# What's your "hooker name?" **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 12, 1999, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-hooker-name/8025 "1999-08-12T20:24:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Doobieous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/da6949/32.png) [@Doobieous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doobieous)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 1999, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-hooker-name/8025/41 "1999-08-13T02:23:00Z")
I have heard many variations on this game. I’ll go through the ones here and the ones i remember. I have two choices for my hooker first name, Either spock or tor(avich) so it would be: Spock Lynscott or Tor Lynscott. Hmm not good. Using Straingers way it would be: Spartan Edwards…hmm sounds like it could be a band name…The Spartan Edwards. Another way for the porn name is to take your middle name, and then the name of your current street: James Lynscott… That actually works. For Hooker or Drag Queen name, take your dogs name, and then your mothers maiden name: Sara Edwards (it used to be Puzzle Edwards) * * * “Raw to the floor like reservoir dogs” - A.V. Helden ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 1999, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-hooker-name/8025/42 "1999-08-13T03:01:00Z")
Uh…Kitty 196th? [This does not sound like a portent of an active business-is-pleasure life] * * * Designated Optional Signature at Bottom of Post ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 1999, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-hooker-name/8025/43 "1999-08-13T04:02:00Z")
Using the first pet I remember my parents owning: Lady Jackson. (mixed-breed dog) Using the pet my parents owned when I was born: Shep Jackson (Some kind of shepherd mix) Using the first pet that I considered “mine” as a kid: Sundance Jackson (black and white cat, named to go with my Mom’s other cat, Butch) Using the first pet that was actually “mine” exclusively: Bear Jackson (one of my sister’s 2 (supposedly both male–HA!) mice’s babies) Using the first non-rodent pet that was actually “mine” exclusively: Pogo Jackson (Siamese cat, the name came with him) ---
**Author:** ![timmar68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/97f17d/32.png) [@timmar68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/timmar68)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 1999, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-hooker-name/8025/44 "1999-08-13T04:03:00Z")
I was a Navy brat so i didn’t grow up on one street. The rules that I was taught was the first name is the name of your first pet and the second one is your mothers maiden name. So my name is Scruffy Baker. (I just asked a friend of mine what his name would be and he said Collette Dwiggins. i love it!) * * * MaryAnn Sometimes life is so great you just gotta muss up your hair and quack like a duck! ---
**Author:** ![topolino](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/91b2a8/32.png) [@topolino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/topolino)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 1999, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-hooker-name/8025/45 "1999-08-13T04:24:00Z")
My, there are alot of Rusty’s. My Rusty was a Collie. I don’t have a pet now but, using the name of my most recent pet, I’d be Scarlett Sunset. Heh. At work, we have a Patch Duquene (Do-cane) and Buttons Sommerford. ---
**Author:** ![Xgemina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/b5e925/32.png) [@Xgemina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xgemina)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 1999, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-hooker-name/8025/46 "1999-08-13T06:55:00Z")
Strainger said: “First name = high school mascot, last name = mother’s maiden name” That would make it: Camel Hopper… think I’ll stick to Sabrina Colorado and get the operation… ---
**Author:** ![aseymayo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e57/32.png) [@aseymayo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aseymayo)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 1999, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-hooker-name/8025/47 "1999-08-13T07:51:00Z")
Good heavens, all the sports teams at my high school were the Quakers - the _fighting_ Quakers, no less. If I add ma’s maiden name, I get Quaker Hill. I like it…I think. (You quaker hill, you brought 'er). ---
**Author:** ![funneefarmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@funneefarmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/funneefarmer)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 1999, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-hooker-name/8025/48 "1999-08-13T11:34:00Z")
The name of the street I live on is the same as my last name and my middle name is my father’s. I’m sure my father would be just thrilled to see his name in the credits of my debut piece of porn. My first pet was a “Penny”, not sure that would work for a man. ---
