# What's your "never going to win" argument with your SO?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-never-going-to-win-argument-with-your-so/670813>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [October 9, 2013, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-never-going-to-win-argument-with-your-so/670813 "2013-10-09T20:57:01Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 4

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**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\
**Post date:** [October 11, 2013, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-never-going-to-win-argument-with-your-so/670813/61 "2013-10-11T20:23:28Z")

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> [@Euphonious\_Polemic](#):
>
> ETA: We are currently storing boxes of credit card sales pitches in our garage, while the car sits in the driveway in the rain. And after years and years, I know there is NOTHING I can do about this.

Wow, I think you are married to my ex-roommate. These days, I keep a recycle bin right next to the mail slot. Practically everything that drops through the slot goes directly into the bin.

My husband is nearly perfect, but the argument he never wins is “the kitchen counters do _not need_ to wiped down every day”. They do. The one I’m never going to win is “shoes do \*not need \*to be in the closet, they are happier roaming free”.

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**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\
**Post date:** [October 11, 2013, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-never-going-to-win-argument-with-your-so/670813/62 "2013-10-11T20:33:23Z")

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Oh, there are lots of things that we will never agree on. Some of the ones that affect our day-to-day living are housekeeping issues. For instance, it’s obvious that if water can’t reach dishes in a dishwasher, that those dishes won’t get clean. Bill crams the dishwasher full anyway. Same with the clothes washer, if you cram it full and then set the water level to low, then the clothes aren’t going to get clean. I don’t know if this is all part of his Clever Plan to get me to do all the dishwashing and clothes washing done, but I do, in fact, do most of these chores.

I’m slowly bringing him around to the notion that if he’s going to go pack the wheel bearings (did I phrase that right?), or change the oil, or do something else that is going to get his clothes really greasy and possibly torn up, that he should change into his old, stained, ripped up clothes, and not wear his good clothes which are practically new. When I was a kid, I was made to change from school clothes into play clothes as soon as I got home from school, even if I didn’t plan to do anything particularly dirty. My husband didn’t HAVE separate school and play clothes, and went to school in clothes that looked like they’d been worn by several children for several years, after the first month or so.

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**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\
**Post date:** [October 11, 2013, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-never-going-to-win-argument-with-your-so/670813/63 "2013-10-11T21:42:41Z")

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> [@Euphonious\_Polemic](#):
>
> …  
> ETA: We are currently storing boxes of credit card sales pitches in our garage, while the car sits in the driveway in the rain. And after years and years, I know there is NOTHING I can do about this.

Yes, this 🙂 I at least have it down to a stack system where Mrs G has a threshold of old mail that is enough to make her feel comfortably archived (where was that Air Miles account offer we got in the mail 4 years ago? Is it still good? Can you go find it?) yet not fly into a panic that the “water auditors” will demand to see our July 2003 water meter readings. The answer is 6 file boxes, too much to sift through in a couple hours, but enough peace of mind to know that, if life depended on it, you could sift through it. New box goes on top, old box goes in the dumpster.

Mine are the clothes washing machine settings, I will never win. I sharpied little marks on the dials for my own benefit if fear of Mrs G’s “do not deviate from under death penalty” after independently using different load sizes or water temps mistakenly. I learned from her that, apparantly, manufacturer labels are a conspiracy between detergent, textile, and washer companies to maximize rates of failure of machines, clothing, and soap usage.

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**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\
**Post date:** [October 11, 2013, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-never-going-to-win-argument-with-your-so/670813/64 "2013-10-11T23:25:04Z")

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One I couldn’t win with my Ex: Putting the new bag into the trash can is part of taking out the trash. If you haven’t done that you haven’t finished the job. Corollary: The person who failed to replace the bag is responsible for cleaning the mess that results when new garbage goes through the flippy lid and splats all over the place. (If it had been an open top configuration, this mights be arguable, but it wasn’t.)  
The one he could never win with me: Sheets, towels and napkins do not need to be bleached within an inch of their lives in the hottest water available every single time you wash them.

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**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\
**Post date:** [October 12, 2013, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-never-going-to-win-argument-with-your-so/670813/65 "2013-10-12T00:05:43Z")

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You can “win” an argument with your spouse? 😕

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**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\
**Post date:** [October 12, 2013, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-never-going-to-win-argument-with-your-so/670813/66 "2013-10-12T00:51:26Z")

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When my wife was little, her beloved dog couldn’t be with them any more, so he went upstate to live on a farm where he could romp in the field all day.

It’s not a great idea to doubt her on this.

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**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\
**Post date:** [October 12, 2013, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-never-going-to-win-argument-with-your-so/670813/67 "2013-10-12T02:51:44Z")

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> [@NVME702-redux](#):
>
> …  
> So do tell, what’s one argument you’re never going to win with your SO?

What’s not?

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**Author:** ![Audrey\_Levins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Audrey\_Levins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Audrey_Levins)\
**Post date:** [October 12, 2013, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-never-going-to-win-argument-with-your-so/670813/68 "2013-10-12T03:52:18Z")

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That we don’t live in a ghetto area just because a couple of homeless guys like to drink under the tree by the convenience store up the street.

We live in a very nice apartment complex surrounded by very nice houses, some of which go for a quarter of a mil… (this is South Texas, where you can get a very nice starter home for under a hundred thousand, and a quarter mil can get you a gorgeous house in a gated golf course community) and Mr. Levins insists that because of those homeless guys behind the convenience store, we live in a “shady area.”

Mr. Levins is from Connecticut, where he says that “nice neighborhoods don’t have homeless people.” I’m sorry, but the climate down here is a lot more friendly towards the homeless; Texas is much, much bigger too. This is NOT the ghetto, in spite of the homeless guys under that tree up the street behind the damn convenience store.

