# What's the worst movie you have ever seen? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 19, 2002, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-movie-you-have-ever-seen/109872 "2002-05-19T23:33:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Dieter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/977dab/32.png) [@Dieter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dieter)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-movie-you-have-ever-seen/109872/81 "2002-05-21T06:13:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Morgainelf \* > \*\*And we recently rented _Rock Star_. Jennifer Aniston piercing Marky Mark’s nipple? ICK! Turned it off after 1/2 hour. \*\* Oh man. I forgot about that one. Very few movies make me want to bitch slap the lead role as much as that one. ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Tan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/charlie_tan/32/12582_2.png) [@Charlie\_Tan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Tan)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-movie-you-have-ever-seen/109872/82 "2002-05-21T07:38:23Z")
Probably the very worst of them all, considering able actors, is: **The Avengers** What was Connery thinking? At the screening I saw, half of the audience walked out. I’ve been to movies where one or two guys left, but half? As fairly new here, I keep seeeing _MST3k_. I know I’m gonna feel really stupid, but what is that? ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-movie-you-have-ever-seen/109872/83 "2002-05-21T11:55:46Z")
> [@](#): > > As fairly new here, I keep seeeing MST3k. I know I’m gonna feel really stupid, but what is that? Mystery Science Theater 3000, a show that ran on local Minnesota TV, then on Comedy Central, then on the Sci Fi Channel. Priceless commenting on bad films. Many available on videotape and DVD. They’ve shown more than their share of “worst films”, including the oft-cited **Manos, the Hands of Fate** ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-movie-you-have-ever-seen/109872/84 "2002-05-21T13:33:47Z")
Dammit! I _liked_ **Freddy Got Fingered**. I don’t know who Tom Greene or whatever his name is, never seen his work before, but I thought this was one of the most disturbing, anarchic, just plain bizarre comedies I have seen in a long time. Sure, some scenes lasted just a bit too long, and it was over-the-top moronic, but that was the whole point. I’m not gonna say it was a work of genius, but I certainly think it’s far better than most critics (with the notable exception of the NYT guy, who liked it) thought. Anyhow, the worst movie I paid to see was **Rollerball**. Don’t ask me why I paid to see it. I guess I was in one of my “I want to see a stupid movie” moods. Boy, did I get what I wished for. This movie completely lacked the interest of the original, not that there was any need to redo it. The whole point of the movie was substantially different than the original, and the pointless scene to the Kazakhstan-Russian border I just didn’t get. For those of you who haven’t seen it (count your blessings), there’s a race-to-the-border/freedom scene in the middle of the movie. For some reason, our heroes assume that just arriving at the border will guarantee their passage. Umm…no. The border guards can turn you back, ya know. Of course, that would lack the requisite Hollywood spectacle, and the need for an adreneline-lacking chase scene. Yuck. Although the remake of **Planet of the Apes** also ranks high on my suckage list. ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-movie-you-have-ever-seen/109872/85 "2002-05-21T13:38:35Z")
**Drop Dead Fred** In the right movie, Rik Mayall would be amazing. Unfortunately he made this film instead. ---
**Author:** ![rynn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b3f665/32.png) [@rynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rynn)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-movie-you-have-ever-seen/109872/86 "2002-05-21T15:48:35Z")
Driven. Sly Stallone. Gak. ---
**Author:** ![Osbie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/cdc98d/32.png) [@Osbie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Osbie)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-movie-you-have-ever-seen/109872/87 "2002-05-21T19:43:33Z")
Here’s my short list: **All That Jazz** - the dancing was good, but everything else sucked. They butchered the song _Bye Bye Love_. **Dog Star Man** - a experimental film that displayed the filmmaker’s ability to splice together stock footage. **Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band** - let’s watch the Bee Gees emote. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-movie-you-have-ever-seen/109872/88 "2002-05-21T21:32:10Z")
Ok if we’re allowed to use things that have been on MST3k, I nominate \*\* Creeping Terror\*\*. This film was so bad that when they lost the audio reel, they just threw on a bad narrator. The monster is a rug with trash glued to it and when it eats people, they have to help climb into its mouth. There is no worse movie. ---
**Author:** ![tanstaafl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba8739/32.png) [@tanstaafl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tanstaafl)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-movie-you-have-ever-seen/109872/89 "2002-05-21T21:41:42Z")
> [@](#): > > Let Mr. Cranky have the last word… I just discovered that access to Mr. Cranky has been blocked at our site. I’m trying to figure out what there set the filter off. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-movie-you-have-ever-seen/109872/90 "2002-05-21T21:45:31Z")
