# What's the worst advertising copy ever? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 20, 2004, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-advertising-copy-ever/265203 "2004-09-20T22:54:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![ryobserver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b2d939/32.png) [@ryobserver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ryobserver)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-advertising-copy-ever/265203/101 "2008-03-19T00:44:02Z")
[QUOTE=Captain Amazing] I saw an ad that, while it wasn’t bad in itself, was inappropriate in context. I was watching some show on the History Channel about the Holocaust.. They were talking about how the gas chambers and crematoria worked and so on. Cut to a Volkswagen commercial that starts, “Germans have always been known for their engineering skills…”. [/QUOTE] Another such juxtaposition I saw watching PBS over Christmas break: "Closed captioning provided by:… “The rhinovirus…” (start of an ad for Zyrtec medicine) ---
**Author:** ![ryobserver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b2d939/32.png) [@ryobserver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ryobserver)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-advertising-copy-ever/265203/102 "2008-03-19T00:47:53Z")
[QUOTE=Indistinguishable] Hm, it always seemed clear to me that the main idea was that Enzyte is supposed to lengthen one’s penis. I suppose that might be one way of “improving” erections. I admire these spots for being, uh, classier? than one might expect from such a business; silly rather than sleazy. Hell, what I really admire is that they don’t try to make Bob and his wife out into some ultrastudly couple to be droolingly fantasized about, they make them into sort of sweet everyday Joes. [/QUOTE] Actually, I always thought Bob’s wife looked amazingly like Bob in drag. Which added a whole 'nother layer of creep to the whole spectacle. And as for being “classy”, they didn’t have much choice. If they’d gotten any more forthright than hands pointing emphatically at blocks of wood, and Bob’s neighbor’s hose wilting in his hand, the ads couldn’t have aired on basic cable. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-advertising-copy-ever/265203/103 "2008-03-19T01:03:51Z")
[QUOTE=Captain Amazing] I was watching some show on the History Channel about the Holocaust.. They were talking about how the gas chambers and crematoria worked and so on. Cut to a Volkswagen commercial that starts, “Germans have always been known for their engineering skills…”. [/QUOTE] That _should_ have been caught by the traffic department of the History Channel. It was unfortunate, to say the least. I’m hoping someone makes a note of it for next time. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-advertising-copy-ever/265203/104 "2008-03-19T05:04:13Z")
Carl’s Junior but sicne I like to pretend that doesn’t exist… I love this one from Folgers: [![]( " - YouTube") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5idyptK15w) So he makes a veiled threat to leave his wife for one of the girls at the office over her coffee making abilities… she switches to Folgers and he agrees to have sex with her or… something. And then there’s this Jolly Green Giant commercial… [![]( " - YouTube") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDbKlaWgR3Q) I suppose it’s not the ad so much as the JGG is freaking TERRIFYING looking in that commercial. And of course, the old M&M commercials: [![]( " - YouTube") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IoOpLqHnko) Instead of giving me images of delicious candy it brings to mind: The pied piper “Strangers with Candy” lectures and Willy Wonka All in one, and two of those are rather counterintuitive to selling your product. And: [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/Jwb9W51j7fo/hqdefault.jpg "Old McDonalds Advert") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jwb9W51j7fo) Seriously… no, just… no. ---
**Author:** ![Rysto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecccb3/32.png) [@Rysto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysto)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-advertising-copy-ever/265203/105 "2008-03-19T05:47:22Z")
[QUOTE=matt\_mcl] A while ago, the city of Ottawa did a rebranding campaign in which it was decided to emphasize two positive aspects of the metropolitan area: 1. its natural and architectural beauty 2. its bustling high-technology economy And what was the slogan they chose? “Ottawa: Technically Beautiful.” Yeah, just _technically_. This actually caused a mini-scandal: you spent however-much tax money on _that?!_ [/QUOTE] Damnit, I came in here to post that one. The idiots who came up with that were so proud of the double meaning that it never occurred to them that **both** meanings were completely unflattering. ---
**Author:** ![Ximenean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/aca169/32.png) [@Ximenean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ximenean)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2008, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-advertising-copy-ever/265203/106 "2008-03-20T21:55:35Z")
There’s the infamous [“You’re never alone with a Strand”](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/You%27re_never_alone_with_a_Strand) campaign in the late 1950’s, for the British cigarette brand of that name, which was taken off the market shortly afterwards. Moodily shot ads featuring a mysterious loner puffing away in various urban locales. It seems that the negative connotations of lonely, isolated weirdos were not good for sales. Who would have thought it? ---
