# What's Your Safe Word? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 18, 2005, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-safe-word/295224 "2005-03-18T22:40:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Darkhold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@Darkhold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darkhold)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2005, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-safe-word/295224/21 "2005-03-19T17:48:59Z")
> [@Ukulele Ike](#): > > Hand signals. Using the middle finger perhaps? RedLight is what I’ve have my partners use but simply breaking character usually works just as well. ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2005, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-safe-word/295224/22 "2005-03-19T18:03:36Z")
Chicken. ---
**Author:** ![UnwrittenNocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/6de8d8/32.png) [@UnwrittenNocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UnwrittenNocturne)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2005, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-safe-word/295224/23 "2005-03-19T18:08:58Z")
> [@Ukulele Ike](#): > > Hand signals. Doesn’t work in full bondage though. ---
**Author:** ![Indyellen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/indyellen/32/4176_2.png) [@Indyellen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indyellen)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2005, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-safe-word/295224/24 "2005-03-19T18:17:49Z")
Well, when I was not owned, and playing in public, I tended to go with the general stoplight series: Red=Stop immediately Yellow=getting a little much/need physical adjustment (ropes too tight, knees giving out, etc.) Green=all good When I played privately, I tended to do what **matt\_mcl** does and address the dom by name instead of “sir” (or their chosen, you get the idea.) I also generally let any partner I was playing with know that if I said “ow” or “ouch” or “stop” that I MEANT it - those are not words/noises I make regularly in any scene. Himself & I don’t need safewords as much, usually, mostly because we know each other so well, but he’ll respond to any of the above as a sign that something isn’t right. And he has permission to ignore a yellow after questioning me (if it’s “that toy is getting too intense,” he might continue after finding out what the problem is.) ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2005, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-safe-word/295224/25 "2005-03-19T20:11:50Z")
The only time this was a concern, there was no safeword agreed upon ahead of time, so I just had to break character. Yes, it did ruin the scene, but that’s what happens sometimes. Perhaps I should think of a safeword just in case. A friend of mine and her SO use “coffee,” which I only found out because of a fit of giggles on her part. ---
**Author:** ![TV\_time](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f17d59/32.png) [@TV\_time](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TV_time)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2005, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-safe-word/295224/26 "2005-03-20T00:02:26Z")
**Monarch Butterfly** It was just “butterfly” until we found there was both a clamp and a vibrator called that. ---
**Author:** ![gravitycrash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@gravitycrash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gravitycrash)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2005, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-safe-word/295224/27 "2005-03-20T00:45:26Z")
coconuts. why you ask? my girlfriend claimed if she said that word it would prevent her from sneezing. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![FaerieBeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e95f7d/32.png) [@FaerieBeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FaerieBeth)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2005, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-safe-word/295224/28 "2005-03-20T00:46:39Z")
**"Rats"** The reason we chose that particular word is lost in the mists of time, but it probably had something to do with the fact that I hate rodents. Ball gags aren’t a problem, as we don’t use them. If I’m going to be gagged, we usually go for the scarf, but we rarely use a gag. He likes to hear me, and I prefer blindfolds to gags. I don’t think I’ve actually used the safe word in ages. After 7 years of this, my husband can usually tell by my tone and how I hold my body if there’s a problem, so there’s no need to stop him. ---
**Author:** ![moi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@moi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moi)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2005, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-safe-word/295224/29 "2005-03-20T05:02:19Z")
We don’t have an agreed upon safeword, but, then again, we’ve never needed one. Really, I think if we talked it out, it would just be an incentive (ie, can he bring me to the point where I have to say it?). In a pinch, I would say his name a few times or, if that failed, “Poodle.” (Anyone out there get the reference? :)) ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2005, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-safe-word/295224/30 "2005-03-21T16:45:46Z")
The sub’s first name, plus ‘safeword’ works well as you just don’t forget your first name, and sub’s don’t need real names 😉 ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2005, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-safe-word/295224/31 "2005-03-21T17:37:35Z")
In years past, we used “Jingle Bells” - useful as I can’t really think of any scene where you’d intentionally say that, and if gagged, you can still moan/hum/whatever the tune. Somehow, by extension, “Dashing through the snow” turned up once as a “yellow” ---
**Author:** ![StarsApart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecc23a/32.png) [@StarsApart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarsApart)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-safe-word/295224/32 "2005-03-22T04:14:55Z")
Ralik. It means… uh… it means… well, I can’t remember now. My fiance knows what it means. I just know it sticks in my head for some reason. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![laurelann](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/5daacb/32.png) [@laurelann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/laurelann)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-safe-word/295224/33 "2005-03-22T04:21:54Z")
“stop! no, really!! i mean it this time!!! RUSSELL!!!” just like **case sensitive** , i think we need to work on ours, too. ---
**Author:** ![shijinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@shijinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shijinn)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-safe-word/295224/34 "2005-03-22T05:39:49Z")
my life may be crashing down on me, but i can’t help but giggle at the picture of **gotpasswords** all stuffed up and frantically humming “Jingle Bells” when his SO does somethings really objectionable… thanks. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mycroft\_Holmes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a5b964/32.png) [@Mycroft\_Holmes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mycroft_Holmes)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 9:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-safe-word/295224/35 "2005-03-22T09:53:43Z")
ours is: FLÜGGÅɘNK∂€ČHIŒß∅L∫ÊN Bonus points for anyone who can figure out the reference 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 10:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-safe-word/295224/36 "2005-03-22T10:13:08Z")
I’m with **Seven** , “safeword” seems to be the most unambiguous safeword of all. ---
**Author:** ![monica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@monica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monica)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-safe-word/295224/37 "2005-03-22T21:11:51Z")
> [@Mycroft Holmes](#): > > ours is: FLÜGGÅɘNK∂€ČHIŒß∅L∫ÊN > > Bonus points for anyone who can figure out the reference 😃 That kind of reminds me of that one in EuroTrip (a movie which really sucked, by the way). ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-safe-word/295224/38 "2005-03-22T21:25:37Z")
Yeah, thats the reference. And the movie did not suck. Greatest Cameo ever! ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-safe-word/295224/39 "2005-03-22T21:49:02Z")
> [@monica](#): > > That kind of reminds me of that one in EuroTrip (a movie which really sucked, by the way). Yeah, but that particular scene was set in the Netherlands so you have to give him credit for being a homer. Besides, the girl was kind of cute. It was a dumb flick, though. ---
**Author:** ![badmana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@badmana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badmana)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-safe-word/295224/40 "2005-03-22T22:14:53Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#): > > Yeah, but that particular scene was set in the Netherlands so you have to give him credit for being a homer. Besides, the girl was kind of cute. It was a dumb flick, though. Kinda cute? It’s XENA! OK, she’s not that hot but I still got a kick seeing her “administer the Testicle clamps!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-safe-word/295224.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-safe-word/295224.md?page=3)