HussshSSSiissssSsHiSSHHHH(emphasis on the second and last syllables)
What kind of crazy dialect of Parseltongue is THAT?
Gaboon Viper.
It’s Low Parseltongue, spoken only in the rural areas of the magical world. It is considered by some to be uncouth. 
Parselforcetongue. To get the meaning, you have to queue for three hours at a collections office in Euston, and even then it probably won’t be there and you won’t get it unless you have the proper delivery receipt.
(Probably a Brit-only joke).
In American English (the only true English 
), it’d be Parselposttongue.
You take that back about my mother! She’s a very classy lady.
Well, yeah, but you don’t think that Grodnic the underpaid goblin clerk (or whoever handled the request) wouldn’t mind making himself a few (hundred) (thousand) Galleons for turning in Black? They might be neutral, but they also seem to be rather greedy and self-serving (see the one in book 7, whose name escapes me)
That neutrality is part of their stock in trade, though. I’m sure they hold some very nasty things for some very nasty people in that bank. Grodnic the underpaid goblin clerk would probably wake up to find himself locked in a one-way vault if he turned in a customer.
Yeah, you’ve got a point there, actually. Thanks. You’ve set one of my Harry Potter questions at ease, I think. 
Now if somebody could just explain why the teenage Snape wasn’t wearing pants, I’d be set.
If you mean “why wasn’t he wearing trousers?” I’m going to suspect that it’s because he didn’t feel any need to wear trousers under his robes. And that it wasn’t particularly common for men to do so, finding briefs or boxers to be quite sufficient to the task of keeping the dangly bits under control.
Remember Archie, from the campsite at the Quidditch World Cup? “I like a good healthy breeze around my privates, thank you very much!”
I thought they all wore robes instead of street clothes, not over them. That was my impression from the books, anyway–that they only wore them over jeans ‘n’ such in the movies.
Yes, but remember, during the memory in question, Levicorpus was a very popular spell, and you couldn’t walk 10 feet without being hoisted up by your ankle for awhile. If this was true, wouldn’t even wizard kids be smart enough to either (a) put on a pair of pants or at least shorts under their robes, or (b) use a spell to make sure that their underwear wasn’t “graying” (which I take to mean old and shoddy, not dirty, but still. I know Snape was poor, but he must have had a friend he could borrow a pair of gym shorts from or something.)
You haven’t actually met Snapes, have you? 
I reckon he was poor enough to not be able to afford to send off for trousers - although for all we know he might have done and they hadn’t arrived yet - and he didn’t have any male friends. But mainly it would just be that, to Wizards who don’t wear trousers, it would be really odd to wear them.
Are we sure he didn’t have any male friends? None of the Slytherins even liked him enough to lend him some pants?
Come to think of it, knowing Snape, he should have just invented a spell to keep his robes in place while he was upside down, just in case. He must have been smart enough to know that he would be a frequent target of Levicorpus.
Dude, the other professors don’t even really much like Snape, and that’s as an adult. You really think teenagers are going to be more forgiving?
Where do you think Sectumsempra came from?
I can’t remember whether it’s directly stated or not, but I’m certain he didn’t have any friends other than Lily till he got in with the future death eaters. Anyone who was friendly to him wouldn’t risk the wrath of the bullies by helping him out - and maybe very few others had trousers anyway.
One thing that bothers me about the last book is how Harry gets vital information because he is camping by a river and then justthe right people happen to come by and happen to have a conversation with just the information that is needed at just the right time.