# What's the worst thing to say to a cop? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 2, 2003, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-thing-to-say-to-a-cop/192614 "2003-08-02T22:41:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![ForumBot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ee59a6/32.png) [@ForumBot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ForumBot)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2003, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-thing-to-say-to-a-cop/192614/21 "2003-08-03T04:01:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fish \* > \*\*My roommate moved into the area from Alabama and told me this story, which ranks as number one in my mind of the worst possible things you could say to a police officer. > > My friend Trey and others were driving through the state of Georgia. Most of the friends were Yanks, and a Canadian: northerners, in town for a get-together in the American South. > > They are pulled over by a Georgia state trooper for speeding. > > Trooper: “Boys, you’re about the fastest thing I’ve seen moving through this part of Georgia.” > Driver: “Except for maybe Sherman.” > > Trey tells me this driver was ticketed for the maximum amount allowed. > > Does anybody else have a story like this? > > FISH \*\* So you’re Trey’s roomate? Wow, small world. I’m just some hick he met in Alabama. Tell him to stop fapping so god damned much 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cholo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@Cholo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cholo)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2003, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-thing-to-say-to-a-cop/192614/22 "2003-08-03T04:41:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by fotosbyfrank \* > \*\*Hmmm . . . > > During a roadside alcohol test: “I couldn’t even do that if I was sober!” \*\* My understanding is this is precisely why they want you to do some of the tests they give you such as reciting the alphabet backwards or counting back by 9’s from 100. They’re COUNTING on you to say this…and if you do, you’re busted. At least this is what they told us in “traffic school” that I volunteered to go to as opposed to having addtional points on my liscense. ---
**Author:** ![EllisDee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellisdee/32/4531_2.png) [@EllisDee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EllisDee)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2003, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-thing-to-say-to-a-cop/192614/23 "2003-08-03T04:56:08Z")
Drew Carey’s: I like to run stop signs in the rain just to make cops get wet. I figure: “Fuck it, I got the money.” “Do you know why I pulled you over?” “Yep. Do you know why I ran the sign?” ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2003, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-thing-to-say-to-a-cop/192614/24 "2003-08-03T05:14:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cholo \* > \*\*My understanding is this is precisely why they want you to do some of the tests they give you such as reciting the alphabet backwards or counting back by 9’s from 100. They’re COUNTING on you to say this…and if you do, you’re busted. At least this is what they told us in “traffic school” that I volunteered to go to as opposed to having addtional points on my liscense. \*\* That’s a pretty dirty trick if true. I’d say that even if I were stone sober. Er, I… what I meant was… I don’t think being tricked into saying you’re not sober would hold up in court if in fact your were sober. If you “fail” the RST they just move on to the breathylizer and/or blood test, right? ---
**Author:** ![butter\_pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@butter\_pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butter_pie)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2003, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-thing-to-say-to-a-cop/192614/25 "2003-08-03T05:54:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cholo \* > \*\*My understanding is this is precisely why they want you to do some of the tests they give you such as reciting the alphabet backwards or counting back by 9’s from 100. They’re COUNTING on you to say this…and if you do, you’re busted. At least this is what they told us in “traffic school” that I volunteered to go to as opposed to having addtional points on my liscense. \*\* Wow, I knew learning to say the alphabet backwards would pay off some day!! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2003, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-thing-to-say-to-a-cop/192614/26 "2003-08-03T06:42:57Z")
Officer: Son, your eyes look a little red, have you been using drugs? Man in Car: Gee, officer, your eyes look a little glazed, have you been eating donuts? ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2003, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-thing-to-say-to-a-cop/192614/27 "2003-08-03T06:46:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fish \* > \*\* > Trooper: “Boys, you’re about the fastest thing I’ve seen moving through this part of Georgia.” > Driver: “Except for maybe Sherman.” > \*\* That is _funny_. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2003, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-thing-to-say-to-a-cop/192614/28 "2003-08-03T07:31:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Maureen \* > \*\* > (That guy was not just drunk, his blood level was affecting his alcohol content) > \*\* Heh. Ha. Hahahahahaha. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2003, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-thing-to-say-to-a-cop/192614/29 "2003-08-03T07:34:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mockingbird \* > \*\*That is _funny_. \*\* It was funnier when I heard the same story from a guy in highschool. ---
**Author:** ![Spiny\_Norman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@Spiny\_Norman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiny_Norman)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2003, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-thing-to-say-to-a-cop/192614/30 "2003-08-03T07:56:24Z")
[Background]In Copenhagen, the stereotype as regards cops is that they’re all fresh-faced farm boys from rural Jutland, struggling with the concepts of such inner city amenities as indoor plumbing & streetlights. As is often the case with stereotypes, while not true, it’s not exactly false either - a lot of police officers will have rural or small-city backgrounds, and they’re all trained in big-city Copenhagen.[/Background] So, for a bit of excitement when pulled over in Copenhagen just look at the police officer with all the empathy you can muster and say, preferably in an inner-city accent: “Awwwwwww, poor you. Your brother got the farm, then ?” ---
