# What's up with men who urinate all over toilet seats? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [February 4, 2005, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-men-who-urinate-all-over-toilet-seats/288286 "2005-02-04T00:58:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2005, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-men-who-urinate-all-over-toilet-seats/288286/41 "2005-02-04T21:36:14Z")
Quoth **Shagnasty** : > [@](#): > > We haven’t even touched on the pee hard-on yet. These are generally only found when a man wakes up and finds his member locked in military attention but tragically it is caused by having more water pressure than the Hoover Dam waiting to be let loose. Most men’s erections point at a somewhat upward angle so we have some conflicting requirements in our hands. Pee hard-on’s can also result in split streams, deviating streams, wandering streams, and partially blocked streams. One of my life’s goals before I die is to tame one of my pee hard-on’s like a cowboy conquers a bronco but I have a sinking feeling that this is an elusive goal. Still I can dream. Most of this is false. First, the “morning wood” erection is completely unrelated to the need to urinate, and is actually due to sleep cycles: A healthy male will tumesce and detumesce many times during the night, and sometimes one happens to wake up while erect. Second, even with an erection, it’s still possible to angle the penis downwards enough to hit the bowl. Third, even if one can’t angle the penis downwards, one could still pee in the bowl by sitting down and leaning forward. Also, in response to **rjung** , it is certainly possible for a young boy to fully retract the foreskin, barring medical abnormalities which won’t just go away with age. And even in such cases, it’s also possible to aim the stream without retracting the foreskin. ---
**Author:** ![Stan\_Shmenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@Stan\_Shmenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stan_Shmenge)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2005, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-men-who-urinate-all-over-toilet-seats/288286/42 "2005-02-04T22:28:58Z")
“Where was this, by the way?” Public library with a large and little used restroom. Usually there is no more than one or two people in there, if any and there are four urinals and four sit down stalls. Another question- If someone is going to spary on the seat, why not pick one of the stalls that has already been sprayed, leaving the rest clean? It seems these sob’s always feel the need to pick a nice clean stall to deface. What are they thinking, that germs can swim upstream? Most of these putzes never flush either… ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2005, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-men-who-urinate-all-over-toilet-seats/288286/43 "2005-02-04T23:19:37Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Quoth **Shagnasty** :Most of this is false. First, the “morning wood” erection is completely unrelated to the need to urinate, and is actually due to sleep cycles: A healthy male will tumesce and detumesce many times during the night, and sometimes one happens to wake up while erect. Second, even with an erection, it’s still possible to angle the penis downwards enough to hit the bowl. Third, even if one can’t angle the penis downwards, one could still pee in the bowl by sitting down and leaning forward. I have to disagree **Chronos**. I know that I have had them and a “piss hard-on” and “pee hard-on” are phrases that I have heard all my life to back this up. Of course males get erections several times a night. However, a pee-hard on can lock the hard on in place in my experience. From this sexual dictionary site: [http://www.gaylib.com/text/misc11.htm](http://www.gaylib.com/text/misc11.htm) **Piss hard on - an erect penis caused by the need to urinate** Fron this site: [http://www.sextutorials.com/main/modules.php?op=modload&name=Sections&file=index&req=printpage&artid=41](http://www.sextutorials.com/main/modules.php?op=modload&name=Sections&file=index&req=printpage&artid=41) "The “pee hard-on” that men get in the morning is partially his body taking advantage of this reflex, to keep him from accidentally wetting the bed with the urine that built up while he was sleeping. " AND Oddly enough, there is an editorial about the problems of peeing with a pee hard-on. “Now all guys (over the age of 12 anyway) know about the dilemma of morning wood. Although there are many problems attached to waking up with a raging hard on. However I will discuss what some would say is the most urgent of them. The need to take your morning piss while hard. For those of you who don’t know, it is nearly impossible to piss while hard. This problem is enhanced by the fact toilets are so low. The most common solution is to stand as far back as possible from the toilet, however this has a large risk factor attached as it is much harder to aim from a position such as this. Or if you are lucky enough to be able to do this, you can just go outside and piss freely in all directions (trust me it’s great), however if you live in a city this isn’t advised as someone could lose an eye. However there is one solution I have come upon by chance.” [http://www.ubersite.com/m/17575](http://www.ubersite.com/m/17575) ---
