# What's your best curse? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 23, 2000, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-best-curse/34233 "2000-09-23T02:32:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-best-curse/34233/1 "2000-09-23T02:32:42Z")
You wake up half an hour late for an important meeting at work. You jump in the shower but the water comes out all rusty and you are out of shampoo. There’s no clean shirts in your closet. You get dressed as best you can, run downstairs. No time for breakfest! You grab the carton of milk and chug it, only to discover it’s clabbered. Blehhh! You spit it out all over your suit. You run up stairs and change into an even dirtier shirt and suit. Back downstairs, Where’s the keys? You find them, grab your briefcase, only you didn’t lock it last night so when you pick it up everything falls out. You jump into your car. Oh no! You left your lights on last night! Never mind, you take your wife’s car to work. Jumping out of the car, thank God! You’re barely in time for that important presentation with your top client. You go to the trunk and open it, but… You realize your briefcase (with your presentation in it of course) is back in the trunk of your car, at home. Everybody in your offic eis standing there wondering what happened to you. It’s been building… You slam the trunk. You stand there. And all of a sudden it comes out. Your ultimate curse! You raise your fist to the sky and… “[Your curse here. What is it?]” ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-best-curse/34233/2 "2000-09-23T02:36:29Z")
JIMINY FUCKING CRICKET ON A GRIDDLE WITH MAYO AND A SIDE OF BULLSHIT!!! \ Sorry, I never WAS good at those. ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-best-curse/34233/3 "2000-09-23T02:38:41Z")
oh, bugger. What? I find that understatement works well. \ ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-best-curse/34233/4 "2000-09-23T02:52:42Z")
My daughters used to yell “Butt Fungus” at each other, but I don’t know if it would apply here. ---
**Author:** ![BigGiantHead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b4bc9f/32.png) [@BigGiantHead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigGiantHead)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-best-curse/34233/5 "2000-09-23T03:07:52Z")
Guy on my sub used to have two of these, just cracked me up. Maybe it was his delivery. First, and less lethal: **"LIZARD FUCK ON A STICK!"** And the greater of the two, only to be used if you _knew_ (as he did), that you’re definitely going to hell any way: **"GOD’S COCK!!!"** Maybe you just had to be there. ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-best-curse/34233/6 "2000-09-23T03:11:38Z")
Scylla, you wrote this whole thing just to justify using the word “clabbered,” didn’t ya? Come on. Admit it. It’s a neat word that you hardly ever get to use, and the urge to use it just overcame you, so made up this whole other thing in a blatantly transparent attempt to be able to type c-l-a-b-b-e-r-e-d. _Tres gauche._ ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-best-curse/34233/7 "2000-09-23T03:13:46Z")
Oh, rats. Darn it all to heck, anyway. Oh, well. Suuuuure that’s what I say. ---
**Author:** ![Eo\_Echo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ebca7d/32.png) [@Eo\_Echo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eo_Echo)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-best-curse/34233/8 "2000-09-23T03:15:58Z")
Goddamnmotherfuckershit. Pronounced with no break as one word. Common, I’ll admit, but it certainly is good for the soul. ---
**Author:** ![Skwerl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Skwerl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skwerl)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-best-curse/34233/9 "2000-09-23T03:19:32Z")
I’ve become a fan of “tad blern it!”, “daggummit!”, and “con-founded weasel turds!”…oh yeah, and “dad blasted!” ---
**Author:** ![Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-best-curse/34233/10 "2000-09-23T03:29:01Z")
I’m not even British–but I usually say “Bloody Hell!” really loud. For some reason–the words, when used together–just ‘feel’ really powerful when I say them under an incensed circumstance. It helps relieve a lot of the tension. -Ashley (Hee-hee! ‘Gods Cock’ :P) ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-best-curse/34233/11 "2000-09-23T04:33:00Z")
My favorite one is Jesus H. Motherfucking Christ on a Candy Cross with Bullshit on top! ---
**Author:** ![alibey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@alibey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alibey)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-best-curse/34233/12 "2000-09-23T04:52:14Z")
mutfuk utfuk ama fakette!!! Turkish for “the kitchen is small, but it doesn’t matter” sounds a whole lot more sinister in english, and has a bilt in reply to thoses who do not like people using colorful language around them/their kids. ---
**Author:** ![don\_Jaime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b4bc9f/32.png) [@don\_Jaime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_Jaime)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-best-curse/34233/13 "2000-09-23T05:07:23Z")
_ **BLOODY FUCK!** _ Gets the point across. People just scrunch up and want to be somewhere else (well, more than usual…) I ain’t English, either. ---
**Author:** ![Lux\_Fiat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bc79bd/32.png) [@Lux\_Fiat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lux_Fiat)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-best-curse/34233/14 "2000-09-23T05:53:37Z")
I’ll tell ya what, when I’ve reached the point where I must decide between “bellow of rage” on the one hand or “psychotic fugue” on the other, and I opt for the former, I find the tried-and-true to be the best. There’s nothing quite as satisfying as a giant “ **FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!** ”. It’s got the same sort of primal, deeper-level-of-the-cosmos thing goin’ on as “aum”, but with more of what a television exec might call “edginess”. ---
**Author:** ![Lux\_Fiat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bc79bd/32.png) [@Lux\_Fiat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lux_Fiat)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-best-curse/34233/15 "2000-09-23T06:01:10Z")
I’ll tell ya what, when I’ve reached the point where I must decide between “bellow of rage” on the one hand or “psychotic fugue” on the other, and I opt for the former, I find the tried-and-true to be the best. There’s nothing quite as satisfying as a giant “ **FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!** ”. It’s got the same sort of primal, deeper-level-of-the-cosmos thing goin’ on as “aum”, but with more of what a television exec might call “edginess”. ---
**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-best-curse/34233/16 "2000-09-23T06:09:30Z")
A friend of mine used to say “Oh bugger me sideways with a dead wombat.” Don’t know if it helps, though. ---
**Author:** ![Feynn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecb155/32.png) [@Feynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feynn)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-best-curse/34233/17 "2000-09-23T06:46:42Z")
One word… godamnmotherfuckingsonofabitchcocksucker!!! I once said this in front of a rather innocent and naive girlfriend after discovering that I had lost my car keys in the lake and we were the last people there… I do believe that she had never heard anything like it. Poor girl. ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-best-curse/34233/18 "2000-09-23T06:52:19Z")
I really shouldn’t admit to these but - Fuck me nakkid and hide my clothes. Well, fuck me running. Or I can combine the two for - fuck me running and nakkid and hide my clothes If there are young children or older people around I try to switch to - Frogs, frogs in the underwear. Or Fudge. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-best-curse/34233/19 "2000-09-23T07:12:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ayesha \* > \*\*Fuck me nakkid and hide my clothes. > \*\* That’s more of a pick up line. 🙂 Me? I’m a “bloody” person myself. Bloody just about anything works for me. Bloody Hell. Bloody Fuck. Bloody Shit. What the bloody hell?! and so on. ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-best-curse/34233/20 "2000-09-23T07:24:07Z")
Well Silver Fire, I( like to kill two birds with one stone. I’m a bad girl. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-best-curse/34233.md?page=2)