# What's the worst legal advice you've ever heard? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 6, 2017, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-legal-advice-youve-ever-heard/783932 "2017-04-06T21:51:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![edwardcoast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cab0a1/32.png) [@edwardcoast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edwardcoast)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2017, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-legal-advice-youve-ever-heard/783932/21 "2017-04-08T11:44:43Z")
The worst _legal_ advice I’ve heard which I continue to see posted on the internet and overheard in restaurants is “You can’t be sued for that”, or “That won’t hold up in court”. As if either of those two situations will be remedied at no cost and within seconds. ---
**Author:** ![edwardcoast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cab0a1/32.png) [@edwardcoast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edwardcoast)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2017, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-legal-advice-youve-ever-heard/783932/22 "2017-04-08T11:49:02Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > “You need a lawyer for that” > > Worst advice ---- ever and always. I think you mean, “You **don’t** need a lawyer for that” ---
**Author:** ![edwardcoast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cab0a1/32.png) [@edwardcoast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edwardcoast)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2017, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-legal-advice-youve-ever-heard/783932/23 "2017-04-08T11:51:07Z")
> [@Asuka](#): > > I had a friend who broke up with his girlfriend and she proceeded to write a 6 page “legal document” explaining that he couldn’t go after her for future debts and anything that was still in her house at time of break-up wasnow her property. In addition he couldn’t contact her at all and even being within 100 feet of her was grounds for arrest (since they went to the same college this would be a problem). Then she put it in a fancy binder, signed it, and got it notorized before handing it to him. She wasn’t a law student and there was numerous misspellings and completely random bullet points (He kept the cat but had to rename it since **she owned the copyright on the cat’s name** since she named it), he would show it to people on campus and everyone had a good laugh over it. Don’t know if anything else actually happened with it. How does someone copyright a cat’s name? ---
**Author:** ![Alley\_Dweller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alley_dweller/32/430_2.png) [@Alley\_Dweller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alley_Dweller)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2017, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-legal-advice-youve-ever-heard/783932/24 "2017-04-08T12:28:38Z")
> [@edwardcoast](#): > > How does someone copyright a cat’s name? If the cat’s name were an unpronounceable image, like when the late Prince was known as “[the artist formerly known as Prince](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/a/af/Prince_logo.svg/870px-Prince_logo.svg.png),” the image could possibly be copyrighted if it were creative and original enough. ---
**Author:** ![ZonexandScout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zonexandscout/32/544_2.png) [@ZonexandScout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZonexandScout)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2017, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-legal-advice-youve-ever-heard/783932/25 "2017-04-08T13:40:36Z")
I’m going to be deliberately vague here, for obvious reasons. A relative of mine was arrested for murder. The evidence was, quite frankly, really crappy and totally circumstantial. His (very expensive) defense attorney told him, “We’re not going to present a defense case or call any witnesses because the evidence the prosecution will present is entirely circumstantial and unconvincing. They can’t possibly convict you. And I don’t want you to testify at all.” You guessed it. He was convicted of first-degree murder and sentenced to life. MANY years later, his case was reviewed and he was exonerated. He never did get his $50K back from the attorney… ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2017, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-legal-advice-youve-ever-heard/783932/26 "2017-04-08T14:04:13Z")
> [@Unabashed\_Fascist](#): > > “Ask if he’s a cop. He has to tell you if you ask.” > > That is a load of bullhockey. I bet the police love that myth though. My nephew was one of several passengers in a car that was pulled over for a minor infraction. The cop had all the passengers (all 17ish year olds) get out and stand alongside the car. He told them if they voluntarily gave up any contraband he’d ignore it. My nephew had a gram of weed in his pocket. He showed it to the cop. BUSTED!! The kid was gobsmacked. He took the cop at his word. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2017, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-legal-advice-youve-ever-heard/783932/27 "2017-04-08T18:16:38Z")
