# What's wrong with Neil Diamond? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 27, 2005, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-wrong-with-neil-diamond/328095 "2005-10-27T01:09:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2005, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-wrong-with-neil-diamond/328095/41 "2005-10-27T18:23:46Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > (bolding mine) > > Even The Byrds doing “Mr. Tambourine Man?” Or Hendrix doing “All Along The Watchtower?” 😃 ESPECIALLY The Byrds’ “Mr Tambourine Man”. They sucked the soul right of that one. Hendrix is an exceptional case. > [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Or Manfred Mann’s cover of “Quinn The Eskimo.” Nah. I like the Dylan version, warts and all. ---
**Author:** ![BMax](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bmax/32/4267_2.png) [@BMax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMax)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2005, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-wrong-with-neil-diamond/328095/42 "2005-10-27T18:59:10Z")
Neil Diamond was the first concert I ever went to. I was 8 or 9 years old, my father took me and my sister. It was the Keil auditorium in St. Louis, 1972 or 73. > [@RitzyRae](#): > > Though, there were quite a few scantily clad ladies in the front row having various fits and seizures all over the edge of the stage. Neil ended up kissing one of them. > > And in the row in front of us, a very large man and his very large date, for nearly the entire length of the concert, participated in open groping. I don’t think there exists a more flagrant and noticeable groping technique than the one we witnessed. It was an up-and-over to the boobies method, where an up-and-under approach might have been better. > > In sum, what is wrong with Neil Diamond is that he apparently inspires such obvious open groping that a 65 year-old man sitting next to us had to repeatedly jab my husband in ribs and give us the “whoop-dee-do” sign with one finger while motioning to the couple below. > > That is what is wrong with Neil Diamond. I’m scarred for life. I’m glad our seats were up in the nosebleed section where I couldn’t see the first row, it was 1972 and there were no very large people on dates or _I’d_ have been scarred too! ---
**Author:** ![RitzyRae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aca169/32.png) [@RitzyRae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RitzyRae)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2005, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-wrong-with-neil-diamond/328095/43 "2005-10-27T19:10:20Z")
> [@BMax](#): > > I’m glad our seats were up in the nosebleed section where I couldn’t see the first row, it was 1972 and there were no very large people on dates or _I’d_ have been scarred too! It was truly one of the oddest experiences of my life. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ddgryphon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8c91f0/32.png) [@ddgryphon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ddgryphon)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2005, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-wrong-with-neil-diamond/328095/44 "2005-10-27T19:42:31Z")
> [@Exgineer](#): > > I think all of you Neil Diamond apologists are forgetting a little something called “the soundtrack to _Jonathan Livingston Seagull_.” > > That was a sin for which there can be no absolution. Ex-cuuuuu–oooo-oooo–use ME. I love that album! The Sanctus, Skybird, and many other just truly great songs – okay, I haven’t heard it since my turntable died 6 or 7 years ago, but I find the album to soar above both the book and the (ug ack arg) movie. In fact it might be the only thing of lasting value to come out of that whole endeavor. And while I’m here apologizing for Neil Diamond (one of my more guilty pleasures – not quite as guilty as my enjoyment of Stevie Nicks, but I had to stand in a line for that). Yes he is cheesy! Yes, he isn’t a great singer, but in the 60’s/70’s/ and into the 80’s he put on a great show! His live performances are better than the studio work – but there is something about his singing that appeals to me (plus I like a number of his songs – in spite of brangs, and Heartlights[okay,I hate that one] bluejeans and other annoying things – I like to listen to them. I also like Pentagle, Steeleye Span, Nora Jones, The DK’s, Bob Marely, Peter Tosh, Sting (who gets a little cheesier with each CD), Huey Lewis, Led Zeplin, Bob Martin, Bob Dylan, Neil Young, Leonard Bernstein, Leonard Cohen, Fiona Apple, – I guess I’m indescriminate, no, I really don’t like Wesley Willis (well, in small doses he is amusing). BTW: I also feel it is perfectly acceptable to not like Neil Diamond, just don’t pretend you have a sound, structural, musical reason for doing so – you may not like him, but like Steven Spielberg and Movies, he knows what he’s doing when he writes or sings a song. Another aside: Wil Ferrell’s Neil Diamond imitation is one of my favorite running things ever from SNL. Okay, I’m done. ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2005, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-wrong-with-neil-diamond/328095/45 "2005-10-27T19:44:31Z")
