# What's up with black people, dating, and marriage in adulthood? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 9, 2007, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126 "2007-10-09T18:37:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2007, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/161 "2007-10-10T18:16:23Z")
[QUOTE=TokyoPlayer] No. the OP was talking about his co-worker who was complaining about mothers with children from several different fathers. He did not say diddlyswat about if these women had never been married or serially married or whatever. The only person in this thread who is concerned about the marital status of the mother at the time the child is born is you. Who gives a flying fuck about that? [/QUOTE] What you have failed to recognize again is that I never said I gave a fuck about it at all. No where. No where at all did I say I give a fuck about a married status of a mom. Or a person’s color. Or their education level. I just brought it up because people were arguing from their asses. Are you capable of reading a statement like “black people have lower education levels than white people” without making a judgement about the person typing it? If not, this probably isn’t the place for you. If you think I’m conservative/christian/“family values” oriented or anything else in that kind of grouping, you’re so fucking far off base, you’re in Japan. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2007, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/162 "2007-10-10T18:19:14Z")
[QUOTE=Trunk] you’re so fucking far off base, you’re in Japan. [/QUOTE] _snerk_ I like both of you guys, but that was pretty funny. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2007, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/163 "2007-10-10T18:19:54Z")
[QUOTE=woodstockbirdybird] p.s. Have you ever noticed white people in the rain smell like wet dogs? What’s up with _that_? [/QUOTE] Oh GOD why won’t someone think of the dogs ??? ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2007, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/164 "2007-10-10T18:32:03Z")
[QUOTE=Trunk] What you have failed to recognize again is that I never said I gave a fuck about it at all. No where. No where at all did I say I give a fuck about a married status of a mom. Or a person’s color. Or their education level. I just brought it up because people were arguing from their asses. Are you capable of reading a statement like “black people have lower education levels than white people” without making a judgement about the person typing it? If not, this probably isn’t the place for you. [/quote] And what you have failed to realize, again, is that you have introduced the concept of the marriage status of the parents of the child. If you don’t care about that, why keep harping on it? If you cannot make the distinction between single mothers and mothers who were unmarried at the time of the birth, then perhaps this isn’t the place for you. > [@](#): > > If you think I’m conservative/christian/“family values” oriented or anything else in that kind of grouping, you’re so fucking far off base, you’re in Japan. Not that far off base. The closest one here is about an hour away. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2007, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/165 "2007-10-10T18:47:35Z")
> [@TokyaPlayer](#): > > And what you have failed to realize, again, is that you have introduced the concept of the marriage status of the parents of the child. I introduced the concept of marriage? So, when the OP wrote > [@](#): > > “damaged goods” (had a kid when they were a teenager, now have two or three kids from different fathers at age 35’ish) he was really talking about the women who got married and had kids in their teens, and have since been married two or three times, and had kids with all those different husbands. He wasn’t talking about out-of-wedlock births at all. > [@](#): > > If you don’t care about that, why keep harping on it? I PERSONALLY don’t care about whether some woman I meet who is 35 and single has a kid. All I ever cared about here was that people were falsely representing some the OP’s notions as stereotypes, when it was their own arguments that represented stereotypes and prejudices, albeit liberal ones. (and, I use “cared about” loosely. I’d much rather argue about icing the kicker.) ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2007, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/166 "2007-10-10T19:30:05Z")
