# What's your "never going to win" argument with your SO? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 9, 2013, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-never-going-to-win-argument-with-your-so/670813 "2013-10-09T20:57:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-never-going-to-win-argument-with-your-so/670813/21 "2013-10-10T00:27:16Z")
> [@Ruken](#): > > Yeah I’m always surprised this is something people pay money for if they’re aren’t operating a business. Taxes are pretty darn easy for most of the population. Because it would take me long enough to make paying my guy $135 worth while. My time, the knowledge that he is doing it correctly and the lack of aggravation is well worth the money. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Parker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/35a633/32.png) [@Richard\_Parker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Parker)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-never-going-to-win-argument-with-your-so/670813/22 "2013-10-10T00:39:30Z")
That we might someday need that box full of papers from college. That it’s OK to run the dishwasher without it being full. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-never-going-to-win-argument-with-your-so/670813/23 "2013-10-10T00:39:39Z")
> [@NVME702-redux](#): > > He was decent and open minded with just about everything else in our marriage (which is what lead to our divorce :eek:) Did I miss something . . . or could you explain this sentence? > [@SylverOne](#): > > He made spaghetti one night and after I finished the rest of the dishes, I left the pot with the dried tomato sauce on the stove for two weeks to see if he would get a clue and wash the pan. Nope. Have you seen the “Baggage” episode of _Everybody Loves Raymond_ ? You’ll definitely relate to it. [Here’s a clip.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oyKzTMv1BI) ---
**Author:** ![campp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@campp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/campp)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-never-going-to-win-argument-with-your-so/670813/24 "2013-10-10T00:45:05Z")
She: Turn on the ceiling fan to get this room cooled off. He (Me): Turn off that ceiling fan if no one is in the damned room! It just burns power! sigh ---
**Author:** ![Sudden\_Kestrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@Sudden\_Kestrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sudden_Kestrel)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-never-going-to-win-argument-with-your-so/670813/25 "2013-10-10T01:36:06Z")
That he doesn’t need to spend all of his time off working on something. This guy never takes a vacation, never lies around in a hammock with a beer, never goes on a trip unless we go together. If he gets time off work, he spends it doing work-type things at home, like building sheds or fixing the lawnmower or rearranging his gigantic collection of tools into a new but equally meticulous configuration. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-never-going-to-win-argument-with-your-so/670813/26 "2013-10-10T02:18:31Z")
> [@Sudden\_Kestrel](#): > > That he doesn’t need to spend all of his time off working on something. This guy never takes a vacation, never lies around in a hammock with a beer, never goes on a trip unless we go together. If he gets time off work, he spends it doing work-type things at home, like building sheds or fixing the lawnmower or rearranging his gigantic collection of tools into a new but equally meticulous configuration. My partner can be like that too, and it’s a type of OCD. Since he’s never going to change, I decided to be grateful he’s like that, as opposed to a guy who does nothing. ---
**Author:** ![SylverOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c0e974/32.png) [@SylverOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SylverOne)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-never-going-to-win-argument-with-your-so/670813/27 "2013-10-10T02:58:31Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Did Have you seen the “Baggage” episode of _Everybody Loves Raymond_ ? You’ll definitely relate to it. [Here’s a clip.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oyKzTMv1BI) Oh, that is so us! Thanks for the chuckle~ ---
**Author:** ![Sudden\_Kestrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@Sudden\_Kestrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sudden_Kestrel)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-never-going-to-win-argument-with-your-so/670813/28 "2013-10-10T04:20:33Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > My partner can be like that too, and it’s a type of OCD. Since he’s never going to change, I decided to be grateful he’s like that, as opposed to a guy who does nothing. Yeah, he could definitely have worse habits :D. It _is_ annoying when he expects me to join him in his many, many tasks, though. We’ve had that discussion many times. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-never-going-to-win-argument-with-your-so/670813/29 "2013-10-10T05:55:25Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > That I don’t need movies narrated for me. Yes, I know he fell in the water. I know the car just blew up. I KNOW that’s Sherlock Holmes! I’m watching the same damn film you are! Daddy? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-never-going-to-win-argument-with-your-so/670813/30 "2013-10-10T10:56:48Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > That I don’t need movies narrated for me. Yes, I know he fell in the water. I know the car just blew up. I KNOW that’s Sherlock Holmes! I’m watching the same damn film you are! Who are you, and what are you doing with my son-in-almost-law to consider him your S.O. ? That boy is only 13, you pervert ! [QUOTE=panache45] Did I miss something . . . or could you explain this sentence? [/QUOTE] I took it to mean her husband was open-minded about the binding nature of sexual exclusivity in marriage. You know, willing to explore alternative theories. Anyway, as for me : the correct pronounciation of the (French) word “tortionnaire”. We’re both French, so it’s not _quite_ as kooky as it might seem :D. But in any case, I might be a linguist and a professional translator ; I might have a dictionnary, an IPA rendition of the word and phonology textbooks on hand ; I might provide countless other French words demonstrating that the “-tio-” part is almost always pronounced “sio” rather than “tio”, as is the case with that fucking word too, but nope. Nothing doing. It’s tor-tee-oh-nayr or bust. I suspect she’s doing it out of humour and/or spite at this point ;). ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-never-going-to-win-argument-with-your-so/670813/31 "2013-10-10T13:23:50Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > My partner can be like that too, and it’s a type of OCD. Since he’s never going to change, I decided to be grateful he’s like that, as opposed to a guy who does nothing. My partner doesn’t do this, but vacation isn’t vacation unless we’re exhausted at the end of it. I’ve started asking for concessions lately…I really don’t care about walking up and down every single street in a new town. I don’t need to know the whole town. So we see the sights, and then I relax by/in the pool\* or whatever while he wanders the streets for a while. The real argument I am NEVER going to win is similar to **Mangeout’s** only I would argue mine is worse. He doesn’t narrate every movie to me - he expects me to do it. What I mean is, if I’m watching a show or a movie he doesn’t like, he’ll wander through every now and then. “Who’s that?” “Why is she mad?” “Is that her son?” “Are they sleeping together?” I’ve snapped at him so many times. I’ve tried everything. I try to pre-empt all of his questions when he comes out. “That’s Daniel Grayson, the son of the Graysons. He’s the one Emily’s sleeping with.” And two seconds later, “Who’s that?” :smack: I’ve tried pausing the movie. But if I get too irritated he gets mad. I understand he doesn’t really care about the shows, but then why harass me with questions? I want him to watch my shows, he’s always welcome, BUT HE TALKS OVER THE DIALOGUE. I swear one of these days it will be Justifiable Homicide and I will get to watch my movies in peace and quiet. \*What is up with that? People go to the pool…but they don’t get in? They just relax by it, soaking up sun rays and burning their skin! Last time I was at the pool for two hours, swimming lazily back and forth, and these young ladies never even got it. I don’t understand the “fun” of burning yourself to a crisp. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-never-going-to-win-argument-with-your-so/670813/32 "2013-10-10T13:36:34Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > \*What is up with that? People go to the pool…but they don’t get in? They just relax by it, soaking up sun rays and burning their skin! Last time I was at the pool for two hours, swimming lazily back and forth, and these young ladies never even got it. I don’t understand the “fun” of burning yourself to a crisp. Hey, that’s me! I’ll go into the water for a minute or two now and again, but much prefer just lying in the sun like a lizard. It’s warm, peaceful, and relaxing. ---
**Author:** ![MostlyUseless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@MostlyUseless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MostlyUseless)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-never-going-to-win-argument-with-your-so/670813/33 "2013-10-10T13:39:06Z")
My SO (she) has her way of doing things. Over 25 years, she had found a way to not have to dismiss my way as inferior if the results are the same with ONE exception. Stamps must be placed correctly at the top right corner of an envelope; it may not be rotated, upside down or anything else. I thought she was kidding. No, this really, really, really infuriates her. Me…meh. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-never-going-to-win-argument-with-your-so/670813/34 "2013-10-10T13:43:40Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > Hey, that’s me! I’ll go into the water for a minute or two now and again, but much prefer just lying in the sun like a lizard. It’s warm, peaceful, and relaxing. I hope you don’t wear a tiny little bikini like these girls did. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-never-going-to-win-argument-with-your-so/670813/35 "2013-10-10T13:59:48Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > The real argument I am NEVER going to win is similar to **Mangeout’s** only I would argue mine is worse. He doesn’t narrate every movie to me - he expects me to do it. What I mean is, if I’m watching a show or a movie he doesn’t like, he’ll wander through every now and then. > > “Who’s that?” > “Why is she mad?” > “Is that her son?” > “Are they sleeping together?” > > I’ve snapped at him so many times. I’ve tried everything. I try to pre-empt all of his questions when he comes out. “That’s Daniel Grayson, the son of the Graysons. He’s the one Emily’s sleeping with.” And two seconds later, “Who’s that?” :smack: > I’ve tried pausing the movie. But if I get too irritated he gets mad. I understand he doesn’t really care about the shows, but then why harass me with questions? I want him to watch my shows, he’s always welcome, BUT HE TALKS OVER THE DIALOGUE. I swear one of these days it will be Justifiable Homicide and I will get to watch my movies in peace and quiet. Yeah, I get all of that too - plus “start the movie without me, I’ll be there in a second”, then a load of tutting and sighing and asking for explanations of what happened in the first five minutes. