# What's up with black people, dating, and marriage in adulthood? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 9, 2007, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126 "2007-10-09T18:37:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![athelas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@athelas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/athelas)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/81 "2007-10-09T21:41:38Z")
Whoa, you’re destroying the Ur-world? I feel sorry for all the ziggurats. ---
**Author:** ![brazil84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@brazil84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brazil84)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/82 "2007-10-09T21:45:42Z")
My guess is that it’s true for whites too. That it’s hard to find a white woman over 30 who is attractive, never married, childless, and not a psycho. If I were a 35 year old guy of any race who was looking to get married, I would focus on women who were still in their 20s. ---
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/83 "2007-10-09T21:47:50Z")
I wonder what happens if you actually have an honest question about another culture and their alleged stereotypes? Actually, no I don’t. It’s pretty obvious. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/84 "2007-10-09T21:48:44Z")
[QUOTE=Cervaise] Not enough bling. [/QUOTE] Fo’ shizzle dat. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/85 "2007-10-09T21:55:06Z")
[QUOTE=brazil84] My guess is that it’s true for whites too. That it’s hard to find a white woman over 30 who is attractive, never married, childless, and not a psycho. If I were a 35 year old guy of any race who was looking to get married, I would focus on women who were still in their 20s. [/QUOTE] It’s hard to find a man over 30 who isn’t divorced and/or has a kid. Like looking for a needle in a fucking haystack. White men over 30 are pretty much falling into VC03’s categories of damaged goods, has kids, or is a dog. I’m guessing it’s the human condition. Framing it as an issue with black women is missing the point entirely. Dating fucking sucks. End of story. ---
**Author:** ![lobstermobster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobstermobster/32/10033_2.png) [@lobstermobster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobstermobster)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/86 "2007-10-09T22:02:56Z")
of course its “been done” That response is not really fun for those of us who just recently starting paying attention at this place. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/87 "2007-10-09T22:03:46Z")
[QUOTE=buttonjockey308] I wonder what happens if you actually have an honest question about another culture and their alleged stereotypes? Actually, no I don’t. It’s pretty obvious. [/QUOTE] In my experience, racial questions on the SDMB then to be treated about as seriously and respectfully as they’re posed. There have been plenty of questions about racial stereotypes that turned into (relatively) rational and civil discussions. But when you’re a poster known for making bizarre, over-the-top pronouncements, and you lead off your OP with “I’m obsessed with black people”…I’m honestly surprised he’s been flamed as little as he has here. ---
**Author:** ![brazil84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@brazil84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brazil84)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/88 "2007-10-09T22:04:17Z")
[QUOTE=Rubystreak] It’s hard to find a man over 30 who isn’t divorced and/or has a kid. [/quote] And who is otherwise acceptable. There are some guys in their early 30s who have waited while they establish themselves, but competition is quite fierce for them. > [@](#): > > Dating fucking sucks. End of story. That’s probably true as one gets older. If you are between 20 and 25, I think it’s a lot easier to find people your own age who are childless, never married, not crazy, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/89 "2007-10-09T22:14:30Z")
[QUOTE=Grey] Mulroney. Canadians blame things on Mulroney ya big newbie! 😃 [/QUOTE] **Frank** is obviously an honourary Westerner. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/90 "2007-10-09T22:17:10Z")
[QUOTE=Rubystreak] White men over 30 are pretty much falling into VC03’s categories of damaged goods, has kids, or is a dog. [/QUOTE] I’m over thirty, am a kid, and have a dog. Pretty much works out to the same thing. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/91 "2007-10-09T22:18:05Z")
[QUOTE=Omega Glory] So you’re saying you want him to start a series of threads on why black women do/don’t do \_\_\_\_\_\_ in bed? [/QUOTE] Do you know how much money I would pay for that? Well, as it turns out, just a bit under eight dollars. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/92 "2007-10-09T22:23:34Z")