**Author:** ![prisoner6655321](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5f8ce5/32.png) [@prisoner6655321](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/prisoner6655321)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-men-who-urinate-all-over-toilet-seats/288286/44 "2005-02-05T01:14:53Z")
For all the people that think it’s something to do with being a germiphobe, I’ve noticed that guys that pee on the seats are generally the same people that don’t wash their hands. So I think it’s more along the lines of NOT being a germiphobe. More like being a germ bully. Like they want the rest of the world to “get over” _their_ germiphobia. They love forcing their germs down people’s throats. Hey! If you don’t want me to get on your case about homosexuality, don’t get on my case about germiphobia! Like people have a right to love who they want, I have a right to stay clean! Not that I’m saying homosexuals are germ bullies. But the same people (that might or might not be homosexuals) that berate others for germiphobia also tend to berate others for being yucked out by homosexuality. Hypocrites. ---
**Author:** ![Augie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@Augie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Augie)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-men-who-urinate-all-over-toilet-seats/288286/45 "2005-02-05T05:33:23Z")
oh, a public library! I figure someone got shushed once too often. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 8:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-men-who-urinate-all-over-toilet-seats/288286/46 "2005-02-05T08:47:03Z")
This really should be in the PIT so that I can express my true feelings about such assholes. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-men-who-urinate-all-over-toilet-seats/288286/47 "2005-02-05T16:12:54Z")
> [@scm1001](#): > > I second this one being a chronic sufferer. Always having to wipe up all sorts of surfaces after a visit. I will have to set up a support group. hmmm need a catchy name! Split Pee Group? ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-men-who-urinate-all-over-toilet-seats/288286/48 "2005-02-05T16:29:22Z")
I’m happy if I hit the seat because I don’t like to actually go in the cubical. ---
**Author:** ![RumMunkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b19c9b/32.png) [@RumMunkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RumMunkey)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-men-who-urinate-all-over-toilet-seats/288286/49 "2005-02-05T17:14:19Z")
> [@](#): > > Also note that sometimes, if there’s a bit of skin over the opening of the penis (the name of which escapes me at the moment), it might cause the urine stream to go in an unintended direction, making a bigger mess. **This problem is pronounced for men who are uncircumcised, for obvious reasons.** Cite? ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-men-who-urinate-all-over-toilet-seats/288286/50 "2005-02-05T17:22:03Z")
Experience has taught me the most flawless aim still cannot entirely mitigate the effects of splash. In fact, it might even exacerbate it, as a concentrated high-velocity bolt aimed almost anywhere in the bowl is likely to eject a fair amount of urine-laden mist. This can be a problem for neighboring fixtures, perhaps even moreso if the seat has been raised. I’m becoming increasingly resigned to the possibility that undesirable ricochet or ejecta us unavoidable unless we all sit down. ---
**Author:** ![David\_Simmons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9de053/32.png) [@David\_Simmons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/David_Simmons)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-men-who-urinate-all-over-toilet-seats/288286/51 "2005-02-05T18:11:05Z")
They are slobs. But men aren’t the only slobs. As one who was a janitor in a movie theater I can tell you that the men’s room was no worse than the women’s. > [@Loopydude](#): > > Experience has taught me the most flawless aim still cannot entirely mitigate the effects of splash. In fact, it might even exacerbate it, as a concentrated high-velocity bolt aimed almost anywhere in the bowl is likely to eject a fair amount of urine-laden mist. This can be a problem for neighboring fixtures, perhaps even moreso if the seat has been raised. I’m becoming increasingly resigned to the possibility that undesirable ricochet or ejecta us unavoidable unless we all sit down. In the words of that boyhood rhyme: "No matter how you wiggle and dance, The last drop always goes in your pants." Or the floor, or the toilet seat if you’re careless enough not to put it up. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2005, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-men-who-urinate-all-over-toilet-seats/288286/52 "2005-02-06T03:32:33Z")
