# What's the worst movie you ever saw? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 24, 2018, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-movie-you-ever-saw/813008 "2018-04-24T01:15:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 15
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2018, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-movie-you-ever-saw/813008/281 "2018-04-29T01:17:15Z")
> [@TreacherousCretin](#): > > Yeah, but what a great monster at the end. IIRC it was a silhouette of a crayfish. So somebody else on this board knows this awful flick?šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2018, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-movie-you-ever-saw/813008/282 "2018-04-29T05:40:54Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > So somebody else on this board knows this awful flick?šŸ˜ƒ God, yes. I was about eleven when I saw it on TV. Early 60ā€™s. I enjoyed it although even idiot kid Moi was disappointed with the pathetic monster at the end. I tried to watch it a second time just a few years ago on a whim - it was cringe-inducing. ---
**Author:** ![Some\_Call\_Me.Tim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Some\_Call\_Me.Tim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Some_Call_Me.Tim)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2018, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-movie-you-ever-saw/813008/283 "2018-04-29T14:26:46Z")
Let me add to the chorus of Highlander 2 nominations, at least within the expectation breaking subcategory. I went to it on opening night with a group of fans of the first movie. We were so, so disappointed. Uniformly we hated it, in a group of ten or so. We had an argument about whether the writer had seen the first one, and decided that he had to have done so- it was unlikely he could have gotten absolutely everything exactly wrong by chance. The Phantom Menace had some of the same elements of getting fundamental plot points wrong (The Force is all about midichlorians! Jedi are evil child abusers!) but those could arguably be just bad plot developments/reveals rather than wholesale contradiction of prior art. I ended up more sad than angry. ---
**Author:** ![Lebowskii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e19b73/32.png) [@Lebowskii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lebowskii)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2018, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-movie-you-ever-saw/813008/284 "2018-04-29T14:42:04Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > We hope you will abiide. Thanks to you and EC Geek. I should be able to abiide as long as you keep those Whiite Russiians comingā€¦ šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![Lebowskii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e19b73/32.png) [@Lebowskii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lebowskii)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2018, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-movie-you-ever-saw/813008/285 "2018-04-29T16:13:45Z")
I thought of another one. Has anyone mentioned Cabin Boy yet? Chris Elliott made dozens of appearances on Letterman but, as Dave mentioned once, he had never appeared in an actual movie so Chris put him in a 2 minute segment of his idiotic Cabin Boy movie. Hereā€™s a link to the Letterman scene in case you missed itā€¦ [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/hPGSLiLm43E/hqdefault.jpg "sidewalk scene cabin boy") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hPGSLiLm43E) ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2018, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-movie-you-ever-saw/813008/286 "2018-04-29T17:29:11Z")
> [@TheMysteryWriter](#): > > Good points. Iā€™ll have to rewatch it one of these days. > I love Jurassic Park and all the sequels, too, but only cos I enjoy watching dinos eat people. Iā€™ve said it before and will again; the ONLY problem with Jurassic Park is the dinosaurs didnā€™t eat enough people. Consider: John Hammond (Richard Attenborough) should obviously have been devoured. In fact, he kind of vanishes for most of the movieā€™s third act, only to appear at the helicopter. Clearly, a wasted opportunity for someone to be eaten, and there would have been some poetic justice in it, though weā€™d have lost his cool line ā€œSo have I.ā€ Dr. Wu (BD Wong) clearly should have been eaten. The character was eaten in the book. BD Wong is a good actor, deserved more than one scene, and he could totally pull off the screams of a man being turned into dinosaur chow. Why was he not eaten? ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2018, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-movie-you-ever-saw/813008/287 "2018-04-29T17:35:11Z")
As to the OP, I stand by what I wrote many years ago, on this very message board: "ā€˜Highlander IIā€™ attains, if thatā€™s the right word, a nadir of suckitude that, prior to seeing it, I would not have imagined possible. Actually, COULDNā€™T have imagined possible; the level of its putridness went beyond the conceivable parameters of cinema suckosity, and its suckitude seeped into all that surrounded it. It made other movies showing at the multiplex at the same time worse than they otherwise would have been, just by its proximity. It made me a worse person for having watched it. It despoiled the very money with which I paid for the horror of seeing it, currency that I am sure was eternally cursed by association, and which doubtlessly brought misfortune and suffering to all who handled it from that day forward. As a matter of fact, the multiplex it was shown it ended up going out of business, the only modern multiplex Iā€™ve ever heard of that did that. Coincidence? Not a chance, Vance. ā€œHighlander IIā€ was like a infectious disease, an E. cinema, a sort of supernatural rot. It hurt the soul. It made the baby Jesus cry. It made the babies Buddha, Mohammed, and Cthlulu cry. The very force of its suckness was beyond the measuring capacity of any scientific instrument designed by man. I could explain why it sucked, but really, there isnā€™t enough time in my life to do so. Every scene, every word, every shot, ever single frame sucked, but more than sucking individually, they combined in sucking ways to attain a perfect synchronicity of suck. I canā€™t describe how bad it was; there arenā€™t words that would do the job. I would tell you that you should watch it to see how bad it was, but no, you really shouldnā€™t. I donā€™t hate anyone that much." ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Bill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Mr.Bill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Bill)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2018, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-movie-you-ever-saw/813008/288 "2018-04-29T19:36:09Z")