OK, let’s review what’s happening here. You jump into this thread on post 133 [QUOTE=Trunk] > [@OneCent](#): > > I completely agree with your co-worker’s assessment of dating life. I am in my mid-thirties as well, and I find that the available women tend to fall into many of the same categories. All in all, I find that my dating experiences mirror his very closely. Really? You find a lot of white women in their mid 30’s with out-of-wedlock children? Do you think it’s anywhere near the rates for black women? [/quote] So, yes. You’ve introduced the concept of the marital state of the parents at the time of birth, unless you can find an earlier reference. It’s well-known that there are more babies born to unwed black parents than white parents in the States, but there are also more babies born to unwed Iceland parents than white US parents. The question not being asked or answered is how many more black single women in their 30s have children vs. white single women in the same situation. We can prove it’s more likely for the whites to have gotten their via divorce and that blacks are more likely to not have been married, but again, the status at the time of the birth is meaningless. There’s a lot of stupidity on this thread, as well as the black camping thread, but introducing yet another irrelevent factor will only get you into arguments with us literal people. ---
**Author:** ![Jolly\_Roger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/91b2a8/32.png) [@Jolly\_Roger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jolly_Roger)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2007, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/167 "2007-10-10T19:50:56Z")
Jesus Christ, VC03, next time I have a family reunion I’ll send ya an invite. Then you can ask all of the black people questions to your heart’s content. I’m black, I’m married, I drive a jeep and I like camping. I have a friend who is also black that likes to rock climb and go biking. I have a cousin (also black) that likes martial arts and motorcycling. My college roommate (black) is a fine artist. I worked with a guy (black) from texas and he was an honest to Gawd cowboy dude. He like riding horses and doing cowboy stuff that tenderfeet like me don’t understand. I don’t understand why black people fascinate you so much, but you might want to talk to more than one guy before you paint us all with one broad brush. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2007, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/168 "2007-10-10T20:34:20Z")
[QUOTE=Jolly Roger] Jesus Christ, VC03, next time I have a family reunion I’ll send ya an invite. Then you can ask all of the black people questions to your heart’s content. I’m black, I’m married, I drive a jeep and I like camping. I have a friend who is also black that likes to rock climb and go biking. I have a cousin (also black) that likes martial arts and motorcycling. My college roommate (black) is a fine artist. I worked with a guy (black) from texas and he was an honest to Gawd cowboy dude. He like riding horses and doing cowboy stuff that tenderfeet like me don’t understand. I don’t understand why black people fascinate you so much, but you might want to talk to more than one guy before you paint us all with one broad brush. [/QUOTE] Oooh, can I touch your hair? (I kid, [I kid](http://www.blackpeopleloveus.com/testimonials.html)) ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2007, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/169 "2007-10-10T21:55:55Z")
[QUOTE=Jolly Roger] I don’t understand why black people fascinate you so much, but you might want to talk to more than one guy before you paint us all with one broad brush. [/QUOTE] Hey, at least it isn’t a whitewash. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2007, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/170 "2007-10-10T22:27:27Z")
[QUOTE=Jolly Roger] Jesus Christ, VC03, next time I have a family reunion I’ll send ya an invite. Then you can ask all of the black people questions to your heart’s content. I’m black, I’m married, I drive a jeep and I like camping. I have a friend who is also black that likes to rock climb and go biking. I have a cousin (also black) that likes martial arts and motorcycling. My college roommate (black) is a fine artist. I worked with a guy (black) from texas and he was an honest to Gawd cowboy dude. He like riding horses and doing cowboy stuff that tenderfeet like me don’t understand. I don’t understand why black people fascinate you so much, but you might want to talk to more than one guy before you paint us all with one broad brush. [/QUOTE] Do you drink coffee? > [@](#): > > I applaud VCO3’s efforts to make the board more interesting. May I recommend additional topics for future discussions? We may debate and analyze the black perspective on: > > circumcision > obesity > outdoor vs. indoor cats > tipping > declawing one’s cat > female body image > transgender issues > foodies You forgot: Toilet Paper: over/under Kirk or Picard Miracle Whip Vs. Mayo. ---
