# What's your porno name? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 23, 2001, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-porno-name/73488 "2001-07-23T00:35:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Hugh\_Jass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4da419/32.png) [@Hugh\_Jass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hugh_Jass)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2001, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-porno-name/73488/1 "2001-07-23T00:35:16Z")
A thread on “pornolizing” text reminded me of an email joke sent to me a few months ago. It was a guide to figuring out what your name would be if you ever make porno movies. For your first name, use the name of your first pet. For your last name, use your mother’s maiden name. That means I would be Stretch Widmayer. A buddy of mine would be Peanuts Swineford. What would your name be? ---
**Author:** ![Lady\_Juliet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cc9497/32.png) [@Lady\_Juliet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lady_Juliet)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2001, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-porno-name/73488/2 "2001-07-23T01:27:27Z")
Kittie Davis… [sub]Sounds so devious, so…slutty[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![flickerwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/13edae/32.png) [@flickerwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flickerwolf)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2001, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-porno-name/73488/3 "2001-07-23T01:30:51Z")
Wow. Its…Hershey Smith. That is so wierd… :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Sylkyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/da6949/32.png) [@Sylkyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylkyn)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2001, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-porno-name/73488/4 "2001-07-23T01:35:15Z")
This is just too funny. Mine would be Peachie Foster! Peachie? Maybe I’d have sounded a bit pornier if my mother’s last name were Keene, or something. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2001, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-porno-name/73488/5 "2001-07-23T01:37:04Z")
Figaro Steiner. The variation I’m more familiar with is your middle name followed by the name of the street you live on. That would make me…Kyle Parapet. That sounds vaguely pornstar-ish, doesn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2001, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-porno-name/73488/6 "2001-07-23T01:40:56Z")
By the first formula…Noni Wolfe. Porno Private Eye 🙂 By the second… Renee Miller ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2001, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-porno-name/73488/7 "2001-07-23T01:45:43Z")
See, the one **I** heard was, the name of the first pet you ever had, and the name of the first street you remember living on. (Yes, my friends tend to be rather obscure.) Mine (by that token) would be “Sweetie Egleston.” By **Hugh’s** , “Sweetie Burlock.” By **Ultrafilter’s** , “Collette Stoneridge.” I dunno, that sounds more like a _ **gack** _ soap opera name to me. Heh…if I lived 10 miles from here, my name could conceivably be “Collette Lickinghole.” Man, do I love Virginians. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![NutWrench](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nutwrench/32/20193_2.png) [@NutWrench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NutWrench)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2001, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-porno-name/73488/8 "2001-07-23T01:51:09Z")
“Gizmo Jones” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Turbo\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce73a5/32.png) [@Turbo\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turbo_Dog)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2001, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-porno-name/73488/9 "2001-07-23T02:06:11Z")
In order of the versions, I would be: Tommy-smoother than stout-Porter… (stepmother name) Arthur-sweet and sticky-Carmel Tommy-little sprout-Brussels. With the second or third pet I would have at least been a Nero or a Jocko. But it’s still better than Circe Rural Route 1. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2001, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-porno-name/73488/10 "2001-07-23T02:46:41Z")
How I wish my mother had known of this game when she named my first pet on my behalf… ::sigh:: First pet, Mother’s Maiden Name: **Scabby Wilton** Middle Name, Street: **Leanne Kay** First Pet, First Street: **Scabby Grubb** See, I was introduced to this game by the third version, and we all tried to work out exactly what kind of pornstar would use the name Scabby Grubb. A really demoralized one, I guess. Darn you, Scabby the Cat, and darn the man who decided to name our street after Mr Grubb!! ---
**Author:** ![Kelvin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Kelvin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kelvin)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2001, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-porno-name/73488/11 "2001-07-23T03:28:15Z")
**First Pet - Maiden Name** Goldy Tessier (sounds like a female name!) **First Pet - Street Name** Goldy Spring **Middle Name - Street Name** Grant Spring ---
**Author:** ![AwSnappity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a3d4f5/32.png) [@AwSnappity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AwSnappity)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2001, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-porno-name/73488/12 "2001-07-23T03:52:46Z")
**First Pet/Mother’s Maiden Name** Kelsey See (how stupid does that sound?) **First Pet/Street Name** Kelsey Faulkner **Middle Name/Street Name** Ann Faulkner The second two sound too fuddy-duddy to be pornstar names. I’m officially changing mine to Tiffany Sugar. ---
**Author:** ![Broken\_Doll](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bbce88/32.png) [@Broken\_Doll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broken_Doll)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2001, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-porno-name/73488/13 "2001-07-23T04:04:57Z")
Bubbles McDonald Oooh, I likey! ---
**Author:** ![eirroc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f1d935/32.png) [@eirroc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eirroc)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2001, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-porno-name/73488/14 "2001-07-23T04:27:32Z")
Tammy McCabe 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kaitlyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/73ab20/32.png) [@Kaitlyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaitlyn)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2001, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-porno-name/73488/15 "2001-07-23T04:27:50Z")
**First pet / Mother’s Maiden Name** White Stuff Hopkins **First pet / Street Name** White Stuff Melody **Middle Name / Street Name** No Name Melody ---
**Author:** ![eirroc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f1d935/32.png) [@eirroc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eirroc)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2001, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-porno-name/73488/16 "2001-07-23T04:30:29Z")
Just read that again and it sounds more like a country and western singer hee hee. ---
**Author:** ![teppei](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/58956e/32.png) [@teppei](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teppei)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2001, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-porno-name/73488/17 "2001-07-23T04:49:05Z")
Bobby Blanchart Samuel Shiloh Bobby Crystal nope, sounds like celebrities, not pornstars. _sighs_ well, I always thought Kushy Bimbolino would be a good one (ref: Outland by Berkly Breathed). ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2001, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-porno-name/73488/18 "2001-07-23T05:37:31Z")
Whisky Bostock Whisky Bay John Bay ---
**Author:** ![Bambi\_Hassenpfeffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Bambi\_Hassenpfeffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bambi_Hassenpfeffer)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2001, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-porno-name/73488/19 "2001-07-23T05:48:37Z")
That would be CoCo Brown interesting name for a white boy, eh? And I always heard the second formula (middle name / street name) was for your soap opera name. That’d make me Michael Cedarbrook. I like the ring of that… Dr. Michael Cedarbrook. (oh, and hi by the way… I’m new.) ---
**Author:** ![chique](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@chique](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chique)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2001, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-porno-name/73488/20 "2001-07-23T06:21:12Z")
The first pet whose name I remember was Rex, which doesn’t lend itself well to a porno name for _me_. And the street I live on is either County Road 3 or Route 2 or Golden Spike Road, sooooo… please pardon me while I pass on this little exercise 😛 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-porno-name/73488.md?page=2)