# What's the title of your autobiography, and the epitaph on your tombstone, gonna be? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 26, 2004, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959 "2004-07-26T17:56:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Chastain86](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Chastain86](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chastain86)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959/1 "2004-07-26T17:56:04Z")
If they’re the same, state as such. Otherwise, two phrases should do nicely. 🙂 The Autobiography of Chastain86 _Line Up For Your Pitting. This Could Take Awhile._ Here Lies Chastain86 _You Say Goodbye, and I Say Hello._ ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959/2 "2004-07-26T18:06:23Z")
Back when I was teaching, a student wrote the following on an end-of-term evaluation of me: _She drinks a lot of Diet Coke, and sometimes her jokes are really weird._ Change “Diet Coke” to “Diet Dr Pepper” and change it to past tense, and I think it’s a dandy epitaph. ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959/3 "2004-07-26T18:09:06Z")
“Here lies Crayons… Meh…” ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959/4 "2004-07-26T18:09:54Z")
If you know what you’re doing, it’s not an adventure. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959/5 "2004-07-26T18:21:26Z")
Autobiography: I Was, Therefore I Am Tombstone epitaph: A Grave Mistake (I plan on cremation) ---
**Author:** ![Black\_Train\_Song](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4da419/32.png) [@Black\_Train\_Song](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Black_Train_Song)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959/6 "2004-07-26T18:21:53Z")
Autobiagraphy: “Nothing to see here - four hundred pages of nothing” Epitaph: I told you I was sick. (i’m sure I read that somewhere) ---
**Author:** ![BJMoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@BJMoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BJMoose)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959/7 "2004-07-26T18:26:46Z")
_Gnat Polishing for Fun and Profit_ “Hey, Stupid - you’re standing on my crotch!” ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959/8 "2004-07-26T18:30:36Z")
Autobiography: **Everything In Moderation** Epitaph: \*Too young to die, too Jewish to be born again. \* ;j ---
**Author:** ![NutMagnet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ea5d25/32.png) [@NutMagnet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NutMagnet)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959/9 "2004-07-26T18:50:51Z")
Autobiography: Will SOMEBODY please come and pick up the remains!!? Epitaph: Who the F\*\*k? ---
**Author:** ![mack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mack)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959/10 "2004-07-26T18:55:32Z")
Autobiography: I should do this more often. Epitaph: Tried to Shit, Only Farted ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959/11 "2004-07-26T18:58:01Z")
Autobiography: _Breaking Through the Shell: a life’s journey_ Epitaph: I’m not sure. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959/12 "2004-07-26T19:09:43Z")
> [@Rufus Xavier](#): > > Autobiography: **Everything In Moderation** With all due respect, shouldn’t that be **Coldfire** ’s bio title? ---
**Author:** ![Stuffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Stuffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stuffy)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959/13 "2004-07-26T19:18:06Z")
Autobiography: How the Hell Did that Happen? Epitath: He has a life, and it killed him. ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959/14 "2004-07-26T19:19:51Z")
Autobiography: _Just Shut Up and Do It, OK?_ Tombstone: Here lies Nametag – no longer what he was ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959/15 "2004-07-26T19:23:57Z")
Autobiography: “She Can’t be Serious…Can She?” Carving on the tree that will be placed on my ashes: “Gimme my prize…I’m outta here” ---
**Author:** ![emekthian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecae2f/32.png) [@emekthian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emekthian)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959/16 "2004-07-26T19:33:51Z")
Gravestone: Hey, you, someday you’re gonna be dead an in a grave just like me. Probably sooner than you think too. Pleasant dreams. ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959/17 "2004-07-26T19:38:36Z")
Autobiography: Exhausted, or One Woman’s Victory over Chronic Disease Epitaph: Overoptimistic much? ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959/18 "2004-07-26T19:48:55Z")
Autobiography : “Insert Obscure But Witty Movie Reference Here” Epitaph : Tombstone! Starring : CandidGamera A Yahweh Production ---
**Author:** ![Earthworm\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f07891/32.png) [@Earthworm\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earthworm_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959/19 "2004-07-26T21:08:44Z")
Autobiography: Obsessing over minutia (Now with 30% more minutia!) Epitaph: You mean that’s it? ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959/20 "2004-07-26T21:21:09Z")
Autobiography: “Mastering the Art of Boredome” Tombstone: “Yeah, but you see the other guy…” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959.md?page=2)