# Whats Your First Line ? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 19, 2000, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-first-line/16173 "2000-04-19T07:03:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![NothingMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b77776/32.png) [@NothingMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NothingMan)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-first-line/16173/1 "2000-04-19T07:03:00Z")
I enjoyed the thread about favorite first lines from novels. So if **you** were to write a book, what would your first line be ? I’ll go first : “He found himself hovering only inches above a vast angry black ocean that stretched to the horizon.” ---
**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-first-line/16173/2 "2000-04-19T07:26:00Z")
Looking out over the vast expanse of the ocean from her porch, she realized why the intervening years had not changed her perspective about him one iota. * * * You are more than a human being, you are a human becoming. Og Mandino That’s my name, not a description. I am neither purple nor a bear. Okay, so I’m purple.\ ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-first-line/16173/3 "2000-04-19T08:48:00Z")
There is no direct route to Santa Fe. * * * “Hush, village idiot!” ---
**Author:** ![waterj2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/858c86/32.png) [@waterj2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/waterj2)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-first-line/16173/4 "2000-04-19T11:58:00Z")
I woke up that morning with an intense hatred of sunlight and a feeling of general confusion as to where I was and how I had ended up there. ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-first-line/16173/5 "2000-04-19T12:23:00Z")
Nurse Brown smelled like good Italian bread. * * * Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good dipped in chocolate. ---
**Author:** ![G.B.H.Hornswoggler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c67d28/32.png) [@G.B.H.Hornswoggler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G.B.H.Hornswoggler)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-first-line/16173/6 "2000-04-19T12:32:00Z")
There’s no good way to tell a man he’s already dead. * * * I’m your only friend I’m not your only friend But I’m a little glowing friend But really I’m not actually your friend But I am ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-first-line/16173/7 "2000-04-19T12:37:00Z")
It was a primary color day. The sky was the very definition of “blue,” and the trees an impossible “green.” ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-first-line/16173/8 "2000-04-19T12:41:00Z")
When both my parachutes turned out to be malfunctioning, I realized this was going to be one short-ass book. ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-first-line/16173/9 "2000-04-19T13:22:00Z")
The ironic ridiculousness of the situation hit me, almost physically, as I dodged my grandmother’s fragile, flaying fists. ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-first-line/16173/10 "2000-04-19T13:39:00Z")
It was a dark and stormy night… ---
**Author:** ![ignatiusjreilly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/2acd7d/32.png) [@ignatiusjreilly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ignatiusjreilly)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-first-line/16173/11 "2000-04-19T14:03:00Z")
I always knew my little habit was going to cause big problems someday. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-first-line/16173/12 "2000-04-19T14:20:00Z")
“Surprise!” (Actually, that _is_ the first line of my book.) Esprix * * * ## [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) (or, if you prefer the Jesusfied version, [Asketh the damn Priest Guy!](http://www.askjesus.org/ask.cgi?http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html)) ## “Never assume a malicious intent when stupidity will explain just as well.” {This space reserved for a Genuine WallyM7 Sig™} ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-first-line/16173/13 "2000-04-19T14:39:00Z")
Chapter One * * * After all, what is your hosts’ purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they’d have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi. – P. J. O’Rourke ---
**Author:** ![pldennison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc29f/32.png) [@pldennison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pldennison)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-first-line/16173/14 "2000-04-19T14:40:00Z")
“Out of my way, jackass!” he shouted at the Hilfiger-clad yuppie, cellphone glued to his ear, who strolled across the middle of the street like an arrogant urban Moses parting the rush-hour traffic. ---
**Author:** ![mega\_the\_roo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3da27b/32.png) [@mega\_the\_roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mega_the_roo)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-first-line/16173/15 "2000-04-19T14:59:00Z")
Hi. * * * “Organs gross me out. That’s _organs_, not orgasms.” -the wallster ---
**Author:** ![Pixoid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Pixoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixoid)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-first-line/16173/16 "2000-04-19T15:20:00Z")
The End. * * * ## My classes are optional. So is graduating. (Certifiable **WallyM7** Sig) Homepage: [www.lightwave.com](http://www.lightwave.com) Occupation: Photon Location: I’m still stuck on this phosphor screen Interests: Illuminescence, Phosphorescence and Florescence (Profile by **UncleBeer** ) ---
**Author:** ![Occam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Occam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Occam)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-first-line/16173/17 "2000-04-19T15:37:00Z")
It was a good thing the unwed pregnant man had no inhabitions. * * * “Clatu, Verrata…nector?..neck-tie?” ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-first-line/16173/18 "2000-04-19T15:39:00Z")
oooh, good one! Occam. * * * A little persistance goes a long way. Announcing: “I go on guilt trips a couple of time a year. Mom books them for me.” A custom made Wally .sig! ---
**Author:** ![Boris\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/fbc32d/32.png) [@Boris\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boris_B)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-first-line/16173/19 "2000-04-19T15:49:00Z")
“Don’t call me Ishmael. Ishy will do nicely.” That’s the first line from _Moby Dick 2: Electric Bugaloo_. I haven’t thought of the opening line to _Moby Dick 3: In 3D_ yet. Keiko will play the title role in the movie version of _Moby Dick 4: The Final Chapter_, in which it is not explained how a white whale can turn into an orca. _Moby Dick 5: Abolutely the Last Movie in this Series_ and _Moby Dick: A New Beginning_ have not yet been greenlighted, but I’m keeping my fingers crossed. ---
**Author:** ![smilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/48db29/32.png) [@smilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smilla)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-first-line/16173/20 "2000-04-20T05:57:00Z")
What is it about Thursdays? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-first-line/16173.md?page=2)