# What's your most ingenious way to get rid of kittens? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 9, 2015, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-most-ingenious-way-to-get-rid-of-kittens/733993 "2015-10-09T02:49:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2015, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-most-ingenious-way-to-get-rid-of-kittens/733993/21 "2015-10-09T21:18:10Z")
Kitten pie. Seriously. [Yahoo Seriously](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvOTWb9fpN8&app=desktop). ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2015, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-most-ingenious-way-to-get-rid-of-kittens/733993/22 "2015-10-09T21:25:27Z")
About three years ago, Ivylad and I were coming home from the grocery store. As we do, we let the dogs out into the backyard so we could go in and out of the house with the groceries without having to worry about the pups making a break for it. I’m pulling milk out of the trunk when I notice the dogs going absolutely nuts by the gate. I follow their eyeline and lo and behold is this little tortoise shell kitten. Mrow. Now, the previous week Ivylad and Ivyboy had seen this same kitten. Ivylad is not a cat person, but he doesn’t like to see animals hungry, so he gave it some milk and tuna fish. He said now, a week later, it looked even scrawnier. Oh well, I said, pouring some more milk and dumping the tuna fish on a saucer. The kitten scarfed it down. Then I opened the door to the house from the garage and kitty saunters right in, like, “You’ve fed me twice, I guess I live here now.” The dogs were nervous around it, and Ivylad is insisting we take it to the no kill shelter on Monday. I posted some pictures on Facebook, seeing if anyone was interested in adopting it. Ivylad is still rolling his eyes at the thought of owning a cat. It’s like the cat knew he had to convince him, so in the evening, he jumped up on Ivylad’s lap, curled up, and purred for three hours straight. Sunday we’re at Target getting cat food and cat toys and kitty litter. He’s quite the character, but he’s Ivylad’s cat. The dogs got used to him and one of them would wrestle with him. The other pretty much ignores him. We named him Rary. It’s short for Temporary. 😃 And yes, he’s spayed. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2015, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-most-ingenious-way-to-get-rid-of-kittens/733993/23 "2015-10-09T22:14:13Z")
I call the lady who fosters all our kittens and wildlife. She in turn hands the kittens off to an animal shelter when they’re older where people who want pets will find them. I also agree with all the please spay and neuter before you have to worry about how to “get rid of” kittens and puppies. And really, bad jokes about animal cruelty? I expected as much from Spanish Catfish and Makerguy\*, but not the rest of you.:rolleyes: \*names have been changed to keep me out of trouble … maybe. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2015, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-most-ingenious-way-to-get-rid-of-kittens/733993/24 "2015-10-09T22:15:06Z")
A stray dropped a litter in our backyard. A healthy donation to the 13th Street cat shelter and some catching, and all now have good homes. ---
**Author:** ![MrQwertyasd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9d8465/32.png) [@MrQwertyasd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrQwertyasd)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2015, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-most-ingenious-way-to-get-rid-of-kittens/733993/25 "2015-10-11T03:03:29Z")
Tell a drugged out homeless guy they’re cat flavoured chocolate., and “here, help yourself, bud!” ---
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2015, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-most-ingenious-way-to-get-rid-of-kittens/733993/26 "2015-10-11T12:52:16Z")
> [@GrumpyBunny](#): > > My dad used to offer them to his students (college-level). There were always enough who were suckered by teh kittehs cuteness. > > These days, we spay/neuter the cats ASAP. > > True story; my vet wanted to wait to spay my two youngest cats. Upshot was, girl kitty went into heat in February. Boy kitty then decided to try to figure out how to have teh sex with girl kitty. I called the vet who said, she shouldn’t be in heat until spring! I reminded her that kittens can’t read the calendar, and let her listen to kitty yowling. > > Kitty was spayed the next day; boy cat was neutered the next day. I was always told they wouldn’t spay the females while they were in heat. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2015, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-most-ingenious-way-to-get-rid-of-kittens/733993/27 "2015-10-11T14:58:29Z")
