# What's your favorite Far Side?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-far-side/14303>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [March 2, 2000, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-far-side/14303 "2000-03-02T01:15:00Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Jeannie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@Jeannie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeannie)\
**Post date:** [March 2, 2000, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-far-side/14303/1 "2000-03-02T01:15:00Z")

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I know it’s hard to explain Far Side panels, but let’s try.

My favorites are:

There’s a field of cows and some cars driving by. The cows are yelling at the cars, “Yak, yak, yak, yak…”

Captain Hook is on one side with a phone to his ear. The Crocodile is on the other side saying in to his phone, “Tick, tock, tick, tock.”

This guy is in hell, walking and whistling happily. One devil says to another, “We’re just not getting to that guy.”

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**Author:** ![PurpleCrackwhore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc348/32.png) [@PurpleCrackwhore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PurpleCrackwhore)\
**Post date:** [March 2, 2000, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-far-side/14303/2 "2000-03-02T01:26:00Z")

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Gotta be the one with two polar bears… one is lifting an igloo and the other is standing looking dumbfounded while the eskimo makes a clean getaway… the caption reads… “I lift… you grab… Was that concept just a little too complex for you to grasp?”

Ever since, whenever someone has that same dumbfounded look…those are the words that flow out of my mouth

* * *

I really try to be good but it just isn’t in my nature!

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**Author:** ![MadPoet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8c91f0/32.png) [@MadPoet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadPoet)\
**Post date:** [March 2, 2000, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-far-side/14303/3 "2000-03-02T01:45:00Z")

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I hear you fancy yourself a tuba player…

* * *

[http://www.madpoet.com](http://www.madpoet.com)  
Clerks - Just because they serve you doesn’t mean they like you.

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**Author:** ![Oblio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/c4cdca/32.png) [@Oblio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oblio)\
**Post date:** [March 2, 2000, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-far-side/14303/4 "2000-03-02T01:50:00Z")

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How 'bought the polar bears and igloos …  
And the one one bear saying …  
Mmmmmmm , crunchy on the outside, chewy on the inside.

* * *

A point in every direction is like no point at all

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**Author:** ![Globe-trotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cab0a1/32.png) [@Globe-trotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Globe-trotter)\
**Post date:** [March 2, 2000, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-far-side/14303/5 "2000-03-02T01:55:00Z")

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Mine is “Graffiti in Hell”, where you see the Devil throwing a hissy fit after reading some of the graffiti:

Satan is a warm and tender guy

For a pleasant conversation, call Satan 555-1232

Hey! You call this hot?

* * *

“I thought: opera, how hard can it be? Songs. Pretty girls dancing. Nice scenery. Lots of people handing over cash. Got to be better than the cut-throat world of yoghurt, I thought.” - Seldom Bucket

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**Author:** ![jaydabee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c89c15/32.png) [@jaydabee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jaydabee)\
**Post date:** [March 2, 2000, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-far-side/14303/6 "2000-03-02T01:56:00Z")

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1.When Einstein writes a whole board full of equations and comes to the conclusion that time=$

2.When the goofy kid is so happy that is thingy arrived in mail. (Wish my thingy would get here!)

* * *

watch what you say  
or they’ll be calling  
you a radical,  
a liberal,fanatical  
a criminal…

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**Author:** ![WillGolfForFood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/82dd89/32.png) [@WillGolfForFood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WillGolfForFood)\
**Post date:** [March 2, 2000, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-far-side/14303/7 "2000-03-02T02:02:00Z")

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The one with the two spiders spinning a web at the bottom end of a playground slide, with one saying to the other “if we can pull this off, we’ll eat like kings”.

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**Author:** ![Fillet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/2acd7d/32.png) [@Fillet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fillet)\
**Post date:** [March 2, 2000, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-far-side/14303/8 "2000-03-02T02:10:00Z")

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1. The birds’-eye view of the world, where everyone has bull’s-eyes painted on their heads.

2. What really happened to Elvis (Elvis makes a stop at the Bates Motel)

3. Scotty in Hell (“Satan, it’s the main megafurnace! I don’t think she can take it much longer!”)

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**Author:** ![NickyLarson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b2d939/32.png) [@NickyLarson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NickyLarson)\
**Post date:** [March 2, 2000, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-far-side/14303/9 "2000-03-02T02:12:00Z")

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Two houses side by side, with fences around them, and signe identifing them. The one on the left has dog-like animals milling about and the sign ‘Ed’s Dingo Farm’. On the right the fence is full of babies with the sign ‘Doreen’s Nursury’. The caption read: **Trouble Brewing**

The other showed a large glass window, like you’d find in a recording studio, set in a rock wall. In the foreground sits the devil, holding and surrounded by New Age albums. Behind the glass is a black man, arms stretched across the window, a crazed expression on his face. He obviously doesn’t care for the sound.  
That captio: **Charlie Parker’s Private Hell**

* * *

I drive **way** too fast to worry about my cholesterol.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\
**Post date:** [March 2, 2000, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-far-side/14303/10 "2000-03-02T02:26:00Z")

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Two young birds are sitting at the breakfast table. One of them has his mouth wide open. His mouth is full of worms. The other little bird (a girl bird, I think) is saying, “Mom! Earl’s grossing me out!”

