# What's up with the Bible movies?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-the-bible-movies/683280
**Category:** Cafe Society
**Created:** [March 9, 2014, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-the-bible-movies/683280 "2014-03-09T17:38:13Z")
**Posts on this page:** 14
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@Wendell\_Wagner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wendell_Wagner)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2014, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-the-bible-movies/683280/21 "2014-03-10T11:25:10Z")
Horatio Hellpop wrote:
\> Put Jesus or the heroes of the Old Testament in 'em and they will not lose money,
\> provided you don’t try to release them near NY or LA.
I presume you’re exaggerating here. The movie _Son of God_ is showing at eight movie theaters within Manhattan and quite a few others within a short distance from there. It’s also showing at six theaters with a Los Angeles address and quite a few others within a short distance from there. It may be true that such movies make less money in New York or Los Angeles than elsewhere, but they certainly do get shown there.
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### Author:  [@Hermione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hermione)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2014, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-the-bible-movies/683280/22 "2014-03-10T13:09:22Z")
I dunno…I think Exodus sounds more promising than Noah’s Ark. Exodus has a ready-made three-act plot (that you can embellish without it looking like padding), a dramatic arc, potential for very gripping scenes…but with Noah’s Ark, all you have is a big boat and a bunch of animals. Anything you could add to it WOULD just seem like blatant padding.
There was a TV movie of Noah’s Ark some years back with Jon Voight. I never saw it, but from what I read, it was rather ridiculous. Among other things, they made Noah the cousin of Lot so they could shoehorn in the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah.
Exodus does have one disadvantage though…the story was done so incredibly well in The Prince of Thieves. This may be blasphemy (heh) for some, but I actually think PoT has it all over The Ten Commandments. It tells a tighter, more dramatic story in half the time. The characters are engaging, the songs and musical score are awesome, and the Angel of Death scene (in almost complete silence) was one of the creepiest, most effective moments in an animated movie.
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### Author:  [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2014, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-the-bible-movies/683280/23 "2014-03-10T13:24:20Z")
> [@Dale\_Sams](#):
>
> But…we all know how they end.
Not everybody has read the book. I hope you don’t intend to post spoilers :mad:
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### Author:  [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2014, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-the-bible-movies/683280/24 "2014-03-10T13:42:19Z")
> [@Hermione](#):
>
> Exodus does have one disadvantage though…the story was done so incredibly well in The Prince of Thieves. This may be blasphemy (heh) for some, but I actually think PoT has it all over The Ten Commandments. It tells a tighter, more dramatic story in half the time. The characters are engaging, the songs and musical score are awesome, and the Angel of Death scene (in almost complete silence) was one of the creepiest, most effective moments in an animated movie.
I presume you meant PRINCE OF EGYPT, the animated version, rather than PRINCE OF THIEVES, the Robin-Hood movie?
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### Author:  [@Hermione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hermione)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2014, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-the-bible-movies/683280/25 "2014-03-10T18:41:04Z")
:smack: That’s what I get for posting when I have a head cold.
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### Author:  [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2014, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-the-bible-movies/683280/26 "2014-03-10T18:50:12Z")
> [@Hermione](#):
>
> …but with Noah’s Ark, all you have is a big boat and a bunch of animals. Anything you could add to it WOULD just seem like blatant padding.
That’s never stopped Hollywood before.
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### Author:  [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2014, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-the-bible-movies/683280/27 "2014-03-10T19:43:16Z")
> [@Hermione](#):
>
> I dunno…I think Exodus sounds more promising than Noah’s Ark. Exodus has a ready-made three-act plot (that you can embellish without it looking like padding), a dramatic arc, potential for very gripping scenes…but with Noah’s Ark, all you have is a big boat and a bunch of animals. Anything you could add to it WOULD just seem like blatant padding.
Script page 30.
Any land yet, Father?
No. Shovel the poop.
Script page 32:
Any land yet, Father?
No. Shovel the poop.
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### Author:  [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2014, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-the-bible-movies/683280/28 "2014-03-10T19:51:16Z")
> [@mack](#):
>
> with Christian Bale as Moses and Aaron Paul (Jesse Pinkman) as Joshua.
They should have switched those castings just so Aaron Paul could deliver the line, “Let my people go, bitch!”
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### Author:  [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2014, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-the-bible-movies/683280/29 "2014-03-10T19:55:54Z")
> [@Dale\_Sams](#):
>
> But…we all know how they end.
Didn’t stop _Titanic_.
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### Author:  [@Equipoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Equipoise)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2014, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-the-bible-movies/683280/30 "2014-03-10T21:10:45Z")
Here’s a quick but interesting read about how the studio, which had final cut, took Noah away from Aronofsky, re-edited it to make it more bible-thumper friendly, found that it didn’t focus group any higher than Aronofsky’s original vision, and gave it back to him virtually unchanged. I’m on my iPod Touch and can’t fancy link or pull quotes.
[http://t.co/InGWHEanEk](http://t.co/InGWHEanEk)
There are links to more in-depth articles in there. That’s just an overview.
The whole Noah story (indeed, the bible in general) makes me roll my eyes, but I am so there. I like to support auteurs and I’m looking forward to this.
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### Author:  [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2014, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-the-bible-movies/683280/31 "2014-03-10T21:55:01Z")
Yeah, I’ll see it because it’s Aronofsky.
And to see Emma Watson dripping wet. 😃
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### Author:  [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2014, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-the-bible-movies/683280/32 "2014-03-10T22:04:34Z")
I think all this talk of the Right and the Christian Right is ignoring the most fundamental “right” of all.
It’s the lack of a _copyright_ which gets the producer/investor salivating. The Bible is a pre-sold property which, if done right, can be milked for tens of billions, er, can reawaken today’s youth from their spiritual apathy. 😉
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### Author:  [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2014, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-the-bible-movies/683280/33 "2014-03-10T22:14:14Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#):
>
> Here’s my conspiracy theory explanation.
>
> Christian fundamentalist gazillionaires are concerned that the young are no longer turning to the bible for the answers to their questions, so they are funding biblical epics to appeal to the younger movie-going demographic.
Could be!
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### Author:  [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)
#### Post date: [March 10, 2014, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-up-with-the-bible-movies/683280/34 "2014-03-10T22:18:04Z")
> [@Equipoise](#):
>
> The whole Noah story (indeed, the bible in general) makes me roll my eyes, but I am so there. I like to support auteurs and I’m looking forward to this.
You might want to take a look at some of the threads in Cafe Society, we’ve been doing “bible study” as a literary and historical critique, ignoring “religion” per se.
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