> [@Wile\_E](#): > > And really, bad jokes about animal cruelty? I expected as much from Spanish Catfish and Makerguy\*, but not the rest of you.:rolleyes: What was the first thing you thought of when you read “What’s your most ingenious way to get rid of kittens?” ---
**Author:** ![TheChileanBlob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thechileanblob/32/435_2.png) [@TheChileanBlob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheChileanBlob)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2015, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-most-ingenious-way-to-get-rid-of-kittens/733993/28 "2015-10-11T18:18:23Z")
Our little neighbor girl brought us a kitten and said she had gotten it from some people in front of the Walmart, but her mom wouldn’t let her have it. I told her sorry, we already had 3 cats and my husband would kill me. Later, we heard kitties growling at something and discovered the kitten hiding under the counter. She later told my daughter that she had opened our back door and tossed the kitten in. It’s been 7 years, my husband got over it, and the boy kitties love their little sister. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2015, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-most-ingenious-way-to-get-rid-of-kittens/733993/29 "2015-10-11T18:50:07Z")
My wife, she-devil that she is, created a whole myth/legend surrounding some kittens we had, much like the infamous “Hemingway Cats” [http://www.hemingwayhome.com/cats/](http://www.hemingwayhome.com/cats/) and put an ad on Craigslist. Now, she did a pretty good job, making sure to assert no _factual_ claims, and it was pretty well written and enough “tongue-in-cheek” to maintain plausible deniability that anyone would take it too seriously. She actually got people to _ **pay for** _ worthless, free cats. And thus, the _Legend of the Comstock Brush Panther_ was born! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2015, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-most-ingenious-way-to-get-rid-of-kittens/733993/30 "2015-10-11T19:37:36Z")
> [@Wile\_E](#): > > I > > And really, bad jokes about animal cruelty? I expected as much from Spanish Catfish and Makerguy\*, but not the rest of you.:rolleyes: > > . Yep, to me those seem like being a jerk. Just report and move on. ---
**Author:** ![chacoguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/50afbb/32.png) [@chacoguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chacoguy)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2015, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-most-ingenious-way-to-get-rid-of-kittens/733993/31 "2015-10-11T20:03:08Z")
Any surplus cat we ever had just got taken down to the quarry… ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2015, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-most-ingenious-way-to-get-rid-of-kittens/733993/32 "2015-10-11T20:33:27Z")
You should hear my **coyote** stories, **Wile E.** 😉 > [@Wile\_E](#): > > I expected as much from Spanish Catfish… Should I be upset about the insinuation or just happy you mentioned me? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2015, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-most-ingenious-way-to-get-rid-of-kittens/733993/33 "2015-10-11T20:45:59Z")
> [@thelurkinghorror](#): > > Neuter/spay in the first place. Actually, nowadays in my experience you can’t even adopt a 2 month old kitten without them already being fixed. Back in the day they used to tell you to wait before fixing (6 months?) but now they don’t. > > I’ve never been in a situation where kittens spontaneously appear. Seriously, it’s like when I hear about people talking about leftover beer after a party. Who are you people and how long have you been observing the hyoo-mons? I had two kittens spontaneously appear. One just showed up out of nowhere at my doorstep mewling. We found her a new home via Craig’s List. Another was hiding under a parked car outside of my house one brutally cold Halloween night. A team of neighbors was needed to catch her, and she went home with one of them. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2015, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-most-ingenious-way-to-get-rid-of-kittens/733993/34 "2015-10-12T12:47:19Z")
Wait. This is like _Jeopardy!_, where a clue to the answer is hidden in the question, right? [“What is…”](http://bit.ly/1OwokDe) ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2015, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-most-ingenious-way-to-get-rid-of-kittens/733993/35 "2015-10-12T13:09:33Z")
My friend found a kitten and named her “ThelmaLou’s Cat,” _TC_ for short. Worked like a charm. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-most-ingenious-way-to-get-rid-of-kittens/733993.md?page=1)