# What's the trick to Persian girls? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 25, 2007, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-trick-to-persian-girls/401596 "2007-04-25T15:24:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Grey\_area](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Grey\_area](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grey_area)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2007, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-trick-to-persian-girls/401596/101 "2007-04-27T04:13:39Z")
[QUOTE=John Carter of Mars] I wouldn’t have a problem with giving you her number. She’s been hit on a bunch of times before and turned 'em down. She’d just turn you down too. That’s what a woman that’s contented with her situation does. Married, engaged, or not, if your lady’s attractive, guys are going to check her out to see if she’s available for hanky-panky or whatever. You want a girl nobody else finds attractive? You got security issues or somethin’? [/QUOTE] It’s a matter of decency. What are you trying to achieve? You succeed, you’re screwing up another guy’s engagement/marriage. You can say “well someone else would’ve done it,” and maybe that’s true but I want no part in something like that, and not because I’m afraid of this hypothetical husband. If you don’t succeed, you’re just an arrogant dipshit for trying. Maybe I do have security issues, because quite frankly I don’t like it when guys chase after my SO despite the fact she tells them she not available. It doesn’t destroy my world, but it is irksome and I don’t think very highly of those men. So you’re saying you honestly wouldn’t mind if I _did_ know your SO and was genuinely trying to sleep with her? Would you think highly of me? But I am becoming increasingly aware (surprisingly) that my opinion is not a popular one, so I’ll let you guys go on and be the Spartacus of ass liberation for all I care. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2007, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-trick-to-persian-girls/401596/102 "2007-04-27T05:50:18Z")
[QUOTE=r4nd0mNumb3rs] So you’re saying you honestly wouldn’t mind if I _did_ know your SO and was genuinely trying to sleep with her? [/quote] Not a problem, as long as you understand what NO means when she says it to you. > [@](#): > > Would you think highly of me? I wouldn’t think much about you one way or the other. Just another guy doin’ what guys do. No harm, no foul. ---
**Author:** ![Quint](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/76d3ee/32.png) [@Quint](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quint)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2007, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-trick-to-persian-girls/401596/103 "2007-04-27T06:35:10Z")
[QUOTE=Sleel] Women in their mid-twenties and older still do that. I’ve known women in their 40s who had male friends that they thought of as nothing more than friends; I’m not so sure the guy was thinking that he was excluded from her pool of available penises, though. The thing is, it’s not really a game, it’s just how most women think. And once you’re in the friend zone it’s very difficult to get out. It usually takes behavior shocking enough to end the prior relationship if it doesn’t work out. Making a move doesn’t mean that you can’t explain that you used to think of her as a friend but now are attracted to her, or that you respected her previous relationships enough to not intrude but now are seeing signals and an opportunity to change things. If you’re going to manage the jump from friend to relationship anyway, telling about your feelings isn’t going to do any further harm, and might just help. I’ve been with women from lots of different cultures and ethnic backgrounds, (including a short-term thing with a Persian girl in college now that I think about it) and there’s not really any “trick” to any of them. Women like pretty much the same things no matter what their upbringing or background. Most of the stuff that whitebread American chicks value will work for Persian, Chinese, Brazilian, or whatever women. Make a woman feel special, valued, safe, and strike a balance between being slightly dominant and making sure she feels like she has an “out” from things so that she doesn’t feel trapped, and you’re pretty much golden. Notice that all of this precludes your being an asshole most of the time. If you’re going after someone who consistently likes to be treated badly, you’re chasing trouble. [/QUOTE] This is good advice for the OP. I’m gonna add specifics that any young fellow who finds himself in the “friend zone” and wants to break out of it can use. Listen up kids, this is gold. You **can’t** suddenly make a move like trying to kiss her or laying bare your desire in a heart to heart talk. This kind of sudden shift is only going to result in shock, not reciprocity. What you need is “incidental intimate contact”- seemingly innocuous contact which brings you physically closer together without initially seeming to break the constraints of your “friendly” relationship. I’m not talking bout hugging. Hugging is **too** intimate while at the same time being something done between