# What's the title of your autobiography, and the epitaph on your tombstone, gonna be? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 26, 2004, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959 "2004-07-26T17:56:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Beauty\_Personified](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e480ec/32.png) [@Beauty\_Personified](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beauty_Personified)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959/41 "2004-07-27T07:10:53Z")
I like **BJMoose** ’s epitaph - _“Hey, Stupid - you’re standing on my crotch!”_ 😃 I won’t be needing an epitaph for a long, long, _long_ time, so I haven’t thought of one. And I’d have to put out many autobiographies for the same reason. And then, after a while, most people will likely not live long enough to read every autobiographies that had been released. However, I do have a title for an autobiography that, while _totally_ spurious, would cause a lot of controversy, and subsequently, get a lot of publicity. 😉 _ **WARNING!** The following title may (will likely) offend some (many) viewers._ _I Like To Put My Penis in the Mouths of Little Children_ :eek: Sorry. Anyhoo… ---
**Author:** ![Beauty\_Personified](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e480ec/32.png) [@Beauty\_Personified](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beauty_Personified)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959/42 "2004-07-27T07:25:51Z")
Let the flaming begin! :rolleyes: Seriously, if my previous post is truly inappropriate for the SDMB, then _please_ have it removed. However, I must emphasize that the post was in no way meant to cause trouble or problems. And I don’t really want to get involved in any debates. And I definitely don’t want to step into The Pit, where I’ve never yet ventured (intentionally) and don’t plan to. Sorry, again. (And anyone who knows me, knows that I rarely apologize for anything I do that I don’t feel truly needs an apology. This is one of those rare occasions.) Anyhoo… ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959/43 "2004-07-27T11:54:43Z")
Autobiography: _Diary._ It will be a journal, with a lock on it, and inside every page will be blank. Cremation, here. No tombstone/epitaph. ---
**Author:** ![SuperDuperMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecb155/32.png) [@SuperDuperMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuperDuperMan)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959/44 "2004-07-28T00:13:47Z")
Title of the Autobiography: Yes, I Know it Only Needed a Pamphlet, but what the Hell. And the Epitaph: Here he lies, Dead and buried. Probably because, He was married. ---
**Author:** ![Katriona](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/katriona/32/113_2.png) [@Katriona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katriona)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959/45 "2004-07-28T01:58:09Z")
I think one phrase will do nicely for both: I Barfed on Mickey Mouse My crazy aunt fed me full of junk and then took me on Disneyland’s teacup ride. Mickey came up to say ‘hi’ as we got off, and…blech. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![ccwaterback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@ccwaterback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ccwaterback)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959/46 "2004-07-28T02:24:37Z")
Autobiography: You wouldn’t complain if you were me. Tombstone epitaph: What? No encore? Tombstone epitaph: Every day you get closer and closer to me. Tombstone epitaph: It really doesn’t matter if you eat your vegetables. Tombstone epitaph: Did anyone get that guy’s license plate number? > **[Please Don't Bury Me Lyrics - John Prine - Cowboy Lyrics](https://www.cowboylyrics.com/lyrics/prine-john/please-dont-bury-me-10851.html)** > > Please Don't Bury Me lyrics: Woke up this morning Put on my slippers Walked in the kitchen and died And oh what a feeling! When my soul Went thru the ceiling And on up into heaven I did ride When I got there they did say Give my feet to the footloose Careless, fancy free Give my knees to the needy Don’t pull that stuff on me Hand me down my walking cane It’s a sin to tell a lie Send my mouth way down south And kiss my ass goodbye [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-title-of-your-autobiography-and-the-epitaph-on-your-tombstone-gonna-be/256959.md?page=2)