# What's this sticky crap on my right hand? (Ridiculous/paranoid answers only, please.) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 29, 2010, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-this-sticky-crap-on-my-right-hand-ridiculous-paranoid-answers-only-please/558767 "2010-10-29T14:48:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-this-sticky-crap-on-my-right-hand-ridiculous-paranoid-answers-only-please/558767/1 "2010-10-29T14:48:44Z")
I had breakfast this morning before leaving the house. Not being a Welshman I washed my hands before leaving. Being a caffeine addict I stopped at Starbucks before going in. As I was standing in line I felt something sticky between the thumb and forefinger of my right hand, and also between the forefinger and middle finger. Between washing my hands and entering 'Bucks, i touched only the faucet, car keys, doorknob, car door, and steering wheel, all of which were clean. So what the hell was it? Ridiculous or paranoid answers only, please. Ridiculous AND paranoid answers are even better. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-this-sticky-crap-on-my-right-hand-ridiculous-paranoid-answers-only-please/558767/2 "2010-10-29T14:50:03Z")
Some guy from Wales broke into your car and put tacky glue all over your steering wheel… ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-this-sticky-crap-on-my-right-hand-ridiculous-paranoid-answers-only-please/558767/3 "2010-10-29T14:51:12Z")
The Blob. By now, you’ve been eaten. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-this-sticky-crap-on-my-right-hand-ridiculous-paranoid-answers-only-please/558767/4 "2010-10-29T14:55:47Z")
God is showing you His love. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-this-sticky-crap-on-my-right-hand-ridiculous-paranoid-answers-only-please/558767/5 "2010-10-29T14:56:47Z")
> [@Duke](#): > > Some guy from Wales broke into your car and put tacky glue all over your steering wheel… Josey? I bet it was tobacco spit. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-this-sticky-crap-on-my-right-hand-ridiculous-paranoid-answers-only-please/558767/6 "2010-10-29T14:58:24Z")
You’re leaking ectoplasm. Pre-Halloween. Happens to lots of people. Sop it up with light bread. Eat the bread if you want to live to 100. ---
**Author:** ![heatmiserfl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df705f/32.png) [@heatmiserfl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heatmiserfl)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-this-sticky-crap-on-my-right-hand-ridiculous-paranoid-answers-only-please/558767/7 "2010-10-29T15:00:47Z")
“That’s it man, game over man, game over! What the fuck are we gonna do now? What are we gonna do?” ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-this-sticky-crap-on-my-right-hand-ridiculous-paranoid-answers-only-please/558767/8 "2010-10-29T15:01:02Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > God is showing you His love. :: works action on shotgun :: I’m sure that was just a mistake on your part. You didn’t MEAN to imply that Athena was a dude. Right? :mad: ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-this-sticky-crap-on-my-right-hand-ridiculous-paranoid-answers-only-please/558767/9 "2010-10-29T15:29:48Z")
If it’s on your hand and it’s sticky, it’s a [stick](http://ndnforum.com/blogs/media/users/pitzer/Tree-hands.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-this-sticky-crap-on-my-right-hand-ridiculous-paranoid-answers-only-please/558767/10 "2010-10-29T15:30:03Z")
Keep checking that hand. Make sure [this](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Ark_in_Space.jpg)doesn’t happen to you. ---
**Author:** ![ramel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb8c5e/32.png) [@ramel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ramel)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-this-sticky-crap-on-my-right-hand-ridiculous-paranoid-answers-only-please/558767/11 "2010-10-29T15:32:51Z")
Sounds like a hormonal disruption throwing out your endocrine system and causing your sebaceous glands to produce a viscous secretion to me. Probably cancer. You should go to the doctor, although it’s probably too late once it’s reached this stage. ---
**Author:** ![Wilson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@Wilson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wilson)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-this-sticky-crap-on-my-right-hand-ridiculous-paranoid-answers-only-please/558767/12 "2010-10-29T15:44:12Z")
I will NOT mention Eowyn. I will NOT mention Eowyn… ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-this-sticky-crap-on-my-right-hand-ridiculous-paranoid-answers-only-please/558767/13 "2010-10-29T15:48:15Z")
Probably a contact poison placed by the Black Hats. They wouldn’t know you’re immune to such things. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-this-sticky-crap-on-my-right-hand-ridiculous-paranoid-answers-only-please/558767/14 "2010-10-29T15:51:18Z")
> [@Wilson](#): > > I will NOT mention Eowyn. I will NOT mention Eowyn… Mention Eowyn. It’s not like I’m not going to threaten you either way. ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-this-sticky-crap-on-my-right-hand-ridiculous-paranoid-answers-only-please/558767/15 "2010-10-29T15:52:02Z")
Last time I was abducted by aliens they were less competent than normal. My memory wasn’t wiped properly and I found probe lubricant in a number of unusual places. But I’m just being paranoid. You go ahead and eat that cruller with those hands. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-this-sticky-crap-on-my-right-hand-ridiculous-paranoid-answers-only-please/558767/16 "2010-10-29T17:17:44Z")
Snuffleupagus boogers. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-this-sticky-crap-on-my-right-hand-ridiculous-paranoid-answers-only-please/558767/17 "2010-10-29T17:20:29Z")
> [@Wile\_E](#): > > Snuffleupagus boogers. The Snuffleupagi are extinct. I killed the last family myself, eating the mother’s heart in front of her pups before putting them out of their misery. That is why Big Bird, Ernie & Bert, and Kermit all hate me. Don’t believe anything you see on _Sesame Street_. They’ve been lying to us for years. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-this-sticky-crap-on-my-right-hand-ridiculous-paranoid-answers-only-please/558767/18 "2010-10-29T17:23:51Z")
The sticky stuff is from Kermit. You really don’t want to know, but Miss Piggy was involved. ---
**Author:** ![Lare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/53a042/32.png) [@Lare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lare)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-this-sticky-crap-on-my-right-hand-ridiculous-paranoid-answers-only-please/558767/19 "2010-10-29T17:24:47Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > The Snuffleupagi are extinct. I killed the last family myself, eating the mother’s heart in front of her pups before putting them out of their misery. That is why Big Bird, Ernie & Bert, and Kermit all hate me. > > Don’t believe anything you see on _Sesame Street_. They’ve been lying to us for years. Don’t believe _ANYTHING?_ All those letters and numbers were lies? O G ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-this-sticky-crap-on-my-right-hand-ridiculous-paranoid-answers-only-please/558767/20 "2010-10-29T17:31:30Z")
It is the Ichor of the Sons of the Bird. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-this-sticky-crap-on-my-right-hand-ridiculous-paranoid-answers-only-please/558767.md?page=2)