# What's the worst music in the world? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 7, 2008, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-music-in-the-world/462455 "2008-09-07T05:01:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-music-in-the-world/462455/41 "2008-09-07T18:20:49Z")
The worst is marching band music – that is ANY music played by a marching band. Next comes any music sung or narrated by William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, or any other Star Trek figure. Finally, any music played on a calliope. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-music-in-the-world/462455/42 "2008-09-07T18:23:29Z")
> [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](#): > > My vote would go to modern faux country music. Singing pretend sad songs for the sole purpose of raping the audience just doesn’t do it for me. Plus, silly hats. Yeah, me too. That’s why I mentioned Kenny Rogers first, above all others. I think of today’s mall-country pap as “post-Kenny Rogers” country music. He was the first to really put the pop in the country to the point where there was almost no country left; just bland, bleached-out pop with a manufactured twang. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-music-in-the-world/462455/43 "2008-09-07T18:31:53Z")
I don’t listen to country music but I have to admit that I did hear the Carrie Underwood song “Jesus Take The Wheel” and I just about had an aneurysm. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-music-in-the-world/462455/44 "2008-09-07T18:32:11Z")
Traditional chinese music. Chinese is already a tonal language so in order to have lyrics make any kind of sense you’re left with a jumbled cacophony of pitch and wailing. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-music-in-the-world/462455/45 "2008-09-07T18:34:04Z")
> [@blondebear](#): > > **Any** music turned up loud enough so that I **have** to listen to it. For example: that loud party in the cul-de-sac behind my house the other day, cars next to me at stop lights with their subwoofers cranked up, or a cow-orker playing adult contemporary/smooth jazz all day until I want to smash their radio. > > It’s not that I don’t like loud music, I just don’t like _other people’s_ loud music. When I want to crank it up, I use headphones or head out for a drive on a back road someplace. This pretty much sums it up for me. Other people’s loud music is like other people’s loud sex, with other people’s preferred gender. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-music-in-the-world/462455/46 "2008-09-07T18:38:16Z")
[This.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8SN7JXEfFU&feature=related) [This.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TK06tbNFiEU) [This.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gq5JqZ0Tvp4) [This.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i15ALD6fsUU) [This](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73uHLQDSBYo) [This.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7gMkiOPSeA) [This.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eo1-CWKMhZE) [This.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iug0X6cJDDM&feature=related) [This.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhPk4Vf0D7g&feature=related) ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-music-in-the-world/462455/47 "2008-09-07T18:42:31Z")
> [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](#): > > Hell, I’d _buy_ that! 😃 [Here you go, **Biffy**](http://www.amazon.com/Door-Squeak/dp/B000V9BNTW). Of course you’ll still have to mix in the Ono counterpoint from something in your private collection. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-music-in-the-world/462455/48 "2008-09-07T18:51:50Z")
> [@lissener](#): > > Then of course we get to talking about what’s really the worst music in the world. IMHO, the most grating is the brand of music played in low-end Chinese restaurants, flutes and synth accompanied by very squeaky, high-pitched female vocals. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Gadai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@An\_Gadai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Gadai)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-music-in-the-world/462455/49 "2008-09-07T19:02:46Z")
> [@Lust4Life](#): > > British Rap is pitiful ,many reasonably bright children would be ashamed to admit responsibility for the tripe they come up with. > > I wouldn’t be surprised if they played it to the prisoners in Guantanomo bay in order to get confessions. I’ll defend British rap. Dizzee Rascal, Miss Sovereign, Wiley et al show alot more lyrical ingenuity and have a freshness of style that makes most other music being made in Britain of late a bit :o . It’s not to everyone’s tastes and I doubt it’ll ever become mainstream in the way US rap has but dismissing the whole genre in one fell sweep merely displays your ignorance of it. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-music-in-the-world/462455/50 "2008-09-07T19:34:49Z")
> [@koeeoaddi](#): > > [Here you go, **Biffy**](http://www.amazon.com/Door-Squeak/dp/B000V9BNTW). LOL. I thought it was going to be a link to [this one.](http://www.amazon.com/Pierre-Henry-Variations-soupir-dOrph%C3%A9e/dp/B0000007OY) Which I have. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Bruin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Queen\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Bruin)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-music-in-the-world/462455/51 "2008-09-07T19:35:01Z")
I can’t stand reggaeton. I have a special place in my heart for norteño though. So sue me, I like oompa music of any nationality. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-music-in-the-world/462455/52 "2008-09-07T19:43:55Z")
Ladies and Gentlemen may I present [Wing](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovEASuIqVbY&feature=related). **Warning: click link at your own risk. Your ears may bleed from her voice.** ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-music-in-the-world/462455/53 "2008-09-07T20:02:24Z")
