# What's the worst music in the world? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 7, 2008, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-music-in-the-world/462455 "2008-09-07T05:01:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2008, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-music-in-the-world/462455/81 "2008-09-08T12:58:44Z")
Bagpipes and christian music. If there is christian bagpipe music, it would be the ultimate in suck. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2008, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-music-in-the-world/462455/82 "2008-09-08T13:07:57Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > [Florence Foster Jenkins.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6h4f77T-LoM) Thank you! She’s a byword in our home! ---
**Author:** ![BlackFish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/71e660/32.png) [@BlackFish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackFish)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2008, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-music-in-the-world/462455/83 "2008-09-08T13:55:29Z")
Some people does´nt like like noise music, I cant say I buy it, but it was my first ‘real ‘revelation’ into the heavy world of synth-music when I Heard Front 242’s (fuck) Off, and Front Line Assemblys’ Sex offender back in the early 90´s here are some links to noise music [![]( " - YouTube") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ib3qvQeZXk8) [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/Xi3EZvJlXBg/hqdefault.jpg "Merzbow live @MAMAC Nice, France") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xi3EZvJlXBg) ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2008, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-music-in-the-world/462455/84 "2008-09-08T13:57:42Z")
I don’t know if it’s the worst music in the world, but that Peruvian pan flute stuff manages to be annoying as all hell through sheer blandness and insipitude. On a bad day it feels like there is a guy or a small band playing this stuff in every subway stop in New York City. The music is almost unimaginably boring but it’s hard to avoid because of the high pitch of the pipes and the sheer volume at which the pipes and the bass-heavy prerecorded backing track are played. You can find these people frequently in Penn Station and Times Square, so they’re also willing to clog up pedestrian traffic. And oh yes. “My Heart Will Go On” is a staple of their performances. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2008, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-music-in-the-world/462455/85 "2008-09-08T14:19:57Z")
You people haven’t begun to scratch the surface of BAD. 1.) Lou Reed’s **Metal Machine Music** – I’m not sure even Reed ever listened to this all the way through. It’s actually appeared on CD. > **[Metal Machine Music](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metal_Machine_Music)** > > Metal Machine Music (subtitled \*The Amine β Ring) is the fifth studio album by American rock musician Lou Reed. It was recorded on a three-speed Uher machine and was mastered/engineered by Bob Ludwig. It was released as a double album in July 1975 by RCA Records, but taken off the market three weeks later. A radical departure from the rest of his catalog, the Metal Machine Music album features no songs or recognizably structured compositions, eschewing melody and rhythm for modulated feedba The... 2.) Donald Erb’s **Stargazing**. I see that Mr. Erb died just last month, and I’m sorry for hjim and his family. But that doesn’t change my opinion of his work. [http://www.presser.com/Composers/info.cfm?Name=DONALDERB](http://www.presser.com/Composers/info.cfm?Name=DONALDERB) 3.) **The Cherry Sisters** – reportedly so bad they had to be protected by a mesh screen from objects flung by the audience (although they denied it later). They reportedly didn’t realize how bad they were. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it), they were never recorded, so we can never know how truly bad this vaudeville act was. > **[Cherry Sisters](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cherry_Sisters)** > > The Cherry Sisters – Addie (1859–1942), Effie (1867–1944), Ella (1854–1934), Lizzie (1857–1936), and Jessie Cherry (1871–1903) – were five sisters from Marion, Iowa who formed a notorious vaudeville touring act in the late 19th century. They were also the plaintiffs in a landmark 1901 legal case heard by the Iowa Supreme Court, Cherry v. Des Moines Leader, which was instrumental in establishing and confirming the right of the press to fair comment. > The Cherry Sisters' vaudeville act, Something ... ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2008, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-music-in-the-world/462455/86 "2008-09-08T14:46:17Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > I don’t know if it’s the worst music in the world, but that Peruvian pan flute stuff manages to be annoying as all hell through sheer blandness and insipitude. How much of it is Peruvian as opposed to Native American Spirit Of The Ancients New Age? I call it “Santa Fe Muzak”. When I lived in New Mexico, flute-and-distant-wind-and-far-off-howling-coyotes tunage was a common backdrop in many restaurants, coffee houses, and stores. I don’t mind it, but don’t go put of my way for it; it’s really something of a cliche. > [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > Pop country. If there was any musical genre that literally sounds like it was created by demons for the purposes of torturing people, this would be it. It basically just sounds like really, really mediocre rock music with a singer who happens to have a really over-the-top, unrealistic Southern or Midwestern accent. I’ve said it before; it’s not just the music, but the lyrics. To my ears, it sounds like glurge email sung with a twang, with country/rock fusion accompaniment. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Gadai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@An\_Gadai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Gadai)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2008, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-music-in-the-world/462455/87 "2008-09-08T15:08:49Z")