friends/family/people in a team building exercise on a corporate weekend. Forget hugging. Here is what you do. First, offer her your arm as you walk down the street. Might seem cheezy at first, but trust me, it is the ideal first step. It’s not something she’ll do with many people, and it will seem in keeping with your friendship. You head off down the street, and nearly as a joke you offer her the crook of your arm to link with hers. It’ll probably seem a little corny, funny, old-fashioned, she’ll think “why not”? Next you’re walking arm in arm down the street on a carefree, friendly jaunt through friendlytown. You’ve just bumped things up one notch. Next step- this is a doozy- hold her hand. There is in my experience no single intimate act more derided or ignored than hand-holding. If you can get her to take your hand you are well over halfway there. This has worked for me more times than I can tell you. It’s always the same- hold out your hand… she may hesitate, but ultimately when she takes it she’ll know. She’ll know you want more than friendship. As you walk with her hand in yours, you’ll know too. When do friends walk hand in hand down the street? It’s an intimacy that has lost favour and therefore can be attempted without fear. A line will have been crossed, and without having to say anything you’ll both know that you have initiated intimate physical contact with the intention of pursuing her further. I don’t guarantee success, but I guarantee if you can get her to hold your hand she’ll know and consider your true motivations. After successfully completing these two steps, you can do as you see fit. Myself, I always orchestrate an opportunity for a dance that is intimate yet socially acceptable. Salsa is a good option, but nothing beats swinging to Frank Sinatra. This type of dance involves a lot of necessary intimate contact with the opportunity to add a meaningful squeeze here and there. At this point she’ll know you are interested, and may feel that the slow romantic manner in which you have revealed your true feelings are worth seeing if your boudoir manners are a slow and romantic match. After which she may or may not let you “liberate her ass”. May god have mercy on my soul for revealing these priceless techniques to you all. ---
**Author:** ![Sevastopol](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Sevastopol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sevastopol)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2007, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-trick-to-persian-girls/401596/104 "2007-04-27T07:30:58Z")
[QUOTE=Grossbottom] … For all who think I’m a crazy: I’m still waiting for someone to claim firsthand knowledge either way. Aha! See? Sound of crickets. I am so not imagining this issue. 😃 [/QUOTE] / Claims Firsthand Knowledge / I hear no crickets. Now there is a perfectly plausible argument that my exceptional charm overwhelms the effect you posit. Almost as likely, you perceive an effect that just is not there, making more of your own singular experience, than it merits. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2007, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-trick-to-persian-girls/401596/105 "2007-04-27T07:32:53Z")
**What’s the trick to Persian girls?** You need to wear a turban, carry a scimitar, and be able to walk through spike pits and run underneath gates right before they close. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2007, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-trick-to-persian-girls/401596/106 "2007-04-27T14:19:02Z")
[QUOTE=Autolycus] Have you kissed her? That will give you an answer I think. [/QUOTE] Yep. That’s where it is. ---
**Author:** ![pizzabrat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e9c0ed/32.png) [@pizzabrat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pizzabrat)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2007, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-trick-to-persian-girls/401596/107 "2007-04-27T15:31:08Z")
I’m surprised by the abundance of neutral to positive responses. Are Anaamika the only ones who are absolutely nauseated by the OP (well, Anaamika didn’t say she was nauseated, but I was thinking some of the things she said)? “I’ve had my share of tough projects, extracted my share of Indian/Greek/Chinese girls out from under their daddys’ noses, I’m not completely unskilled when it comes to the more delicate points and imperialistic overtones of interethnic romance.” That’s freaking disgusting - and the faux-irony is completely disingenuous. ---
**Author:** ![Grey\_area](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Grey\_area](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grey_area)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2007, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-trick-to-persian-girls/401596/108 "2007-04-27T16:23:56Z")
[QUOTE=John Carter of Mars] Not a problem, as long as you understand what NO means when she says it to you. [/quote] What, you think if I really wanted to sleep with her I’m going to just go up to her and say “hey let’s fuck”? Anyone with half a brain is not going to set himself up for that sort of easy rejection. I’m not talking about hitting on her, I’m talking about _pursuing_ her. > [@](#): > > I wouldn’t think much about you one way or the other. Just another guy doin’ what guys do. No harm, no foul. So can I safely say that you yourself have no qualms about pursuing married/engaged women ? ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2007, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-trick-to-persian-girls/401596/109 "2007-04-27T17:07:59Z")
