# What's your favorite epitaph? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 23, 2005, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-epitaph/295837 "2005-03-23T03:44:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![JoeSki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b487fb/32.png) [@JoeSki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoeSki)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-epitaph/295837/1 "2005-03-23T03:44:22Z")
I love Benjamin Franklin’s. > [@](#): > > ``` > The body of > B. Franklin, Printer > (Like the Cover of an Old Book > Its Contents torn Out > And Stript of its Lettering and Gilding) > Lies Here, Food for Worms. > But the Work shall not be Lost; > For it will (as he Believ'd) Appear once More > In a New and More Elegant Edition > Revised and Corrected > By the Author. > > ``` I’m not a fan or poetry. To me it’s music without sound, but I really think this bit here is a thing of beauty. I can only hope the words on my tombstone sum me up in such a refined and sublime way. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-epitaph/295837/2 "2005-03-23T03:47:21Z")
“I told you I wasn’t feeling well!” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-epitaph/295837/3 "2005-03-23T04:44:18Z")
I don’t recall the woman’s name, but in the early '80’s there was a minor shitstorm in the Municipal Cemetary of Framingham, MA. She chose an epitaph that summed things up quite succinctly: Oh, Shit! ---
**Author:** ![Grits\_and\_Hard\_Toast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@Grits\_and\_Hard\_Toast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grits_and_Hard_Toast)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-epitaph/295837/4 "2005-03-23T05:01:43Z")
There is not always tomorrow. ---
**Author:** ![Reply](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/reply/32/15952_2.png) [@Reply](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reply)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-epitaph/295837/5 "2005-03-23T05:18:55Z")
Snopes has the [best epitaph ever](http://www.snopes.com/photos/grave.asp). ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-epitaph/295837/6 "2005-03-23T05:36:28Z")
Robert Louis Stevenson: Under the wide and starry sky, dig the grave and let me lie; Glad did I live and gladly die and I laid me down with a will. This be the verse you gave for me; here he lies where he longs to be, Home is the sailor, home from the sea, and the hunter home from the hill. ---
**Author:** ![gum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bbe5ce/32.png) [@gum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gum)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-epitaph/295837/7 "2005-03-23T05:44:57Z")
“Excuse my dust” Dorothy Parker. ---
**Author:** ![Andros\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/49beb7/32.png) [@Andros\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andros_X)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-epitaph/295837/8 "2005-03-23T06:31:30Z")
Good friend, for Jesus´ sake forbeare To digg the dust enclosed here! Blest be ye man that spares thes stones And curst be he that moues my bones. -Wm. Shakespeare ---
**Author:** ![Large\_Marge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/50afbb/32.png) [@Large\_Marge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Large_Marge)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-epitaph/295837/9 "2005-03-23T06:56:08Z")
Truth serves only a world that lives by it. ---
**Author:** ![Already\_in\_Use](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@Already\_in\_Use](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Already_in_Use)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-epitaph/295837/10 "2005-03-23T07:26:15Z")
“Anyway, it’s always other people who die.” – Epitaph of Marcel Duchamp. Or how about “Confusion”? ---
**Author:** ![marky33](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@marky33](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marky33)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 9:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-epitaph/295837/11 "2005-03-23T09:49:07Z")
“Here lies David St. Hubbins, and why not?”: requested epitaph for Spinal Tap lead singer. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 10:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-epitaph/295837/12 "2005-03-23T10:16:43Z")
This one is from a Massachusetts churchyard, I believe: > [@](#): > > Here lies the body of Mary Ann Lowder; > She burst whilst drinking a Seidlitz powder; > Called from this world to her heavenly rest, > She should have waited till it effervesced. ---
**Author:** ![seosamh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@seosamh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seosamh)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 10:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-epitaph/295837/13 "2005-03-23T10:31:10Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > “I told you I wasn’t feeling well!” Of course, Spike Milligan wanted “See, I told you I was ill” on his gravestone, although in the end it was only allowed if it was written in Irish. _Duirt mé leat go raibh mé breoite_ (although I understand that the translation is a bit iffy). He’s buried in [Winchelsea](http://www.glenister.info/grave4.htm), in East Sussex. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 10:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-epitaph/295837/14 "2005-03-23T10:46:00Z")
Lady Florence Sale, indomitable Victorian _mem-sahib_: Under this stone reposes all that could die of Lady Sale. ---
**Author:** ![Scoundrel\_Swanswater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dfb087/32.png) [@Scoundrel\_Swanswater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scoundrel_Swanswater)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-epitaph/295837/15 "2005-03-23T11:24:28Z")
The owner of the local paintshop where I grew up had _He brought colour to our lives_ That brought out a chuckle when I first saw it. ---
**Author:** ![the\_first\_supraliminal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f475e1/32.png) [@the\_first\_supraliminal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_first_supraliminal)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-epitaph/295837/16 "2005-03-23T11:47:53Z")
I was fond of the tombstone that just said “P. Burns” Always good for a laugh. ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-epitaph/295837/17 "2005-03-23T12:23:59Z")
Here lies Lester Moore Four slugs from a .44 No Les no more [http://www.ghost-trackers.org/images/boothill3.jpg](http://www.ghost-trackers.org/images/boothill3.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![DrMemory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/977dab/32.png) [@DrMemory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrMemory)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-epitaph/295837/18 "2005-03-23T13:42:21Z")
Here lies the body of Mary Lee Lived to the age of 103. For 16 years she kept her virginity. Not a bad record, for this Vicinity. ---
**Author:** ![Podkayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Podkayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Podkayne)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-epitaph/295837/19 "2005-03-23T14:06:48Z")
Johannes Kepler: > [@](#): > > Mensus eram coelos, nunc Terrae metior umbras. > Mens coelestis erat, corporis umbra jacet. I used to measure the Heavens, now I measure the shadows of Earth. The mind belonged to Heaven, the body’s shadow lies here. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-epitaph/295837/20 "2005-03-23T14:15:29Z")
I used to have a Ripley’s Believe it or Not book of gravestones, which claimed all of them were real (including some above, like the now-generally-discredited Lester Moore tombstone). Agfter all these years, I still remember a lot of them. I take no stand on their veracity: \*\*Here beneath this stone we lie Back to back, My Wife and I And when the angel’s trump shall trill If she gets up, then I’ll lie still Here beneath this stone our Baby lies She neither cries nor hollers She lived just one and twenty days And cost us forty dollars In Loving Memory of Ellen Shannon Aged 26 Fatally burned in the Explosion of a Lamp Filled with Danforth’s Non-Explosive Fluid John Yeast Pardon Me For Not Rising Lee Lee \*\*(This one in Lee County, Mississippi, no less) \*\*P.S. The Old Nuisance In memory of \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ Fell to Earth Jan. 14 1846 Had the dust brushed off him Mar. 25, 1888 \*\* [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-epitaph/295837.md?page=2)