M.O.R. Neo-Nazi Country Reggae ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2008, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-music-in-the-world/462455/88 "2008-09-08T15:14:34Z")
> [@elmwood](#): > > How much of it is Peruvian as opposed to Native American Spirit Of The Ancients New Age? I believe it’s specifically supposed to be Peruvian, but I no longer remember why that is. Whatever spirits are being invoked here, I assume they are suitably embarrassed. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanTigerTamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@SuntanTigerTamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanTigerTamer)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2008, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-music-in-the-world/462455/89 "2008-09-08T17:34:03Z")
> [@Mr.Excellent](#): > > Maroon Five. > > Nickelback. > > There. The thread’s done now. I will disagree VEHEMENTLY with the aforementioned CocoRosie, and second Mr Excellent’s post. That anyone could consider the cookie cutter stylings of Nickleback “music” makes me wince. I will also add Ani Difranco to the list. Let me know when she makes a song that doesn’t sound like every other Ani song ever. I’ll also second Jazz, in all its forms, and British Rap when in Lady Sovereign flavor (MIA’s technically British, and she is making amazing music). Also, all American rap that isn’t Lil Wayne, The Cool Kids, or Jadakiss. Sometimes Cam’ron too. But only sometimes… ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2008, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-music-in-the-world/462455/90 "2008-09-08T18:42:19Z")
The Diane Warren songbook, followed by death metal. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2008, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-music-in-the-world/462455/91 "2008-09-08T18:53:49Z")
> [@buns3000](#): > > Yoko Ono. If Yoko Ono took up griot music she’d have the continent pretty much to herself. And in related news, Neil Diamond supposedly has a good chance of making the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2008, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-music-in-the-world/462455/92 "2008-09-08T19:04:25Z")
> [@Kalhoun](#): > > Bagpipes and christian music. If there is christian bagpipe music, it would be the ultimate in suck. [Here you go.](http://www.caber-records.com/) This bagpiper’s offerings include “Amazing Grace”, “Onward Christian Soldiers”, “Jesus Loves Me Just As I Am”, and, most horribly, “When The Saints Go Marching In”. I think the griot singers would be paying this guy to go away. ---
**Author:** ![unwashed\_brain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/a9adbd/32.png) [@unwashed\_brain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/unwashed_brain)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2008, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-music-in-the-world/462455/93 "2008-09-08T19:18:00Z")
> [@Mr.Excellent](#): > > Maroon Five. > Nickelback. > There. The thread’s done now. Very savvy choices. I’ll add: Any rap song from the dirty south: uhhhhn. uhhhhhhhhhn. uhhhhhhhhhhhhn. I’m on a toilet makin’ noizes and you suckaz buyin’ it. I don’t have to write a melody cuz you foolz still buy dis shit. uhhhhn! uhhhhhhhhhn! uhhhhhhhhhhhhn! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2008, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-music-in-the-world/462455/94 "2008-09-08T19:35:26Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > North Cameroonian griot music is pretty terrible. It involves a really oddly dressed guy (think court jester, but in Africa) blowing a bagpipe or playing a tiny guitar right in your ear while singing a song that usually translates to “Hello white lady…” You have to pay them to go away. People will take a different route when they see a griot. When someone wants to raise money, sometimes they get a griot to go from house to house in the village to collect money to go away. Griot is an inherited position and children of griots can only marry into other griot families. > > I wish I had a sound clip. It really does sound like a parody of the worst music you can think of. So, in respect to this less-than-great griot music, most people are… ingrates? > [@jovan](#): > > Like I wrote earlier, in these sorts of threads, _everything_ will eventually get mentioned, so everyone will get burned. Quality is not a one-dimensional variable. Something can be “good” or “bad” with regards to many different standards and points of view. The only objectively “worst” music is the one that is utterly worthless to _everyone_, including the person who made it. All the examples so far are based on personal preferences. > > And by the way, John Cage never did anything called “mathematical music”, I think you might be confusing with something else. I wonder if he was thinking of [spatial music](http://prometheus.kai.ru/pr-mys_e.htm)? Many years ago, I was a lowly high school student dragooned into performing in an avant-garde spatial music piece that lacked any coherent harmony, melody, rhythm, theme, phrasing, or dynamics – which makes it objectively bad music, by any reasonable definition. What a tremendous waste of time and money for everyone involved or inconvenienced by it – except for the “composer,” who no doubt subsisted on a diet of government grants for that kind of crap. But I’ve remembered something that’s even more odious than that… the tuneful encomiums and other music of praise and devotion dedicated to the North Korean dictators Kim Il-Sung and his son, Kim Jong-Il. It’s staid, glurgey, crypto-religious, rendered with Asian intonation and caterwauling, inescapable in that country (where people’s apartments are outfitted with government radio/loudspeakers that by law can never be turned off), and sometimes accompanied by massive displays by choreographed, synchronized dancers and card-holders – and listening to any other kind of pop music can land you in a concentration camp. I retract my earlier nomination of Diane Warren (with death metal first runner-up); the state-sanctioned [actually, mandated] pop music of North Korea is the world’s worst music. