# What's the worst song ever that reached #1? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 6, 2020, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-song-ever-that-reached-1/851170 "2020-04-06T04:28:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/face_intentionally_left_blank/32/288_2.png) [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Face_Intentionally_Left_Blank)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2020, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-song-ever-that-reached-1/851170/101 "2020-04-07T03:52:26Z")
_We Built This City_ is an abomination birthed of four writers, because three people could not produce something that horrific. This is the devil’s side of the bargain Bernie Fuckin’ Taupin agreed to in order to create so many hit songs with Elton John. _Break My Stride_, by Matthew Wilder, is my own personal white whale, and for hate’s sake I will spit my last breath at it, but it only reached #2, so it gets a pass, today. This is a wonderful opportunity to vent my spleen in the general direction of Paul Simon, though. His work with Art Garfunkel will resonate throughout history as long as we can reproduce and play back sound, but he also signed a deal with the devil. The devil’s payment was _[Red Rubber Ball](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=emx6dU7suvg)_, by a one-hit-wonder called The Cyrcle. I used to forgive him, figuring, well, things are tough for young musicians/songwriters when they are starting out - but then I found out that Simon gave the song to The Cyrcle in 1966, after Simon & Garfunkel had achieved success. Gah. I’ve heard Mr Simon has a bit of a swelled head, which I guess is natural after all he’s achieved. I propose that, for the rest of his days, he be made to wear a single earphone and listen to _Red Rubber Ball_ on a loop, as his own personalized memento mori. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2020, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-song-ever-that-reached-1/851170/102 "2020-04-07T04:36:39Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > I feel oddly compelled to mention that the Minus Five recorded “The Night Chicago Died Again”, which was not one of their best songs. As in the Minus Five, one of Peter Buck’s side bands? Yes, indeed, the Minus Five. In this clip, he’s playing the bass. (RIP Bill Rieflin) How about "Hold On" by Wilson Phillips? For a number of years, I swear, I couldn't walk into a store and not hear that playing on the overhead. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2020, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-song-ever-that-reached-1/851170/103 "2020-04-07T07:53:56Z")
_Good Morning Starshine_ made #1 in Canada but only peaked at #3 in the US, but how undeserving of any chart position is a song that features these lyrics: _Glibby gloop gloopy Nibby Nabby Noopy La La La Lo Lo Sabba Sibby Sabba Nooby abba Nabba Le Le Lo Lo Tooby ooby walla nooby abba nabba Early mornin’ singin’ song_ There are far too many appalling lyrics to quote them all within fair use guidelines. The earnest delivery of this tripe is enough to provoke a diabetic coma. ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2020, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-song-ever-that-reached-1/851170/104 "2020-04-07T08:20:58Z")
> [@don\_t\_ask](#): > > _Good Morning Starshine_ made #1 in Canada but only peaked at #3 in the US, but how undeserving of any chart position is a song that features these lyrics: > > _Glibby gloop gloopy Nibby Nabby Noopy La La La Lo Lo > Sabba Sibby Sabba Nooby abba Nabba Le Le Lo Lo > Tooby ooby walla nooby abba nabba > Early mornin’ singin’ song_ > > There are far too many appalling lyrics to quote them all within fair use guidelines. > > The earnest delivery of this tripe is enough to provoke a diabetic coma. This was from the musical HAIR. It makes since in its hippy context. ---
**Author:** ![kitap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b9e5f3/32.png) [@kitap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kitap)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2020, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-song-ever-that-reached-1/851170/105 "2020-04-07T08:57:35Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > I’d also vote for “I’ve Never Been to Me”, but according to wikipedia, it only reached #3. This one was immediately repulsive. Yep. Had this made it to #1 I would have stuffed the ballot box with votes for this horrible horrible song. It’s Against the Geneva Conventions bad. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2020, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-song-ever-that-reached-1/851170/106 "2020-04-07T09:27:39Z")
Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On” is what finally convinced me that “MacArthur Park” was no longer the worst successful song ever. _Near, far, whereeeeeeever you are…_ ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2020, 9:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-song-ever-that-reached-1/851170/107 "2020-04-07T09:52:19Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > At least it’s a rhyme… > _It won’t do no harm > to do a little streakin’ in the dorm_ > > Clever. :smack: Are you familiar with the term [assonance](https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-1-d&q=assonance)? Anyone else besides me want to admit to liking **“MacArthur Park”**? mmm ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2020, 9:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-song-ever-that-reached-1/851170/108 "2020-04-07T09:59:55Z")
Also a (dis)honorable mention for the Bee Gees’ awful “I’ve Just Gotta Get a Message to You.” If you haven’t ever heard this song, I recommend keeping it that way. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2020, 10:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-song-ever-that-reached-1/851170/109 "2020-04-07T10:02:00Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > Anyone else besides me want to admit to liking **“MacArthur Park”**? You’re a brave man. ---
**Author:** ![Yorkshire\_Pudding](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/59ef9b/32.png) [@Yorkshire\_Pudding](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorkshire_Pudding)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2020, 10:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-song-ever-that-reached-1/851170/110 "2020-04-07T10:09:54Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > You’re a brave man. I like MacArthur Park. I like Break My Stride, Sugar Sugar, Chirpy-Chirpy Cheep-Cheep, We Built This City, Good Morning Starshine and Angie Baby. Possibly others in the thread too, but I can’t be arsed scrolling to remind myself… ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2020, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-song-ever-that-reached-1/851170/111 "2020-04-07T10:51:49Z")
> [@Yorkshire\_Pudding](#): > > I like Break My Stride, Sugar Sugar, Chirpy-Chirpy Cheep-Cheep, We Built This City, Good Morning Starshine I want to believe that someone out there likes Chirpy-Chirpy Cheep Cheep but then recoils in horror from Gliddy-Gloop Gloopy. ---
