What's the worst theatrical production you ever attended

Cafe Society
22

Probably the worst play I ever saw was likely “Whistle Down the Wind” from Andrew Lloyd Webber’s down period after the successful “Phantom of the Opera”. I saw it at the Kennedy Center in 1996 prior to an anticipated run on Broadway (exactly how I saw “Les Miserables” a decade earlier).

The story was boring. The music was repetitive and almost annoying (Wrestle with the devil… you gotta wrestle with the devil). The fact that I remember these lyrics 25 years later either means I loved it or hated it; and I assure it’s the latter. If you don’t believe me, you can watch the same Washington DC production on YouTube. It’s only 2 1/2 hours long, so not a huge commitment, but know that it never made it to Broadway.

23

That’s certainly true for me. I’ve done a lot of community theatre, and in my not-so-humble-opinion, all the shows have ranged from good to excellent. There was the time we tried Guys and Dolls, however.

Things looked good to begin with. The casting was pretty good, with plenty of this group’s experienced veterans cast, though not everybody was a veteran. The Guys learned how to play craps, to make their game look more realistic; and a few even spent a day or two at the local racetrack, to get a feel for horse racing. The director was experienced, the bandleader and his musicians were professionals, the vocal director had directed many choirs, an experienced choreographer was brought in, and the set designer/builder could work wonders with very little.

Then two weeks into rehearsals, the director had a heart attack, and the vocal director appointed herself the new director. Problem was, she had never directed a show before, and didn’t realize that she also had to “direct” the band, the choreographer, and the set designer. So each did what they wanted. And they wanted to do a lot.

The bandleader insisted the the band play absolutely every note ever written for the show, in spite of the fact that some numbers were optional. The choreographer had to come up with some extra choreography for the optional numbers, which the original director assured her would not be there, so she was pretty grumpy from then on. The set designer built huge sets, which not only took up all the room in the wings, making it difficult for the actors to get through them, but also took a lot of time to move on and off the stage. When the whole show was brought together in the last rehearsals, it clocked in at a whopping 3 hours and 15 minutes, because of all the music and time taken for set changes. Note that many, if not most shows, strive to be no longer than around 2 hours and 30 minutes, including an intermission.

Showtime came. The guy playing Sky Masterson was not as experienced as many of us. He was originally from Ireland, and managed a fine American accent–until he went on stage in front of a real audience, when rookie nervousness made him revert to his natural Irish one. The choreographer couldn’t stop her younger dancers from being in everybody’s way, in the wings, in the back hallway, in the green room, while practicing their moves; resulting in Inspector Brannigan getting kicked in the face just before he had to go on. (He played through the pain, and the makeup people helped him with the bruise that resulted.) Actors were late making their entrances, due to having to navigate the maze of huge sets in the wings. And the band did, indeed, play absolutely every note. Seemingly for hours.

I don’t know what the audience thought, but most of us considered it to be the worst production we had ever been in.

24

Mr Burns- A Post Electric Play

I have seen some truly great amatuer theater. I could rave about Star Mites or Bill The Galactic Hero for pages. Mr Burns was the opposite of that.

The actors could act.
The sets were fine.

The script is the worst thing I’ve ever had the agony to sit through. We were promised a light-hearted romp with plenty of Simpsons references. Post apocalyptic to be sure, but a romp. Only the last act (roughly 10 minutes. The first two were an hour a piece) delivers on that. Most of the play is a VERY grim look at post apocalyptic life. It is not a well-written or plausible look. It drags by as you pray for the sweet release of death. Just awful

25

Great example story. Reads like a hilarious nightmare and reminds me of the best musical parodies in the Simpsons. Maybe you can make it into a movie script.

26

“Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius, Oh-oh-oh, Dr, Zaius!”

“I hate every monkey I see, from chimp-an-ay to chimp-an-zee”

27

Or Miss Krapapple doing a rather bored rendition of “Fever” dressed only in balloons while casually bursting the balloons with a cigarette in a holder, at a school performance.

28

The worst professional production I’ve seen was on Broadway: Perfect Crime, a long-running murder-mystery. We saw it in 1995, in its 8th year, and couldn’t understand how or why it could still be running. The set was very dark, the actors mumbled, we had no idea who the characters were and what was going on since we could hardly see the actors or tell them apart. Even with heavily discounted tickets we felt cheated and booed at the end, the only time I’ve ever done that.

