# What's the worst song ever that reached #1? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 6, 2020, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-song-ever-that-reached-1/851170 "2020-04-06T04:28:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2020, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-song-ever-that-reached-1/851170/221 "2020-04-10T23:31:13Z")
> [@Licentious\_Ectomorph](#): > > OK, I just listened to “Ode to Billie Joe” for the first time in my life, having never even heard of it before. There must be something I’m not getting. Is there some significance to the preacher having seen a girl who looks like her with Billie Joe? Is the insinuation that she killed him? Because, absent that, it’s a boring song about chores and a mundane dinner table conversation. It’s a song about people’s indifference to other people’s tragedies. The suicide of someone they know \*becomes \*a mundane subject in a dinner table conversation. The song’s narrator is the only one that cares. Part of the song’s appeal (to some people) is the unexplained things that nobody at the table bothers to ask about. Was the girl seen with Billy-Joe actually the narrator or not? What was the ‘something’ that they threw off the bridge? Why did Billy-Joe kill himself. Some people thought there was a significant and interesting backstory, if only they could puzzle it out from the clues, but in reality even the author didn’t have any answers. Not that I’m defending the song, mind you. ---
**Author:** ![Yorkshire\_Pudding](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/59ef9b/32.png) [@Yorkshire\_Pudding](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorkshire_Pudding)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2020, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-song-ever-that-reached-1/851170/222 "2020-04-10T23:44:20Z")
As has been mentioned, the UK charts have always been sales-only, with no airplay component. They include streaming now too, but you could argue (and I would) that that’s analogous to sales rather than airplay, in as much as it reflects listener-dictated consumption, not broadcasters’ decisions. So that means novelty bollocks is right up there. Some argue that when a novelty record hits No. 1, it’s unfair to the No. 2 record which - on a ‘normal’ week where sales would just be based on music that music fans like - would (and therefore should) be No. 1. But the chart is just a chart. It’s just a list. It only means “what people bought”, not “what’s definitively, objectively best”. And people read meaning into it, etc, etc, of course, but it’s not really there. There are all sorts of reasons why people buy records. But what I’m getting at really is: “We Built This City”?! “In The Year 2525”?! _Worst?!!_ Dear dear dear. If those are your worst Numbers Ones, my friend, you’ve been spoiled. That’s like declaring bootcut jeans the worst legwear in the world, despite the existence of vomit-stained sweatpants with holes worn through the crotch. ---
**Author:** ![Mark\_Finn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/34f0e0/32.png) [@Mark\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mark_Finn)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2020, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-song-ever-that-reached-1/851170/223 "2020-04-11T13:19:26Z")
> [@Kryten](#): > > The absolutely worst song that actually made it to number 1 on the Billboard pop charts in 1958 is The Purple People Eater by Sheb Wooley. You missed out on “Witch Doctor” by David Seville (before he called his sped-up voice “The Chipmunks”). It was number one a month earlier in 1958 ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2020, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-song-ever-that-reached-1/851170/224 "2020-04-11T14:51:43Z")
> [@vonespy](#): > > I’d like to nominate _Desiderata_ by Les Crane, an insipid poem set to insipid music. The title track only made it as far as #8 on the Billboard Hot 100. The only place it made #1 was New Zealand. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2020, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-song-ever-that-reached-1/851170/225 "2020-04-11T18:14:38Z")
> [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](#): > > Since this song was released, people have argued about what Billie Joe and the narrator threw off the bridge. It only just occurred to me today that, given the last verse of the song (“As for me, I spend a lot of my time picking flowers up on Choctaw Ridge/And dropping them into the muddy water off the Tallahatchie Bridge”), she and Billie Joe might have been tossing flowers off the bridge when they were spotted by that nice young preacher Brother Taylor. I’ve always suspected it was the corpse of their illegitimate child, either miscarried or aborted. ---
**Author:** ![vonespy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vonespy/32/6204_2.png) [@vonespy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vonespy)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2020, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-song-ever-that-reached-1/851170/226 "2020-04-11T22:36:08Z")
> [@ftg](#): > > The title track only made it as far as #8 on the Billboard Hot 100. The only place it made #1 was New Zealand. Yeah, you’re right. The start of the thread mentions #1 on Billboard or equivalent in “your country”. Sadly I live in the US so this song doesn’t count. Unless some kind kiwi can help me out. (Is kiwi still an acceptable nickname for people from NZ?) ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2020, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-song-ever-that-reached-1/851170/227 "2020-04-12T00:57:56Z")