_sigh_

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**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\
**Post date:** [October 12, 2013, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-never-going-to-win-argument-with-your-so/670813/69 "2013-10-12T04:59:59Z")

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That icemakers don’t cause “illness”. That kitchen. Dishwashers actually do exist w/o thumbs and drying racks. That it is possible to earn a living by writing. That seafood isnt poison, but that food phobias can be passed on to your kids.  
That if you want to know whats happening in the movie next, then maybe you should pay attention.

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**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\
**Post date:** [October 12, 2013, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-never-going-to-win-argument-with-your-so/670813/70 "2013-10-12T07:09:54Z")

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> [@Anaamika](#):
>
> I hope you don’t wear a tiny little bikini like these girls did. 🙂

Maybe in his case it should be a leaf and a bit of string 🙂

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**Author:** ![scareyfaerie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scareyfaerie/32/3135_2.png) [@scareyfaerie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scareyfaerie)\
**Post date:** [October 12, 2013, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-never-going-to-win-argument-with-your-so/670813/71 "2013-10-12T11:42:34Z")

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> [@Anaamika](#):
>
> We should put them together in another room. Then you and I can watch our show in peace and quiet.

I have another one who’d feel at home at that party. He also likes to talk over the news when I’m watching it, except what I get is his opinion on the news and how the reporters are getting it all wrong, and it was probably all Mrs Thatcher’s fault…

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**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\
**Post date:** [October 12, 2013, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-never-going-to-win-argument-with-your-so/670813/72 "2013-10-12T12:18:26Z")

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> [@Count\_Blucher](#):
>
> Dishwashers actually do exist w/o thumbs and drying racks.

Can you explain this one? Truly curious!

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**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\
**Post date:** [October 12, 2013, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-never-going-to-win-argument-with-your-so/670813/73 "2013-10-12T13:49:37Z")

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> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#):
>
> Can you explain this one? Truly curious!

Well evidently [this](https://www.google.com/#q=dishwasher&tbm=shop&tbs=cat:680,pdtr0:706084%7C706091) is a figment of my imagination. This is a [dishwasher](http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Lq0tEHT5Hvw/TyY7IWo0EWI/AAAAAAAAABY/VlJX5NwVfGo/s1600/scotchbrite1.jpg).

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**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\
**Post date:** [October 12, 2013, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-never-going-to-win-argument-with-your-so/670813/74 "2013-10-12T13:57:12Z")

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> [@Count\_Blucher](#):
>
> Well evidently [this](https://www.google.com/#q=dishwasher&tbm=shop&tbs=cat:680,pdtr0:706084%7C706091) is a figment of my imagination. This is a [dishwasher](http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Lq0tEHT5Hvw/TyY7IWo0EWI/AAAAAAAAABY/VlJX5NwVfGo/s1600/scotchbrite1.jpg).

But what does that have to do with thumbs?

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**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\
**Post date:** [October 12, 2013, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-never-going-to-win-argument-with-your-so/670813/75 "2013-10-12T13:58:26Z")

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When she announces to our two young children (3 and 5) that it’s time to do something _right now_ and they start to respond, that it’s a really good idea to follow through, because if you then wander off and do something else, the kids will go back to playing.

Then when you come back in a panic, announce to them that it’s really time to do something _right now_ and they start to respond, that it really is a good idea to follow through, because if you then wander off again and do something else, the kids will go back to playing.

Then when you come back in a panic, and get angry that they aren’t going what you asked, it’s because they’re confused if you really mean that they need to do it or not.

We’ve been through this a number of times and she says she understands, but the next bedtime we’re back to the same thing.

I’ve found that it just works better for me to be the one to manage the cat herding.

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**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\
**Post date:** [October 13, 2013, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-never-going-to-win-argument-with-your-so/670813/76 "2013-10-13T11:14:10Z")

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> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#):
>
> But what does that have to do with thumbs?

The thumbs of the person washing the dishes grip the sponge…

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**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\
**Post date:** [October 13, 2013, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-never-going-to-win-argument-with-your-so/670813/77 "2013-10-13T11:46:03Z")

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> [@Aspidistra](#):
>
> The thumbs of the person washing the dishes grip the sponge…

Ohhhh! The human dishwasher has thumbs and no drying racks :smack:

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**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\
**Post date:** [October 13, 2013, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-never-going-to-win-argument-with-your-so/670813/78 "2013-10-13T11:56:18Z")

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The correct pronunciation of “almond”. Pronounce the “l” or not?

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**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\
**Post date:** [October 13, 2013, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-never-going-to-win-argument-with-your-so/670813/79 "2013-10-13T11:58:08Z")

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> [@ScareyFaerie](#):
>
> I have another one who’d feel at home at that party. He also likes to talk over the news when I’m watching it, except what I get is his opinion on the news and how the reporters are getting it all wrong, and it was probably all Mrs Thatcher’s fault…

We should get that one with the person who was recently blaming bad roads in Mexico on the Aztecs.

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**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\
**Post date:** [October 13, 2013, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-never-going-to-win-argument-with-your-so/670813/80 "2013-10-13T12:31:50Z")

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> [@TokyoBayer](#):
>
> When she announces to our two young children (3 and 5) that it’s time to do something _right now_ and they start to respond, that it’s a really good idea to follow through, because if you then wander off and do something else, the kids will go back to playing.

Grrrrr.

This happened again. Tonight. Bath time at 7:30. “Kids, go upstairs! Time for a bath” It was easily 30 minutes before she was personally ready.

If I say anything, then she’ll agree and we’ll go through the exact thing again tomorrow.

Oh well. I have more than my share of bad habits.

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