Try singing Klingon Love Songs to her. It might not _work_, but at least you’ll have memorized several Klingon Love Songs, & that’s always good, right? ---
**Author:** ![Aangelica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b2d939/32.png) [@Aangelica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aangelica)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2007, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-trick-to-persian-girls/401596/110 "2007-04-28T02:47:54Z")
Me, I’ve decided that since the OP claims this girl’s a friend of his and therefore she presumably knows him, she’s decided (like Anaamika and several others in this thread) that she’d rather commit ritual suicide than allow him anywhere near her cooter. Hell, I’ve never met the OP, but that’s my general opinion of him (not that it matters, as I’m not Persian and am happily married to someone who never felt the need to liberate my ass and has the good sense not to refer to me as “girl”). Hence, no need to provide him with the “advice” he’s so obnoxiously seeking. Therefore, the advice given quite early in this thread “She’s not that into you” seems to be the most pertinent. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2007, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-trick-to-persian-girls/401596/111 "2007-04-28T04:13:40Z")
[QUOTE=r4nd0mNumb3rs] What, you think if I really wanted to sleep with her I’m going to just go up to her and say “hey let’s fuck”? Anyone with half a brain is not going to set himself up for that sort of easy rejection. I’m not talking about hitting on her, I’m talking about _pursuing_ her. [/quote] You could pursue/hit on/ whatever until she became aware of your presence and said the magic word…“NO”. After that you’d peel off or get peeled off. > [@](#): > > So can I safely say that you yourself have no qualms about pursuing married/engaged women ? I’m with someone now that I’m satisfied with. When I was single it was a different story. No qualms at all. If some guy picks a girl that wants to play around, that’s his problem. His poor judgement creates no obligation in the rest of mankind. ---
**Author:** ![liberty3701](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3d9bf3/32.png) [@liberty3701](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/liberty3701)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2007, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-trick-to-persian-girls/401596/112 "2007-04-28T04:19:26Z")
[QUOTE=Grossbottom] Why would I be “careful”? What happens if I don’t, the word police arrest me? This a thread about banging a chick, and that should have been obvious in the OP. If you don’t like my terms, stop reading. I’m okay with your not liking them, the way I’m okay with talking about all my relationships without cite checking feminist literature for political orthodoxy. And believe me, if you think the terms you highlighted are “pretty misogynistic,” then it’s gonna be rough going on this front. Pretty misogynistic is someone wrapped in a burqa, ballgagged, strapped to a table and forced to listen to “We Want Some Pussy” by 2 Live Crew. This? Please. [/QUOTE] I thought the point of the Straight Dope was to fight ignorance, not bask in it. ---
**Author:** ![MoodIndigo1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e8c25b/32.png) [@MoodIndigo1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MoodIndigo1)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2007, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-trick-to-persian-girls/401596/113 "2007-04-28T04:51:41Z")
I think the young woman is just playing a sort of ritualistic game that a lot of women play-- its only purpose being to test their desirability. She’s just not into you, or she would have signaled you more clearly. BTW, I know a drop-dead Persian young woman who married a very, very rich, handsome, and loving Italian-Canadian guy, so the line is not etched in stone. ---
**Author:** ![gladtobeblazed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/85f322/32.png) [@gladtobeblazed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gladtobeblazed)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2007, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-trick-to-persian-girls/401596/114 "2007-04-28T04:59:12Z")
Grossbottom. That’s your problem right there buddy, you need to wipe your funky ass! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2007, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-trick-to-persian-girls/401596/115 "2007-04-28T05:20:49Z")
