Every time I see this, I imagine a gang of thugs finding the guy who wrote it and saying, “A lot of weakness is about to leave your body.”
We Rhymers used to do that–even the girl Rhymers. Then my great-grandmother pointed out that it was better to find a pack of wolves and kill the alpha; the rest of the pack would then fall in line and become your willing slaves. Then great-grandma’s lesbian lover/submissive pointed out that if one did the bear thing, except in the town square, all the townsfolk would be intimidated into just giving you stuff.
The thing is, I can kind of understand what a lot of posters like this are trying to communicate, “Don’t be afraid to hurt when you physically exert yourself; it’ll pay off in the long run,” “Always expecting to fail can translate into self-defeating behavior,” and so on. The most misused, though, has to be anything telling you to “give 110%.” I know, I know, you can usually exert yourself more than you think you can, but, good God, how I learned to hate this mantra when I played football. No, shithead, I’m on the verge of physical collapse here; I’ve played football for six years, I know my body by now, and short of literally killing myself, I’m pretty sure this is just about my maximum effort.
…
Alluded to earlier: Despair, Inc. - Demotivators®, The World’s Best Demotivational Posters
Which reminds me of the Mad Mag parody:
THIMK
- Jack
It worked pretty well with the Israel Defense Force, though. Whenever they’d get attacked (quite often), they’d say “There is no alternative”. Which was quite true, as all those other countries were trying to push them into the sea.
It gives me more of a serial killer vibe. I picture some creepy Hannibal Lector type holding up a glinting scalpel above someone strapped to a table and saying something like :
*“Pain . . . pain is weakness, leaving your body. I’m just going to purge you of your weakness, my dear.” *
I’ve always hated the cliche “If Life hands you lemons, make lemonade” as it seems to be implying life also handed you sugar, clean water, ice, and a pitcher, in which case making lemonade would seem a no brainer unless you’re diabetic or just happen to really like the taste of lemons.
It takes Everyone to make a Democracy
A) No shit.
B) We’re a republic, not a democracy.
The most misused, though, has to be anything telling you to “give 110%.”
These days in football, if you’re only giving 110% you’re not even trying. 120% and 1000% have been spotted out in the wild.
The ulitmate demotivational slogan has to be “Arbeit macht frei”.
I’ve always hated the cliche “If Life hands you lemons, make lemonade” as it seems to be implying life also handed you sugar, clean water, ice, and a pitcher, in which case making lemonade would seem a no brainer unless you’re diabetic or just happen to really like the taste of lemons.
I happen to prefer my brother’s version: “If life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours.” I realize you’re still missing some ingredients, but the goal is so much better!
My daughter has taken to quoting a commercial parody she saw on youtube, “If God gives you lemons, FIND A NEW GOD!!!”
A motivational slogan I’ve seen on promotional gear for the US Marine Corps: Pain is weakness leaving the body. :rolleyes:
I’ll remember that next time I get a migraine.
Hey!
I use that line ALL the time with a variety of kids in my life.
My daughter has taken to quoting a commercial parody she saw on youtube, “If God gives you lemons, FIND A NEW GOD!!!”
This.is.AWESOME!
When I started a job once there was a photocopied “inspirational” story stuck to a cabinet near my desk - I think it had been left by a predecessor. Googling it just now shows that it was The Crayon Box That Talked. I particularly disliked the condescending and sanctimonious suggestion that an enlightened person can show unenlightened people how to get along, and eventually binned the photocopy.
I happen to prefer my brother’s version: “If life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours.” I realize you’re still missing some ingredients, but the goal is so much better!
My favorite is, “If someone gives you lemons, squeeze the lemons then find the asshole who gave you lemons instead of the oranges you asked for and throw it in his face.”
My Mom has one that says something like “If life gives you lemons, squirt the juice into the eyes of your enemy.”
I always say “If life gives you crap, make crap-ade.”
On the wall of my TAC (my highschool’s version of a homeroom) in my junior and senior year:
Shoot for the Moon… Even if You Miss, You’ll Land among the Stars!
No. NO. No you will NOT. You will land in an *airless void *where you will die a quick and painful death.
From way back when…
THINK
Wasn’t that always THNIK?
I’ve always hated the cliche “If Life hands you lemons, make lemonade”
I always think of the classic PA strip…
Gabe: You know what my mom used to say: “When life gives you shit,” you just… Uh…
Tycho: Make Shit-ade? What?
Gabe: Wait, it’s coming to me.