# What's worse: being raped or being falsely accused of rape? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 26, 2015, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-worse-being-raped-or-being-falsely-accused-of-rape/713666 "2015-02-26T15:46:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-worse-being-raped-or-being-falsely-accused-of-rape/713666/41 "2015-02-27T04:08:24Z")
> [@robert\_columbia](#): > > One thing is that when one is raped, the incident happens, then it ends, and one is then typically allowed to go ahead with the rest of one’s life. If you want to dwell on it, you can, or you can put it behind you. When one is falsely accused of rape, one typically has a long-term ordeal involving interrogations, court appearances, large legal bills, and potentially incarceration and long-term registration as a sex offender. In other words, it’s a slow rape, months or even years or decades of agony. You can’t be serious here. Yeah, someone gets raped, it’s a “one and done” deal, right? If the person _wants_ to, they can “dwell” on it or be psychologically damaged but they can also but it behind them, the choice is theirs. I am amazed at the lack of empathy in this post. And any way you frame it, the two situations are not comparable. Period. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-worse-being-raped-or-being-falsely-accused-of-rape/713666/42 "2015-02-27T06:01:57Z")
Being falsely accused though doesn’t include the risk of STDs or pregnancy. Rape does. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-worse-being-raped-or-being-falsely-accused-of-rape/713666/43 "2015-02-27T06:06:03Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Being falsely accused though doesn’t include the risk of pregnancy. Rape does. Not if it’s legitimate rape. ---
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-worse-being-raped-or-being-falsely-accused-of-rape/713666/44 "2015-02-27T06:37:01Z")
I’m disappointed that this thread doesn’t include some ridiculous hypothetical giving you exactly this choice. Something like, I dunno, “…if you flee the scene you’ll be assumed to be the rapist, but if you stay you’ll get raped”. Standards really are falling at the Dope. ---
**Author:** ![Namkcalb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c89c15/32.png) [@Namkcalb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Namkcalb)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-worse-being-raped-or-being-falsely-accused-of-rape/713666/45 "2015-02-27T07:03:49Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > Not if it’s legitimate rape. Not every country has looser abortion laws for rape victims and not everyone would abort a foetus because of the sins of its father. It’s a horrid situation that has faced female rape victims in the past. > [@Ambivalid](#): > > You can’t be serious here. Yeah, someone gets raped, it’s a “one and done” deal, right? If the person _wants_ to, they can “dwell” on it or be psychologically damaged but they can also but it behind them, the choice is theirs. I am amazed at the lack of empathy in this post. I think he went seriously over the top, but there is nothing legally restricting actual rape victims from putting it behind them (emotionally, yes). There is for the falsely accused, who shares the pain of betrayal with raped people. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 8:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-worse-being-raped-or-being-falsely-accused-of-rape/713666/46 "2015-02-27T08:45:11Z")
> [@Namkcalb](#): > > Not every country has looser abortion laws for rape victims and not everyone would abort a foetus because of the sins of its father. > > It’s a horrid situation that has faced female rape victims in the past. > I think he went seriously over the top, but there is nothing legally restricting actual rape victims from putting it behind them (emotionally, yes). There is for the falsely accused, who shares the pain of betrayal with raped people. Sorry I didn’t make that clearer; my “legitimate rape” comment was a Todd Aikin quote. I was being facetious. ---
**Author:** ![amanset](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8dc957/32.png) [@amanset](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amanset)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 10:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-worse-being-raped-or-being-falsely-accused-of-rape/713666/47 "2015-02-27T10:23:56Z")
Rape month seems to come round earlier every year. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-worse-being-raped-or-being-falsely-accused-of-rape/713666/48 "2015-02-27T14:26:41Z")
If you’re falsely accused you can clear up the issue and move on. Harder to do that if you’re raped. ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-worse-being-raped-or-being-falsely-accused-of-rape/713666/49 "2015-02-27T15:44:44Z")
If you’re falsely accused of rape, you have to go through a legal nightmare to get everything set right, have people you know turn on you and call you a liar, have your life completely upended, etc. If you’re raped, you have to go through all that, and also, you get raped. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-worse-being-raped-or-being-falsely-accused-of-rape/713666/50 "2015-02-27T15:55:51Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Being falsely accused though doesn’t include the risk of STDs or pregnancy. Rape does. True - but being falsely accused carries with it the risk of actually being convicted and doing time in jail - presumably, hard time, as rape is of course a serious criminal offence. For my answer I’ll go with ‘too many variables in both cases to compare as generalizations’. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-worse-being-raped-or-being-falsely-accused-of-rape/713666/51 "2015-02-27T17:37:37Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > This is kind of like comparing apples to oranges isn’t it? Yeah, but we do do that here now and then. Plus this could turn into a really interesting read. I went equally. Falsely accused you almost have to prove your innocence; a tough thing to do. Actually victimized and the defense is probably going to make it all look like your fault; a tough thing to live with. I just don’t see an “up side” to either situation to rank it above or below the other. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-worse-being-raped-or-being-falsely-accused-of-rape/713666/52 "2015-02-27T18:17:45Z")
