I know a boy with autism, Asperger’s Syndrome, and this little girl does not show any of the symptoms that he does. (Yes, I know, that’s hardly a scientific conclusion.) She’s been exhibiting some odd learning disabilites, so her parents are trying to nail down exactly where her weaknesses are so they can help her.
I like the idea of drawing letters to learn them…I will suggest that.
It may take a while to figure out what (if anything) is the problem. I do not think there is necessarily anything wrong with a 5 year old who is not reading. At the same time the sooner you catch a learning disability the sooner you can work to accommodate it.
I’m dyslexic, I was diagnosed at age 7. It could be dyslexia, but it is hard to tell unless you spend real time with a child. Dyslexia can often be easiest to diagnose by looking at other things besides reading. In general it effects the way you see and interpret lists of things, particularly horizontal lists (as opposed to vertical lists). Most kids use that orientation to help them learn to read, but for dyslexics that orientation is much harder to hold onto. As a kid you find a lot of ways work around it, but it makes learning to read a real pain. How is she with numbers, does she mix them up? That was a big one for me. I knew the difference audibly between 21 and 12, for example, but I had a really hard time writing them down on paper.
Regardless, it is really important to keep the activity of learning to read fun (I think the sandbox idea is great). If it just becomes something that she is bad at, she will run away from it.
Obviously take her to a specialist (perhaps two to avoid misdiagnosing) and listen to their advice. If they say there is something wrong, then learn more about what it is. Sounds like this little girl has quite a lot of people who love her, and that is always a good thing.
Lastly (and I know this sounds dippy) but try not think of a learning disability as something that is “wrong”. If the people around this child think that something is “wrong” with her, she will think something is “wrong” with her.
Autism comes in many, many different forms.
My son was doing high school level math and fifth grade level reading at 5 years old. But didn’t learn to tie his shoes until he was 10.
I was dislexic as a child, but what you describe sounds more like autism.