# What's your favorite nursing employment, medical procedure or patient care joke? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 8, 2019, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-nursing-employment-medical-procedure-or-patient-care-joke/843179 "2019-11-08T17:05:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2019, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-nursing-employment-medical-procedure-or-patient-care-joke/843179/21 "2019-11-10T02:52:07Z")
I think this was a birthday card I saw once: Nurse (answering the phone): “Urology department. Can you hold?” ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2019, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-nursing-employment-medical-procedure-or-patient-care-joke/843179/22 "2019-11-10T03:52:40Z")
Knock, knock. Who’s there? HIPAA. HIPAA Who? I’m sorry, I can’t answer that. ---
**Author:** ![RioRico](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f04885/32.png) [@RioRico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RioRico)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2019, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-nursing-employment-medical-procedure-or-patient-care-joke/843179/23 "2019-11-10T06:53:25Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > Knock, knock. > Who’s there? > HIPAA. > HIPAA Who? > I’m sorry, I can’t answer that. Modern times ruined that for me. In the early 1980s I codemonkeyed at a San Francisco insurance firm whose Homeowners’ Insurance Policy system contained modules HIPAA, HIPAB… HIPAT, etc. Internally the system was HIP but externally it was HO-ACT because management thought nobody would buy a HIP policy from San Francisco after the Summer of Love. Now HIPAA is something else entirely. Groovy. ---
**Author:** ![nightshadea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7ba0ec/32.png) [@nightshadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nightshadea)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2019, 8:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-nursing-employment-medical-procedure-or-patient-care-joke/843179/24 "2019-11-10T08:37:50Z")
never trust a doctor’s office where the tongue depressors taste like 31 flavors … -larry Wilde He had a whole book of them … some dirty some not … ---
**Author:** ![PatrickLondon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/patricklondon/32/4422_2.png) [@PatrickLondon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatrickLondon)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2019, 9:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-nursing-employment-medical-procedure-or-patient-care-joke/843179/25 "2019-11-10T09:59:43Z")
I’ve just remembered one from an ancient comedy movie (written by a doctor). A woman of a certain age is seeing a doctor about her chronic constipation. “And has this being going on for long?” “Months, doctor. I’m in there for hours trying, sometimes” “And have you been taking anything for it?” “Well I usually take my knitting” ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2019, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-nursing-employment-medical-procedure-or-patient-care-joke/843179/26 "2019-11-10T12:10:00Z")
Woman visits her doctor. Her complaint: vibrator stuck in her vagina. Doctor: I can remove it, but I’m afraid it will cost $500. Woman: How much just to change the batteries? ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2019, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-nursing-employment-medical-procedure-or-patient-care-joke/843179/27 "2019-11-10T13:12:35Z")
My sister-in-law used to tell the joke about the Chinaman with a dentist appointment at 2:30 (“tooth hurtee” – yeah, it’s a bit racist) so much that it became a running gag in our family. So the other day my wife had to take my grandson to the dentist because he had an infected wisdom tooth that was causing a swollen lymph node in his neck. I just about fell off my chair laughing when she told me what time the appointment was. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2019, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-nursing-employment-medical-procedure-or-patient-care-joke/843179/28 "2019-11-10T13:45:19Z")
> [@Shoeless](#): > > So the other day my wife had to take my grandson to the dentist because he had an infected wisdom tooth that was causing a swollen lymph node in his neck. I just about fell off my chair laughing when she told me what time the appointment was. Many dental practices set aside the 2:30 appt for same day appointments. It’s rather customary. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favorite-nursing-employment-medical-procedure-or-patient-care-joke/843179.md?page=1)