What's the stupidest, least motivating, motivational poster/slogan you've ever seen?

[gigi]

Or “numbnuts”.

[Skald_the_Rhymer]

@cmkeller

EvilTOJ:

Yeah, but that has an “I” also, setting you up for a counter-retort. Better to use “dumb”.

Except when the person retorts, “There’s also an I in stupid,” he ends up insulting himself unless he phrases it very, very carefully.

[Elendil_s_Heir]

@BrassyPhrase

I’m a big fan of Pearls Before Swine…

Dorothy Parker, who was always good for a quip or zinger, was, the story goes, once invited to go through a doorway first by a younger woman who said, “Age before beauty!” Parker strode past, saying, “Pearls before swine!”

[gigi]

@Elendil_s_Heir

Dorothy Parker, who was always good for a quip or zinger, was, the story goes, once invited to go through a doorway first by a younger woman who said, “Age before beauty!” Parker strode past, saying, “Pearls before swine!”

I pulled that one on a friend of mine recently ETA: because I had heard the story, not because I am that witty!

[InterestedObserver]

At the child care at my health club…“smiling” kitten with the caption, “A day without laughter is wasted.”

And a woman in the facility at the time said of it, “Oh, I SO agree!” And to me (who happend to be a fairly recent widow at the time), “I don’t think I’ve EVER gone a day without laughing! Have YOU?” I looked her in the eye and said, “Yes, I have.” (quite a few of them lately, in fact) No attitude, no elaboration, just a simple statement of fact.

She looked at me as if I were the biggest sourpuss in the universe…as if I had just deliberately and maliciously pissed on her kitten :mad:

I looked at her and thought, Honey, you are older than ME, and if you’ve NEVER gone a day w/o laughing, then you are either delusional, lying, or damned lucky. :dubious:)

[InterestedObserver]

@Malleus_Incus_Stapes

A door in my high school had a poster of… let me see, I believe it was a cat, on the head of a dog, on top of another dog. Getting a cake from the refrigerator. You see, it was only by standing on top of each other that they were able to reach [del]their goal[/del] the cake. The text was something along the lines of “Everyone wins when you work together”.

Just some of the problems I can name with this one:

1. Cats don’t eat cake. Cats can’t taste sweetness. A beefsteak, maybe, or a tuna saled. But not cake.

2. And if cats did eat cake, you know the kitteh would have taken it all for himself instead of sharing with the dogs.

3. IIRC, the dog on the bottom was large enough to get the cake himself if he streched. Instead, the lazy mutt lay down on the floor and let the cat go fetch his dessert for him. He desrves to get cheated out of his share by the cat.

Although, the poster did make me think. Specifically, it made me think, “How *did *they get those animals to stand on top of one another? Or was it just Photoshopped?”

You’re like me…you just think to damn much. ;)

[Malthus]

@InterestedObserver

At the child care at my health club…“smiling” kitten with the caption, “A day without laughter is wasted.”

And a woman in the facility at the time said of it, “Oh, I SO agree!” And to me (who happend to be a fairly recent widow at the time), “I don’t think I’ve EVER gone a day without laughing! Have YOU?” I looked her in the eye and said, “Yes, I have.” (quite a few of them lately, in fact) No attitude, no elaboration, just a simple statement of fact.

She looked at me as if I were the biggest sourpuss in the universe…as if I had just deliberately and maliciously pissed on her kitten :mad:

I looked at her and thought, Honey, you are older than ME, and if you’ve NEVER gone a day w/o laughing, then you are either delusional, lying, or damned lucky. :dubious:)

If you deliberately pissed on her kitten in that exchange, and I saw that, at least I would get my daily quota of laughter in.

[InterestedObserver]

@DesertDog

…

Quote:

Originally Posted by Roland Orzabal
If I plan to learn, I must learn to plan. Seen in various classrooms from elementary school to college.
Quote:

Originally Posted by Mystery Men
Mr. Furious: Okay, am I the only one who finds these sayings just a little bit formulaic? “If you want to push something down, you have to pull it up. If you want to go left, you have to go right.” It’s–
The Sphinx: Your temper is very quick, my friend. But until you learn to master your rage–
Mr. Furious: --Your rage will become your master? That’s what you were going to say. Right? Right?
The Sphinx: . . . Not necessarily.
…
OMG, this was EXACTLY what that quote brought to mind! (yes, I posted in reply to the OP then read back;))

[InterestedObserver]

@Malthus

If you deliberately pissed on her kitten in that exchange, and I saw that, at least I would get my daily quota of laughter in.

Now THAT would be a good motivational poster!

[Elendil_s_Heir]

Lolcat: “Im pizzin on yer kitten!”

[Ludovic]

I extinguishing your kitteh!

[Askance]

Thanks all for the great inputs so far. I had intended they be serious attempts to motivate that just went stupidly wrong, but the deliberately funny ones are fine too. Sadly my office hasn’t changed the one in the OP yet.

[Gyrate]

@InterestedObserver

At the child care at my health club…“smiling” kitten with the caption, “A day without laughter is wasted.”

Best version of this comes from Steve Martin:

You’ve got to laugh once a day. Because a day without laughter is like a day without sunshine. And a day without sunshine is like…night.

[Cluricaun]

There is no “I” in Team. However there are "I"s in both “Win” and “Victory” but not a single one in “Loser”.

[astorian]

"It takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile."
Yeah? Well, it took more muscles for you to walk over here and tell me that than it would have to sit down, shut up, and leave me the hell alone!

I smile when I’m happy, I frown when I’m not. The amount of muscular exertion either expression would require doesn’t enter into it.

[KRC]

“It takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile!”

But the doctor told me I needed more exercise.

[Kobal2]

@KRC

“It takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile!”

But the doctor told me I needed more exercise.

Or, as Bill Hicks put it : “Yeah ? Well it takes more muscles to point that out than to leave me the fuck alone, don’t it ?”

[Jackmannii]

@Gala_Matrix_Fire

6. If a lion can’t kill a gazelle, it can eat a rodent. It isn’t going to starve to death without killing a gazelle every day.

Now I have an image in my head of majestic herds of rodents roaming the Serengeti plain. Suddenly a lion appears.

The squeaking can be heard for miles.

If life hands you a rodent, look upon it as a tasty snack.

[Skald_the_Rhymer]

@Jackmannii

Now I have an image in my head of majestic herds of rodents roaming the Serengeti plain. Suddenly a lion appears.

The squeaking can be heard for miles.

If life hands you a rodent, look upon it as a tasty snack.

I haven’t a cite at hand, but I can’t imagine lions hunting rodents in any way other than, “Oh, that rat just walked up to me like an idiot. Think I’ll eat 'em.” The amount of calories it would expend catching the little vermin would likely be more than it would recoup when catching one…

[Rich_Mann]

@Nature_s_Call

In the front lobby of an insurance co. I saw a massive, floor to ceiling sized poster in the classic motivational style. The picture was of a majestic mountain range. The caption has me puzzled:
Behind every mountain there is another mountain - Haitian proverb
I truly do not get the motivational value of this - and cannot fathom why they would so prominently display it.

It makes me wonder just how many mountains there are in the island nation of Haiti? Seems to me that eventually (like after around one or two) you would come over a mountain and see an uninterrupted expanse of ocean instead of another mountain.