To be sure, this should be in a crazy religious nuts thread, but when my aunt was selling her house, the buyer screwed her over. She was selling it herself and carrying the mortgage rather than the buyer going through a bank. The buyer told her one thing but gave her a contract that said something else. Rather than go to an attorney, the aunt _prayed_ about it and got confirmation from God that it was OK. Believe me, God is not a good attorney. She finally did have to go through a human attorney who did prevail, but wasted a lot of time and money. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2017, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-legal-advice-youve-ever-heard/783932/28 "2017-04-08T18:22:49Z")
Joe Biden’s advice to fire warning shots. Several people have been arrested for following that bit of stupidity. ---
**Author:** ![drewder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/57b2e6/32.png) [@drewder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewder)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2017, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-legal-advice-youve-ever-heard/783932/29 "2017-04-08T19:33:01Z")
> [@Tranquilis](#): > > “Drag the body back inside.” > > NEVER monkey with a crime scene, no matter who tells you to do so - you WILL get caught, and it WILL look _very_ bad. I was going to post the same thing. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2017, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-legal-advice-youve-ever-heard/783932/30 "2017-04-08T19:42:38Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > The kid was gobsmacked. He took the cop at his word. So P.T. Barnum was right. Although that’s probably not a valid quote. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2017, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-legal-advice-youve-ever-heard/783932/31 "2017-04-08T20:01:39Z")
A friend sold her house to hire an expensive attorney who promised he could get her husband out of prison. Her husband was definitely 100% beyond a shadow of any doubt guilty, but she did it anyway. He’s still in prison, and she’s out big bucks. And a friend who was told “Let your son see his father. A boy needs his father.” Yes, but not when he’s the victim of a murder/suicide by his father. ---
**Author:** ![edwardcoast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cab0a1/32.png) [@edwardcoast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edwardcoast)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2017, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-legal-advice-youve-ever-heard/783932/32 "2017-04-09T05:30:04Z")
> [@Alley\_Dweller](#): > > If the cat’s name were an unpronounceable image, like when the late Prince was known as “[the artist formerly known as Prince](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/a/af/Prince_logo.svg/870px-Prince_logo.svg.png),” the image could possibly be copyrighted if it were creative and original enough. That sounds like trademark, such as a logo for a company. If I trademark my name, that doesn’t mean someone can’t name their cat by the same name. They just can’t do business using that name. ---
**Author:** ![edwardcoast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cab0a1/32.png) [@edwardcoast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edwardcoast)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2017, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-legal-advice-youve-ever-heard/783932/33 "2017-04-09T05:34:36Z")
> [@ZonexandScout](#): > > I’m going to be deliberately vague here, for obvious reasons. > > A relative of mine was arrested for murder. The evidence was, quite frankly, really crappy and totally circumstantial. His (very expensive) defense attorney told him, “We’re not going to present a defense case or call any witnesses because the evidence the prosecution will present is entirely circumstantial and unconvincing. They can’t possibly convict you. And I don’t want you to testify at all.” > > You guessed it. He was convicted of first-degree murder and sentenced to life. > > MANY years later, his case was reviewed and he was exonerated. > > He never did get his $50K back from the attorney… It sounds very unfortunate, but it is difficult to know if a change in strategy would have made a difference in the outcome. When I think of the OJ Simpson murder trial, from the start everyone thought he was going to be found guilty. Even the news reporter said when the police finally caught up with Simpson, they indicated we should be expecting a confession. The defense strategy worked and as shocking as it was, he was found not guilty. I’m glad your relative was exonerated. ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2017, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-legal-advice-youve-ever-heard/783932/34 "2017-04-10T18:15:20Z")
> [@Projammer](#): > > Joe Biden’s advice to fire warning shots. Several people have been arrested for following that bit of stupidity. Yeah. Horrible advice. In Delaware, we love our Uncle Joe,\* but he’s got exatly _zero_ business talking about firearms. \*(He’s a bit dotty, but he’s also warm and fuzzy) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-legal-advice-youve-ever-heard/783932.md?page=1)