# What's this about sex in airplane toilets? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 12, 2007, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-this-about-sex-in-airplane-toilets/391880 "2007-02-12T17:30:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2007, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-this-about-sex-in-airplane-toilets/391880/1 "2007-02-12T17:30:00Z")
[A Qantas stewardess just got suspended for allegedly having sex with Ralph Fiennes in an airliner toilet.](http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/02/12/wfiennes12.xml) Leaving aside the impropriety of having sex during one’s working hours – why would anyone do this? Can there be a less erotic environment than a tiny, cramped, airplane toilet? I wouldn’t **jerk off** in an airplane toilet! Are there any Mile High Club members here who can enlighten me? ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2007, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-this-about-sex-in-airplane-toilets/391880/2 "2007-02-12T17:34:50Z")
It’s all about the excitement of doing IT somewhere they shouldn’t. I just can’t envision how two people can even fit into an airplane lav, much less do anything other than jam elbows into uncomfortable places. ---
**Author:** ![According\_to\_Pliny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@According\_to\_Pliny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/According_to_Pliny)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2007, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-this-about-sex-in-airplane-toilets/391880/3 "2007-02-12T17:35:09Z")
I’ve jerked off in airplane toilets. When you get the urge and it’s a six hour flight, what are you supposed to do? Check with Ann Landers? ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2007, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-this-about-sex-in-airplane-toilets/391880/4 "2007-02-12T17:39:42Z")
Ralph Fiennes? She’d be a fool NOT to! When opportunity knocks, you answer with a smile and a sense of urgency! ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2007, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-this-about-sex-in-airplane-toilets/391880/5 "2007-02-12T17:41:04Z")
Where else are you going to fuck on a passenger plane? ---
**Author:** ![CaerieD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@CaerieD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaerieD)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2007, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-this-about-sex-in-airplane-toilets/391880/6 "2007-02-12T17:42:03Z")
If it was just some random guy, I’d say that’s sort of odd and why the urgency? Considering that is was Ralph Fiennes, though, I salute that woman. There are some life experiences that are worth a little embarassment and a work suspension. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2007, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-this-about-sex-in-airplane-toilets/391880/7 "2007-02-12T17:46:37Z")
[QUOTE=CaerieD] If it was just some random guy, I’d say that’s sort of odd and why the urgency? Considering that is was Ralph Fiennes, though, I salute that woman. There are some life experiences that are worth a little embarassment and a work suspension. [/QUOTE] Fuckin’ A! ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2007, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-this-about-sex-in-airplane-toilets/391880/8 "2007-02-12T17:54:26Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] airplane toilet? I wouldn’t **jerk off** in an airplane toilet! [/QUOTE] Me neither. I stay in my seat and make creative use of the stomach distress bag. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tracy\_Lord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@Tracy\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tracy_Lord)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2007, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-this-about-sex-in-airplane-toilets/391880/9 "2007-02-12T18:48:10Z")
[QUOTE=CaerieD] If it was just some random guy, I’d say that’s sort of odd and why the urgency? Considering that is was Ralph Fiennes, though, I salute that woman. There are some life experiences that are worth a little embarassment and a work suspension. [/QUOTE] Emphatically third _that!_ Honestly, where’s the queue? ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2007, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-this-about-sex-in-airplane-toilets/391880/10 "2007-02-12T18:51:37Z")
> [@](#): > > Ms Robertson served in the New South Wales police force for 14 years before joining Qantas in September, 2004. She is a qualified scuba diver. Relax people. Clearly, they were trying to resolve a disagreement over the meaning of the term “going down.” ---
**Author:** ![Fir\_na\_tine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Fir\_na\_tine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fir_na_tine)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2007, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-this-about-sex-in-airplane-toilets/391880/11 "2007-02-12T18:54:14Z")
[QUOTE=gotpasswords] I just can’t envision how two people can even fit into an airplane lav, much less do anything other than jam elbows into uncomfortable places. [/QUOTE] None of the replies have addressed the mechanics of this. I can barely fit into the lav to stand and take a leak. For the life of me I can’t figure out any way to connect Tab A to Slot B or even to have Tab A licked, folded, spindled or otherwise handled by the owner of Slot B. Will someone please enlighten us on technique? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de053/32.png) [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackknifed_Juggernaut)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2007, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-this-about-sex-in-airplane-toilets/391880/12 "2007-02-12T18:58:09Z")