I have another nomination. Many years ago, my siblings and I, gathered at our parents home for a holiday, rented Popeye, starring Robin Williams and Shelley Duvall. We thought it would be a fun movie, but we turned it off in favor of a card game after about a 1/2 hour. I donā€™t remember exactly why it sucked so bad, other than everybody was overacting horribly and the story seemed stupid. Iā€™ve enjoyed Robin Williamsā€™ work in other movies, particularly The Fisher King and One Hour Photo, but Popeye was about the worst thing he ever did. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2018, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-movie-you-ever-saw/813008/289 "2018-04-29T19:43:14Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > I would tell you that you should watch it to see how bad it was, but no, you really shouldnā€™t. I donā€™t hate anyone that much." Not even Trump?šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![by-tor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/by-tor/32/266_2.png) [@by-tor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/by-tor)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2018, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-movie-you-ever-saw/813008/290 "2018-04-29T21:26:19Z")
Alien Resurrection is the worst movie I ever saw. I so wish I had walked out instead of watching it. It is disgusting and bad and disgustingly bad in many, many ways. ---
**Author:** ![Bijou\_Drains](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bijou_drains/32/2814_2.png) [@Bijou\_Drains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bijou_Drains)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2018, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-movie-you-ever-saw/813008/291 "2018-04-29T21:45:15Z")
Howard the Duck was another big stinker ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2018, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-movie-you-ever-saw/813008/292 "2018-04-29T23:02:27Z")
> [@CelticKnot](#): > > I have to reassess. Perhaps the worst thing about _Joe Vs. the Volcano_ may be the people who tell me they loved it and I must be an idiot because I just didnā€™t get it. Like I said, by no means was it great but it had moments. You can also see the actor that was to become the great Tom Hanks developing. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2018, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-movie-you-ever-saw/813008/293 "2018-04-30T03:17:37Z")
You want to lose 18 minutes of your time? Here you goā€¦ [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/z240a1-nZy8/hqdefault.jpg "Abe's Question sci-fi long trailer 5 /19/ 16") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z240a1-nZy8) (SFW, but may put you to sleep at your desk) ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2018, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-movie-you-ever-saw/813008/294 "2018-04-30T05:19:02Z")
> [@Lebowskii](#): > > I thought of another one. Has anyone mentioned Cabin Boy yet?.. It really was a terrible movie, but it did give us one of the greatest lines of Western cinema: ā€œYouā€™ve been like the drunken, abusive grandfather I never had.ā€ > [@RickJay](#): > > As to the OP, I stand by what I wrote many years ago, on this very message board: > > "ā€˜Highlander IIā€™ attains, if thatā€™s the right word, a nadir of suckitude that, prior to seeing it, I would not have imagined possible. Actually, COULDNā€™T have imagined possible; the level of its putridness went beyond the conceivable parameters of cinema suckosity, and its suckitude seeped into all that surrounded it. It made other movies showing at the multiplex at the same time worse than they otherwise would have been, just by its proximity. It made me a worse person for having watched it. It despoiled the very money with which I paid for the horror of seeing it, currency that I am sure was eternally cursed by association, and which doubtlessly brought misfortune and suffering to all who handled it from that day forward. > > As a matter of fact, the multiplex it was shown it ended up going out of business, the only modern multiplex Iā€™ve ever heard of that did that. Coincidence? Not a chance, Vance. ā€œHighlander IIā€ was like a infectious disease, an E. cinema, a sort of supernatural rot. It hurt the soul. It made the baby Jesus cry. It made the babies Buddha, Mohammed, and Cthlulu [sic] cry. The very force of its suckness was beyond the measuring capacity of any scientific instrument designed by man. > > I could explain why it sucked, but really, there isnā€™t enough time in my life to do so. Every scene, every word, every shot, ever single frame sucked, but more than sucking individually, they combined in sucking ways to attain a perfect synchronicity of suck. I canā€™t describe how bad it was; there arenā€™t words that would do the job. I would tell you that you should watch it to see how bad it was, but no, you really shouldnā€™t. I donā€™t hate anyone that much." :: Golf clap :: ---
