# Whats Your First Line ? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 19, 2000, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-first-line/16173 "2000-04-19T07:03:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![MadPoet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8c91f0/32.png) [@MadPoet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadPoet)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-first-line/16173/21 "2000-04-19T22:58:00Z")
My father was a great man. I was an idiot. * * * [http://www.madpoet.com](http://www.madpoet.com) I am human, and I need to be loved Just like anybody else does ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-first-line/16173/22 "2000-04-19T23:53:00Z")
Why in the twelve Hells couldn’t he get it right? The sequel: His father’s mistakes had served Jared well. (Yes, I am planning to use those.) * * * _Eschew Obfuscation_ ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-first-line/16173/23 "2000-04-20T00:03:00Z")
I forgot what we named the new baby, but I’m sure it’ll come to me if I think about it for awhile. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-first-line/16173/24 "2000-04-20T01:11:00Z")
The whole thing began with a blunder on my part, an entirely innocent piece of clumsiness, a _gaffe,_ as the French call it. * * * Uke ---
**Author:** ![TheNerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TheNerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheNerd)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-first-line/16173/25 "2000-04-20T01:30:00Z")
There’s a time and a place for everything. This may be it. ---
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-first-line/16173/26 "2000-04-20T01:39:00Z")
The man approached, raising his hand as if meaning to strike her. Instead, he flung his hand out and said, “I usually take it in the rear.” She rolled her eyes, picked up a menu and took him to a table at the back of the restaurant. * * * My kids brighten up our home. They never turn the lights off. - **A Wallyism** ---
**Author:** ![as\_u\_wish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6f9a4e/32.png) [@as\_u\_wish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/as_u_wish)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-first-line/16173/27 "2000-04-20T02:08:00Z")
“Fifteen two, fifteen four, and a double run for makes twelve. Not bad. Not bad. Lemme see check mah crib.” God! Warm beer, twangy music, and non-stop drivel. Karl glared and shuffled, swaring for the hundredth time never ever to get sucked into another game with Tully. * * * Inconceivable? I don’t think that word means what you think it does. ---
**Author:** ![NothingMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b77776/32.png) [@NothingMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NothingMan)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-first-line/16173/28 "2000-04-20T04:13:00Z")
Coldie, you crack me up man, you really do. ---
**Author:** ![Homer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Homer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homer)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-first-line/16173/29 "2000-04-20T04:32:00Z")
I’ve never seen a man eat so many chicken wings. OR Many days I had woken up wishing everyone else were dead, and apparently this day my wish had come true. OR It’s not often you see something like this in person, usually you just hear about it on the news, or from a friend the next day. OR I didn’t understand right then exactly what the naked german man meant when he shouted at me to return my blender to the elephant, but believe me, I soon would. * * * You can’t accidently create a handicapped baby whilst smoking pot. - **Coldfire** ---
**Author:** ![Surgoshan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Surgoshan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surgoshan)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-first-line/16173/30 "2000-04-20T04:34:00Z")
As she fell dead at my feet, I realized something; I was **not** going to get laid this weeknd. Thank God for beer, I suppose. * * * I sold my soul to Satan for a dollar. I got it in the mail. ---
**Author:** ![Catrandom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7bcc69/32.png) [@Catrandom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catrandom)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-first-line/16173/31 "2000-04-20T04:45:00Z")
We landed at Port Latrobe just after dawn with fifteen passengers and a five-man crew. By that afternoon, all of us were dead. Catrandom ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-first-line/16173/32 "2000-04-20T04:58:00Z")
Humanity takes many forms. For every joyous soul rejoicing in the light there is an equally dark and bitter being railing at the gods. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-first-line/16173/33 "2000-04-20T05:05:00Z")
My boss has a lot of weird allergies. Garlic, for one. And direct sunlight. He didn’t seem to mind the crucifix on my desk much, until I had Father Dimitri bless it… * * * Now in my second month of exile in the 21 pit ---
**Author:** ![G.B.H.Hornswoggler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c67d28/32.png) [@G.B.H.Hornswoggler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G.B.H.Hornswoggler)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-first-line/16173/34 "2000-04-20T12:42:00Z")
Understand, first of all, that I take no responsibility for what happened in Taos. (or) That bastard always had it in for me, since the day we met in Basic. (or) Lester was a perfectly ordinary man in all respects, save one: he had abnormally large elbows. (or) When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the bands that have connected their neighbors with life, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation. I hold these truths to be self-evident: that Arthur Gallo deserved to die and is now burning in hell. * * * I’m your only friend I’m not your only friend But I’m a little glowing friend But really I’m not actually your friend But I am ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-first-line/16173/35 "2000-04-20T12:50:00Z")
Why is it you only realize you’ve made a really stupid error in judgement _after_ you see the headlights coming for you? * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-first-line/16173.md?page=1)