**Author:** ![jackdavinci](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackdavinci/32/3259_2.png) [@jackdavinci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackdavinci)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2008, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-advertising-copy-ever/265203/107 "2008-03-20T22:03:47Z")
[QUOTE=tracer] Quizno’s’ use of the “We Like the Moon” meerkats was equally less-than-inspiring. If you sell submarine sandwiches, you do **not** want people to associate your product with a pair of creatures that look like dead rats. [/QUOTE] I happened to like them, tho I agree, they seemed a remarkably bizarre choice with a high probability of backlash. On the other hand, I had never heard of Quiznos subs before and now not a month goes by where I don’t hear “We luv deez subs!” singing in my head at some point. ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2008, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-advertising-copy-ever/265203/108 "2008-03-20T22:11:42Z")
[QUOTE=carnivorousplant] A dated reference, but surely the most tasteless: the 1984 Winter Olympics were held at Sarajevo. One of the networks had a logo of a skier with crosshairs over it and the slogan “Set your sights on Satajev0”. The assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand at Sarajevo began World War I. [/QUOTE] And Spider Sabich . [http://www.crimelibrary.com/notorious\_murders/celebrity/claudine\_longet/index.html](http://www.crimelibrary.com/notorious_murders/celebrity/claudine_longet/index.html) I thing Sat Night Live did one with shooting skiers as they skied down hill with awarding points. ---
**Author:** ![iftheresaway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ecae2f/32.png) [@iftheresaway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iftheresaway)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2008, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-advertising-copy-ever/265203/109 "2008-03-21T03:19:08Z")
Oh man, no one’s mentioned one that gets me every time I see it: Pepto Bismol came out with a new children’s version, and the tagline they chose was “Children’s Pink: It does more than you think.” Seriously? Did no one at the advertising firm raise their hand and go, “Um… guys? That might come across badly.” ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2008, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-advertising-copy-ever/265203/110 "2008-03-21T05:03:46Z")
White Castle has a new one featuring Death being called away from his next victim by a Slider. When he stands at line he puts his bony hand on the shoulder of a fellow who has just ordered ten and says, “Good choice.” Of course, those of us who enjoy the products of White Castle already KNOW AND ACCEPT they are Death on a Bun, but this might not help attract new commerce. ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2008, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-advertising-copy-ever/265203/111 "2008-03-21T06:46:36Z")
[QUOTE=ryobserver] Actually, I always thought Bob’s wife looked amazingly like Bob in drag. Which added a whole 'nother layer of creep to the whole spectacle. And as for being “classy”, they didn’t have much choice. If they’d gotten any more forthright than hands pointing emphatically at blocks of wood, and Bob’s neighbor’s hose wilting in his hand, the ads couldn’t have aired on basic cable. [/QUOTE] Well, they did segue pretty quickly from “Bob” wanting to keep his wife happy to “Bob” chasing strange at swinger parties… ---
**Author:** ![rostfrei](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7bcc69/32.png) [@rostfrei](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rostfrei)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2008, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-advertising-copy-ever/265203/112 "2008-03-21T17:54:54Z")
[QUOTE=tracer] And while we’re on the subject of submarine sandwich commercials: Togo’s (I believe) had a commercial where a lady fetched a partially-eaten Togo’s sandwich _out of the trash_ and began to chow down on it. The message was supposed to be “Our sandwiches are so good they’re even worth eating in **this** state!”, but the message this viewer came away with was, “Ewwwwww!” [/QUOTE] If they’re so good, why did someone throw it away? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2008, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-advertising-copy-ever/265203/113 "2008-03-21T18:05:53Z")
[QUOTE=rostfrei] If they’re so good, why did someone throw it away? [/QUOTE] What’s a Lady doing going through the thrash for food? ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2008, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-advertising-copy-ever/265203/114 "2008-03-22T00:52:48Z")