> [@Namkcalb](#): > > Very few of us have thought of raping someone. I somehow highly doubt that. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-worse-being-raped-or-being-falsely-accused-of-rape/713666/53 "2015-02-27T18:20:59Z")
> [@hotflungwok](#): > > If you’re falsely accused of rape, you have to go through a legal nightmare to get everything set right, have people you know turn on you and call you a liar, have your life completely upended, etc. > > If you’re raped, you have to go through all that, and also, you get raped. This wins the thread. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-worse-being-raped-or-being-falsely-accused-of-rape/713666/54 "2015-02-27T18:53:35Z")
> [@hotflungwok](#): > > If you’re falsely accused of rape, you have to go through a legal nightmare to get everything set right, have people you know turn on you and call you a liar, have your life completely upended, etc. > > If you’re raped, you have to go through all that, and also, you get raped. I think the thing missing from this witty analysis is that being accused of rape carries with it a risk of actually being convicted. If that happens, depending on your jurisdiction, you could be looking at doing some very hard time. ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-worse-being-raped-or-being-falsely-accused-of-rape/713666/55 "2015-02-27T18:57:42Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > I think the thing missing from this witty analysis is that being accused of rape carries with it a risk of actually being convicted. If that happens, depending on your jurisdiction, you could be looking at doing some very hard time. Being raped also carries with it the risk of STD transmission, pregnancy, and trauma to one’s genitalia. Plus psychological trauma. This would be “hard time” of another kind. This thread is the most bizarre thing I’ve read in a long time. ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-worse-being-raped-or-being-falsely-accused-of-rape/713666/56 "2015-02-27T19:04:44Z")
Just read back on the first page and noticed the pregnancy/STD thing has already been mentioned. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-worse-being-raped-or-being-falsely-accused-of-rape/713666/57 "2015-02-27T19:12:16Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > I think the thing missing from this witty analysis is that being accused of rape carries with it a risk of actually being convicted. If that happens, depending on your jurisdiction, you could be looking at doing some very hard time. Being raped, depending on your jurisdiction, carries with it a very real risk of being executed for adultery, honor-killed, developing permanent [physical complications](http://www.msmagazine.com/spring2005/congo.asp)or dying of HIV. Hard time is nothing in comparison. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-worse-being-raped-or-being-falsely-accused-of-rape/713666/58 "2015-02-27T19:17:11Z")
> [@you\_with\_the\_face](#): > > Being raped also carries with it the risk of STD transmission, pregnancy, and trauma to one’s genitalia. Plus psychological trauma. This would be “hard time” of another kind. > > This thread is the most bizarre thing I’ve read in a long time. Absolutely. Already acknowledged upthread. Thing is, I believe that the better argument is that the risk of being sentenced for rape is, in the cold light of reason, worse that the risk of the purely physical trauma of STDs, pregnancy, or damage to one’s genitals. The risk isn’t merely losing some years of your life to imprisionment, but also of being categorized as a sex offender and a felon. The mental trauma of either situation would of course vary by individual. I have no doubt that, for some, one would clearly be worse than the other. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-worse-being-raped-or-being-falsely-accused-of-rape/713666/59 "2015-02-27T19:22:15Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > Being raped, depending on your jurisdiction, carries with it a very real risk of being executed for adultery, honor-killed, developing permanent [physical complications](http://www.msmagazine.com/spring2005/congo.asp)or dying of HIV. Hard time is nothing in comparison. True. If you were raped in some third-world countries, your situation would undoubtedly be worse by any account than if you were accused of rape, due to a malfunctioning or non-functioning system of criminal law and medical care, and by customs that strongly favour aggressors over victims. However, I don’t live in such a place, and I am perhaps wrongly assuming that the question is directed at where you happen to live. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-worse-being-raped-or-being-falsely-accused-of-rape/713666/60 "2015-02-27T19:38:06Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > If you were raped in some third-world countries Not all the countries like that are “third world”, and not all Western rapes are cosy date rapes. > [@](#): > > However, I don’t live in such a place, and I am perhaps wrongly assuming that the question is directed at where you happen to live. I took the global view. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-worse-being-raped-or-being-falsely-accused-of-rape/713666.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-worse-being-raped-or-being-falsely-accused-of-rape/713666.md?page=4)