# What's your silly food fantasy? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 22, 2016, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-silly-food-fantasy/758044 "2016-06-22T13:43:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-silly-food-fantasy/758044/21 "2016-06-23T02:04:10Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > Tucking in to a lavish feast at the court of Henry VIII. Game pies; aged cheeses; roast beef, pork, and venison; a wide variety of poultry and wild fowl; potage; raw oysters; deviled eggs; jugged hare; shortbread, compote, and lots of marzipan cakes for dessert … mmmmmmmmmmm! Plus buckets of ale, wine, and mead, of course! > > Urp! 'Scuze me … _Blrrrrrrruz!_ Ah, that’s better! :o I would never have thought of this one, but you know, I think I’d _ **LOVE IT** _!!! As an alternative I’d like to have enough money to have a catered party, with mostly hors d’oeuvres(sp?) My boss is a good caterer, has done some fancy affairs, including catering to the First Lady’s reception when she visited Topeka in 2002. I’ve helped him with some of those affairs. I’d say “Money is no object. Hire whatever help you need, whatever equipment you don’t already have, and I’ll pay for it.” I’d want shrimp, caviar, champagne, smoked salmon, all sorts of goodies for around fifty people I’d tell him. Don’t look at the prices, buy the best, oh, don’t forget good chocolates. I’ll guarantee a large tip for all the staff. That’s my food fantasy. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-silly-food-fantasy/758044/22 "2016-06-23T04:10:14Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > Recreate the meal served in the Big Night. Now that would be a party. > [@Sattua](#): > > Recreate the meal served in _The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover_. It ain’t a party without a body count. Don’t forget the vast gourmet French meal in _Babette’s Feast_! ---
**Author:** ![quiltguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e47774/32.png) [@quiltguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quiltguy)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-silly-food-fantasy/758044/23 "2016-06-23T14:48:31Z")
I wanna’ have a little cottage in a forest that’s made out of gingerbread and has all kinds of goodies inside and outside as well. What? Already been done? And it was a disaster? Well then, that food maker thingy from Star Trek: The Next Generation. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-silly-food-fantasy/758044/24 "2016-06-23T14:57:19Z")
> [@quiltguy](#): > > I wanna’ have a little cottage in a forest that’s made out of gingerbread and has all kinds of goodies inside and outside as well. What? Already been done? And it was a disaster? Well then, that food maker thingy from Star Trek: The Next Generation. Yeah, I need that. I am not fond of cooking and anyway it could make a nutritionally balanced healthy meal out of protein packs or whatever. ---
**Author:** ![DrCube](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a3d4f5/32.png) [@DrCube](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrCube)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-silly-food-fantasy/758044/25 "2016-06-23T15:19:37Z")
I also would like the Back to the Future 5-second dehydrated pizza zapper, too. It looked like a futuristic version of Papa Murphy’s, even though it was supposed to be here last year! ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-silly-food-fantasy/758044/26 "2016-06-23T15:21:53Z")
**The Banana Fantasy** : The problem with this is that the needle holes turn brown pretty quickly, giving away the prank. You need to get the patsy to peel the banana within a few minutes of the thread-slicing. Putting it in a lunchbox wouldn’t work. **The Dogshit Fantasy** : This one is surefire! You give your index finger a fast dip in the disgusting substance, quickly bring your hand up to your face DROPPING THE INDEX FINGER BACK AND EXTENDING THE MIDDLE FINGER, and stick the middle finger in your mouth. No one ever notices the substitution, because shock and horror is already setting in. Now go wash your hands. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Angel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d26b3c/32.png) [@Johnny\_Angel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Angel)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-silly-food-fantasy/758044/27 "2016-06-23T15:22:54Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > You could probably do it sous vide. > > And I’ve always seen the instructions for the sliced-banana thing as involving a needle and thread, but I’m not sure why you wouldn’t just use a needle. Stick it in, and swish it back and forth to make the cut. That’s how I learned the trick from some magic book years ago. I can’t even work out how the thread wouldn’t just overcomplicate it. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-silly-food-fantasy/758044/28 "2016-06-23T15:22:59Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > Don’t forget the vast gourmet French meal in _Babette’s Feast_! You’ll need fifty thousand francs, first. ---
**Author:** ![dracoi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@dracoi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dracoi)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-silly-food-fantasy/758044/29 "2016-06-23T17:34:51Z")
> [@Johnny\_Angel](#): > > That’s how I learned the trick from some magic book years ago. I can’t even work out how the thread wouldn’t just overcomplicate it. If it’s in the context of a magic trick, isn’t it because the trick is to make the audience think you magically used the string to cut the banana but not the peel? The string’s only purpose is to confuse the audience about what is really cutting the banana, making them think you’ve done the impossible. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-silly-food-fantasy/758044/30 "2016-06-23T20:51:56Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > Don’t forget the vast gourmet French meal in _Babette’s Feast_! I almost chose this one, it was the second place winner in the ideas I had myself. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-silly-food-fantasy/758044/31 "2016-06-23T22:35:23Z")