I for one think it’s time to stop getting all outraged at **VC03’s** OPs and just take them at face value. If I were him, I would be getting seriously pissed off at everyone always assuming that I’m trolling and looking to pick fights. He may well be a troll; when he gets banned, we’ll all know for sure then. Until then, I think we should just treat his OPs like everyone else’s - if you’re not interested, don’t post, and if you are, address the OP instead of instantly hijacking it into yet another “Oh god, VC03’s at it again, rolleyes rolleyes rolleyes.” I don’t know anything about American Black culture except what I see on tv - I’m curious about it, too. I’d like to see _that_ discussed, instead of VCO3 yet again. ---
**Author:** ![Kneepants\_Erasmus\_the\_Humanist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/54ee81/32.png) [@Kneepants\_Erasmus\_the\_Humanist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kneepants_Erasmus_the_Humanist)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/93 "2007-10-09T22:29:20Z")
I think our friend has demonstrated a great way to surreptitiously keep ridiculous stereotypes alive! What you do is: 1. Think up the most clichéd stereotypes possible. 2. You can’t admit that you think these things are true! What would the neighbors think? Just attribute the quotes to “a friend” who happens to be of the group you wish to stereotype. 3. This “friend” is a member of the group in question and, thus, cannot lie. Pretend to be appalled, but resigned, and seek corroboration. Let’s try to come up with an fun example! " So, I was talking to my gay friend the other day, and we started chatting about children. He (my gay friend) told me that all gay people enjoy raping children and they plan to take over the world via indoctrination. I said “NO, gay friend, that cannot be true!..or can it?” My gay friend assured me that this was very true. He is gay, so he would know. What’s up with that?" I shall use this technique as often as possible. Thanks **VCO3**!!! ---
**Author:** ![marshmallow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@marshmallow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marshmallow)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/94 "2007-10-09T22:33:30Z")
[QUOTE=Duke of Rat] It’s been done. Not sure how to search for it since “tip” is too short for the search filters, but it’s been done, pretty sure of it. [/QUOTE] Yes. IIRC, the OP was a pizza delivery guy who said he hated delivering to the black neighborhoods because he knew he’d get horrible tips. Oh the glee which followed. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/95 "2007-10-09T22:36:25Z")
> [@Dag Otto](#): > > All the hot chicks are out camping. [QUOTE=John Mace] And they’re so damn loud, too. Why is that? [/QUOTE] Matin’ call: COLT 45! Chicken! Booty! ---
**Author:** ![TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/51bf81/32.png) [@TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/96 "2007-10-09T23:15:06Z")
There’s absolutely no reason this thread should be in the pit and I won’t dignify it with posts as long as it remains here. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/97 "2007-10-09T23:17:14Z")
Thank goodness that’s over, then. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/98 "2007-10-09T23:17:28Z")
[QUOTE=VCO3] There’s absolutely no reason this thread should be in the pit and I won’t dignify it with posts as long as it remains here. [/QUOTE] Precious little danger of you dignifying a thread wherever it is, Bucko. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/99 "2007-10-09T23:33:26Z")
[QUOTE=Kneepants Erasmus, the Humanist] 3. This “friend” is a member of the group in question and, thus, cannot lie. Pretend to be appalled, but resigned, and seek corroboration. Let’s try to come up with an fun example! " So, I was talking to my gay friend the other day, and we started chatting about children. He (my gay friend) told me that all gay people enjoy raping children and they plan to take over the world via indoctrination. I said “NO, gay friend, that cannot be true!..or can it?” My gay friend assured me that this was very true. He is gay, so he would know. What’s up with that?" [/QUOTE] God, this isn’t even farfetched. There was a thread recently where someone said all his gay friends were total sluts who would sleep with whatever they could stick their dick in, male, female, whatever. People actually defended that comment because it was just that one guy’s personal experience from watching his friends, so no one could dispute it or argue with it… even though he was universalizing from it about why you can’t trust gay men in any remotely sexual situation. A tried and true rhetorical tactic, this is, not a joke at all. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2007, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/100 "2007-10-09T23:34:58Z")
[QUOTE=VCO3] There’s absolutely no reason this thread should be in the pit and I won’t dignify it with posts as long as it remains here. [/QUOTE] Does this post count? Anyway, I’m with **featherlou**. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126.md?page=6)