**Author:** ![road\_lobo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d78d45/32.png) [@road\_lobo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/road_lobo)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2020, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-song-ever-that-reached-1/851170/112 "2020-04-07T11:36:14Z")
Barenaked Ladies - One Week Smash Mouth - Walking on the Sun (Dishonorable mention: All Star) C & C Music Factory - Gonna Make You Sweat ---
**Author:** ![road\_lobo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d78d45/32.png) [@road\_lobo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/road_lobo)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2020, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-song-ever-that-reached-1/851170/113 "2020-04-07T11:46:58Z")
Cher - Believe ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2020, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-song-ever-that-reached-1/851170/114 "2020-04-07T11:47:07Z")
> [@lobotomyboy63](#): > > Same album IIRC… > > Someone’s knockin’ at the door > Somebody’s ringin’ the bell > Do me a favor, open the door > And let 'em in > WHAT?! > > When he’s good, he’s great. When he doesn’t care, he REALLY doesn’t care. I’ll tolerate obscure lyrics but sometimes… When I was old enough to analyze lyrics, I took this as an allegory of death and heaven. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2020, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-song-ever-that-reached-1/851170/115 "2020-04-07T12:29:43Z")
> [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](#): > > This is a wonderful opportunity to vent my spleen in the general direction of Paul Simon, though. His work with Art Garfunkel will resonate throughout history as long as we can reproduce and play back sound, but he also signed a deal with the devil. The devil’s payment was _[Red Rubber Ball](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=emx6dU7suvg)_, by a one-hit-wonder called The Cyrcle. I used to forgive him, figuring, well, things are tough for young musicians/songwriters when they are starting out - but then I found out that Simon gave the song to The Cyrcle in 1966, after Simon & Garfunkel had achieved success. > > Gah. I’ve heard Mr Simon has a bit of a swelled head, which I guess is natural after all he’s achieved. I propose that, for the rest of his days, he be made to wear a single earphone and listen to _Red Rubber Ball_ on a loop, as his own personalized memento mori. Gotta admit, this is the first time I’ve ever run into such a negative reaction to the song in the 54 years since it had its moment in the sun. It’s not a great song by any means, but it’s a perfectly nice pop song for its time. I really don’t understand your antipathy to it. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2020, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-song-ever-that-reached-1/851170/116 "2020-04-07T12:31:55Z")
> [@road\_lobo](#): > > Barenaked Ladies - One Week > > Smash Mouth - Walking on the Sun (Dishonorable mention: All Star) I like all three of these. (All Star has been played to death, but even very good songs get overplayed.) ---
**Author:** ![BwanaBob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bwanabob/32/2985_2.png) [@BwanaBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BwanaBob)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2020, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-song-ever-that-reached-1/851170/117 "2020-04-07T12:43:10Z")
I think the OP should have qualified their understanding of the word “worst”. Did they mean lyrically? Plenty of those have been mentioned already. Or musically? Because, hell, these are pop songs on pop charts, I would expect #1s to have schmaltzy pop melodies, that’s not fair to vote any of those as worst. You’d need to find something really unconventional or non-melodic to pick a “winner” in that category. ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2020, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-song-ever-that-reached-1/851170/118 "2020-04-07T12:50:59Z")
_Crank That (Soulja Boy_. That song drove me up the wall. ---
**Author:** ![Yorkshire\_Pudding](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/59ef9b/32.png) [@Yorkshire\_Pudding](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorkshire_Pudding)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2020, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-song-ever-that-reached-1/851170/119 "2020-04-07T13:10:32Z")
> [@road\_lobo](#): > > Barenaked Ladies - One Week > > Smash Mouth - Walking on the Sun (Dishonorable mention: All Star) > > C & C Music Factory - Gonna Make You Sweat Wow. _Those_ are standout terrible? REALLY? This smacks ever so slightly of hiding 'neath bridges and waiting for goats… ---
**Author:** ![Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/face_intentionally_left_blank/32/288_2.png) [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Face_Intentionally_Left_Blank)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2020, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-song-ever-that-reached-1/851170/120 "2020-04-07T13:45:32Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > Gotta admit, this is the first time I’ve ever run into such a negative reaction to the song in the 54 years since it had its moment in the sun. > > It’s not a great song by any means, but it’s a perfectly nice pop song for its time. I really don’t understand your antipathy to it. “The morning sun is shining like a red rubber ball.” Horrible simile that is in the climax of the chorus, so it’s emphasized and repeated several times. Worse, I think, is that insipid. . . I guess it’s a keyboard. . . that sounds sort of like a calliope. Because that’s what the world needs: more calliope. I could maybe forgive Simon a bit. It seems he did write it when he was less financially fluid. From Wikipedia: > [@](#): > > In an interview on The Colbert Report, Paul Simon said he wrote “Red Rubber Ball” while living in England to get a £100 advance from The Seekers. This came in response to Colbert’s request for Simon to name a song that was “on the cusp” when it came to being included in his songbook Lyrics 1964–2008. But when he WAS financially secure, he still decided to unleash it upon the world, so I’m not \*that \*forgiving. He should have chopped its head off and buried it at the crossroads instead of giving it to someone else. It’s an insipid song. You know, de gustibus and all that. Plus, I may or may not be exaggerating for effect. 🙂 Not with _Break My Stride_ or _We Built This City_, though. If I had three trips in a time machine, I’d go back and stop both of these from being created, then I’d go back and stop one of them again, just to make sure. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-song-ever-that-reached-1/851170.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-song-ever-that-reached-1/851170.md?page=7)