# What's up with black people, dating, and marriage in adulthood? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 9, 2007, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126 "2007-10-09T18:37:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/51bf81/32.png) [@TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/1 "2007-10-09T18:37:34Z")
I’m obsessed with black people, mainly because I am not one and because their culture is always present but separate from mainstream white culture. I was talking to my black coworker the other day about marriage and dating in black culture, especially in adulthood (he’s in his mid-thirties and has never been married). He claims that it’s a total wasteland for middle-class black adults after about age 25 - there simply aren’t women around that aren’t “hos” (the type of promiscuous/party girl you’d meet at “the club”), “damaged goods” (had a kid when they were a teenager, now have two or three kids from different fathers at age 35’ish), or those that are undesirable physically and/or personality-wise. He scours tons of personal sites and tries, but he said it’s just a total wasteland, and that that’s what it’s like for blacks all over. Why is this? Is this mainly an urban phenomenon? It’s true that you don’t seen to see as many married black couples, and almost any black guy I’ve known in his twenties or thirties was single. What’s up with that? ---
**Author:** ![lobstermobster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobstermobster/32/10033_2.png) [@lobstermobster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobstermobster)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/2 "2007-10-09T18:42:43Z")
oh my god I cannot wait for this shit to start going down! I love you, VCO3! ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/3 "2007-10-09T18:44:22Z")
Should I just go open the Pit thread now in anticipation? ---
**Author:** ![Dag\_Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/4 "2007-10-09T18:45:44Z")
[QUOTE=VCO3] What’s up with that? [/QUOTE] All the hot chicks are out camping. ---
**Author:** ![fluiddruid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@fluiddruid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fluiddruid)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/5 "2007-10-09T18:47:29Z")
[QUOTE=Otto] Should I just go open the Pit thread now in anticipation? [/QUOTE] You know, I think let’s just cut things off at the pass and move this thread directly to the Pit. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/6 "2007-10-09T18:49:12Z")
[QUOTE=Otto] Should I just go open the Pit thread now in anticipation? [/QUOTE] I’m sure the last one’s not a zombie thread yet. Still fresh and ripe. We could just keep recycling that one. Environmentally friendly, and easier on the mods. Maybe we could even talk \*\*SkipMagic \*\*into making it a sticky. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/7 "2007-10-09T18:51:00Z")
I don’t think it is an invalid or forbidden topic. This subject gets covered in mainstream news magazines and studies pretty regularly. However, it is usually told from the black female perspective and the difficulties in finding a male to get married and have children with for the long-term. The premise is basically true so I don’t see why the Pit should factor into things. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/8 "2007-10-09T18:52:24Z")
Thank you, Jesus. ---
**Author:** ![DudleyGarrett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DudleyGarrett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DudleyGarrett)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/9 "2007-10-09T18:53:54Z")
[Typical Doper]You’re a hateful racist, VCO3. You’ll get your comeuppance one day, and you’re everything that is wrong with America!!! DIE NAZI SCUM!!![/Typical Doper] ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/10 "2007-10-09T18:55:36Z")
I’m sure this was another of your posts hoping to garner outrage, but I’m going to try to answer you without assuming you’re an utter retard: My experience contradicts yours. Pretty much every black guy I’ve known over 30 is married (to black women who didn’t have kids as teenagers). I live in an urban area with a very high percentage of African-Americans in the population. Maybe the problem with your friend is that he’s an asshole who buys into stereotypes about black women, and that’s why he can’t find a date. That’s what it sounds like to me, anyway. p.s. Have you ever noticed white people in the rain smell like wet dogs? What’s up with _that_? ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/11 "2007-10-09T18:55:45Z")
George Bush. Or failing that, Bill Clinton. ---
**Author:** ![Sarahfeena](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarahfeena/32/519_2.png) [@Sarahfeena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarahfeena)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/12 "2007-10-09T18:56:42Z")
Seriously, **VCO3** , if you are this fascinated with Black culture, I suggest you get to know a few more black people…get to know them really well…and have some dialogue with them on these issues. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/13 "2007-10-09T18:57:06Z")
[QUOTE=Liberal] George Bush. Or failing that, Bill Clinton. [/QUOTE] Come now. Pierre Trudeau. ---
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/14 "2007-10-09T18:58:19Z")
[QUOTE=DudleyGarrett] [Typical Doper]You’re a hateful racist, VCO3. You’ll get your comeuppance one day, and you’re everything that is wrong with America!!! DIE NAZI SCUM!!![/Typical Doper] [/QUOTE] [DudleyGarrett]I am an idiot and I got nothin’[/DudleyGarrett] ---
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/15 "2007-10-09T18:59:58Z")
[QUOTE=DudleyGarrett] [Typical Doper]You’re a hateful racist, VCO3. You’ll get your comeuppance one day, and you’re everything that is wrong with America!!! DIE NAZI SCUM!!![/Typical Doper] [/QUOTE] [TypicalDudleyGarrett] Even though i’m not that interested in this issue at all, I just feel like stopping in to say the board sucks. Also the people on it suck. Did I mention the board sucks? [/TypicalDudleyGarrett]. Edit: Curse you, **askeptic**! ---
**Author:** ![fisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@fisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fisha)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/16 "2007-10-09T19:01:32Z")
[QUOTE=Dag Otto] All the hot chicks are out camping. [/QUOTE] That was so good, it made me cry. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![DudleyGarrett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DudleyGarrett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DudleyGarrett)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/17 "2007-10-09T19:03:06Z")
[QUOTE=Revenant Threshold] [TypicalDudleyGarrett] Even though i’m not that interested in this issue at all, I just feel like stopping in to say the board sucks. Also the people on it suck. Did I mention the board sucks? [/TypicalDudleyGarrett. [/QUOTE] No, that’s not what I’m implying. The atypical Doper is the reason why I come here. The typical anti-OP pile-onners are just about to show up and decry everything the OP’er types as hate speech. It’s nice that I’ve hooked two already. Shouldn’t you morons be vilifying VCO3 calling him a klansman about now? ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/18 "2007-10-09T19:05:03Z")
[QUOTE=DudleyGarrett] Shouldn’t you morons be vilifying VCO3 calling him a klansman about now? [/QUOTE] Well, no. You’re doing a bang-up job of being even more of an idiot than the OP. ---
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/19 "2007-10-09T19:06:24Z")
[QUOTE=DudleyGarrett] No, that’s not what I’m implying. The atypical Doper is the reason why I come here. The typical anti-OP pile-onners are just about to show up and decry everything the OP’er types as hate speech. [/quote] Fear not; I certainly have grasped that you are not all that impressed by the typical Doper. > [@](#): > > It’s nice that I’ve hooked two already. Shouldn’t you morons be vilifying VCO3 calling him a klansman about now? Interesting. I don’t recall my post saying anything that would indicate i’m a “typical anti-OP pile-onner”. What leads you to that conclusion, sir? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/20 "2007-10-09T19:06:40Z")
Hmm, among middle-aged blacks, all the good ones are taken. How does this differ from people of other races? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126.md?page=2)