One element of a fantasy meal already exists in my real life. At the truck stop where we have Thanksgiving dinner, it’s all-you-can-eat and they bring one of these pitchers [![](https://s.hdnux.com/photos/35/56/51/7793260/25/920x920.jpg) ](https://s.hdnux.com/photos/35/56/51/7793260/25/920x920.jpg) filled with gravy. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-silly-food-fantasy/758044/32 "2016-06-23T22:57:34Z")
And straws? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-silly-food-fantasy/758044/33 "2016-06-23T23:00:39Z")
> [@Azeotrope](#): > > And straws? 😃 Shot glasses. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-silly-food-fantasy/758044/34 "2016-06-23T23:02:09Z")
I’ve sometimes had the fantasy of having a traditional Thanksgiving dinner, only using ingredients found in North America in 1491. So roast turkey, stewed cranberries, pumpkin, cornbread, pecans, maple syrup instead of sugar, ramps instead of onion, and so on. No milk or dairy, no sugar, no wheat, no rice, no crucifers. Potatoes are from South America, so are an edge case, but if you’re going to do this you might wanna stick with North America only. It really would have almost everything for a proper Thanksgiving, the only problem is no butter, no mashed potatoes, and no wheat for pie crusts. You could use pecan flour to make a fairly decent pumpkin pie crust, but with no milk or chicken eggs or cinnamon the pumpkin pie won’t be right. Still, stewed pumpkin sweetened with maple syrup in a pecan-nut crust is pretty dang close. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-silly-food-fantasy/758044/35 "2016-06-23T23:06:36Z")
nm ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-silly-food-fantasy/758044/36 "2016-06-23T23:27:25Z")
> [@Lemur866](#): > > I’ve sometimes had the fantasy of having a traditional Thanksgiving dinner, only using ingredients found in North America in 1491. Along similar historical lines, who wants to sit down with me to Mark Twain’s famous homecoming-from-Europe dinner? > **[Mark Twain’s Rapturous List of His Favorite American Foods](https://www.flavorwire.com/265604/mark-twains-rapturious-list-of-his-favorite-american-foods)** > > From France to Italy, Europe is supposed to be the global capitol of cuisine. But the famously opinionated Mark Twain didn’t think so, and when he tour the continent in the 1870s, he found himself longing for good, old American food. Lists of Note… Because I don’t think I can finish all this off by myself. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-silly-food-fantasy/758044/37 "2016-06-23T23:47:03Z")
Ever since I read one of those accounts of paleontologists dining on newly-defrosted mammoth steaks, I’ve wanted to eat a mammoth steak. ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2016, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-silly-food-fantasy/758044/38 "2016-06-24T00:13:50Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > As an alternative I’d like to have enough money to have a catered party, with mostly hors d’oeuvres(sp?) My boss is a good caterer, has done some fancy affairs, including catering to the First Lady’s reception when she visited Topeka in 2002. I’ve helped him with some of those affairs. I’d say “Money is no object. Hire whatever help you need, whatever equipment you don’t already have, and I’ll pay for it.” I’d want shrimp, caviar, champagne, smoked salmon, all sorts of goodies for around fifty people I’d tell him. Don’t look at the prices, buy the best, oh, don’t forget good chocolates. I’ll guarantee a large tip for all the staff. I went to a wedding like that once, and it was da bomb. My husband I ate ourselves silly, then went back to the hotel room and … _ahem_ It was a good wedding. ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2016, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-silly-food-fantasy/758044/39 "2016-06-24T00:15:13Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > Don’t forget the vast gourmet French meal in _Babette’s Feast_! I can’t watch Babette’s Feast anymore without blubbering through the whole thing. But that feast is about at the level I’d like to attempt, too. When you take into account what can be prepared ahead of time, it is just about at the right level for an experienced cook working full time, for 2-3 days. ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2016, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-silly-food-fantasy/758044/40 "2016-06-24T00:18:00Z")
> [@AHunter3](#): > > Ever since I read one of those accounts of paleontologists dining on newly-defrosted mammoth steaks, I’ve wanted to eat a mammoth steak. Bog butter. I’ve seriously investigated how to get my hands on some bog butter. Unfortunately the only answer is “know someone who digs some up.” … have I just posted three times in a row? One day I need to learn to multiquote. I re-read Laura Ingalls Wilder’s book Farmer Boy mostly for the food. I sometimes wish I had a farm family to cook for, like that. I like to whip up good tasting home cookin’ type food, and I have practically no one who will eat it. Daughter–no. Cat–no. Husband–yes, in a couple hours, when he’s good and ready. _sigh_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-silly-food-fantasy/758044.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-silly-food-fantasy/758044.md?page=3)