> [@Patty O'Furniture](#): > > Men are lazy pigs, would be my guess. -cough- My wife and teenager daughter are forever complaining upon coming out of a womens’ room, about the filth and amount of urine on the seat. This is G.Q. , and so not only is your post not factual, it doesn’t even stand up to anecdotal evidence from the women in my life… May well be germophobia. I have to admit- I use my shoe. I hook it under the seat, lift up and push away towards the wall. The seat stays put, I do what I came in there to do, and then tip the seat back down flat…with my shoe. I don’t touch the sitting area of course, I hook my foot under the underneath edge, and lift. Works well. Leaves no mess or footprints. Keeps my HANDS off the toilet seat. Cartooniverse, who never ceases to be amazed at the things he shares on SDMB… ---
**Author:** ![Glassy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ea666f/32.png) [@Glassy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glassy)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2005, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-men-who-urinate-all-over-toilet-seats/288286/53 "2005-02-06T04:43:29Z")
> [@1920s Style "Death Ray"](#): > > Not to mention that sometimes the eye of the penis may be stuck together in the middle (with various bodily fluids generally) this can strike circumsized and uncircumsized men and causes the stream to split. It is normally only possible to get one of the streams into the bowl, for those without the bladder control required to stop midstream, a quick decision must be made about which stream contains the most urine. Really?? Because I did not know this. (Uh, I’m a woman.) I would think that a guy, peeing into a toilet and suddenly confronted with widely divergent streams, would \*sit down \* so as to contain the problem. But that’s just me. Oh, and by the way, I have no idea how women get so much piss on toilet seats. It’s a common phenomenon, which I don’t understand. The hole in the top of the toilet is easily large enough to accomodate whatever is coming out of a girl, even if she’s hovering above it. IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![prisoner6655321](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5f8ce5/32.png) [@prisoner6655321](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/prisoner6655321)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2005, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-men-who-urinate-all-over-toilet-seats/288286/54 "2005-02-06T06:10:09Z")
> [@Glassy](#): > > I would think that a guy, peeing into a toilet and suddenly confronted with widely divergent streams, would \*sit down \* so as to contain the problem. But that’s just me. Well of course you can’t sit down! There’s pee on the seat! Besides, by the time you see that you’ve got “divergent” streams, the damage is already done. ---
**Author:** ![alterego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6bbea6/32.png) [@alterego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alterego)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2005, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-men-who-urinate-all-over-toilet-seats/288286/55 "2005-02-06T06:16:54Z")
Because pissing inside the line several times a day for two decades got boring, so I decided to try pissing _on_ the line. ---
**Author:** ![Huerta88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/82dd89/32.png) [@Huerta88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Huerta88)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2005, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-men-who-urinate-all-over-toilet-seats/288286/56 "2005-02-06T07:07:35Z")
1. The problem probably compounds itself. Something splashes on the seat, then the next guy doesn’t want to touch the seat to lift it up, so more gets on it, etc. Especially with the common public-toilet seats that are open in the front, I guess you could kid yourself that with careful aim, you might not splash the seat, so why touch an already-wet seat? In public restrooms, I’ve taken to bringing a wet paper towel in with me, wiping the seat down, then drying it anyhow. 2. As a former janitor I will vouch for the fact that we thought the women’s rooms were worse – and it is not just because of the carelessly-discarded feminine products and dirty diapers often left behind, although those aren’t pleasant either. 3. Apparently little boys are not too bright about lifting up the toilet seat when they’re in a hurry. I was always uncomprehending when I started hearing the stupid debate about men irritating women by leaving the toilet seat up, because in our mostly-male household when I was a kid, the injunction we were constantly receiving was to lift it and leave it up unless we really needed it down. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2005, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-men-who-urinate-all-over-toilet-seats/288286/57 "2005-02-06T08:07:07Z")
> [@Glassy](#): > > I would think that a guy, peeing into a toilet and suddenly confronted with widely divergent streams, would \*sit down \* so as to contain the problem. Sometimes, once you’ve got the plumbing going, it’s damn hard to stop it until it’s done… ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2005, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-men-who-urinate-all-over-toilet-seats/288286/58 "2005-02-06T19:45:27Z")
