# What's the worst thing you've called someone... to their face? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 26, 2011, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-thing-youve-called-someone-to-their-face/600870 "2011-10-26T16:09:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2011, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-thing-youve-called-someone-to-their-face/600870/61 "2011-10-31T00:28:26Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > Well, again, all due respect and I don’t want to turn this into a battle, but I do want to point out that unless you would have kicked him in the ribs and groin while calling him a nigger who deserved to be lynched\* even if there had been no consequences to his leaving the door propped open\*, which I am pretty confident you would not have done, then I think you were inappropriately responding > > But it was obviously a terrible thing that happened and you were understandably upset, I get that. Maybe not all the kicks, but referring to him as a nigger who deserved to be lynched was already standard for insults between us anytime he referred to a women as a cunt or ho. ---
**Author:** ![Daylate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9dc877/32.png) [@Daylate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daylate)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2011, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-thing-youve-called-someone-to-their-face/600870/62 "2011-10-31T01:24:39Z")
Once, years ago, heard the phrase “You look just like the syphilated afterbirth of a Chinese gangfuck” used on someone. Been trying all these years to find a deserving recipient, but so far no such luck. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2011, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-thing-youve-called-someone-to-their-face/600870/63 "2011-10-31T01:29:58Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > Worthless, son-of-whore, shit-sucking nigger bastard… Not quite as offensive as this example, but I did once refer to someone as a ‘stinker’. mmm ---
**Author:** ![BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2011, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-thing-youve-called-someone-to-their-face/600870/64 "2011-10-31T01:35:56Z")
> [@Critical1](#): > > after 5 months or so my patients had run completely dry. Jesus. Remind me never to donate at your blood bank. ---
**Author:** ![Krav\_Manga](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/krav_manga/32/3153_2.png) [@Krav\_Manga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krav_Manga)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2011, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-thing-youve-called-someone-to-their-face/600870/65 "2011-10-31T11:36:23Z")
> [@](#): > > She was violently beaten and then penetrated by a penis. And I don’t think it was out of proportion. The cleaning woman was a completely innocent working class woman trying to earn a living, but because of that asshole’s laziness she was sexually violated. We later found out her husband abandoned her as a result of the rape. The asshole knew our office was in a high crime area. The asshole lived nearby. The asshole knew it was ironclad policy not to prop open doors (we had security doors that were rather hard to break open). I have often suspected the asshole had something to do with the robbery. So, did our boss and police, but nothing powerful enough to arrest the asshole was ever established. If there is any justice in the universe, the asshole is somebody’s prison bitch. Did the police have anything to say about your violent assault of this bloke? ---
**Author:** ![Wallenstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5a626/32.png) [@Wallenstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallenstein)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2011, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-thing-youve-called-someone-to-their-face/600870/66 "2011-10-31T12:09:43Z")
Was in a shop with my missus a few years back and an OAP pushed in line ahead of us. She had a defiant head-looking-straight-ahead-pretending-not-to-notice attitude, but it was clear she knew exactly what she was doing. My wife and a few other people started muttering under their breath (as British people do in such circumstances), but I said “I don’t mind waiting, she’ll be dead soon anyway”. It was just a throw-away comment and wasn’t delivered with any real malice, but I’ve never seen someone deflate so quickly and it clearly knocked her for six. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2011, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-thing-youve-called-someone-to-their-face/600870/67 "2011-10-31T18:16:33Z")
> [@Krav\_Manga](#): > > Did the police have anything to say about your violent assault of this bloke? Nothing was ever said to me. Of course, the police were not witness to the incident. A number of co-workers were. Two of them eventually stopped me and said the beating was enough. None of them offered to help the asshole get home however. To be honest, I still look back on the day as one of the few times an asshole has got at least some of what he deserved. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2011, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-thing-youve-called-someone-to-their-face/600870/68 "2011-10-31T19:18:23Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > Nothing was ever said to me. Of course, the police were not witness to the incident. A number of co-workers were. Two of them eventually stopped me and said the beating was enough. None of them offered to help the asshole get home however. To be honest, I still look back on the day as one of the few times an asshole has got at least some of what he deserved. So after the surrogate got his, was the _actual_ rapist-thief ever brought to justice? ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2011, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-thing-youve-called-someone-to-their-face/600870/69 "2011-11-02T00:55:41Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > So after the surrogate got his, was the _actual_ rapist-thief ever brought to justice? Not that I know of. And the asshole wasn’t a surrogate. His actions were more like that of an accomplice. ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2011, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-thing-youve-called-someone-to-their-face/600870/70 "2011-11-02T03:53:41Z")
I totally believe that beating actually occurred. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Shecky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/85e7bf/32.png) [@Shecky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shecky)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2011, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-thing-youve-called-someone-to-their-face/600870/71 "2011-11-02T15:21:53Z")
Stolen from an awesome email my brother’s friend wrote to my ex-SIL: “If I found your bloated, dying carcass lying on the side of the road, I’d rather walk by than spit in your mouth for water.” ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2011, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-thing-youve-called-someone-to-their-face/600870/72 "2011-11-02T15:26:53Z")
“May a thousand porcupines crawl up your ass backwards.” Though it was said as a joke… I have wanted to use this as a genuinely mean thing to say… ---
**Author:** ![fartsrfunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e480ec/32.png) [@fartsrfunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fartsrfunny)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2014, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-thing-youve-called-someone-to-their-face/600870/73 "2014-04-04T03:27:19Z")
Well besides using the “nuclear option” in sixth grade and calling someone a poopiehead (Harsh, I know) and using Rowan Atkinson’s five-star turd quote from the movie “Johnny English”, this one isn’t a name as much as it is a damn good insult. Used on an old “friend” who was no longer a friend. Here goes “Joey, you think you’re hot shit, don’t you. Well you’re right! See, cuz hot shit smells the worst out of any kind, and believe me. You STINK!” 🙂 He just had that look on his face like, “Oh shit, did he really just say that to me?” ---
**Author:** ![Inna\_Minnit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Inna\_Minnit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inna_Minnit)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2014, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-thing-youve-called-someone-to-their-face/600870/74 "2014-04-04T03:52:40Z")
My mom. She was jacking her jaw and I had had enough. “Bite my ass, old woman.” She was so shocked she stopped talking. Gave me the silent treatment for a few days. Yup, that’ll teach me. In high school, I threw a tennis racket at my coach’s feet and told her to go fuck herself. ---
**Author:** ![the\_diego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@the\_diego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_diego)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2014, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-thing-youve-called-someone-to-their-face/600870/75 "2014-04-04T03:56:50Z")
A free-loader. ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2014, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-thing-youve-called-someone-to-their-face/600870/76 "2014-04-04T13:35:39Z")
There seem to be more than a few ex-wife stories here! My “worst” example would have to come from that pile. I grew up in a civilized family where tempers rarely flared and harsh words were almost unknown. So it was a shock to me when I married a woman whose family background was quite different, and who regularly acted out with no holds barred when things didn’t go just the way she thought they should. I really had had no experience in dealing with a person like this. I spent nearly 11 years biting a hole right through my tongue when she would go off the rails, but occasionally my restraint failed me. I don’t remember any specific name-calling (on my part) per se, but I did once accuse her of “sub-human behavior,” a description I felt was quite accurate. I think that must have touched a nerve, because I can recall her quoting it back to me in the course of a subsequent argument. I stood behind my assessment. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-worst-thing-youve-called-someone-to-their-face/600870.md?page=3)