[QUOTE=Krokodil] Well, they did segue pretty quickly from “Bob” wanting to keep his wife happy to “Bob” chasing strange at swinger parties… [/QUOTE] “chasing strange”? Is that a new kind of idiom, like “meeting cute”? Or did you a word out somewhere? ---
**Author:** ![Max\_the\_Immortal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Max\_the\_Immortal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_the_Immortal)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2008, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-advertising-copy-ever/265203/115 "2008-03-22T02:10:00Z")
[QUOTE=Jragon] And of course, the old M&M commercials: ![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/1IoOpLqHnko/maxresdefault.jpg)https://www.youtube.com/embed/1IoOpLqHnko?feature=oembed&wmode=opaque Instead of giving me images of delicious candy it brings to mind: The pied piper “Strangers with Candy” lectures and Willy Wonka All in one, and two of those are rather counterintuitive to selling your product. And: [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/Jwb9W51j7fo/hqdefault.jpg "Old McDonalds Advert") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jwb9W51j7fo) Seriously… no, just… no. [/QUOTE] [QUOTE=iftheresaway] Oh man, no one’s mentioned one that gets me every time I see it: Pepto Bismol came out with a new children’s version, and the tagline they chose was “Children’s Pink: It does more than you think.” Seriously? Did no one at the advertising firm raise their hand and go, “Um… guys? That might come across badly.” [/QUOTE] I laughed so hard that I can’t possibly avoid going to hell now. The shot of the M&Ms guy skipping along _arm in arm with a cop_ is absolutely priceless. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2008, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-advertising-copy-ever/265203/116 "2008-03-22T03:38:43Z")
[QUOTE=Jragon] And: [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/Jwb9W51j7fo/hqdefault.jpg "Old McDonalds Advert") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jwb9W51j7fo) Seriously… no, just… no. [/QUOTE] :eek: I need a new brain now. ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2008, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-advertising-copy-ever/265203/117 "2008-03-22T05:22:49Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally Posted by Jragon > And: > [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jwb9...e\_15979\_p2.html](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jwb9...e_15979_p2.html) > > Seriously… no, just… no. [QUOTE=SpazCat] :eek: I need a new brain now. [/QUOTE] As a side bar, did anybody notice how different the McDonalds food looks in that early 60’s ad than it does in the ads today? For one thing, the hamburger shown is small and has its bun is sqashed flat. Apparently McDonalds wasn’t aware of the tricks commercial directors and photographers use to make food look more attractive under bright lights back then. It certainly doesn’t look anything like the lovingly-prepared-for-the-camera double cheeseburger depicted in this recent [“unintentional” bit of food porn](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/0/06/Mcdonalds_Id_hit_it_ad.jpg) promoting McDonalds Dollar Menu. Also, I saw that the french fries were thicker cut and looked like they had bits of potato peel on them. ---
**Author:** ![Caractacus\_Pott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@Caractacus\_Pott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caractacus_Pott)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2008, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-advertising-copy-ever/265203/118 "2008-03-22T18:03:54Z")
How about those annoying anti-smoking ads? “The Truth” I don’t smoke, had a parent die from smoking-relelated cancer, yet those commercials made me want to light up a cigarette in spite. I’m apparently not the only one; [teens, the target group](http://alanbock.blogspot.com/2007/07/anti-smoking-ads-backfire.html), had higher rates of smoking. I’m going to nominate “Apply directly to forehead.” I only saw it once or twice on YouTube, but that was more than plenty. Besides, someone else already got my recent peeve: Carl’s Junior with the guy eating a chili burger who instead looks like he’s been bobbing for apples in a Diaper Genie. Yuck! ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2008, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-advertising-copy-ever/265203/119 "2008-03-22T23:16:06Z")
Ok… I’m sitting here with a copy of ‘‘UFO & Outer Space’’ comic book, 1979. Inside cover: We have Thor. The lightning is taking over the sky, or something. Thor booms, ‘‘Will the lightning turn on its master? I say nay! The mystic hammer Mjolnir shall deflect they power!’’ _Thor jumps in the air waving his mighty hammer, lightning streams down from the sky, illuminating his rippling muscles._ Some guy in an ugly tie: ‘‘They laughed at my plans to control the weather. I shall get my revenge!’’ Thor: ‘‘No… thou shall get thy just _desserts_…’’ Ugly tie villian: ‘‘HOSTESS ™ Twinkie cakes! Delicious!’’ Mighty Thor: ‘‘No mere mortal can resist these golden sponge cakes nor tempting creamed filling!’’ My favorite bad bit of amateur advertising was a handwritten sign in my neighborhood reading ‘‘YARD SALE–CHEAP! FRIEND DIED.’’ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-advertising-copy-ever/265203.md?page=5)