> [@Derleth](#): > > **gaffa** : You mean you honestly can’t appreciate _The Shape of Jazz to Come_? Or _On the Corner_? Or _Selection Sixteen_? Checking YouTube for “The Shape of Jazz to Come”, I found [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDmi3_3gEJ). And yes, that is exactly the painful sort of stuff I was describing. The two horns are discordant, the drums and bass seem to have no connection to the rest of the music - it sounds like a bunch of people soloing, who occasionally manage to hit the same melody. I presume you mean Miles Davis’ “On The Corner” and found [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFUhV_ciNQg) - the sort of musical jerk-off that makes me want to claw my own ears off. For the life of me, the trumpet part in that clip sounds like noises any random person could make if they picked it up. If it makes you feel better, I also believe Jackson Pollack was an asshole who dribbled paint. > [@](#): > > Anyway, you are factually incorrect: There are plenty of us who care about chops and complex music not in the service of a simplistic song. I’m not sure I understand what you mean here. As much as I loath doodly jazz that destroys an innocent song, the only thing worse is doodly jazz that doesn’t even have a song to cling to. ---
**Author:** ![BlackFish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/71e660/32.png) [@BlackFish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackFish)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-music-in-the-world/462455/54 "2008-09-07T20:36:53Z")
Sorry, first reply ever to a fora, I would like to nominate r’kelly- i believe i can fly- ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-music-in-the-world/462455/55 "2008-09-07T20:42:55Z")
There’s a “special” place in my heart for that jazz style where everyone’s playing in their own key, the piano player is banging randomly on the keyboard with his fists, and the horn player is trying to expel a small rodent from his instrument. For some reason I seem to associate this kind of thing with Sun Ra, but I may have been mistaking it for someone else’s crap. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-music-in-the-world/462455/56 "2008-09-07T20:51:43Z")
> [@Johnny\_Q](#): > > There’s a “special” place in my heart for that jazz style where everyone’s playing in their own key, the piano player is banging randomly on the keyboard with his fists, and the horn player is trying to expel a small rodent from his instrument. Wonderfully evocative phrase, thanks! ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2008, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-music-in-the-world/462455/57 "2008-09-07T21:08:52Z")
A few more: - Low bass boom-boom music that was composed specifically to be played in cars with loud stereos. - Smooth jazz. It all sounds alike, not in the way that the elderly think “that roll and rocking music all sounds alike, now get off my lawn!”, but rather that every song really does sound like an excerpt of the same long composition, and every performer has the same style. It’s music for yuppies to make sweet love in elevators to. - Production music: the blinking-sounding music that was hard in television theme songs, industrial films, and so many other film and television venues in the 1950s and 1960s. - Eastern European interpretations of rock, adult contemporary and rap. Such music just seems to have enough amateurishness and ethnic folksy influence to make it sound … well, really, really off. - Bluegrass. Okay, not really, but if I listen to it for an hour it all sounds the same; mountain this, valley that, hollow something else, ridge whatever. The lyrics often sound like they’re reading a list of geographical features common to West Virginia, accompanied by plinging banjos. ---
**Author:** ![Interrobang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/interrobang/32/17463_2.png) [@Interrobang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Interrobang)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2008, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-music-in-the-world/462455/58 "2008-09-08T00:39:56Z")
UB40’s cover of “Red Red Wine.” ---
**Author:** ![Interrobang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/interrobang/32/17463_2.png) [@Interrobang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Interrobang)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2008, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-music-in-the-world/462455/59 "2008-09-08T00:43:51Z")
Oh, and a somewhat broader category that I haven’t seen mentioned: music that’s been aggressively sanitized for kids, sung by kids. Like [Wee Sing](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7eBWMxcbntY). The three weeks my toddler was obsessed with that CD were some of the longest three weeks I can remember. Who’d expect to get sick of stuff like “She’ll Be Coming 'Round the Mountain”? Note: There’s plenty of music recorded for kids that’s just fine – even pretty great. But the stuff that strives for inoffensive non-controversy? Ugh. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2008, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-music-in-the-world/462455/60 "2008-09-08T02:17:36Z")
In the '90s Russian artists Komar and Melamid created a series of paintings called “People’s Choice”. These were based on survey results from different countries about what kinds of art were most and least popular. Based on these results, Koman and Melamid created a “most wanted” and “least wanted” painting for each country (with pretty amusing results). They went on to do the same for music, based on the results of an Internet poll. Their “Most Wanted Song” and “Least Wanted Song” were [released on CD](http://www.diacenter.org/km/musiccd.html), and I’m sure if you try you can download them somewhere. (Looks like the “Most Wanted Song” is available as an MP3 from Amazon.) These two songs are _hilarious_. The survey results indicated that participants disliked (among other things) unusually long songs, rap, opera, cowboy songs, holiday music, advertising jingles, children singing, accordians, and bagpipes. So the “Most Unwanted Song” combines all of these into a 25 minute opus that features a soprano rapping in operatic style about life on the prairies, a chorus of children advising you to do your holiday shopping at Wal-Mart, and a bagpipe solo. I laughed 'til I cried. Interestingly, everyone I’ve played these two songs for agrees that the “Most Unwanted Song” is actually more enjoyable than the “Most Wanted Song” that was designed to appeal to the majority of the population: a rock/r&b love duet featuring electric guitar and saxophone. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-music-in-the-world/462455.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-music-in-the-world/462455.md?page=4)