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**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\
**Post date:** [March 2, 2000, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-far-side/14303/11 "2000-03-02T02:26:00Z")

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Cat following arrows into laundry room, looking into washer with pointing sign that says 'cat fud", dog behind washer door getting ready to slam, saying to self “oh please, oh please…”

Two guys in Hell sitting on bench, one whispering to the other, “I hate this place”.

Hell, any of the Far Sides set in Hell are my favorites.

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**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\
**Post date:** [March 2, 2000, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-far-side/14303/12 "2000-03-02T02:31:00Z")

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There are so many to choose from. One of them shows one chimp grooming another, and the grooming chimp says, “A blonde hair? I suppose you’ve been some more conducting _research_ with that Jane Goodall tramp!”

Dr. Goodall saw this, guffawed, and said, “Hey, I’ve really made it! I’m in the comics!”

Unbeknownst to her, a woman executive in Goodall’s organization wrote a nasty letter to Larson which went something like “How dare you even suggest she had sex with the animals!” and so forth including threats of court action.

Years later, National Geographic wanted to put this cartoon on a t-shirt. Larson’s people said, “No, we don’t think so,” and told them about the letter. Someone from Natl. Geo. said, “That doesn’t sound like the Jane Goodall I know” and contacted her. She was very surprised to hear about this and straightened the whole thing out. (The letter-writing woman had left the organization in the interim.)

* * *

But where were the Spiders?

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**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\
**Post date:** [March 2, 2000, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-far-side/14303/13 "2000-03-02T02:40:00Z")

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The doors to the School for the Gifted.

One of the Students is leaning on the door, apparently trying with all his might to open it.

The door says ‘Pull’

* * *

_Eschew Obfuscation_

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**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\
**Post date:** [March 2, 2000, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-far-side/14303/14 "2000-03-02T02:58:00Z")

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Cave man watches a bird fly by.

He starts flapping his arms like crazy, trying to take off.

He realizes this isn’t gonna work, sits down and thinks for a while.

He gets some tree branches, vines, and a hammer, and starts banging away. In short order, he has invented the …

… bow and arrow, which he uses to shoot the bird.

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**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\
**Post date:** [March 2, 2000, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-far-side/14303/15 "2000-03-02T03:11:00Z")

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I have to second the “Midvale School for the Gifted” one.

Also, an obviously stumped Einstein is standing frustratedly before a blackboard covered with scrawlings such as: “E=mc^10” “mc/E=?” “E+m+x=c” “E=mc^3” etc…all crossed out. At the desk behind him the housekeeper says to herself: "That’s much better – everything squared away. Yes sir, _squaaaaared away_.

* * *

We struck down evil with the mighty sword of “teamwork” and the hammer of “not bickering.”

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**Author:** ![Fleetwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fleetwood/32/271_2.png) [@Fleetwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fleetwood)\
**Post date:** [March 2, 2000, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-far-side/14303/16 "2000-03-02T03:20:00Z")

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My favorite was the one with the cows standing on their rear legs talking. The lookout yells ‘Car’ and they get on all fours. After the car passes, they resume upright postures. Second favorite is all of the other 'cow’toons.

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**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\
**Post date:** [March 2, 2000, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-far-side/14303/17 "2000-03-02T03:24:00Z")

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God Makes the Snake – bearded guy rolling clay (or play-doh?) in his hands – caption is “These are a cinch!”

And ditto for the “cat fud” in the laundry room!

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**Author:** ![The\_Punkyova](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@The\_Punkyova](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Punkyova)\
**Post date:** [March 2, 2000, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-far-side/14303/18 "2000-03-02T03:32:00Z")

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Farmer Brown has been out at the chicken coop, gathering eggs. He’s walking towards the farmhouse with a basket of them. Heading out of the house toward the chicken coop is a chicken carrying a baby.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![NickyLarson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b2d939/32.png) [@NickyLarson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NickyLarson)\
**Post date:** [March 2, 2000, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-far-side/14303/19 "2000-03-02T03:38:00Z")

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Two more:

The inside of a small store, a counter and cash register and a clerk. No racks or shelves anywhere. Very high ceiling in the place, and the only shelf runs just below the ceiling. It has the packages and cans, etc.  
Caption: Inconvienience Stores

In the foreground, an easy chair with a llama reading the newspaper. Midground, is wife, also a llama, looking out the window at another llama outside, coming up the walk, carrying a briefcase.  
The wife llama is saying:  
“Llook Out Llarry, it’s the Llandllord!”

**BONUS**  
The cat couple with the wife in the kitchen opening a can, through the window are two more cats coming through the gate, the husband standing, holding a newspaper and saying:  
“Zelda, cool it! The Rothenbergs hear the can opener!”

* * *

“If I pinch my nose with my fingers, close my mouth tight,  
and blow real hard, I can make my ears bleed. It’s  
not as cool as Superman’s X-ray vision, but it’s my own  
special talent.”

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![upstatic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ce73a5/32.png) [@upstatic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/upstatic)\
**Post date:** [March 2, 2000, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-far-side/14303/20 "2000-03-02T03:54:00Z")

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“Pass the potatoes, or give me death!”

* * *

R.J.D.

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