**Author:** ![Guy\_Propski](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/5e9695/32.png) [@Guy\_Propski](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guy_Propski)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 1999, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-hooker-name/8025/49 "1999-08-13T12:56:00Z")
I like my youngest sister’s porn name–Prescious Smoke Rock. Sounds like a cute crackhead. ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 1999, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-hooker-name/8025/50 "1999-08-13T13:00:00Z")
Flora’s Way (first pet, street name): **Fish Wyanoke** , the aromatic madame. (Fish was a chocolate Labrador retreiver. Dad wanted a fish, the rest of the family wanted a dog, so we got a dog and named her Fish.) Strainger’s Version (high school mascot, mother’s maiden name): **Lion Winters** Doobie’s Version (middle name, current street): **Stephens Whitewater** \<— pretty cool! I LOVE THIS GAME! I’ve been laughing for a half hour. * * * Most common question I ask: “What?” Most common question I get: “Are you really hearing impaired?” ---
**Author:** ![Cap\_n\_Crude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Cap\_n\_Crude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cap_n_Crude)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 1999, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-hooker-name/8025/51 "1999-08-13T13:22:00Z")
Using the “First name = first pet, last name = street where you grew up,” we arrive at **Sam Silver** (Samantha Silver, actually. But we called her Sam, and I don’t have the right plumbing for Samantha). Pretty damn good, I’d say. The “First name = high school mascot, last name = mother’s maiden name” version sucks rocks, though – would anybody be aroused by **Spartan Eisenstat**? –Da Cap’n ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 1999, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-hooker-name/8025/52 "1999-08-13T13:29:00Z")
I’ve also been sitting at my desk stifling giggles. So far, Chris’ “Miracle Front” and Mr. Aseymayo’s “Buster Cherry” nearly had me choking. I feel for the people who grew up on numbered streets–I’m in the same fix, as I have no middle name! So I shall remain, Tiki Greentree. ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 1999, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-hooker-name/8025/53 "1999-08-13T13:47:00Z")
Cap’n, I love **Spartan Eisenstat** - it sounds like a Teutonic STUD! Like a pornographic Arnold Schwarzenegger wannabe. _"Vaitaminute. I must chop zis guy’s het off bevore I make ze luv to you. My hammah of luv vil be virth ze vait, I svear. "_\* ---
**Author:** ![Shadowfox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Shadowfox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shadowfox)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 1999, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-hooker-name/8025/54 "1999-08-13T13:54:00Z")
first pet’s name plus street name: Mario La Cruz (maybe not a porn star, but wouldn’t that make a great boxer’s name?) Shadowfox ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 1999, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-hooker-name/8025/55 "1999-08-13T14:26:00Z")
Okay, high-school-mascot-plus-maiden-name: Blue Devil Kubicek. Either I go in for NASCAR or it’s back to Molly Highland for me. * * * Uke ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 1999, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-hooker-name/8025/56 "1999-08-13T14:53:00Z")
Count Lloyd. I sound like an aristocratic gay gigilo. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 1999, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-hooker-name/8025/57 "1999-08-13T14:56:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Count Lloyd. I sound like a gay aristocratic gigilo. What in the hell do I have to do in my life to get a two syllable name? I can’t even get a decent porn star name. Wahhhhhhh ---
**Author:** ![Gr8Kat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gr8kat/32/18668_2.png) [@Gr8Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gr8Kat)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 1999, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-hooker-name/8025/58 "1999-08-13T16:14:00Z")
1st Pet name + 1st street name = Whiskers Rowell High school mascot + mother’s maiden name = Bulldog Zimmerman Middle name + current st. name = Lois Ana Guess I wasn’t meant to work in porn 🙂 * * * “I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 1999, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-hooker-name/8025/59 "1999-08-13T16:23:00Z")
Okay, here we go: 1st Pet name + 1st street name=Willy Bridge (it could work) High school mascot + mother’s maiden name=Ram Truman. Sounds more like a football player Middle name + current st. name=Nadine Barnes How very boring. Yeah, I guess the glamor and fame of porn has passed me by 😉 ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 1999, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-hooker-name/8025/60 "1999-08-13T16:29:00Z")
O.K. Here goes. Swallow your coffee now so it doesn’t shoot out your nose. Puddles Charlestown [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-hooker-name/8025.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-hooker-name/8025.md?page=4)