> [@](#): > > I would think that a guy, peeing into a toilet and suddenly confronted with widely divergent streams, would sit down so as to contain the problem. But that’s just me. Not generally possible. A man can typically interrupt the stream for a few seconds, but I would not trust myself to change position so drastically while doing so. When a man stands to pee, he generally passes his penis through the fly of his underpants. To sit down, though, one pulls the underpants down to the knees or ankles. Changing positions, then, would require unbuttoning the pants fly, passing the penis back into the underpants fly, lowering both garments, and turning around. This would be extremely risky, especially since it would entain letting go of a pinch grip on the penis (one of the measures used to stop the flow in the first place), and if it failed, you’d get pee all over the place, including prodigious amounts in your pants. The simple solution to the split stream problem can unfortunately exacerbate the mess. One can usually reuinte the streams by a spurt of higher pressure, but this will mean that the stream goes further. Perhaps more viably, one can lean forward some. Of the two streams, one is typically high pressure and goes wherever it’s aimed, while the other is lower pressure and mostly just goes down. If one leans over the bowl and aims straight down, one can generally get both streams into the bowl. Of course, the simplest solution to the mess problem, regardless of how it arises, is to just clean up after yourself if you make a mess. You’re going to be washing your hands afterwards anyway, so just take a wad of toilet paper and wipe off the fixture if need be. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Great\_Zamboni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@The\_Great\_Zamboni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Great_Zamboni)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2005, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-men-who-urinate-all-over-toilet-seats/288286/59 "2005-02-06T20:58:01Z")
There are many reasons that there is pee on the toilet seat. I will try to explain the reasons for the accidental pee. Much of this is from experience. First, the penis may not be entirely flaccid. Semi-erections can occur when hearing or talking about an arousing subject, when the man has just viewed certain media material, or, in my experience, sitting on a hard seat for too long (This really happens. I think it has something to do with pressure on the prostate, but IANA doctor, so I won’t speculate.) All of these situations can occur at the same time a man needs to urinate. When the man goes to the restroom, he notices that the penis will not aim in the proper direction, so he forces it to. This may cause distortion of the pee canal, which has already been affected by the semi-erection. This in turn makes the pee stream emerge distorted. We don’t want it to go everywhere, because everywhere includes our pants. Believe me, it’s hard to stop once you start, so the wet seat is not always the fault of the man being an asshat, even if he is one, but the result of our highly-arousable biology. Second, as has already been mentioned, it may have something to do with other built-up bodily fluids. They just don’t disappear. They need worked out. Last, It can have something to do with a distorted end. The man cannot control this problem, and deserves our pity. > [@glassy](#): > > I would think that a guy, peeing into a toilet and suddenly confronted with widely divergent streams, would sit down so as to contain the problem. But that’s just me. :eek: What? No man will ever sit down, unless he wants to be considered less than masculine by his peers! Whatever happens, when he doesn’t clean it up, he becomes an extreme jerk. ---
**Author:** ![Huerta88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/82dd89/32.png) [@Huerta88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Huerta88)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2005, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-men-who-urinate-all-over-toilet-seats/288286/60 "2005-02-06T21:21:00Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > When a man stands to pee, he generally passes his penis through the fly of his underpants. To sit down, though, one pulls the underpants down to the knees or ankles. I agree with all of your analysis except perhaps this part. I am sure there is an **IMHO** or something on this topic, but I am of the school that does not use the fly opening on either the shorts or the pants – I just pull both waistbands down. (I’ve always speculated that the fly opening made more sense in the days of long johns, outhouses, and non-elastic underwear, when it really could be a big production, and kind of chilly, to untie/unbotton your entire drawers to get out the one piece of tackle you need). With elastic underwear and warm restrooms, it seems simpler (also a bit less drip-prone, to get graphic) just to pull the whole front of your underwear down). Am I in the minority here? I mention this only because my method would be **slightly** less prohibitive than yours to doing a mid-stream stop-and-turn-180-degrees-and-sit change of plan (but not much less prohibitive), because your underwear’s already halfway down. Still, I can’t imagine doing it, for the reasons you mention. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-men-who-urinate-all-over-toilet-seats/288286.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-men-who-urinate-all-over-toilet-seats/288286.md?page=4)