Y’know, I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t know the second thing about women. But I do know the first thing, and I’m continually amazed by how many guys apparently don’t. The first thing about women is that they’re _human_. If I wonder how a woman will feel about something, I ask myself how I would feel. It’s not always the right answer, but more often than not, it is, since she, like myself, is human. So think about it. If the roles were reversed, here, how would you feel? That’s your first clue as to what this “piece of ass” thinks about you. ---
**Author:** ![Grey\_area](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Grey\_area](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grey_area)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2007, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-trick-to-persian-girls/401596/116 "2007-04-28T05:21:54Z")
[QUOTE=John Carter of Mars] I’m with someone now that I’m satisfied with. When I was single it was a different story. No qualms at all. If some guy picks a girl that wants to play around, that’s his problem. His poor judgement creates no obligation in the rest of mankind. [/QUOTE] I don’t think because your wife/fiancee cheats, it automatically means you have poor judgment. I personally think that pursuing unavailable women is selfish and in poor taste. Like I said earlier, it’s a matter of decency. It’s fucking with some hapless dude’s life so you can have some fun. If you don’t get why I don’t think that’s cool, then I am at a loss. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2007, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-trick-to-persian-girls/401596/117 "2007-04-28T05:39:27Z")
[QUOTE=r4nd0mNumb3rs] It’s fucking with some hapless dude’s life so you can have some fun. If you don’t get why I don’t think that’s cool, then I am at a loss. [/QUOTE] I don’t think some hapless dude’s happiness is my responsibility. At any rate, I’m getting the feeling that I’ve been around the block a few more times than you have. Be that as it may, let’s just agree to disagree on this point. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Grey\_area](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Grey\_area](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grey_area)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2007, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-trick-to-persian-girls/401596/118 "2007-04-28T05:46:16Z")
[QUOTE=John Carter of Mars] I don’t think some hapless dude’s happiness is my responsibility. [/quote] Yeah that’s not selfish. > [@](#): > > At any rate, I’m getting the feeling that I’ve been around the block a few more times than you have. And that’s not arrogant. > [@](#): > > Be that as it may, let’s just agree to disagree on this point. 🙂 Sure thing. =) ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2007, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-trick-to-persian-girls/401596/119 "2007-04-28T07:17:49Z")
[QUOTE=Chronos] So think about it. If the roles were reversed, here, how would you feel? [/QUOTE] “She wants to bang me? SWEET! Rawk on!” Perhaps here we come to the nub of the problem. ---
**Author:** ![Grossbottom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ba8739/32.png) [@Grossbottom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grossbottom)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2007, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-trick-to-persian-girls/401596/120 "2007-04-28T12:24:15Z")
[QUOTE=Quint] Next step- this is a doozy- hold her hand. There is in my experience no single intimate act more derided or ignored than hand-holding. If you can get her to take your hand you are well over halfway there. This has worked for me more times than I can tell you. It’s always the same- hold out your hand… she may hesitate, but ultimately when she takes it she’ll know. She’ll know you want more than friendship. As you walk with her hand in yours, you’ll know too. When do friends walk hand in hand down the street? It’s an intimacy that has lost favour and therefore can be attempted without fear. A line will have been crossed, and without having to say anything you’ll both know that you have initiated intimate physical contact with the intention of pursuing her further. I don’t guarantee success, but I guarantee if you can get her to hold your hand she’ll know and consider your true motivations. [/QUOTE] Yeah, that’s a doozy. But okay, this is good thinking. [QUOTE=liberty3701] I thought the point of the Straight Dope was to fight ignorance, not bask in it. [/QUOTE] Your difficulty with understanding the ability to objectify someone sexually while at the same time loving them as a friend and more appears to be the ignorance at work in our particular back and forth. Personally, I find the thought of being in any other sort of romantic relationship repellant and boring. [QUOTE=Chronos] So think about it. If the roles were reversed, here, how would you feel? That’s your first clue as to what this “piece of ass” thinks about you. [/QUOTE] She wants to bang me? SWEET! Rawk on! I mean, I wouldn’t break off an engagement for it but hey, it’s props. Besides, “piece of ass” was a creation of the recreational outrage crew, I wouldn’t use it myself. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-trick-to-persian-girls/401596.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-trick-to-persian-girls/401596.md?page=7)