# What's the worst advertising copy ever? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 20, 2004, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-advertising-copy-ever/265203 "2004-09-20T22:54:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2004, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-advertising-copy-ever/265203/41 "2004-10-12T00:01:19Z")
I didn’t see this one “in the wild”, but in some kind of collection of bad ads. It was an ad for a travel agency IIRC, and they were pushing trips to Germany. The ad showed a cartoon drawing of a NAZI :eek: at what looked like a road checkpoint, and he was saying something like “So, you haff friends in Germany?” Yikes. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2004, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-advertising-copy-ever/265203/42 "2004-10-12T00:20:43Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > And there was a billboard along Highway 101 in San Jose, for a company that rented CAD tools with three women - one trashy, one medium, and one homebodyish, with the caption that you can rent our tools by the hour, day or month. > ☹ :o 😉 ---
**Author:** ![drewbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drewbert/32/15890_2.png) [@drewbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewbert)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2004, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-advertising-copy-ever/265203/43 "2004-10-12T00:25:08Z")
> [@Mr. Blue Sky](#): > > Could be worse. It could have been Torgo’s Subs. 😃 “Let… me just get your… complimentary… crazy bread.” “NOOOO!” Anyone remember the Doxidan Cowboy? “Doxidan, Doxidan, when Nature needs a helpin’ hand…” ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2004, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-advertising-copy-ever/265203/44 "2004-10-12T00:29:14Z")
For really bad old ads, there’s always [this](http://lileks.com/oldads/teens/index.html) classic collection. ---
**Author:** ![emekthian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecae2f/32.png) [@emekthian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emekthian)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2004, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-advertising-copy-ever/265203/45 "2004-10-12T00:36:57Z")
I saw an ad for Listerine in a late '60s Readers Digest. It showed a picture of a shop owner saying something along the lines of: “Sure it tastes lousy, but that means it’s really keeping my teeth clean and breath fresh” Never thought explicitly saying your product tastes lousy would be a good way to sell it. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2004, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-advertising-copy-ever/265203/46 "2004-10-12T00:41:50Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > That was Mitchum—“With Mitchum, you can skip a day!” The best take-off on this was on the Carol Burnett show, where she plays a shlumpy housewife who, one morning, is confronted by advertising jingles popping up as she goes through her morning routine (she opens the marjorine box and it says “Parkay”, etc.). She finally gives up and goes back to bed. She climbs in, and suddenly Lyle Waggoner appears, and gives the Mitchum line “I didn’t use my anti-persperant yesterday, AND I may not today”. Carol gives Lyle (who in those days was fairly hunky) the once over, says “WHO CARES!”, and jumps on him. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2004, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-advertising-copy-ever/265203/47 "2004-10-12T01:21:00Z")
Southeastern Pennsylvania Tranit Authority (SEPTA) had a slogan promoting their light-rail commuter service into Philadelphia. _SEPTA – it’s better than driving_ Talk about damning with faint praise. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2004, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-advertising-copy-ever/265203/48 "2004-10-12T02:21:42Z")
> [@emekthian](#): > > Never thought explicitly saying your product tastes lousy would be a good way to sell it. Why not? It works for [Buckley’s Mixture](http://www.buckleys.com/). 🙂 The problem with SEPTA isn’t the slogan–it’s the acronym. It’s just too close to ‘septic’… not a good association for a transit agency. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2004, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-advertising-copy-ever/265203/49 "2004-10-12T02:46:37Z")
When I worked in the hospital, we’d get drug salespeople coming in and passing out tsatske to promote their products. One such item was a hot pink asterisk-shaped flower keychain. On one side of the flower it said _Doxidan in the PM_ and on the flip it said _for a BM in the AM_. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2004, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-advertising-copy-ever/265203/50 "2004-10-12T02:49:54Z")
> [@drewbert](#): > > “Let… me just get your… complimentary… crazy bread.” > “NOOOO!” TV’s Frank: “Hey, it’s been two hours but it’s still warm.” Mads then throw up. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2004, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-advertising-copy-ever/265203/51 "2004-10-12T02:53:59Z")
A dated reference, but surely the most tasteless: the 1984 Winter Olympics were held at Sarajevo. One of the networks had a logo of a skier with crosshairs over it and the slogan “Set your sights on Satajev0”. The assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand at Sarajevo began World War I. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2004, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-advertising-copy-ever/265203/52 "2004-10-12T03:45:47Z")