**Author:** ![SkyBum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@SkyBum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkyBum)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2003, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-thing-to-say-to-a-cop/192614/31 "2003-08-03T17:22:58Z")
This one doesn’t really apply to the roadside cop remarks but it is probably worh mentioning. I was in the basement of the cop shop to bail my buddy out after he had been arrested on a minor in possession of alchohol charge. Unfortunately they would not let me bail him out as I was a day short of turning 18 and they would not let a minor bail someone out. There were a group of 5 or 6 cops standing nearby and one of them says “Heh, better luck tomorrow kid, I hope your friend enjoy’s his stay.” and they were all laughing. I made it about halfway down the hall before my anger got the better of me and I turned around and said “What a bunch of useless fucking pigs!” What happened next is etched into my mind forever. The big fat one in the back points at me and shouts “Arrest him!” Most comical moment I have ever seen and I start laughing. They literally charged me and threw me to the ground and cuffed me. Wasn’t nearly so funny then… So they trumped up some public intoxication charges and refused to allow me a breathalyzer test (in spite of my insistance). Well of course I pled not guilty. The day of the court date I left school a little bit too late. When I got to the courthouse the receptionist told me that my case had been thrown out by the judge. Well on the way out of the building who should I see but 3 of the aforementioned cops standing in the foyer, and of course, having learned nothing from my previous experience I mouthed the word “pussies” to them as I walked past. I didnt stick around for the reactions. God it was priceless. ---
**Author:** ![jujuju](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7993a0/32.png) [@jujuju](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jujuju)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2003, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-thing-to-say-to-a-cop/192614/32 "2003-08-03T17:51:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NoClueBoy \* > \*\*Police: “Can I see some ID?” > > Bud: “Sure. Can I Play with your gun?” > > Result: Handcuffs, search, numerous not quite kosher things found with hotrod car. Thank god he was insured and had a valid license. We could’ve spent the night in jail. \*\* heehee 🙂 would be funnier if he were female 😛 ---
**Author:** ![pestie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e5b9ba/32.png) [@pestie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pestie)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2003, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-thing-to-say-to-a-cop/192614/33 "2003-08-03T19:27:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cholo \* > **…counting back by 9’s from 100.** I’m terrible at doing arithmetic in my head, but I gave this half a second’s thought and realized it’s actually quite easy. So, if you’re ever asked to do this by a cop, here’s what you do: 100 - 9 = 91, obviously. Now, just keep subtracting 1 from the first digit and adding 1 to the second digit. So, the sequence is this: 91, 82, 73, 64, 55, 46, 37, 28, 19, 10. 10 - 9 = 1, obviously, and you’re done! On a related note, I had a friend who had been in the Navy who was once asked by a cop to recite the alphabet in the usual A-to-Z sequence. Having apparently been quizzed on this numerous times in basic training, he replied, rapid-fire, “alpha, bravo, charlie, delta, echo…” ---
**Author:** ![SpoilerVirgin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@SpoilerVirgin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpoilerVirgin)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2003, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-thing-to-say-to-a-cop/192614/34 "2003-08-03T20:23:44Z")
The funniest I’ve seen was on one of those “dumbest criminals” T.V. shows. The cops got the driver and two passengers out of the car and was about to administer sobriety tests when the driver leaned in toward one of the cops (obviously mistaking him for a passenger) and whispered, “Tell them you were driving.” ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2003, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-thing-to-say-to-a-cop/192614/35 "2003-08-03T21:46:03Z")
“The funniest I’ve seen was on one of those “dumbest criminals” T.V. shows.” Yep, I liked the guy who answered the door when the cops came by to ask him if he knew anything about the crime next door & the guy said ‘It couldn’t have been me, I was wearing a mask’ ---
**Author:** ![Eirik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b19c9b/32.png) [@Eirik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eirik)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-thing-to-say-to-a-cop/192614/36 "2003-08-04T03:58:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ForumBot \* > \*\*So you’re Trey’s roomate? > > Wow, small world. I’m just some hick he met in Alabama. Tell him to stop fapping so god damned much 😃 \*\* Stranger still, not only do I know Fish, but I used to rent a room from the person that this incident happened to, so I’ve heard the story straight from the horses mouth. The end details are a little different, though. He thought the Trooper was out of earshot (he wasn’t), he didn’t realize that he’d fit through his drivers side window so easily, especially being pulled through it by a Georgia State Trooper, and the Trooper got so flustered he ordered them to leave, and didn’t get the ticket (I suspect at that point, may have feared a brutality charge…) But I know the guy, and I have no doubt that he actually said it. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-thing-to-say-to-a-cop/192614/37 "2003-08-04T04:37:25Z")
[hijack] I would just like to point out that at this moment in time, the next thread below this one is **What was your closest call?** [/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![bubba\_jr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e95f7d/32.png) [@bubba\_jr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bubba_jr)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-thing-to-say-to-a-cop/192614/38 "2003-08-04T04:52:25Z")
Worst I ever heard of a cop doing in my Dewey(DWI/DUI) class (BTW I had the HIGHEST bac of them all) was a cop having one kid recite the alphabet backwards from M-E. Granted he was a black kid in a “nice” white town. If I remember right he was underage and only blew like a .02. Who the hell can recite the alphabet backwards to begin with, nevermind from one letter to another. ---
**Author:** ![Achernar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e274bd/32.png) [@Achernar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Achernar)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-thing-to-say-to-a-cop/192614/39 "2003-08-04T05:03:31Z")
What, like it’s hard? You’re telling me you don’t occupy yourself on long walks by reciting every seventh letter backward from Z? Z, S, L, E, … ---
**Author:** ![benthames](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/58f4c7/32.png) [@benthames](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/benthames)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-thing-to-say-to-a-cop/192614/40 "2003-08-04T05:05:24Z")
these two go over like a fart in the proverbial church: You roll down your window, look up at the officer, and say loudly, “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?” “WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?” works just as well. When asked by a cop if he had been drinking that night, a friend of mine replied, “No. Have you?” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-thing-to-say-to-a-cop/192614.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-thing-to-say-to-a-cop/192614.md?page=3)