# What's the title of your autobiography, and the epitaph on your tombstone, gonna be? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 26, 2004, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959 "2004-07-26T17:56:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959/21 "2004-07-26T22:52:58Z")
autobiography, first draft: “Mind Like a Steel Sieve” tombstone: ceramic statue in shape of dropped ice cream cone: no words ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959/22 "2004-07-26T23:03:00Z")
Tombstone: \ ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959/23 "2004-07-26T23:20:14Z")
Assuming it would fit: “To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow, Creeps in this petty pace from day to day, To the last syllable of recorded time; And all our yesterdays have lighted fools The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle! Life’s but a walking shadow; a poor player, That struts and frets his hour upon the stage, And then is heard no more: it is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing.” And no one, including me, would buy or even read my autobiography so why bother? ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959/24 "2004-07-26T23:34:21Z")
Autobiography: _Huh?_ Epitath: Yes, I am the voice in your head that tells you to kill. Now I’ve carved it in a friggin’ rock. What more evidence do you need, and why aren’t your enemies dead yet? ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959/25 "2004-07-26T23:39:04Z")
My tombstone, if I can arrange it, will be an old fashioned obelisk, like so many in the little country cemetery where I will be buried. On one side it will have: My full name Born Dec 31, 1954 Reborn \*\*\*\*\*\*\*\* Job 19:21-27a “I know that my Redeemer lives…” On the opposite side I will have three surnames inscribed, to show who else in the cemetery I was related to. My other relatives there are all from my mother’s side of the family, so I will be the only one with my name. I got the “Reborn” idea, instead of “Died” when I last saw the AIDS quilt. That’s how the family of one of those memorialized had made his quilt piece, and I liked it. I don’t remember the name of the person, but maybe there will be some way to look him up later on and tell him about it, and have a laugh. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959/26 "2004-07-26T23:52:13Z")
Epitaph: I knew this would happen, just not so soon. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959/27 "2004-07-27T01:23:41Z")
Biography: _Requiem for a Madman_ Epitaph: Either _“He Was Useful”_, or [something like this.](http://spaceprojects.arc.nasa.gov/Space_Projects/pioneer/Plaque.gif) (Nudge nudge, get it?) ---
**Author:** ![The\_27th\_Evil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ebca7d/32.png) [@The\_27th\_Evil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_27th_Evil)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959/28 "2004-07-27T01:28:45Z")
Title of my autobiography: **Ummmm… What was I talking about again?** Epitaph: Now I’ll _really_ raise hell. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959/29 "2004-07-27T01:37:56Z")
They’ll be the same: **What the hell was that?** ---
**Author:** ![ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959/30 "2004-07-27T02:19:33Z")
Autobiography: My best guess Epitaph: Cast your eyes on the ocean Cast your soul to the sea When the dark night seems endless Please remember me ---
**Author:** ![Egad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Egad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Egad)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959/31 "2004-07-27T02:29:36Z")
" Wow this sucks. " " Well that sucked. " ---
**Author:** ![JimSox5](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b5a626/32.png) [@JimSox5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimSox5)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959/32 "2004-07-27T02:47:07Z")
Hey, I want to play! Autobiography: _None of your business!_ Epitaph: I guess this is why nobody will work Customer Service for the Universe. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959/33 "2004-07-27T02:48:06Z")
Autobio: Making a Difference for the Good? You Decide Tombstone: No. Place me on the ground without nasty chemicals and let my sig line apply 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959/34 "2004-07-27T02:57:35Z")
Autobiography: _Wha?_ Tombstone: _Damn it!_ ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959/35 "2004-07-27T03:05:18Z")
Autobiography will have the same title as my website: A Slice of Life, on Wry Tombstone: We are all terminal, some of us are just terminal faster. ---
**Author:** ![hlanelee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3bc359/32.png) [@hlanelee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hlanelee)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959/36 "2004-07-27T03:05:34Z")
Autobiography: **On Being Drunk and Crazy and Brain Damaged** There will be no tombstone!!! ---
**Author:** ![JimSox5](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b5a626/32.png) [@JimSox5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimSox5)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959/37 "2004-07-27T03:12:26Z")
Ooo! I just thought of another tombstone. _Life is a race, and I beat you. Loser._ ---
**Author:** ![Bambi\_Hassenpfeffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Bambi\_Hassenpfeffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bambi_Hassenpfeffer)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959/38 "2004-07-27T05:00:14Z")
Autobio: _Huh? What?_, because I always seem to be about 10 minutes behind everyone else. Epitaph: “Here lies an atheist. All dressed up and nowhere to go.” ---
**Author:** ![Triskadecamus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@Triskadecamus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Triskadecamus)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959/39 "2004-07-27T05:09:54Z")
Autobiography Title: “It’s not finished yet.” Epitaph: OK, I’m done now. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959/40 "2004-07-27T05:45:10Z")
Autobiography: The hell if I know! Epitaph: “Can I have the remote now?” Your beloved husband 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959.md?page=3)