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2008, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-music-in-the-world/462455/95 "2008-09-08T19:51:57Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > [Here you go.](http://www.caber-records.com/) > > This bagpiper’s offerings include “Amazing Grace”, “Onward Christian Soldiers”, “Jesus Loves Me Just As I Am”, and, most horribly, “When The Saints Go Marching In”. > > I think the griot singers would be paying this guy to go away. I haven’t checked out your link, but I have to say that I can think of few musical offerings that are more moving than the bagpipes doing Amazing Grace. Of course, it is possible to screw it up. I received a gift of a CD of bagpipe music from someone who probably shares the view of the majority of the posters in this thread - and I felt it was utterly ruined by the electric organ playing with the pipes and drums. :eek: It’s amazing what growing up in [Fergus, Ontario](http://www.fergusscottishfestival.com/) can do to a young boy’s musical tastes. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2008, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-music-in-the-world/462455/96 "2008-09-08T22:25:56Z")
> [@OtakuLoki](#): > > I haven’t checked out your link, but I have to say that I can think of few musical offerings that are more moving than the bagpipes doing Amazing Grace. Yeah, “moving,” as in “someplace else, please.” ---
**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2008, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-music-in-the-world/462455/97 "2008-09-08T23:09:51Z")
I’m not much for noise music (good one, **BlackFish** ), and I would like to submit Black Metal for consideration. [Cite.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6wyu841Z6s) I mean…seriously? And this is coming from a guy who has every Skinny Puppy album, a couple from Numb, :Wumpscut: …this stuff just blows. ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2008, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-music-in-the-world/462455/98 "2008-09-08T23:15:27Z")
> [@clairobscur](#): > > If you want to listen a bit more (not difficult) of John Cage , here’s [Sonata V](http://fr.youtube.com/watch?v=VYsx5Di3bso) (If you’ve never heard of John Cage, the screws are part of the instrument. That’s why they appear on the video) Things aren’t helped by the bad recording quality there. Turning a piano into a percussion instrument and then close-miking it is asking for trouble. Before writing off the prepared piano, try comparing [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0BwwF9cLwM&feature=related), the first piece Cage wrote for the instrument, with [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRAaTmYUx1o) example of the type of gamelan on whose soundworld he was drawing. (Also, 2’40"+ in that Cage example allows some of the individual sounds created by the preparation of individual strings to be really heard properly.) > [@Paladud](#): > > Ravel’s Bolero makes me waver between going on a homicidal rampage and perforating my eardrums with a ballpoint pen. Me too. Poulenc is a composer who generally has that effect, too. Haydn does it at times. > [@The\_Scrivener](#): > > Many years ago, I was a lowly high school student dragooned into performing in an avant-garde spatial music piece that lacked any coherent harmony, melody, rhythm, theme, phrasing, or dynamics – which makes it objectively bad music, by any reasonable definition. How so? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Stauderhorse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Stauderhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stauderhorse)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2008, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-music-in-the-world/462455/99 "2008-09-08T23:15:59Z")
“Should’ve Said No” and “Our Song” by Taylor Swift. “Don’t you know you’re beautiful” by Kelly Pickler. “Stay” by Sugarland. “Redneck Woman” by Gretchen Wilson. “When You’re Gone” and “Girlfriend” by Avril Lavigne. I could be in this thread all day. ---
**Author:** ![Valgard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/7feea3/32.png) [@Valgard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valgard)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2008, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-music-in-the-world/462455/100 "2008-09-08T23:32:33Z")
I know that you’re looking for the worst genre or style but when it comes to musical offenses that ought to be felonies my top pick is still Celine Dion covering AC/DC’s “You Shook Me All Night Long”. [![]( " - YouTube") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FONt47Z0KZg) Wildly inappropriate cover done awfully by a talented singer (I’ll accept that as a given) who is obviously convinced that she’s doing a REALLY GREAT JOB. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-music-in-the-world/462455.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-music-in-the-world/462455.md?page=6)