Apparently it’s improved–my 22 year old saw it last month, in its 33rd year, and said it wasn’t great, but ok. He didn’t tell us beforehand that he was going; if he had, I would have told him not to bother, even with discounted student tickets. Perfect Crime | NYC Discount Theatre Tickets | Theatre Development Fund – TDF

29

I’ve done crew for community theater. Not so much the worst performance as the worst cast, etc. had one member kicked off the cast for throwing a screaming fit backstage during a performance, and another member who promised to advertise the availability of sign-language interpreters, and then plain old didn’t do it.

30

Hard disagree. Mr. Burns is easily the best play I’ve seen in quite some time. I’ve seen it twice - once with a repertory theater company, and once at a university - and I thoroughly enjoyed both productions. It’s personally given me a lot of insight into the nature of art itself and how art is reinterpreted through the eyes of the culture that is experiencing it and reproducing it, how art changes to fit the needs of the culture consuming it, and the power of nostalgia for the generation experiencing it and for subsequent generations.

I can see why you’d be disappointed if you went in expecting a lighthearted Simpsons nostalgia-fest, but as a grim examination of post-apocalyptic life and what happens afterward, it’s up there with Earth Abides.

(And I’d say the third act is closer to a half hour or so.)

31

If we stretch the definition of theatrical production a little I once witnessed a live professional match where one wrestler threw a drop kick that was at least a good two feet from his opponent. The opponent pauses and THEN decides to react being “hit” by jumping backward over the top rope.

The whole match was a mess with both wrestlers throwing kicks an punches that were no where near each other and still reacting like they being actually hit.

32

I worked with our local pro wrestling promotion for some years. Not as a wrestler, but as the ring announcer. The idea was this: you have to make contact in order to sell the move. That might mean pulling a punch, or pulling a kick, or something similar, but as long as contact is made, the fans will believe it. Otherwise, they will look at it as we North Americans do at foreign soccer players who fall down, grasping their knee, when an opponent comes within four feet of them.

A number of rookies made the same mistake you described–no contact–and they were not accepted into the promotion. But a lot could, and were accepted.

33

Jose Rivera’s Marisol

It is packed to the rafters with Important Social Commentary, and Important Political Commentary, and Important Religious Commentary.

I don’t care about the religious stuff.
I disagree with the political stuff.
I think the social stuff is caused by the political stuff.

34

Several of you claim to be in the worst theatrical production ever, but there’s another side of the coin. How about when an entire audience deserts your performance? That happened to an actor friend of mine. His troupe put on a play for a local high school’s English class. After intermission, none of the high schoolers returned. Not even the teachers.

The director said they could cut their losses and go home, or she could be the audience for the 2nd act. They opted to continue the performance.

That has to be an actor’s worst nightmare.

35

Way back when Jesus Christ, Superstar first came out, a traveling church group came to our church to do a lip-sync production. Yeah, it was a interesting as you might expect. Apparently the director had a favorite hand gesture to express, well, everything! We were polite, since the actors were all kids anyway, and applauded and all, but for the longest time after, we’d use that gesture all the time.

Similarly, a local theater group did The Lion in Winter and apparently the only way Richard could express anger was by clenching his fists. That’s all he did - stand there and clench. It was distracting.

One of the worst was another local semi-pro group that did 1776. The casting was horrific - especially Edward Rutledge. A specific line in the show refers to him as the youngest in Congress, but the actor playing him was balding with a gray fringe - obviously in his 60s. Talk about being pulled out of the play! Meanwhile John Hancock looked like he was 12.

Also pretty close to the bottom was the dinner theater production of Best Little Whorehouse where the theater owner cast himself and his wife in the lead roles. They both stunk - but at least the dinner was decent.

Then again, I should talk - I know I couldn’t have done any better.

36

Once saw a truly wretched version of Showboat.

37

Anybody remember a story about Pia Zadora in The Diary of Anne Frank, and the audience rooting for the Nazis, and yelling “she’s in the attic!”? Maybe it was a comic’s routine.

38

A community theater adaptation of a Sherlock Holmes mystery where the actor playing Holmes kept dropping his gun. It was amusing to watch the villain patiently holding at bay while Holmes retrieved his pistol from the floor.

39

Many years ago, someone kindly gave me a ticket to see a stage version of Ibsen’s Peer Gynt. Well, I like me some Ibsen, so thank you very much - Peer Gynt, adapted for the stage, with original music.

Well - it turns out - adapted as a musical. Yep, brooding Scandinavian menace with snappy show tunes, and a lead actor breaking the fourth wall to grin at the audience in a “Isn’t this fun?” kinda way.

To be fair, the second half may have been excellent. I wouldn’t know about that.

j

40

All of them. But if I had to pick the Crowing Turd in the Punchbowl, it would be Waiting for Godot.

41

Yikes. I haven’t even seen it and I agree.