# What's your best insult in 25 words or less? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 3, 2000, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-best-insult-in-25-words-or-less/24398 "2000-07-03T00:55:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Show\_Biz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/77aa72/32.png) [@Show\_Biz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Show_Biz)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2000, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-best-insult-in-25-words-or-less/24398/1 "2000-07-03T00:55:24Z")
I suppose this would be an IMHO topic, but I’m guessing it will get at least a PG-13 rating soon. The insults a lot of people use are the ones they are most sensitive about. I won’t call a person juvenile, but I will call him old, the word that always rakes my pride. Pussy whipped hurts, as do the failure-related insults. I can easily ignore the ones about low IQ as unreal, but when someone says he expected better of me, he’s going to get something nasty in return. That’s too close to home. The one that always gets my enemies mad, but requires waiting for an opening, is when he relates something he did wrong, such as mistakenly sucked up to the author, thinking he was the producer. Then I say: **That sounds like something you would do.** That line has always produced the reddest face, and greatest loss of composure, although I can’t say exactly why. ---
**Author:** ![Homer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Homer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homer)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2000, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-best-insult-in-25-words-or-less/24398/2 "2000-07-03T02:00:49Z")
I’d say the fact that no one has responded to your post is the biggest insult of all. But ignorance is bliss. You bastard. –Tim ---
**Author:** ![Palmyra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/57b2e6/32.png) [@Palmyra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palmyra)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2000, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-best-insult-in-25-words-or-less/24398/3 "2000-07-03T05:13:35Z")
“That is so gay. I don’t think you could be any gay-er unless you were actually butt-fucking a guy!” -courtesy of a friend of mine, and first used to insult a player on EverCrack (EverQuest) ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2000, 10:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-best-insult-in-25-words-or-less/24398/4 "2000-07-03T10:14:41Z")
Moist tuft of rectal pubic hair. ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2000, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-best-insult-in-25-words-or-less/24398/5 "2000-07-03T17:34:15Z")
Well, this doesn’t exactly wither anyone’s scrotum to hear it, but when I see an adult being a complete moron in public, I sometimes say “Your grandmother must be so proud.” It follows from the very Southern insult of “Where were you raised?!?!” ---
**Author:** ![johnboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e47c2d/32.png) [@johnboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnboy)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2000, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-best-insult-in-25-words-or-less/24398/6 "2000-07-03T19:34:54Z")
As far as insulting bad drivers I prefer the words on George Carlin: “Hey, you drive like old people fuck…SLOW and SLOPPY!” ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2000, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-best-insult-in-25-words-or-less/24398/7 "2000-07-03T20:54:05Z")
“You look like a leper’s bowel movement” ---
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2000, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-best-insult-in-25-words-or-less/24398/8 "2000-07-03T21:19:04Z")
“Exlax for brains!” ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2000, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-best-insult-in-25-words-or-less/24398/9 "2000-07-04T02:47:49Z")
I usually find out which celebrities people hate, then say something along the lines of: “Hey, that new haircut kind of makes you look like Pauly Shore.” Either that or I use words like “gonad”, “smegma”, or “munging” in my insults. Then there’s my favorite comedic retort: “Oh YEAH?!? Well, you’re stupid!” ---
**Author:** ![\_D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/71c47a/32.png) [@\_D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_D)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2000, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-best-insult-in-25-words-or-less/24398/10 "2000-07-04T03:56:17Z")
😛 (That’s supposed to be a tongue sticking out. Looked different in the old set of smilies.) ---
**Author:** ![Byzantine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dfb087/32.png) [@Byzantine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Byzantine)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2000, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-best-insult-in-25-words-or-less/24398/11 "2000-07-04T04:04:32Z")
Who? ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2000, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-best-insult-in-25-words-or-less/24398/12 "2000-07-04T04:16:34Z")
Well, I don’t tend to be very nasty, even when people deserve it. However, I have to repeat what I said in the “You’re so skinny” thread (really, someone has GOT to tell me how to post a link, I’m getting thoroughly embarrassed) If you look down your nose, adopt a haughty tone and say "Ex **SCUSE ME?"** You generally get your point across. Although I have to say, this is somewhat difficult when you are only 5’4". Scotti ---
**Author:** ![soulsling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@soulsling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulsling)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2000, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-best-insult-in-25-words-or-less/24398/13 "2000-07-04T05:45:30Z")
Some of you might like [THIS](http://www.upstart.xe.com/abuse/) site if you want to find senseless insults or feel the need for some verbal abuse. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![capacitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@capacitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capacitor)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2000, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-best-insult-in-25-words-or-less/24398/14 "2000-07-04T06:29:15Z")
You got housebroken wee-wee pads; but you don’t own a pet yet. Then I saw your girlfriend licking her left arm; Oh I get it. ---
**Author:** ![CanadianSue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@CanadianSue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanadianSue)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2000, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-best-insult-in-25-words-or-less/24398/15 "2000-07-04T06:30:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Smeghead \* > \*\*Moist tuft of rectal pubic hair. \*\* Klingon Klingon ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2000, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-best-insult-in-25-words-or-less/24398/16 "2000-07-04T07:16:27Z")
Where’s Neuro Trash Grrl? Now _there’s_ one who can effortlessly pull forth the most perfect, scathing insult without once using a cliche or hackneyed image! Damn, I really, really want to grow up to be her, but I’m already older and screwed up the chance years ago. But damned if I can’t appreciate lethal, erudite, suave insults when I see 'em! Veb ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2000, 9:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-best-insult-in-25-words-or-less/24398/17 "2000-07-04T09:10:53Z")
Then there’s my all time favorite _Red Dwarf_ quote (I’m a fan, if you hadn’t guessed): “Stop your foul whining, you filthy piece of distended rectum!” - Rimmer to Rimmer. ---
**Author:** ![tshirts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/839c29/32.png) [@tshirts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tshirts)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2000, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-best-insult-in-25-words-or-less/24398/18 "2000-07-04T15:17:56Z")
The one that always hurt me in staff meetings was the IS support guy who kept saying something he learned in the army to shut up recruits who complained. Me: “The main printer’s been down all day. Can’t you fix it or swap it out? I have reports due.” Him, with extreme unction: “ **That sounds like a personal problem.** ” And everyone knew you had been dismissed. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2000, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-best-insult-in-25-words-or-less/24398/19 "2000-07-04T16:47:20Z")
Even though it’s incorrect, that’s still the best usage of the expression “extreme unction” that I’ve ever seen. ---
**Author:** ![spiceweasel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b19c9b/32.png) [@spiceweasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spiceweasel)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2000, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-best-insult-in-25-words-or-less/24398/20 "2000-07-04T19:17:25Z")
I’d rather set my hair on fire and put it out with a sledgehammer than spend another moment with you. (Courtesy MST2K) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-best-insult-in-25-words-or-less/24398.md?page=2)