And she was ratted out by 2 of her co-workers. That’s just wrong. I’m guessing they were jealous? ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2007, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-this-about-sex-in-airplane-toilets/391880/13 "2007-02-12T19:14:07Z")
[QUOTE=Fir na tine] None of the replies have addressed the mechanics of this. I can barely fit into the lav to stand and take a leak. For the life of me I can’t figure out any way to connect Tab A to Slot B or even to have Tab A licked, folded, spindled or otherwise handled by the owner of Slot B. Will someone please enlighten us on technique? 😕 [/QUOTE] It was probably _The Walking 69_, a decidedly less obtrusive sexual coupling. See, all Ralph had to do in the plane’s aisle was grab the stewardess firmly by the waist and while hoisting her in the air also turn her upside down, making sure her collar hooked onto his trouser belt. She then would lock her knees around the back of Ralph’s head, thus supporting herself and pulling his head downward into a preferred position. Ralph could then stumble blindly toward the bathroom door, turn sideways and slide in. The Walking 69. Easy. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2007, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-this-about-sex-in-airplane-toilets/391880/14 "2007-02-12T19:14:54Z")
[QUOTE=Fir na tine] None of the replies have addressed the mechanics of this. I can barely fit into the lav to stand and take a leak. For the life of me I can’t figure out any way to connect Tab A to Slot B or even to have Tab A licked, folded, spindled or otherwise handled by the owner of Slot B. Will someone please enlighten us on technique? 😕 [/QUOTE] I’m not a member of the club, but I think you’re pretty much just tearin’ one off. The finessing of the tabs and slots is sort of secondary to the naughty thrill. For we petite women, I think you can start by standing on the toilet. ---
**Author:** ![si\_blakely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@si\_blakely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/si_blakely)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2007, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-this-about-sex-in-airplane-toilets/391880/15 "2007-02-12T20:40:33Z")
You gotta use the bathroom cause if you try to use the cockpit the pilots get to go first :smack: and that guy, pilots the automatic bits, they call him _George_, he’s a machine, I tell ya. He’ll take charge for most of a long haul flight. Si ---
**Author:** ![Spezza](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a698b9/32.png) [@Spezza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spezza)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2007, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-this-about-sex-in-airplane-toilets/391880/16 "2007-02-12T20:42:29Z")
She walks in and bends over the toliet. He walks in. Nasty, nasty. He leaves. She leaves. Not a member, but will be on April 25th/26th. (Oh, and if anybody has a reason why my plan won’t work, please let me know before April 24th. Thanks.) ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2007, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-this-about-sex-in-airplane-toilets/391880/17 "2007-02-12T20:44:58Z")
[QUOTE=Spezza] She walks in and bends over the toliet. He walks in. Nasty, nasty. He leaves. She leaves. Not a member, but will be on April 25th/26th. (Oh, and if anybody has a reason why my plan won’t work, please let me know before April 24th. Thanks.) [/QUOTE] I can let you know right now: airplane bathrooms are tiny. I’ve never seen an airplane bathroom where anyone can walk in when someone else is already in there. I suppose it might theoretically be possible if she’s kneeling on the toilet, but I’m not ready to bet money on it. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2007, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-this-about-sex-in-airplane-toilets/391880/18 "2007-02-12T20:46:56Z")
She goes in first, stands/crouches on the toilet so he can come in (the door folds inward, and there’s not really room for four legs/feet when it opens). Door closes. She sits on toilet, opens her mouth, and unzips him while he stands. [time passes…] Reverse above instructions. As far as getting some nooky, I have no idea. They’d have to be limber. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2007, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-this-about-sex-in-airplane-toilets/391880/19 "2007-02-12T20:48:57Z")
[QUOTE=Priceguy] I can let you know right now: airplane bathrooms are tiny. I’ve never seen an airplane bathroom where anyone can walk in when someone else is already in there. I suppose it might theoretically be possible if she’s kneeling on the toilet, but I’m not ready to bet money on it. [/QUOTE] Well, that and there’s almost always a line of people who are generally friendly and long-suffering, but who won’t be if they see the two of you going in together when all they want to do in life is pee and sit back down. ---
**Author:** ![Quiddity\_Glomfuster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/c4cdca/32.png) [@Quiddity\_Glomfuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quiddity_Glomfuster)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2007, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-this-about-sex-in-airplane-toilets/391880/20 "2007-02-12T20:57:22Z")
I believe if one were to manage this manoeuvre successfully, it would be more likely during the night when most passengers are asleep. As for logistics; are the first-class lavs a little larger? It’s been a while since I’ve used one so I can’t quite remember. And aren’t the entrances hidden behind the curtain? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-this-about-sex-in-airplane-toilets/391880.md?page=2)