New UPS ad: “What can brown do for you?” Can’t see one of those without flashing on _The Groove Tube._ (“Brown-29! Something good is always coming out of Uranus!”) The new ads encouraging parents to get involved in keeping their kids off drugs: “You can’t ground me! It was just a little pot!” “You ready to do this?” “Yeah.” “We need to talk. – Mom.” Teenaged girl slumped over a chair in a pool of her own vomit. Film runs in reverse, showing her passing out, then getting stoned, then getting drunk, then leaving the house, then film goes forward again, shows Mom holding a bag of weed – “We need to talk.” Leave the kid alone, asshole! I’ve been where that girl is – more than once – and I’m **glad** I have! And will be again, I hope! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2004, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-advertising-copy-ever/265203/53 "2004-10-12T04:16:54Z")
I found a photo on the net of a billboard encouraging kids to make smart choices about their future. I don’t think they put as much thought into the implications as they did for the punctuation." “It’s my FUTURE! I want to be an engineer… sex CAN WAIT!” ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2004, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-advertising-copy-ever/265203/54 "2004-10-12T04:18:20Z")
On the other hand, my favorite billboard is of a man cooking at a grill, with an attractive woman standing behind him giving him a hug. “Pork. The one you love.” ---
**Author:** ![drewbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drewbert/32/15890_2.png) [@drewbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewbert)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2004, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-advertising-copy-ever/265203/55 "2004-10-12T04:28:05Z")
Seen not five minutes ago: “The eggs come from real chickens. The cheese comes from real cows. And the sausage comes from Jimmy Dean.” :eek: ---
**Author:** ![moriah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b2d939/32.png) [@moriah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moriah)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2004, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-advertising-copy-ever/265203/56 "2004-10-12T15:38:00Z")
Upon arriving in Columbus, Ohio airport (about 15 years ago), there was a great big bulletin board in the concourse alerting newcomers to “The Cultural Events of Columbus.” Small problem: The was only one small photocopied flyer thumbtacked to this giant board. Someone needs to de-pluralize “Events.” ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2004, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-advertising-copy-ever/265203/57 "2004-10-12T15:53:47Z")
> [@winterhawk11](#): > > They’re not meerkats, they’re Spongmonkeys! I kinda liked them. Whenever anyone mentions it I have to do [this.](http://www.rathergood.com/moon_song/) You can thank me later. ---
**Author:** ![Hyperelastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Hyperelastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hyperelastic)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2004, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-advertising-copy-ever/265203/58 "2004-10-12T16:01:02Z")
> [@Saltire](#): > > There’s one running on TV a lot lately, for a bank or a credit card or something–I really can’t recall. > > They are trying to advertise some sort of premium they’re giving out to their customers. They show various people making huge mistakes, then avoiding blame by randomly saying, “Thank you.” For instance, the guy who sent the wrong e-mail to the whole company, or the woman who thought the other woman was pregnant when she wasn’t. Once they say, “Thank you,” they’re let off the hook. > > What the commercial seems to be saying is, “We’re giving you this thing so that you won’t make a fuss about the lousy stuff we’ve done to you at other times.” > > Not, I think, what they should have been going for. That is an _awful_ commercial. The non-sequiturs they show also suggest that you, the customer, can be bought off by a gratuitous tagline. ---
**Author:** ![h.sapiens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e0b2c6/32.png) [@h.sapiens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/h.sapiens)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2004, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-advertising-copy-ever/265203/59 "2004-10-12T18:04:11Z")
I saw this on the back of a bus this morning. The ad was for a foundation repair company called something like “The Crack Team.” It featured a cartoon mascot that looked like a block of cement with a face, arms, and legs, and a big crack in the middle of its head. The name of the character was “Mr. Happy Crack” and the ad slogan was “A Dry Crack is a Happy Crack.” Made me wonder if the person who came up with the ad was… …on crack. ---
**Author:** ![Snickers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snickers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snickers)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2004, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-advertising-copy-ever/265203/60 "2004-10-12T18:18:21Z")
> [@drewbert](#): > > Seen not five minutes ago: > > “The eggs come from real chickens. > The cheese comes from real cows. > And the sausage comes from Jimmy Dean.” > > :eek: I saw that too! I immediately asked the spouse, “Wonder where the sausage comes from? I’m hoping real pigs, but I’m not too optimistic.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-advertising-copy-ever/265203.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-advertising-copy-ever/265203.md?page=4)