# What's your get-rich-quick plan? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 5, 2009, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-get-rich-quick-plan/505473 "2009-08-05T21:58:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2009, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-get-rich-quick-plan/505473/1 "2009-08-05T21:58:45Z")
I know I’m going to become wealthy beyond Bill Gates’s wild fantasies by selling mercury-free tuna fish. Step 1. Get a bunch of tunas. Step 2. Chelate them. Step 3. Breed my now mercury-free tuna on my vast unpolluted inland fish farm, and end up with lots of metal-free baby tunas. Step 4. Profit!!! ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2009, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-get-rich-quick-plan/505473/2 "2009-08-05T22:03:58Z")
Record the Spider-Man theme to the tune of Eidelweiss. It’ll be money in the bank. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2009, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-get-rich-quick-plan/505473/3 "2009-08-05T22:05:39Z")
Lottery. ---
**Author:** ![Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/848f3c/32.png) [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuzzy_Dunlop)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2009, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-get-rich-quick-plan/505473/4 "2009-08-05T23:49:15Z")
> [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#): > > I know I’m going to become wealthy beyond Bill Gates’s wild fantasies by selling mercury-free tuna fish. > > Step 1. Get a bunch of tunas. > > Step 2. Chelate them. > > Step 3. Breed my now mercury-free tuna on my vast unpolluted inland fish farm, and end up with lots of metal-free baby tunas. > > Step 4. Profit!!! Birdhouses. Enough said. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_C](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Captain\_C](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_C)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-get-rich-quick-plan/505473/5 "2009-08-06T00:31:44Z")
Be the first to incorporate pornography into a new communication medium and capitalize upon it. ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-get-rich-quick-plan/505473/6 "2009-08-06T01:07:12Z")
Funny you ask, I got an email today from a deposed Nigerian prince. I’m going to use the money to invest in Ostrich farms. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-get-rich-quick-plan/505473/7 "2009-08-06T01:07:51Z")
Start a religion. ---
**Author:** ![Ruken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f475e1/32.png) [@Ruken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruken)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-get-rich-quick-plan/505473/8 "2009-08-06T01:37:29Z")
> [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#): > > Step 2. Chelate them. Mmm, tastes like thiols. Nom nom nom nom. ---
**Author:** ![De\_La\_Rue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@De\_La\_Rue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/De_La_Rue)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-get-rich-quick-plan/505473/9 "2009-08-06T02:19:56Z")
> [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](#): > > Record the Spider-Man theme to the tune of Eidelweiss. > > It’ll be money in the bank. It works (sorta) in the other direction, too: Eidelweiss, Eidelweiss, looks good and smells really nice… ---
**Author:** ![Jettboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85e7bf/32.png) [@Jettboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jettboy)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-get-rich-quick-plan/505473/10 "2009-08-06T02:20:12Z")
It involves an armored truck, a ski mask, a toy gun and a lot of running. ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-get-rich-quick-plan/505473/11 "2009-08-06T19:07:10Z")
> [@Jettboy](#): > > It involves an armored truck, a ski mask, a toy gun and a lot of running. I FUCKING told you to keep your mouth shut ! ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-get-rich-quick-plan/505473/12 "2009-08-06T19:15:24Z")
I’m going to sell pencils on a street corner. I figure that at a nickel each, I only have to sell about 5556 of them per second, and within an hour I’ll be a millionaire. ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-get-rich-quick-plan/505473/13 "2009-08-06T19:36:39Z")
