Lessee, there was Ultima 3, a landmark computer game for me, because I distinctly remember destroying the disk no less than FOUR TIMES. (Two of them when I got swarmed by a huge enemy force, one more time when that whirlpool took out most of my ships, aaaand the very last time when I inserted the cards into the wrong slots and got wasted.) I swear that game took at least three years off of my life. A greater source of electronic aggravataion and frustration and pain and horror and misery I’ve never seen. My dad actually threatened to cut me off of computer games permanently twice for that one game.
Defender of the Crown. Every system, every incarnation. Here’s how a typical game goes: 1. You suffer horrible disaster. 2. Repeat 1 until you lose the game. And lord forbid you have anything other than perfect, glorious triumph in any of the tasks, or else you lose even faster. I have never seen a more ludicrous, sloppily-programmed excuse for a game in my life*.
The time I hooked up my joystick into a PS1, loaded International Track And Field, turned on rapid fire…and was greeted by “Using Trick?” and rapid fire being rendered useless. Tell me, how is it a huge colossal titanic improvement to TAKE OUT EVERYTHING THAT MADE THE GAME FUN?? (I feel exactly the same way out of the revamped Pirates, Defender of the Crown, etc.) Want to placate the purists? Fine…make rapid-fire lockout an option. That you choose. Not an automatic feature that can’t be turned off. An option. Which can be turned off (or not turned on, depending). Putting the choice in the player’s hands. That’s not asking for the universe, is it?
Puzzle Bobble (a.k.a. Bust-a-Move) for the SNES or whatever system. See, when the object of the game is to line up three objects of the same color, three things happen: 1. you match up two objects of the same color, then have to wait the equivalent of four stages of the Tour de France for another object of that color, 2. the color that’s blocked and inaccessible, you’ll get a minumim of three objects of that color for every triple-able object you get, and 3. 1 & 2 will repeat rougly 200 times every damn level. How Taito managed to avoid going bankrupt to release no fewer than 5 chapters of this utterly execrable franchise, I’ll never understand.
World Heroes 2. Dio. The Tiger Woods** of fighting games.
Prince of Persia 2. Stupid, stupid tossing out of simple running jumps at the edge(necessiated due to making stupid, stupid, stupid before-the-edge running jumps required), resulting in stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid jump timing, resulting in roughly half a million stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupidstupidstupid STUUUUPPIIIIIDDDD falls.
Street Fighter 2. I freakin’ hate this game. I’ve fought hundreds of matches, I know all the moves, all the attacks, all the strengths and weaknesses, and to this day I still get utterly obliterated by Sagat at anything higher than kiddie difficulty. Don’t get me started on this “Champion Edition” insanity.
Well, that’s about it for the classic stuff. Now to the highly coveted “PS2 games I rated 3 or less on GameFAQs” category.
Bloody Roar 3 - Too hard. Can’t do a damn thing. Bashing my shins in with a crowbar would’ve been more enjoyable.
King of Route 66 - The most frustrating thing? Races where you have to blast nitrous pretty much continuously to have a chance. And races where you run out of time before you’re even two-thirds done, which constutute the other 70% of the game.
NBA Ballers - “Win the game by Taking Down The House! Of course, the command to do this isn’t given in the game or the instructions, nor is it anywhere on the Midway website. You’ll just have to, er, hunt and peck for it in the heat of an incredibly intense one-on-one basketball game. And this is perfectly fine because…uh…it just is, all right?”
WWE Smackdown: Shut Your Mouth - Another one of those games where you have to absolutely perfect or get smashed 300 ways from Wednesday, and can dominate for 95% of the match, slip up a bit, and get smashed 300 ways from Wednesday. :mad:
fiddlesticks - Super Maro Bros. 2? If you die at the final boss, you start over at the final boss. I’m surprised that you brought that one up; I didn’t find that frustrating at all. Well, maybe Clawgrip, but even he wasn’t that frustrating.
- I finally learned the winning strategy, but too late to undo years of frustration.
** Yes, I already know about “Omega Tiger Woods”, no need for a link.