What's up with middle lane meanderers?

In old England we drive on the other side, so you’re supped to keep left and pass on the right, but in the middle lane, the only difference is we have arseholes clogging it up instead of assholes.

I had a lot of motorway driving to do in the last few week, and spent an inordinate amount of time stuck behind some -frequently on their phone or obviously more interested in what a passenger has to say- oblivious moron, going way slower than the rest of the traffic in the centre lane. Here too it leaves larger vehicles without any legal way to go the limit, as they’re not allowed to overtake on the left (undertake), nor are they allowed in the rightmost lane unless signed otherwise. Clogs everything up.

I endorse this pitting. Here in the San Francisco Bay Area I see middle lane malingerers with semi trucks on their tails wanting to pass. But no, those MLMs just sit there, oblivious to the rules of the road. Clueless, inconsiderate, and selfish.

Actually, if you think about it, the middle lane is clearly the safest lane.

Imagine you’re in the middle lane, and you start to drift left or right. Other drivers will invariably begin to courteously signal you to look up from your phone. They will probably courteously signal you a lot.

On the other hand, if you’re in the left lane and drift left, the first hint you get to look up from your phone will be the sound of your precious paint job redecorating a Jersey barrier. Or if you drift right, from the right-hand lane, and into a field, your car could accidentally be redecorated by a Jersey cow. No time to look up from your phone once you hear that sudden moosplat.

Much better to stick to the middle lane. Safety first!

(I’d write more, but I’m being courteously signaled.)

I just moved to coastal Connecticut after living for over 10 years in southern California. We’re about a mile from I-95, and use it regularly, here in Connecticut and in neighboring Rhode Island.

One of the first things I noticed upon moving here, in areas of the freeway where there are three lanes, was the tendency of the slowest drivers to stick in the middle lane, and let people pass them on both sides. Significant stretches of the freeway around here are only two lanes, and obviously there are no middle-lane hogs there.

That would require thinking ahead, as opposed to seeing an immediate opportunity to gain .07 seconds off on commute time.


Well, they can’t drive quickly while texting. It’s dangerous!

What drives me fucking nuts is people who sit behind another vehicle for miles and miles, but as soon as I roll up on them and move to the left to pass, suddenly that’s when they decide they need to pass, too, and they pull out in front of me right before I get there. Even then, I wouldn’t get pissed if they just went, but these also tend to be people who refuse to break the speed limit under any circumstance, so they proceed to slooooooooowwwwwwlllllyyyyy creep past the car they had been sitting behind at like 0.01 mph. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING YOU FUCKING MORON?!?!?!

Nucking futs!

Hence my midlinger portmanteau, it’s lingering in the middle lane. But not necessarily malingering.

(I know what malingering is, I work for my state’s worker’s comp agency and it’s something my colleagues deal with constantly.)

I detest them, but I can hardly blame them, because they’re trying to avoid people in the right lane who don’t know how to merge onto the highway properly. Seriously… traffic is going 80 mph, and you want to try to fucking merge while doing 50 mph? Why did God make it so that I’m stuck behind you, you stupid asshole. You deserve to be hit, but then I’ll be a witness and be inconvenienced more. Thank goodness those middle lane people aren’t in the right lane hitting idiots that can’t merge.

The solution seems simple. If someone is going too slow for you in the center lane, just pass them. On The Left! If you can’t be arsed to turn on your signal (please) and change lanes, are you any better than the center lane meanderer?

I should add that I am in Indiana where you never (I think) have traffic merging in and out on the left. That adds a whole 'nother dimension I’m sure.

The OP that trucks aren’t allowed to do this.

I can’t remember ever seeing such a restriction, but if it works that way where the OP drives, I can see how there would be a problem.

That brings me to another pet peeve of mine. After I get off the interstate I’m on a two lane each direction divided highway that has traffic signals. There will be a semi sitting at the light, in the right lane and another semi not wanting to be stuck behind a slow to get going semi when the light changes will shift over to the left lane. Then the light changes and the truck that moved to the left lane is as slow to get going as the one in the right lane, slowing down all the cars that shifted lanes in order to avoid getting stuck behind the right lane semi. Wouldn’t bother me so much if it didn’t happen so often.

That’s a good way to get cut off. People see a hole in traffic that’s half-a-car long, they’re gonna try to wedge themselves into it.

Cut off from what? Particularly if they signal, I’ll let someone merge in 99% of the time (occasionally I’m in a shitty mood). One more car in front of me doesn’t really change my ETA in any measurable way.

But then you either have to tailgate the guy, or drop your speed in order to maintain a safe following distance. Which means the guy behind you has to do the same. And the guy behind him. Suddenly six cars back, someone’s slamming on the brakes and – BAM! – traffic jam.

Jesus titty fucking Christ, yes. I can’t count the number of folks I see doing this every day (my round trip commute to work is 120 miles of DFW). In fact, I’d be angrier about the folks who are clogging up the passing lane while going the speed limit if it weren’t for these idiots clogging up the 1-3 lanes right of the passing lane. If you aren’t going to do the speed limit, stay in the goddamn right lane and don’t get out for any reason.

That’s weird, I always thought the speed limit was an upper limit, not a lower limit.

You’re supposed to eventually be within epsilon of the limit.