# What's your "hooker name?" **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 12, 1999, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-hooker-name/8025 "1999-08-12T20:24:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 1999, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-hooker-name/8025/101 "1999-08-15T08:07:00Z")
_FLASH_ from even earlier in childhood: Mickey Neartop Friends and coworkers used various methods to come up with these: Wolf White Thumper Valley King High Ginger Fairview Moose Harper Rocket Madison Rebel Lee Pepper Laurel Jiffy Brentwood Black Dog Spring Boots Lake Tornado Jane Stinky Hicks ---
**Author:** ![EnigmaOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d2c977/32.png) [@EnigmaOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EnigmaOne)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 1999, 8:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-hooker-name/8025/102 "1999-08-15T08:12:00Z")
Bunny Espejo…is it me, or does that lack something? * * * – **Kalél** (The Original **EnigmaOne** ) _Common ¢ for all ages._ ---
**Author:** ![Poto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ab992/32.png) [@Poto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poto)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 1999, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-hooker-name/8025/103 "1999-08-15T11:37:00Z")
Bohoo!I had no pet!Zero!I’ll use that then: Zero Mitchell ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 1999, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-hooker-name/8025/104 "1999-08-16T02:54:00Z")
I ran the original recipe by my girlfriend (who just said "Don’t you DARE give them my name!!!) and hers is… “Lassie Puritan!” ## …I told her to keep her day job… Designated Optional Signature at Bottom of Post ---
**Author:** ![ebeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f4b2a3/32.png) [@ebeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ebeth)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 1999, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-hooker-name/8025/105 "1999-08-16T11:11:00Z")
You guys are NUTS! I mean this in a good way. Let’s see. My first pet…I never had one, but when I was born, my parents had a cat. That would make me: Precious Chesterfield mascot/maiden: Lancer MacDonald (not bad, if you’re male…I’m not) Jedi: Saturn of NyQuil. Hm. ---
**Author:** ![SqrlCub](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SqrlCub](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SqrlCub)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 1999, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-hooker-name/8025/106 "1999-08-16T13:03:00Z")
How about Tootsie Springfield? Sounds like porn to me. However, Zette said it best with, “Snowball Dodd…hmmmmm- possibilities??”. If only she knew what snowballing was…it’s aking to feltching but not quite as gross. 🙂 HUGS! ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 1999, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-hooker-name/8025/107 "1999-08-16T14:59:00Z")
To Yota of Allegra D Hey, that actually works! * * * Most common question I ask: “What?” Most common question I get: “Are you really hearing impaired?” ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 1999, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-hooker-name/8025/108 "1999-08-16T16:59:00Z")
Herbert Oaklawn Sounds more like a bank president. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 1999, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-hooker-name/8025/109 "1999-08-17T05:39:00Z")
HA! Zsa Zsa Corkwood! This is most definitely a hooker’s name! * * * **StoryTyler** _The fun starts here!_ ---
**Author:** ![topolino](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/91b2a8/32.png) [@topolino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/topolino)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 1999, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-hooker-name/8025/110 "1999-08-17T03:53:00Z")
I thought this was great: For the jedi name, my mom was the Grand Marquis of Beta Suron ---
**Author:** ![timmar68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/97f17d/32.png) [@timmar68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/timmar68)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 1999, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-hooker-name/8025/111 "1999-08-17T04:14:00Z")
My Jedi name is Astro of Sominex. * * * MaryAnn Sometimes life is so great you just gotta muss up your hair and quack like a duck! ---
**Author:** ![Leslie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ba8739/32.png) [@Leslie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leslie)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 1999, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-hooker-name/8025/112 "1999-08-17T04:49:00Z")
Here’s how I learned to do the Star Wars Name. It’s a bit more work, but then you get a nice full, formal name : > [@](#): > > For your new first name, take the first 3 letters of your 1st name and and the first 2 letters of your last name > For your new last name, take the first 2 letters of your Mom’s maiden name and add the first 3 letters of the city you were born > How to determine your Star Wars honorific title: > Take the last three letters of your last name and reverse them. > Add the name of the first car you drove/owned. > Insert the word “of.” > Then tack on the name of the last medication you took. **Lesev Bupon, Snaventura of Nasacort** ---