There are many kinds of bad movies, but the worst are the bad comedies. A bad drama, horror flick or romance may be unintentionally funny, but a bad comedy just festers. There are no pleasures in a bad comedy, just a lot of irritants. So, the worst movies on my list are all would-be comedies. #1 stinker of all time? “Mr. Mike’s Mondo Video,” by “Saturday Night Live” alumnus Michael O’Donoghue. I still remember going to the box office window, handing over my money, and hearing two words I’d NEVER heard at a movie theater, before or since: “No refunds.” “No refunds.” I SHOULD have taken the hint, just waved good-bye to my money, and gone home, but I was foolish enough to go inside and watch the movie. Folks, just by accident, this movie should have made SOMEBODY in the audience laugh ONCE. But it didn’t. This movie wasn’t just unfunny. it was staggeringly, incomprehensibly unfunny. There was nothing but stunned silence from the audience, punctuated every ten minutes by a scream of “this movie SUCKS!” Some scattered applause of the heckler would follow, and then ten more minutes of stunned silence. The other worst? 1. “Caddyshack 2” 2. “The Nude Bomb” (Maxwell Smart) 3. “Modern Problems” with Chevy Chase 4. “The Song Remains the Same” (I loved Led Zeppelin, but this movie was torture! Plant’s voice was way off key, Bonham did a stultifyingly boring 15 minute drum solo, and the songs were separated by stupid “fantasy” segments") ---
**Author:** ![medstar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f07891/32.png) [@medstar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/medstar)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-movie-you-have-ever-seen/109872/91 "2002-05-21T22:57:22Z")
Astorian, “Mr. Mike’s Mondo Video” is also my pick for the worst movie I’ve ever seen. I saw it with my brother and we both thought we were going to see skits that were too much even for Saturday Night Live. We sat through the whole movie and just checked our watches every 10 minutes, cause we were too cheap to just walk out. And I have very low standards for enjoying movies. I even liked Armageddon, Unbreakable and Star Trek V. Another movie I just thought of would be “Megaforce”, starring Barry Bostwick in a skintight lame`catsuit. ---
**Author:** ![medstar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f07891/32.png) [@medstar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/medstar)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-movie-you-have-ever-seen/109872/92 "2002-05-21T23:02:51Z")
Astorian, “Mr. Mike’s Mondo Video” is also my pick for the worst movie I’ve ever seen. I saw it with my brother and we both thought we were going to see skits that were too much even for Saturday Night Live. We sat through the whole movie and just checked our watches every 10 minutes, cause we were too cheap to just walk out. And I have very low standards for enjoying movies. I even liked Armageddon, Unbreakable and Star Trek V. Another movie I just thought of would be “Megaforce”, starring Barry Bostwick and Michael Beck in skintight lame`catsuits and matching headbands, if I recall correctly. I thought they looked great, but nowadays, they’re probably sorry they did the movie. ---
**Author:** ![RadioWave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/91b2a8/32.png) [@RadioWave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RadioWave)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2002, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-movie-you-have-ever-seen/109872/93 "2002-05-22T01:45:38Z")
> [@](#): > > The Attack of the Eye Creatures Wasn’t that The Attack of the _the_ Creatures;)THEY SIMPLY DIDN’T CARE. RoadHouse. What other movie uses lines like “It’s my way or the Highway”? ---
**Author:** ![RadioWave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/91b2a8/32.png) [@RadioWave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RadioWave)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2002, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-movie-you-have-ever-seen/109872/94 "2002-05-22T01:47:17Z")
Dagnabbit. That should be “The Attack of the _the_ Eye Creatures” or the post doesn’t make sense. The movie was so bad, they screwed up the title and didn’t evey bother to fix it. ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2002, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-movie-you-have-ever-seen/109872/95 "2002-05-22T02:32:20Z")