He appears in **The Last Waltz** and is just so damned earnest in delivering the song - that’s what grates. I once dated a woman that, along with her entire family, was a huge Neil Diamond fan. He was about the only person they listened to. I think I stayed drunk for most of our relationship as a result. “More Neil Diamond? Give me another beer, please.” ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2005, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-wrong-with-neil-diamond/328095/46 "2005-10-27T19:53:41Z")
> [@ddgryphon](#): > > …he knows what he’s doing when he writes or sings a song. Please see post #6. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2005, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-wrong-with-neil-diamond/328095/47 "2005-10-27T22:11:05Z")
> [@Kizarvexius](#): > > The voice. Definitely the voice. I really don’t mind most of his songs, as long as somebody else is singing them. But my God. I would rather spend a year in a prison cell with Charles Manson than listen to Neil Diamond sing anything. > > FWIW, I don’t mind Barry Manilow in the least. But don’t get me started on Aaron Neville. (shudder) Did Neville ever get rid of that huge, cragged wart/mole/skin tag he sported proudly and digustingly for years? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2005, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-wrong-with-neil-diamond/328095/48 "2005-10-27T22:13:23Z")
> [@astro](#): > > Did Neville ever get rid of that huge, cragged wart/mole/skin tag he sported proudly and digustingly for years? Nope. He was on Letterman a couple of weeks ago. The thing still looms large. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2005, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-wrong-with-neil-diamond/328095/49 "2005-10-27T22:24:20Z")
> [@ddgryphon](#): > > And while I’m here apologizing for Neil Diamond (one of my more guilty pleasures – not quite as guilty as my enjoyment of Stevie Nicks, but I had to stand in a line for that). Stevie Nicks \> Neil Diamond. Yeah, “Cherry, Cherry” and “Solitary Man” aren’t bad either. But “September Morn” makes me want to vomit. My aunt LOVES Neil Diamond. I mean, she LOVES him to death. ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2005, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-wrong-with-neil-diamond/328095/50 "2005-10-27T22:35:19Z")
> [@Trunk](#): > > How triumphantly he sings. . .“They’re coming to America” > > Or > > “Turn on your heartlight > In the middle of a young boy’s dream.” > > “I am, I said” > > If they made a movie like “Spinal Tap” for pop singers, it WOULD be “The Jazz Singer” and lyrics like he writes would straight up be the songs. He writes such crappy lyrics and delivers them so earnestly with the open shirts and the jewelry. . .it really looks like a great big joke. It’s really hilarious. > > That said, I do find he songs catchy, fun to sing along with, and I like his voice, and that’s the real measure of a pop star. But, the guy’s a total tool. A ham. That can’t be denied. Why do you hate They’re coming to America? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2005, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-wrong-with-neil-diamond/328095/51 "2005-10-27T22:41:20Z")
“America” always reminds me of the _MST3K_ episode where they did _Parts: the Clonus Horror_, and the clones go to America. And every time Mike and the 'Bots shout, “Today!” ---
**Author:** ![ccwaterback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@ccwaterback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ccwaterback)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-wrong-with-neil-diamond/328095/52 "2005-10-28T00:46:16Z")
> [@astro](#): > > Did Neville ever get rid of that huge, cragged wart/mole/skin tag he sported proudly and digustingly for years? He sung during the World Series a couple nights ago. Yes, he still has Mt. Neville on his eyebrow, and if I’m not mistaken, he had a new homemade tat of a dagger on his cheek. Cheese, indeed. ---
**Author:** ![ccwaterback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@ccwaterback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ccwaterback)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-wrong-with-neil-diamond/328095/53 "2005-10-28T00:49:37Z")
Yep, here it is: [http://www.starpulse.com/Music/Neville,\_Aaron/gallery/5/](http://www.starpulse.com/Music/Neville,_Aaron/gallery/5/) Or is that a cross??? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_chao_goes_mu/32/3191_2.png) [@The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Chao_Goes_Mu)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-wrong-with-neil-diamond/328095/54 "2005-10-28T12:07:39Z")
> [@astro](#): > > Did Neville ever get rid of that huge, cragged wart/mole/skin tag he sported proudly and digustingly for years? MOLE! MOLEY MOLEY MOLEY MOLE! ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-wrong-with-neil-diamond/328095/55 "2005-10-28T12:49:52Z")