**Author:** ![Catrandom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7bcc69/32.png) [@Catrandom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catrandom)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 1999, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-hooker-name/8025/113 "1999-08-17T05:18:00Z")
Boots Van Owen, which I think is the most dominatrix-like name thus far. ---
**Author:** ![MrKnowItAll](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrknowitall/32/87_2.png) [@MrKnowItAll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrKnowItAll)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 1999, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-hooker-name/8025/114 "1999-08-17T23:02:00Z")
OK, Leslie, let’s try that out. Pathu Crpor, Tnuhornet of Aspirin ## Hmm. Looks cool. I just can’t figure out how to pronounce it. Carpe hoc! ---
**Author:** ![MrKnowItAll](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrknowitall/32/87_2.png) [@MrKnowItAll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrKnowItAll)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 1999, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-hooker-name/8025/115 "1999-08-17T23:03:00Z")
OK, Leslie, let’s try that out. Pathu Crpor, Tnuhornet of Aspirin ## Hmm. Looks cool. I just can’t figure out how to pronounce it. Carpe hoc! ---
**Author:** ![MrKnowItAll](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrknowitall/32/87_2.png) [@MrKnowItAll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrKnowItAll)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 1999, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-hooker-name/8025/116 "1999-08-17T23:05:00Z")
damn… ---
**Author:** ![Valerieblaise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@Valerieblaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valerieblaise)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 1999, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-hooker-name/8025/117 "1999-08-18T03:00:00Z")
Hmmm, this is my first post here, but I had to play along 1st pet/1st Street: Max Diane Mascot/ Maiden name: Golden Eagle Nelson Middle name/Current street : Blaise Pueblo I think Blaise Pueblo is the only one that could possibly work. I don’t like it, though. My former street would’ve worked better - Blaise Sheridan. If only I’d known that I wouldn’t have moved 🙂 * * * “You’re going to listen to ME? To something I said? Haven’t I made it abundantly clear over the tenure of our friendship that I don’t know shit?” - Brodie, "Mal ---
**Author:** ![Holly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/48db29/32.png) [@Holly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Holly)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 1999, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-hooker-name/8025/118 "1999-08-18T12:00:00Z")
I took this game to work with me the other night and we came up with some good ones. The best was “Tomcat Bigwood”. I mentioned the Buster Cherry one, and a Syrian resident (doctor) didn’t get it. He smiled tolerantly while the rest of us howled with laughter. I tried to get the Syrian doctor to play along, but it was difficult. For one thing, he insisted he’d never, ever had a pet. Then he said, well, he’d had a cat once for a few days but he didn’t like it so he got rid of it, and he hadn’t bothered to name it. He didn’t go to a high school like we have here, and he didn’t know or care what his college mascot was. He was able to provide his mother’s maiden name, but he had to translate it from Arabic for us. ---
**Author:** ![StStella](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/67e7ee/32.png) [@StStella](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StStella)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 1999, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-hooker-name/8025/119 "1999-08-18T16:21:00Z")
Using first pet, first street: Ophelia Clark first pet/mother’s maiden: Ophelia LaFaro, that could work! Jedi name /planet Wrangler of Silica, or do vitamins not count?? * * * St. Stella ---
**Author:** ![Eris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@Eris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eris)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 1999, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-hooker-name/8025/120 "1999-08-19T20:54:00Z")
pet/street: Sandy Klondike (not bad, but a bit touristy) mascot/maiden name: Warriorette Oldham (um, no.) middle name/street: Ruth Niagara (well, at least Niagara rhymes with Viagra) My Jedi name (fudged a bit, because you can’t do much with LTD): Reliant of Chlor Tripolon or the hard way: Sarpu Olwhi, Hgucitation of Chlor Tripolon [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-hooker-name/8025.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-hooker-name/8025.md?page=7)