# What's up with black people, dating, and marriage in adulthood? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 9, 2007, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126 "2007-10-09T18:37:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![DudleyGarrett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DudleyGarrett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DudleyGarrett)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/21 "2007-10-09T19:07:56Z")
[QUOTE=Bosstone] Well, no. You’re doing a bang-up job of being even more of an idiot than the OP. [/QUOTE] So the OP is an idiot because he asked a question about black culture based on behavior he’s noticed and dialogue he shared with a black person? And I’m an idiot for pointing just how fucking stupid people like you are? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/22 "2007-10-09T19:08:59Z")
> [@](#): > > Have you ever noticed white people in the rain smell like wet dogs? What’s up with that? It’s the cardigans we wear, made out of spun dog hair from our Golden Labs. Except in our case – ours are made from cat fur. ---
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/23 "2007-10-09T19:09:26Z")
[QUOTE=DudleyGarrett] It’s nice that I’ve hooked two already. Shouldn’t you morons be vilifying VCO3 calling him a klansman about now? [/QUOTE] Since no one has done that doesn’t that make you the moron? I like the tactic you used, claiming victory for being called an idiot. You must be victorious often… ---
**Author:** ![DudleyGarrett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DudleyGarrett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DudleyGarrett)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/24 "2007-10-09T19:13:15Z")
[QUOTE=Revenant Threshold] Fear not; I certainly have grasped that you are not all that impressed by the typical Doper. Interesting. I don’t recall my post saying anything that would indicate i’m a “typical anti-OP pile-onner”. What leads you to that conclusion, sir? [/QUOTE] Well, first, you misconstrued “typical” to mean “all.” Second, when someone brings up a controversial topic, there is always a slew of posts shortly thereafter condemning the OP of some sort of blanket discrimination tactic (racist, sexist, misogynist, ageist, what have you), and frankly it’s fucking lame and tired. Look at the thread about Jews. It didn’t take very long for a question to turned around and the OP to be accused of being anti-Semitic, both directly and indirectly. Talk about the topic without getting so fucking defensive. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/25 "2007-10-09T19:15:30Z")
[QUOTE=DudleyGarrett] And I’m an idiot for pointing just how fucking stupid people like you are? :dubious: [/QUOTE] Mm..yep, pretty much. You’re a hyper little yappy dog who would just love to tear our throats out if you could only get above toe height. I mean, damn, you really think you’re being witty and perceptive, don’t you? ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/26 "2007-10-09T19:17:18Z")
[QUOTE=DudleyGarrett] So the OP is an idiot because he asked a question about black culture based on behavior he’s noticed and dialogue he shared with a black person? [/QUOTE] Actually, he’s an idiot for being a troll who starts thread after thread on various variations of “Why don’t black people do X?”. ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/27 "2007-10-09T19:18:08Z")
[QUOTE=DudleyGarrett] So the OP is an idiot because he asked a question about black culture based on behavior he’s noticed and dialogue he shared with a black person? And I’m an idiot for pointing just how fucking stupid people like you are? :dubious: [/QUOTE] Oh, you’re an idiot for many more reasons than just that. In fact, just in this post, I can find 3 examples: 1. You don’t see why it’s stupid to assign behavior to black culture in general based on one conversation and one individual’s limited experience (“You don’t see as many married black couples”? How the hell would you know if they’re married or not just by looking at them?); 2. You think you’re being called an idiot for pointing out how stupid other posters are, when you in fact did no such thing (not to satisfy anybody with an ounce of logical thinking capabilities, anyway); and 3. You used a fucking smiley, making you as big a retard as those on this board you denounce. ETA: p.s. The OP didn’t offend me; it’s usually healthy to talk about race, especially when it helps dispel myths. There is still a pretty high level of generalizing (and hence ignorance) in the post, though. ---
**Author:** ![DudleyGarrett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DudleyGarrett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DudleyGarrett)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/28 "2007-10-09T19:19:44Z")
[QUOTE=Priceguy] Actually, he’s an idiot for being a troll who starts thread after thread on various variations of “Why don’t black people do X?”. [/QUOTE] I don’t see how he’s a troll. Admittedly, the way he asked the question is a little less than tactful and kind of makes me wonder if he really believes that because someone’s skin is black that they’re participants the proverbial “black culture.” Either he’s trolling or his idea of “black” is pretty limited. ---
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/29 "2007-10-09T19:20:16Z")
[QUOTE=DudleyGarrett] Well, first, you misconstrued “typical” to mean “all.” [/quote] No, I got that. I merely chose to employ hyperbole, and not much of it at that, since I didn’t say “all”. My worst piece of hyperbole was me mockingly suggesting you think the people on here as a whole suck. Your worst piece was in saying the typical Doper likes calling **VCO3** a Nazi and issuing death threats to him. That said, I apologise for my hyperbole. > [@](#): > > Second, when someone brings up a controversial topic, there is always a slew of posts shortly thereafter condemning the OP of some sort of blanket discrimination tactic (racist, sexist, misogynist, ageist, what have you), and frankly it’s fucking lame and tired. Look at the thread about Jews. It didn’t take very long for a question to turned around and the OP to be accused of being anti-Semitic, both directly and indirectly. But \*I \* did not condemn the OP. I’m with you on the tendency for some to kneejerk a mentioning of certain groups as prejudice towards those groups. But I don’t see how you got that my post was one of those; it was about you, not about **VCO3**. > [@](#): > > Talk about the topic without getting so fucking defensive. But I haven’t been defensive; I haven’t addressed the topic in this thread at all, in fact. And I haven’t resorted to swearing when questioned as to my intentions; perhaps you should take your own advice. Anyway, what was it that made you add me to the “typical anti-OP pile-onner” group? ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/30 "2007-10-09T19:20:50Z")