I have one that I bet you’ve only neglected to mention because you’ve never seen it. It’s a horribly made foreign piece of tripe called _Last Train to Venice_ starring Hugh Grant and Malcom McDowell. I am not exaggerating when I say this movie is so bad that it’s as if the _Manos: Hands of Fate_ people somehow made a mystery/thriller. It also prominently features Dobermans to represent **EEEEEVILLLL** (in this case, Neo-Nazis…in fact, I think we’re meant to believe that the Neo-Nazis somehow BECOME dogs.) This movie also features the single most horrible scene ever put to film: Through the last half of the movie the Hugh Grant character is, for lack of a better word, “depressed” and listless. He’s having a cup of coffee at a cafe across the stream from the apartment where he lives with his lover. (Oh yeah, this movie features the worst sex-scenes ever; mainly dimly lit scenes of Hugh’s pimply, mole-riddled, pasty back wriggling around.) Anyways, the lover comes over to berate him about his ongoing depression and he looks across the stream to see his lover’s daughter climb out on a balcony and attempt to scale along the roof to pet a bird or something. Hugh Grant leaps to his feet, runs to the footbridge where two workers JUST HAPPEN to be carrying a huge pane of glass, and he _breaks through_ the pane and rushes to catch the girl as she falls off the roof. Of course everything is fine and dandy after his _break through_. (Cause, see. By _breaking through_ the glass, he _broke through_ his depression! SEE?!?!) Wow, it’s bad. It’s so bad it hurts. My husband couldn’t even finish watching it, and his favorite movie is _Mother, Juggs, and Speed_. (Another all-time worst movie.) IMDB link here: [http://us.imdb.com/Title?0107683](http://us.imdb.com/Title?0107683) (Egads! Apparently you can actually watch a trailer of this piece of crap!) I’m with you all the way on _Nothing but Trouble_ and _Caddyshack II_. (If there are any other movies ever made with Jackie Mason in them, they also get my vote sight unseen.) ---
**Author:** ![Angband](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@Angband](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angband)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2002, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-movie-you-have-ever-seen/109872/96 "2002-05-22T03:40:26Z")
Queen of the Damned…is(was) the worst movie ever made, bar-none! IMHO of course 😉 ---
**Author:** ![DoctorJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctorj/32/2904_2.png) [@DoctorJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoctorJ)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2002, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-movie-you-have-ever-seen/109872/97 "2002-05-22T03:53:25Z")
Definitely on my list is _An Awfully Big Adventure_, with Hugh Grant and Alan Rickman. It’s the story of a young, innocent girl who gets into a relationship with an older man who turns out to be her father. When that point is revealed (sorry to ruin it for you), you are less surprised by the plot twist than you are relieved to see any plot at all. The movie has one redeeming quality–it centers around a local theatre company that is doing _Peter Pan_, so you get to see Alan Rickman rehearse some scenes as Captain Hook. That was an oasis of cool in a vast desert of suck. Dr. J ---
**Author:** ![Wisp00](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/977dab/32.png) [@Wisp00](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wisp00)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2002, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-movie-you-have-ever-seen/109872/98 "2002-05-22T04:19:52Z")
I’ve seen lot’s of bad movies, but most of them were rentals I had never heard of before, so to restrict it to movies I’ve seen in the theater, here are the two worst. Runner-up - Battlefield Earth. Only reason I made it throught the whole thing was that some parts were soo bad they were “almost” funny. Winner - Primary Colors. The worst, most pointless, completly boring movie I have ever seen. This is the only movie I actually feel asleep watching in the theater. Payed $7.50 to take a nap, but least no one else was in the theater, so it was quiet. And to think, I used to like John Travolta… ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2002, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-movie-you-have-ever-seen/109872/99 "2002-05-22T05:05:00Z")
You guys are bringing back _such_ memories. Hugh Grant in _Legend of the White Worm_. I accidentally saw it on the SciFi Channel one fine Sunday afternoon. _Gas_ with Donald Sutherland. Follow the hijinks of the wacky townspeople as they cope with the gas shortages and lines of 1973. It had the sexpot running a bordello out of her van waiting in line. The crusty old oil company owner and his incompetent buffoon sons trying to hide a stockpile of gasoline in a secret underground tank. The pair of soldiers who are trying to steal some army gasoline and have their own stockpile for the black market. And Donald Sutherland (who was evidently so embarassed to be a part of this abomination that he didn’t appear in a scene with even a single other actor) as the helicopter traffic reporter telling everyone about the gas lines. On the submarine mess deck, this one was referred to as a “four-finger gagger.” But the absolute _worst_ movie I’ve ever subjected my loved ones to was _Black Beauty_, starring (well, “featuring” is more accurate) Mark Lester (who was considered bankable because of _Oliver!_ the year before). ---
**Author:** ![Manatee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/50afbb/32.png) [@Manatee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manatee)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2002, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-movie-you-have-ever-seen/109872/100 "2002-05-22T06:16:50Z")
**Woo** starring (?) Jada Pinkett. \<\< Game Over \>\> [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-movie-you-have-ever-seen/109872.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-movie-you-have-ever-seen/109872.md?page=6)