> [@vonespy](#): > > I’d like to nominate _Desiderata_ by Les Crane, an insipid poem set to insipid music. > > It did spawn [Deteriorata](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFLvhKv-Lbo) however. A rare spoof / cover that is greater than the original. > > Interesting side note: Melissa Manchester sang Deteriorata before the rest of her career really took off. So another questionably good thing to come out of the original dreck. > > Edit: it hit number 1 in New Zealand. Does that count? I had heard of “Deteriorata” but never heard it until now. It reminded me of this, which never made the American Top 40 but hit #1 in several other countries. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/sTJ7AzBIJoI/hqdefault.jpg "Baz Luhrmann - Everybody's Free To Wear Sunscreen") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTJ7AzBIJoI) ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2020, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-song-ever-that-reached-1/851170/228 "2020-04-12T04:23:35Z")
> [@Yorkshire\_Pudding](#): > > But what I’m getting at really is: “We Built This City”?! “In The Year 2525”?! _Worst?!!_ Dear dear dear. If those are your worst Numbers Ones, my friend, you’ve been spoiled. That’s like declaring bootcut jeans the worst legwear in the world, despite the existence of vomit-stained sweatpants with holes worn through the crotch. So name a worse #1 song than “In The Year 2525.” No one has named one I think is as bad, much less worse. That song is a disgrace. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2020, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-song-ever-that-reached-1/851170/229 "2020-04-12T04:38:51Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > So name a worse #1 song than “In The Year 2525.” No one has named one I think is as bad, much less worse. That song is a disgrace. [The Millennium Prayer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Td_4Jy8TKC4), UK no 1 as 1999 turned to 2000. Basically, the Lords Prayer, sung to the tune of Auld Lang Syne. The words don’t even fit the tune properly. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2020, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-song-ever-that-reached-1/851170/230 "2020-04-12T04:46:05Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > I found “In The Year 2525” an utterly detestable song, for instance, the moment I first heard it. It, too, came out before I was born, and it’s not like my parents ever played it at home, so I can’t have gotten tired of it being overplayed. I guess a rough equivalent would be me ranting about how terrible “How Much Is That Doggie In The Window” is, despite it’s being popular before my birth and never having had to endure airplay. “In the Year 2525” is not a good song\*; at least it’s not nauseatingly, cloyingly saccharine like multiple other #1s mentioned in this thread. \*but it’s, like, _heavy_, man. ---
**Author:** ![Mark\_Finn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/34f0e0/32.png) [@Mark\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mark_Finn)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2020, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-song-ever-that-reached-1/851170/231 "2020-04-12T13:57:18Z")
> [@Peter\_Morris](#): > > [The Millennium Prayer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Td_4Jy8TKC4), UK no 1 as 1999 turned to 2000. Basically, the Lords Prayer, sung to the tune of Auld Lang Syne. The words don’t even fit the tune properly. This one only got to number 4: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZF9rsgKZHw](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZF9rsgKZHw) ---
**Author:** ![Zelski](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c67d28/32.png) [@Zelski](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zelski)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2020, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-song-ever-that-reached-1/851170/232 "2020-04-16T05:57:47Z")
Since I popped into the dope tonight (a rarity for me), I thought I’d comment on some older comments in this thread. Specifically those referring to _Silly Love Songs_. I think the criticism here is ironic (unless I was whooshed by every such poster) as the song was written in response to that kind of criticism. Critics - and John Lennon - had been making fun of McCartney for only writing sentimental pop. So Paul wrote a corny song titled _Silly Love Songs_ because of the criticism. Not my favorite McCartney song by far (that is _Wanderlust_) but it does have a great bass-line and nice horns. And it does shoot back at Lennon by asking ‘what’s wrong with that?’ ---
**Author:** ![Yorkshire\_Pudding](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/59ef9b/32.png) [@Yorkshire\_Pudding](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorkshire_Pudding)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2020, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-song-ever-that-reached-1/851170/233 "2020-04-16T11:09:02Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > So name a worse #1 song than “In The Year 2525.” No one has named one I think is as bad, much less worse. That song is a disgrace. No one? Even considering posts #24, #56 & #74? I mean, OK, enough people bought them to make them Number One so that means they had some sort of appeal…but do you insist that Zager & Evans are worse than _all_ of them? And a “disgrace”? I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask for an explanation. ---
**Author:** ![Mangosteen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Mangosteen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangosteen)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2020, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-song-ever-that-reached-1/851170/234 "2020-04-17T23:37:04Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > To my mind, the true test of a terrible song as opposed to an overplayed song is - would someone who’s never heard this song before hate it? > > I found “In The Year 2525” an utterly detestable song, for instance, the moment I first heard it. It, too, came out before I was born, and it’s not like my parents ever played it at home, so I can’t have gotten tired of it being overplayed. How it hit #1 (for SIX STRAIGHT WEEKS might I add) in a year that featured the Beatles, the Supremes, and the Rolling Stones I just cannot understand. > > In fact, 1969’s list of USA #1s might be one of the most remarkable collections of talent you will ever find in a yearly list; it features The Beatles (twice) the Stones (twice) the Supremes, Marvin Gaye, Elvis, Sly & The Family Stone, The Temptations, Peter Paul and Mary, and The Fifth Dimension, and hell even Henry MAncini for something a little different. Well, it had The Archies, too, but I like “Sugar Sugar.” And then there is… Zager And Fucking Evans, with that awful, awful song about people with no eyes or teeth. ``` What people sometimes forget is that 1969 was a time of FM radio Album Rock. The great groups of that era were putting out whole albums of good music and paid little attention to releasing singles. And SINGLE sales were what were used to determine #1 songs. If you listened to FM radio, you heard lots of great music that never appeared on any top music chart. ``` ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2020, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-song-ever-that-reached-1/851170/235 "2020-04-18T02:33:48Z")
I once read that writing about music is like tap dancing about architecture. We all have these songs that just fall flat for us and I think the reason is that the real draw of songs is music—harmony, melody, rhythm, etc. Many people will forgive iffy lyrics if you can still dance to it or whatever. I love me some “Dream Police” by Cheap Trick even if I don’t really get the lyrics. Oh well. But when the radio puts bad lyrics into constant rotation on the station I listen to it can also be unbearable. NSFW for lyrics: maybe you’ve seen this ad for learning a language. These folks don’t speak English but gee that’s a catchy tune, they think so whatever. Again, NSFW. [Banned Commercials - Learn English - YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUEkOVdUjHc) ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2020, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-song-ever-that-reached-1/851170/236 "2020-04-18T02:58:06Z")
“Sugar Shack” by Jimmy Gilmore 1963. Even worse than “Sugar Sugar” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2020, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-song-ever-that-reached-1/851170/237 "2020-04-18T03:36:06Z")
For reasons I cannot fathom, this stinking turd shot to Number One throughout the English-speaking world as soon as it was released: This piece of Dreck went to Number One in both the US and Canada, further testimony to the declining intelligence of the West: [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/TazHNpt6OTo/maxresdefault.jpg "10. Rupert Holmes - Escape (The Piña Colada Song)") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TazHNpt6OTo) ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2020, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-song-ever-that-reached-1/851170/238 "2020-04-18T04:03:53Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > The Carpenters’ “Close to You” is really pretty awful. If anyone but Karen Carpenter had sung it, it would have sunk like a rock. It’s really her voice that made it to #1, not Burt Bacharach’s lyrics. > … No, I agree. Maybe not the worst, but i came in to nominate it- "_(They Long to Be) Close to You"_. Because she is singing it\* to her brother\*- and that makes it really creepy. To me, anyway. Of course the Op has nailed and disqualified the real two winners, but at least 2525 has some weird going for it. _MacArthur Park,_ and “(They Long to Be) Close to You” will make me change the station- quick. They still play those tunes. Now sure, we have novelty tunes like Mecos Star wars- but they dont play that anyway. Besides- just now listening- it isnt \*that \*bad. Here are ten weird #1 hits: > **[The Top 10 Weirdest U.S. No. 1 Hits](https://www.houstonpress.com/music/the-top-10-weirdest-us-no-1-hits-6497014)** > > It's not often that the pop charts will surprise you. After all, the average consumer in most countries doesn't have time to delve too deep into an artist's catalogue. They don't often pick up on songs that will stand the test of time. They like the... _Batdance_. really.:eek: ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2020, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-song-ever-that-reached-1/851170/239 "2020-04-18T04:05:10Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > James Blunt’s _ **You’re Beautiful** _. There are more vomit-inducing songs around (like _ **All for Love** _, _ **Nine Million Bicycles,** _ _ **All I Wanna Do** _), but how this turd rose to No. 1 is beyond me. Naw, it gets a pass since he let Weird Al parody it. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2020, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-song-ever-that-reached-1/851170/240 "2020-04-18T04:06:42Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Ummmm, for example? I reread the thread and do not see a one. _Muskrat Love._ If you like that duo. I do. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-song-ever-that-reached-1/851170.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-song-ever-that-reached-1/851170.md?page=13)