**Author:** ![Omega\_Glory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/7c8e57/32.png) [@Omega\_Glory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omega_Glory)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2007, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/171 "2007-10-10T22:36:22Z")
[QUOTE=featherlou] Hey, sphincter-challenged does not necessarily equal psycho, man. **Omega** , I take your point, but to some degree, being able to talk about things like this is what makes this message board what it is. I will never know what it’s like to be a gay man, but I can read about “the gay experience” from people who are living it, and come away with a better understanding. I think the same holds true for questions about any other ethnicity/race/whatever. Maybe we have to start from the stereotypes and mis-conceptions, and move on from there. [/QUOTE] The topics can spark interesting discussions. That’s is why I enjoy the “Ask The” series of threads. Part of what rubs me the wrong way is the idea that there is **a** “\_\_\_ experience.” I’m not saying there aren’t cultural trends, but I think some people believe that there is more group cohesiveness than there really is in some cases. My “black experience” may line up closely with \*\*Lil’ Pluck’s \*\*, **Jali’s** , and a random black person whose never heard of the SDMB or it might be wildly dissimilar. It would be like asking ten people at a museum to describe the American experience. I know we have to work with what we’ve got here, though, and the threads are good for what they are. ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Black](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19b73/32.png) [@Red\_Black](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Black)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2007, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/172 "2007-10-10T23:10:52Z")
I’m also interested in the attitude in the OP towards women. “Damaged goods”? WTF. And the assumption that someone who likes to go to clubs and just might actually enjoy sex would not make a good partner. Misogyny much? ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2007, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/173 "2007-10-10T23:12:43Z")
I can’t believe no one has asked whether their turds are white. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2007, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/174 "2007-10-10T23:46:07Z")
[QUOTE=Shirley Ujest] You forgot: Toilet Paper: over/under Kirk or Picard Miracle Whip Vs. Mayo. [/QUOTE] Not to mention: Paul Verhoeven: ironic genius or abject hack for _Starship Troopers_? Paul Verhoeven: ironic genius or abject hack for _Showgirls_? Paul Verhoeven: ironic genius or abject hack for _Basic Instinct_? Paul Verhoeven: ironic genius or abject hack for _Total Recall_? You might say the man’s a lightning rod for SDMB controversy. Black people just don’t seem to get him. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2007, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/175 "2007-10-10T23:57:38Z")
[QUOTE=Jolly Roger] Jesus Christ, VC03, next time I have a family reunion I’ll send ya an invite. Then you can ask all of the black people questions to your heart’s content.\ [/QUOTE] Would you? That would be super. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Cymbeline](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_cymbeline/32/9244_2.png) [@Green\_Cymbeline](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Cymbeline)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2007, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/176 "2007-10-11T01:45:29Z")
[QUOTE=TokyoPlayer] the status at the time of the birth is meaningless. [/QUOTE] No it’s not meaningless. The fact that one ethnic group has an “out-of-wedlock” birth rate that is so much higher than other ethnic groups raises interesting questions about why. Is it a cultural thing? Is it related to education or income level? It’s very relevant. [Percentage of Births to Women Under Age 30 That Were Out of Wedlock, by Race/Ethnicity of Mother, United States: 2003-2004](http://www.ets.org/Media/Education_Topics/pdf/AmericasPerfectStorm.pdf#page=34) Black - 76.5 Mixed Race - 60.0 Hispanic - 46.1 White - 33.8 Asian - 16.3 ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2007, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/177 "2007-10-11T03:59:40Z")
It’s irrelevent to the discussion at hand, which is the percentage of single women in their 30s with kids. There are a large number of single parents out there. As posted above, a smaller percentage of _married_ black women have babies than unmarried white women, but more married white women get divorced. Thus, without further information we cannot make a judgement of the respective percentages. ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2007, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/178 "2007-10-11T04:17:50Z")
Kinda makes you wonder why “bastard” was ever an epithet. Obviously means nothing. ---
**Author:** ![pool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pool/32/4152_2.png) [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2007, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/179 "2007-10-11T04:18:47Z")
Maybe **VC03** is in fact Wolf Blitzer: [http://youtube.com/watch?v=qIO6eL70c7I](http://youtube.com/watch?v=qIO6eL70c7I) Is it just me or is that maybe the funniest clip ever? ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2007, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126/180 "2007-10-11T04:35:39Z")
[QUOTE=Omega Glory] Why do whites give their kids last names as first names? [/QUOTE] I’d like an answer to that. Honestly, who thinks “Mackenzie” is a nice name for a little girl? Are they fucking stupid? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-black-people-dating-and-marriage-in-adulthood/422126.md?page=10)