I’m pretty disappointed. Couple weeks back, **DudleyGarrett** got all incensed about something I wrote, called it the stupidest thing he’s aver seen, name calling blah blah… Closest I ever came to being Pitted, and I felt a little special. Now, it seems so empty. As for the OP, I get the question and can see where it would offend and bother people to be asked. But I can also see where someone with more limited life experience would ask it. I agree with \*\*Sarahfeena \*\*- get out and get to more people of all races. ---
**Author:** ![DudleyGarrett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DudleyGarrett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DudleyGarrett)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/31 "2007-10-09T19:22:10Z")
[QUOTE=woodstockbirdybird] 1. You don’t see why it’s stupid to assign behavior to black culture in general based on one conversation and one individual’s limited experience (“You don’t see as many married black couples”? How the hell would you know if they’re married or not just by looking at them?); [/quote] I don’t see where he assigned anything. The manner in which he asked the question showed his limitations, but I think discussing the differences within cultures is always reasonable… that is, until people begin getting defensive. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/32 "2007-10-09T19:23:18Z")
[QUOTE=VCO3] Why is this? Is this mainly an urban phenomenon? What’s up with that? [/QUOTE] Urban? It’s possible. But then again most people I know that live in urban areas are single. Married couples (black and white) that want to start a faimly tend to migrate towards the suburbs. My part of town is packed with a 50/50 mix of white and black couples with kids in single family homes. But it is true once you go into the city and find people that live there, the majority of them are single. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/41988e/32.png) [@El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Cid_Viscoso)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/33 "2007-10-09T19:23:21Z")
[QUOTE=Bosstone] I mean, damn, you really think you’re being witty and perceptive, don’t you? [/QUOTE] He actually makes a pretty good point but you might’ve missed it. > [@DudleyGarrett](#): > > Second, when someone brings up a controversial topic, there is always a slew of posts shortly thereafter condemning the OP of some sort of blanket discrimination tactic (racist, sexist, misogynist, ageist, what have you), and frankly it’s fucking lame and tired. Look at the thread about Jews. It didn’t take very long for a question to turned around and the OP to be accused of being anti-Semitic, both directly and indirectly. BTW **Dudley** , I took your first post as parody and it made me laugh. ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/34 "2007-10-09T19:23:35Z")
[QUOTE=DudleyGarrett] Either he’s trolling or his idea of “black” is pretty limited. [/QUOTE] If it were the latter, he would have got it by now. Ergo, he’s trolling. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/35 "2007-10-09T19:24:25Z")
[QUOTE=Revenant Threshold] Anyway, what was it that made you add me to the “typical anti-OP pile-onner” group? [/QUOTE] Because if you get annoyed, clearly he must have struck home. Otherwise you’d be alongside him shouting “Hell yeah, stick it to the Typical Doper!” Anyway, I’m not really incensed by the OP myself. It sounds like he’s trying hard to be one of those mediocre stand-up comics. “What is the deal with black people? Black people date like this and white people date like this! You’ll never see a black guy camping, why is that?” ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/36 "2007-10-09T19:25:37Z")
[QUOTE=DudleyGarrett] I don’t see where he assigned anything. The manner in which he asked the question showed his limitations, but I think discussing the differences within cultures is always reasonable… that is, until people begin getting defensive. [/QUOTE] And yet, nobody had gotten defensive when you posted your little diatribe. Which brings us to reason #4. Shall we keep going? ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/37 "2007-10-09T19:26:18Z")
Who is this “typical Doper” we speak of? What magazines will you find on his coffee table? What brand of car does he drive? What blend of tobacco does he smoke in his pipe? And what brand of aftershave does he use after shaving his scrotum? ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/38 "2007-10-09T19:26:59Z")
[QUOTE=El Cid Viscoso] He actually makes a pretty good point but you might’ve missed it. [/quote] There’s some truth there, I’ll grant, but he overstates the matter by saying typical Dopers engage in it. Besides, what he’s doing (and this is the second thread he’s done it in so far that I’ve seen) is more effective at hijacking a thread than the behavior he’s picketing against. ---
**Author:** ![DudleyGarrett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DudleyGarrett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DudleyGarrett)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/39 "2007-10-09T19:28:09Z")
[QUOTE=Revenant Threshold] No, I got that. I merely chose to employ hyperbole, and not much of it at that, since I didn’t say “all”. My worst piece of hyperbole was me mockingly suggesting you think the people on here as a whole suck. Your worst piece was in saying the typical Doper likes calling **VCO3** a Nazi and issuing death threats to him. That said, I apologise for my hyperbole. But \*I \* did not condemn the OP. I’m with you on the tendency for some to kneejerk a mentioning of certain groups as prejudice towards those groups. But I don’t see how you got that my post was one of those; it was about you, not about **VCO3**. But I haven’t been defensive; I haven’t addressed the topic in this thread at all, in fact. And I haven’t resorted to swearing when questioned as to my intentions; perhaps you should take your own advice. Anyway, what was it that made you add me to the “typical anti-OP pile-onner” group? [/QUOTE] Based on the fact that you replied to my initial post in this thread (which didn’t directly address you in any way), my assumption was that you felt you needed to answer – to be the spokesman – for those I was ridiculing in said post. In other words, if you’re not one of the knee-jerk morons with which this board is littered, why did you feel the need to condemn my post? ---
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/40 "2007-10-09T19:29:13Z")
[QUOTE=Revenant Threshold] [TypicalDudleyGarrett] Even though i’m not that interested in this issue at all, I just feel like stopping in to say the board sucks. Also the people on it suck. Did I mention the board sucks? [/TypicalDudleyGarrett]. Edit: Curse you, **askeptic**! [/QUOTE] I beg you’re pardon? I sir, lick. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126.md?page=3)