**Author:** ![Asuka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dec6dc/32.png) [@Asuka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asuka)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2018, 9:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-movie-you-ever-saw/813008/295 "2018-04-30T09:02:09Z")
**White House Down** is probably the only movie I got legitimately angry a third of the way through the movie and left the theater to get my money back. Wound up eventually watching it for free on NetFlix and its somehow even worse later on. Basically there were two White House Under Attack movies that same summer, _Olympus Has Fallen_ came first with Gerard Butler. It was an incredibly dumb but still enjoyable serious action flick that made the most of its premise with great action and set-pieces. The problem with \*White House Down \* was that it had no idea what it wanted to be. In theory itā€™s suppose to be an action-comedy with Channing Tatum and Jamie Fox but the tone was completely uneven and all over the place. The comic relief in the film almost feels like it was an after-thought that they threw in when they realized Olympus Has Fallen was going full serious with its premise. What actually made me angry about the movie is that itā€™s one of those movies where the film could have literally ended 4 different times early into the movie if any of the characters had a brain or even acted like a real person would act. The entire film only progresses because the main characters make the dumbest decisions over and over again. The scene that made me leave was when the Presidential Limo is being chased by terrorists driving armed trucks across the White House lawn in full view of hundreds of assembled police and soldiers. At no point does anybody on the police/military decide to assist despite the fact thereā€™s literally nothing stopping them from assisting and the Presidential Limo is just doing donuts on the front lawn while terrorists in trucks are constantly shooting at it. Thereā€™s also the fact Channing Tatum whoā€™s driving the limo with the President in the backseat doesnā€™t actually attempt to reach the line of military soldiers who are literally just dozens of yards away from him. Instead he actually drives BACK to where more terrorists are for whatever reason. If the main character wasnā€™t going to bother trying to save himself I decided right then and there I wouldnā€™t bother to watch it. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2018, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-movie-you-ever-saw/813008/296 "2018-04-30T12:36:56Z")
I love me some Bad Movies, but they have to be bad enough to be Bad. They canā€™t just be bad. _Brother Bear_ is bad, and not Bad. Dull, formulaic, and with the gripping interest of a hair cut. Itā€™s not even bad enough to be fun to mock, and it seems almost unfair to try. Like making fun of the guy who finishes seventh in the Special Olympics. Like Roger Ebert said, a movie which is not better than an hour and a half of blank screen. I believe there was a sequel, but I am not that much of an optimist, or masochist. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2018, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-movie-you-ever-saw/813008/297 "2018-04-30T18:21:31Z")
> [@Cuckoorex](#): > > Most recently, and perhaps not the ABSOLUTE worst Iā€™ve ever seen: Under The Skin. The filmmakers did something extraordinary; they made a sci-fi horror film starring Scarlett Johannsen frequently getting naked and killing people and managed to make it boring as hell. Painful. Itā€™s like they took two hours of B-Roll and decided to make it the movie. Hereā€™s Scarjo staring at herself in a mirror, expressionless, for an uncomfortably long time. Hereā€™s a long shot of the interior of a car that Scarjo just got out of. Nothing is happening. Hereā€™s Scarjo walking along the street, nothing happening, for about five minutes. This story could have been told in a twenty minute short film. Gah. Negative stars. What really angered me about this film is what a horrible job they did of ā€œadaptingā€ Michel Faberā€™s novel, which was beautifully written, lyrical, sometimes heartbreaking, sometimes humorous, and at times stomach-churning, with a strongly ironic and satirical look at the way we treat animals we end up eating. (The humans abducted in the film are to be used for aliensā€™ food.) In the book, the alien womanā€™s name is Isserley, her species walks on four legs, and she had to be surgically altered to pass for human, although she suffers a lot of pain as a result and is not attractive. And did any of this make it into the film version? Nope. Not one bit. And I am still pissed about it. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2018, 9:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-movie-you-ever-saw/813008/298 "2018-05-01T09:14:34Z")
Last night my daughter dialled up ā€œThe Gadget Gang in Outer Spaceā€, and it became an immediate candidate for this thread. The animation is terrible, the plot is stupid, the humor is feeble and some of the characters are kinda racist (bucktoothed bespectacled Asian kid, Iā€™m looking at you in particular). Imagine the Jimmy Neutron movie with a tenth of the budget, creativity and skill and youā€™d get this. Weirdly, the reviews arenā€™t that bad. I can only assume this was on the basis on ā€œIt kept my child diverted for an hour and a half so itā€™s all goodā€. ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2018, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-movie-you-ever-saw/813008/299 "2018-05-01T15:05:20Z")
This movie might have some love here, but the only movie I walked out on was ā€œDead Men Donā€™t Wear Plaidā€. Hated it. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2018, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-movie-you-ever-saw/813008/300 "2018-05-01T15:37:59Z")
> [@notfrommensa](#): > > This movie might have some love here, but the only movie I walked out on was ā€œDead Men Donā€™t Wear Plaidā€. Hated it. Loved it. So there. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-movie-you-ever-saw/813008.md?page=14) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-movie-you-ever-saw/813008.md?page=16)