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-never-going-to-win-argument-with-your-so/670813/36 "2013-10-10T14:01:50Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > Yeah, I get all of that too - plus “start the movie without me, I’ll be there in a second”, then a load of tutting and sighing and asking for explanations of what happened in the first five minutes. We should put them together in another room. Then you and I can watch our show in peace and quiet. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-never-going-to-win-argument-with-your-so/670813/37 "2013-10-10T14:03:40Z")
That it’s not a good idea to run your gas tank nearly dry. Especially when you live 20 minutes from the nearest gas station. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-never-going-to-win-argument-with-your-so/670813/38 "2013-10-10T14:25:37Z")
I have many of these. One very minor one that drives me crazy is that she will never fill up the gas tank, or allow me to fill it up, without an argument - because there is always the possibility of finding gas a couple of cents cheaper elsewhere. "Just put $10 in for now … ". This means we are always wasting time stopping for gas, which I hate doing. She will never allow me to hire professionals to do any financial things, like taxes or investments, because she has a financial background and figures she can do it herself (which she can) … and then, she never gets around to doing it in a timely manner, because she is too busy. My offers that it is easier to just pay someone to do it go unregarded. The worst is that she has no real understanding that my idea of relaxation is to do nothing but read books from time to time. Rather, she knows this, but thinks that making me do stuff on my off-time is good for me … every vacation, I come back to work needing a vacation from the vacation. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-never-going-to-win-argument-with-your-so/670813/39 "2013-10-10T14:36:50Z")
> [@teela\_brown](#): > > That it doesn’t matter that the dishwasher door is ever so slightly ajar. It doesn’t stick out at all so you can’t walk into it. Also, it’s a Bosch, which doesn’t dry the dishes with a heating element, and it’s always slightly damp inside after a cycle is finished. Leaving the door ajar lets the dishes dry better overnight. > > But my argument goes unheard, and he angrily slams it shut every morning. My post, down to the brand, except that it’s “she” and it’s a milder debate. I open the door and pull out the top rack while everything is still hot, so it dries quickly (and cools off so you can touch the ceramic and glass); two minutes later the DW is closed up again, for no good reason. We’ve mostly come into the early 20th century about loading the dishwasher, at least; I opened them to find a half-load spread out over the racks for years. Other peeves: You really can wash dishes in less than scalding water. There is no need to run the tap for five minutes to get this theoretically maximum heat, let the tap run continuously during washing “so it doesn’t cool off” or stop washing dishes because someone is taking a shower and thus slightly lowering the tap temperature. Comet should not be used to vigorously scrub every surface in a bathroom, including the chrome, which is no longer all chromed as a result, and other non-porcelain surfaces, which just get harder and harder to keep clean as you grind away the surface layer. Taking ten minutes to gather and sort ALL the house laundry cuts the job in half, rather than running one gathered load after another all weekend. (No longer have to fight the “fill the washer first, then try to shove a full load dry clothes into the tub” arg since we went to a front-loader… but one small load after another all weekend drives me bananas.) Really, all of this comes down to a spouse who learned all of her house cleaning 40 years ago with crappy old appliances, and absolutely will not take 10 minutes to read a manual or listen to someone who has about how to to things here in 2013. But I’ve given up on most of the args and just work around the issues most of the time. Unless I dare to roll my eyes when “cleaning up after dinner” starts with flipping the tap on and then starting to clear the table, etc. (My BIL was here one time and offered to help… and he started in exactly the same way. I suspect MIL training at work.) ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2013, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-never-going-to-win-argument-with-your-so/670813/40 "2013-10-10T14:49:04Z")
> [@Sudden\_Kestrel](#): > > That he doesn’t need to spend all of his time off working on something. This guy never takes a vacation, never lies around in a hammock with a beer, never goes on a trip unless we go together. If he gets time off work, he spends it doing work-type things at home, like building sheds or fixing the lawnmower or rearranging his gigantic collection of tools into a new but equally meticulous configuration. I’ve got one of the same kind! It wears me out just watching him. I try to remember that I used to be married to the other kind, and it sucked a whole lot more. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-never-going-to-win-argument-with-your-so/670813.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-never-going-to-win-argument-with-your-so/670813.md?page=3)