# What's your favourite mangled metaphor? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 9, 2005, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favourite-mangled-metaphor/311741 "2005-07-09T13:14:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Nature\_s\_Call](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nature_s_call/32/19006_2.png) [@Nature\_s\_Call](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nature_s_Call)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2005, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favourite-mangled-metaphor/311741/1 "2005-07-09T13:14:39Z")
When preparing ourselves for a difficult challenge I offered the opinion to my team, “We’ve got to grab the bull by the horns and wade through this thing.” Mercifully no one called me on the mixed metaphor, but I’ve never forgiven myself. I’m seeking your help to compile the definative list of mangled metaphors, which I will transcribe by hand onto toilet paper as penance. For starters: “Surf the web” “Cold as hell” “Having to eat the elephant is a hard pill to swallow.” ---
**Author:** ![FaerieBeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e95f7d/32.png) [@FaerieBeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FaerieBeth)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2005, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favourite-mangled-metaphor/311741/2 "2005-07-09T14:02:37Z")
My favorite is “colder than a witch’s brass monkey”. I can’t remember where I heard it first, but I use this one all the time. ---
**Author:** ![NoPretentiousCodename](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/82dd89/32.png) [@NoPretentiousCodename](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NoPretentiousCodename)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2005, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favourite-mangled-metaphor/311741/3 "2005-07-09T14:02:52Z")
“That’s the way the kitchen sinks.” ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2005, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favourite-mangled-metaphor/311741/4 "2005-07-09T14:38:07Z")
There was a line on West Wing that just tickles me. Josh is talking to Amy, who just went to the First Lady about an issue that Josh had earlier dismissed. He says, “You went above my head behind my back,” to which Amy replies, “Quite the contortionist am I.” I love Aaron Sorkin. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2005, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favourite-mangled-metaphor/311741/5 "2005-07-09T14:51:39Z")
It’s not so much a mixed metaphor as a mangled simile, but what I thought of on seeing the OP was the universal retort for emphasis: Does the pope shit in the woods? ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2005, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favourite-mangled-metaphor/311741/6 "2005-07-09T14:56:44Z")
Being a lifelong procrastinator, I sometimes tell myself, “Keep fucking the dog and you’re gonna screw the pooch.” These two, outwardly similar metaphors actually don’t mean the same thing at all. Fucking the dog is dragging your heels, dawdling or wasting time. Screwing the pooch is messing up a task or blowing an opportunity, usually used in the past tense. ---
**Author:** ![rexnervous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e9c0ed/32.png) [@rexnervous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rexnervous)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2005, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favourite-mangled-metaphor/311741/7 "2005-07-09T15:22:48Z")
When I was about 9 my Dad, brothers and I were playing a little 2-on-2 football in the front yard. I’m on defense guarding the QB, and I yell at my brother who’s covering the receiver… “Stick to him like glue on a blanket” Well, my Dad thought it was funny 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2005, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favourite-mangled-metaphor/311741/8 "2005-07-09T15:28:54Z")
I thought I made this one up. At least, I’d never heard it before I said it. A search results in a couple-thousand hits, though. Anyway, I’ve been saying it since the '80s: We’ll burn that bridge when we come to it. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2005, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favourite-mangled-metaphor/311741/9 "2005-07-09T15:30:34Z")
> [@Johnny L.A.](#): > > I thought I made this one up. At least, I’d never heard it before I said it. A search results in a couple-thousand hits, though. Anyway, I’ve been saying it since the '80s: > > We’ll burn that bridge when we come to it. As far as this metaphor goes, I always use the one attributed to Ted Kennedy… ---
**Author:** ![athelas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@athelas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/athelas)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2005, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favourite-mangled-metaphor/311741/10 "2005-07-09T16:23:47Z")
From [I Always Look Up the Word “Egregious”](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0760708371/qid=1120927210/sr=8-1/ref=pd_bbs_ur_1/103-1008312-4764667?v=glance&s=books&n=507846), “When the thief struck her, she fell down with a thug”. ---
**Author:** ![iwakura43](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de0a6/32.png) [@iwakura43](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iwakura43)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2005, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favourite-mangled-metaphor/311741/11 "2005-07-09T17:47:07Z")
That’s a kettle of fish of a different color. ---
**Author:** ![E.Thorp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@E.Thorp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E.Thorp)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2005, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favourite-mangled-metaphor/311741/12 "2005-07-09T19:38:46Z")
You’ve buttered your bread, now lie in it. ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2005, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favourite-mangled-metaphor/311741/13 "2005-07-09T20:12:28Z")
“There’s Ubangis in the fuel supply!” A good catch-all for any kind of weird problem. ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2005, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favourite-mangled-metaphor/311741/14 "2005-07-09T20:44:21Z")
If the shoe fits, wear it on the other foot. Not really mangled, but changed by Heinlein: No sense closing the barn door after the barn’s been stolen. This lyric from “Little Mary Sunshine”: > [@](#): > > You’ve made your bed a rolling stone > And now the shoe won’t fit. > You’ve had your cake and should have known > You’d have to lay in it. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2005, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favourite-mangled-metaphor/311741/15 "2005-07-09T21:15:27Z")
When asked to answer an unswerable question by a patient, like “when will it stop hurting completely?” I like to fall back on this little soliloquy: “How high is up? What is the sound of one hand clapping? Is the pope catholic? Some things we just don’t know, you see.” Second favorite response: “When the pain is gone, it won’t be there anymore”. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2005, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favourite-mangled-metaphor/311741/16 "2005-07-09T21:40:29Z")
“Look folks, this isn’t rocket surgery.” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![vl\_mungo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc8723/32.png) [@vl\_mungo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vl_mungo)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2005, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favourite-mangled-metaphor/311741/17 "2005-07-09T23:06:37Z")
One brick short of half a deck of cards in the water. ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2005, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favourite-mangled-metaphor/311741/18 "2005-07-10T00:20:27Z")
You can lead a gifthorse to water, but you can’t look into his mouth. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2005, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favourite-mangled-metaphor/311741/19 "2005-07-10T01:35:41Z")
“Well, that’ll throw a monkey in the wrench!” ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2005, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favourite-mangled-metaphor/311741/20 "2005-07-10T01:43:57Z")
“let it roll off your back like a duck” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-favourite-mangled-metaphor/311741.md?page=2)