> [@ddgryphon](#): > > Ex-cuuuuu–oooo-oooo–use ME. I love that album! The Sanctus, Skybird, and many other just truly great songs – okay, I haven’t heard it since my turntable died 6 or 7 years ago, but I find the album to soar above both the book and the (ug ack arg) movie. In fact it might be the only thing of lasting value to come out of that whole endeavor. I’m forced to disagree. You clearly enjoyed it, so I’ll have to admit that there’s no accounting for taste, but I found it profoundly unsatisfying and banal. My primary objection is not with the music _per se_, however, but that Neil Diamond was a willing and active co-conspirator in the creation of that horrid, mind numbing, soul destroying, torturous excuse for a “movie.” In a just world, any willing participant in the production or distribution of that vile thing would be beaten, run over by a Winnebago, shot, buried in a termite mound, dug up, dismembered, fed through a wood chipper, immolated, mixed with cattle urine, loaded into an artillery shell, and fired into an active volcano. That’s all I’m saying. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2005, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-wrong-with-neil-diamond/328095/56 "2005-11-07T16:16:09Z")
Did anyone catch CBS Sunday Morning yesterday? They did a big piece on Neil Diamond. Apparently, he has a new album coming out, produced by none other than Rick Rubin. It’s had 4 star reviews, even from Rolling Stone. Rubin said he used to love Diamond, and loves his voice and wanted to get him to return to his roots. So, if you want to validate your love for Neil by the company you keep, you could do worse than Rubin. He was one of the guys who founded Def Jam records, but I think he’s also produced some Soundgarden albums, some Johnny Cash, and lots of other hard rock and pop and hip hop. He’s a guy that’s a real music lover and isn’t married to any notions of superiority of genre. He spoke very respectfully of Diamond, saying he loved his baritone voice, and his simple style of guitar playing, Even diamond said that he hasn’t played the guitar for so long because there are better guitar players. But Rubin told him he wanted him composing and playing with the guitar. So, if you’re a Diamond fan, look for “12 Songs”, coming soon. ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2005, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-wrong-with-neil-diamond/328095/57 "2005-11-07T17:00:50Z")
> [@ddgryphon](#): > > Yes, he isn’t a great singer, but in the 60’s/70’s/ and into the 80’s he put on a great show! His live performances are better than the studio work… We either must’ve seen different concert tours, or we have vastly different opinions about what makes a performer great in concert. When I saw him (with tickets my grandmother won in a raffle – though I admit I liked him when I was younger, I would never have intentionally paid money to see him perform), he absolutely sucked. Donkey balls. He stood in one place in the middle of the stage and sang/screamed into the mic. He didn’t even move his ass when he did the “You Don’t Bring Me Flowers” duet with one of his backup singers. Which brings me to… > [@Anaamika](#): > > My friend worked at the Albany Pepsi Arena for 11 years and met him several times. She says he was outright rude to his employees, and to the Arena staff, and an obnoxious bastard who thought the world revolved around him. Based on what I observed of his behavior on stage, I wouldn’t doubt that for a second. IMO he treated his backup singer with such disrespect, relegating her to staying several feet behind him and off to the side _during the duet_. Who the hell sings a duet like that?! I thought it was obnoxious. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2005, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-wrong-with-neil-diamond/328095/58 "2005-11-07T17:40:37Z")
In my opinion, he doesn’t have much going on in the voice quality department. It’s too deep and he’s not particularly skilled with it. He’s not bad…he’s just not good. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2005, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-wrong-with-neil-diamond/328095/59 "2005-11-09T16:15:55Z")
He’s on _The View_ this morning. He looks like a gay Bill O’Reilly. ---
**Author:** ![hazel-rah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/73ab20/32.png) [@hazel-rah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hazel-rah)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2005, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-wrong-with-neil-diamond/328095/60 "2005-11-09T21:28:35Z")
> [@](#): > > His lyrics are generally jibberish, just try reading the words to Cracklin’ Rosie. Um, destitute guy singing the praises of cheap liquor. I figured this out from hearing it playing in my mom’s room when I was a teenager. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-wrong-with-neil-diamond/328095.md?page=2)