I’m going to beg a dollar from each of my million internet friends. Hey, **tdn**. You got a dollar? Hey, **Lust4Life**. You got a dollar? Hey, **Jettboy**. You got a dollar? Hey, **De La Rue**. You got a dollar? Hey, **Ruken**. You got a dollar? Hey, **Terrifel**. You got a dollar? Hey, **G0sp3l**. You got a dollar? Hey, **Captain\_C**. You got a dollar? Hey, **Fuzzy Dunlop**. You got a dollar? Hey, **runner pat**. You got a dollar? Hey, **Intergalactic Gladiator**. You got a dollar? Hey, **Malleus, Incus, Stapes!** You got a dollar? Dang! This is too much like work. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-get-rich-quick-plan/505473/14 "2009-08-06T20:22:10Z")
> [@Terrifel](#): > > Start a religion. This won’t be profitable until long after you’re dead. Latch on to an already established religion, and claim you’ve seen the light. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-get-rich-quick-plan/505473/15 "2009-08-06T20:25:18Z")
> [@Daithi\_Lacha](#): > > I’m going to beg a dollar from each of my million internet friends. > > Hey, **tdn**. You got a dollar? > Hey, **Lust4Life**. You got a dollar? > Hey, **Jettboy**. You got a dollar? > Hey, **De La Rue**. You got a dollar? > Hey, **Ruken**. You got a dollar? > Hey, **Terrifel**. You got a dollar? > Hey, **G0sp3l**. You got a dollar? > Hey, **Captain\_C**. You got a dollar? > Hey, **Fuzzy Dunlop**. You got a dollar? > Hey, **runner pat**. You got a dollar? > Hey, **Intergalactic Gladiator**. You got a dollar? > Hey, **Malleus, Incus, Stapes!** You got a dollar? > Dang! This is too much like work. ☹ I sure do, just send me your banking info and I’ll get right on it. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-get-rich-quick-plan/505473/16 "2009-08-06T20:31:35Z")
> [@Terrifel](#): > > Start a religion. > [@MeanOldLady](#): > > This won’t be profitable until long after you’re dead. Latch on to an already established religion, and claim you’ve seen the light. 1.Start a religion 2.??? 3.Prophet! 1.Start a cult 2.??? 3.Profit! ---
**Author:** ![De\_La\_Rue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@De\_La\_Rue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/De_La_Rue)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2009, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-get-rich-quick-plan/505473/17 "2009-08-07T00:22:31Z")
> [@Daithi\_Lacha](#): > > I’m going to beg a dollar from each of my million internet friends. > > Hey, **tdn**. You got a dollar? > Hey, **Lust4Life**. You got a dollar? > Hey, **Jettboy**. You got a dollar? > Hey, **De La Rue**. You got a dollar? > Hey, **Ruken**. You got a dollar? > Hey, **Terrifel**. You got a dollar? > Hey, **G0sp3l**. You got a dollar? > Hey, **Captain\_C**. You got a dollar? > Hey, **Fuzzy Dunlop**. You got a dollar? > Hey, **runner pat**. You got a dollar? > Hey, **Intergalactic Gladiator**. You got a dollar? > Hey, **Malleus, Incus, Stapes!** You got a dollar? > Dang! This is too much like work. ☹ Intriguingly, this is very much like how webcomics make money. ---
**Author:** ![Washoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ecae2f/32.png) [@Washoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Washoe)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2009, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-get-rich-quick-plan/505473/18 "2009-08-07T00:31:38Z")
> [@Jettboy](#): > > It involves an armored truck, a ski mask, a toy gun and a lot of running. Ironically, that and starting a religion are the only two methods mentioned so far which actually stand a ghost of a chance of working. ---
**Author:** ![Washoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ecae2f/32.png) [@Washoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Washoe)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2009, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-get-rich-quick-plan/505473/19 "2009-08-07T00:37:14Z")
> [@Jettboy](#): > > It involves an armored truck, a ski mask, a toy gun and a lot of running. Ironically, that and starting a religion are the only two methods mentioned so far which actually stand a ghost of a chance of working. Mine is to develop some sort of psychometric test which will determine if two people will fall in love with each other, and start an Internet dating service with _absolutely guaranteed results_ or money refunded no questions asked. My fee per client will start in the $10 k range. ---
**Author:** ![Alastair\_Moonsong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3e96dc/32.png) [@Alastair\_Moonsong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alastair_Moonsong)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2009, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-get-rich-quick-plan/505473/20 "2009-08-07T01:04:35Z")
I plan on taking the old-fashioned route and just holding the world hostage with my giant Death Ray. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-get-rich-quick-plan/505473.md?page=2)