# What's your superhero name? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 16, 2000, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-superhero-name/16107 "2000-04-16T18:35:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![saucy\_potato](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/edb3f5/32.png) [@saucy\_potato](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saucy_potato)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2000, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-superhero-name/16107/21 "2000-04-17T22:32:00Z")
I don’t have a superhero name, but I used to scare people with my incredible evil-eye glare. Maybe that makes me a supervillian instead. * * * _That was a well-plotted piece of non-claptrap that never made me want to retch._ ---
**Author:** ![El\_Smasho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f9ae1b/32.png) [@El\_Smasho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Smasho)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2000, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-superhero-name/16107/22 "2000-04-17T23:38:00Z")
I have a confession to make: I’m not the _real_ El Smasho. In fact, the El Smasho that I took the name from wasn’t the _real_ El Smasho either; no, the _real_ El Smasho retired some 15 years ago and is living it up in the Bahamas. I still talk to all the other El Smashos out there, including El Smasho #1, who refers to us as his “sons.” So I guess me and the others are “The Sons of El Smasho.” If we ever got on the same side of sober, **boy** would you people be in trouble. I’m talking _Gabby Hayes_ trouble. * * * Hey, if it ain’t broke, give ME a shot at it. ---
**Author:** ![Pixoid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Pixoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixoid)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2000, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-superhero-name/16107/23 "2000-04-18T00:24:00Z")
I’m the Math Goddess (yes, there is a Math God, too. We feud for bragging rights.) And, most recently, SuperDitz! Actually, I was just thinking of starting this topic. No, really–the SuperDitz is a new one, and there was a whole story. Good thing you started it instead, so I don’t have to tell you my creation story… 😉 (Issue No. 1–SuperDitz discovers her awesome powers.) * * * ## My classes are optional. So is graduating. (Certifiable **WallyM7** Sig) Homepage: [www.lightwave.com](http://www.lightwave.com) Occupation: Photon Location: I’m still stuck on this phosphor screen Interests: Illuminescence, Phosphorescence and Florescence (Profile by **UncleBeer** ) ---
**Author:** ![Aardvarkm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e56c9b/32.png) [@Aardvarkm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aardvarkm)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2000, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-superhero-name/16107/24 "2000-04-18T00:43:00Z")
THE AVENGING AARDVARK!–scourge of the pismires! ---
**Author:** ![Lexicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ac8455/32.png) [@Lexicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lexicon)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2000, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-superhero-name/16107/25 "2000-04-18T00:57:00Z")
Hungarian Underwear Ninja. It’s a long story, but basically when I was little I used to take off my tightie-whiteys and put them on my head. Then I would take some dress socks and hang them out the leg-holes. Then I would run around and jump off the couch and stuff going “Ha! Hwa-yo! Ha! Ho! Hi-yah! Ya-ho!” and beating up pillows (bad guys) and stuff like that. My parents considered getting me some help, but I guess they chalked it up to normal antics. At any rate, I managed to avoid the kiddy loony-bin, and now here I am. I don’t do this anymore… often. * * * Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken. ---
**Author:** ![Narile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@Narile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Narile)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2000, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-superhero-name/16107/26 "2000-04-18T01:21:00Z")
My superhero name…Dr. Discontinuity. A few ideas flit about though the ether of my head in this subject… Neebish looking guy asked what his superhero name is…(Cue Loud music, strike pose) \*\*I am capt…[/] what? Oh its too loud, I’ll turn it down a bit (Music turned to low to really hear.)…I am **Captain** …Oh, I’m too loud still? Ok. (Music turned off, the rest said in a soft hesitant voice) I am captain assertion. Hero names that also popped into the mind, and didn’t want to stay: **Major Distraction** Ever actually look at the average super heroine? (Yes, the Major is a woman, got a problem with it?) Think about it. **Captain Curteous** A polite person these days just stuns people. **Rush Limbaugh** Just kidding, want to see how many of you are actually reading this… **Lord Knowitall** You know, bores the villains to death. **Havendevagist** Just don’t ask him for directions. Thats all…if you are lucky. * * * \>\>Being Chaotic Evil means never having to say your sorry…unless the other guy is bigger than you.\<\< —The dragon observes ---
**Author:** ![Narile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@Narile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Narile)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2000, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-superhero-name/16107/27 "2000-04-18T01:23:00Z")
Oh, Osip…the book you are referring to is \*\*Good Omens[\b] by Gaiman and Pratchett. Excellent read, It’s the End of the World and I feel like laughing. 🙂 * * * \>\>Being Chaotic Evil means never having to say your sorry…unless the other guy is bigger than you.\<\< —The dragon observes ---
**Author:** ![Yankee\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/7ea924/32.png) [@Yankee\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yankee_Blue)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2000, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-superhero-name/16107/28 "2000-04-18T02:49:00Z")
Suzanne beat me to it but I’ll add === WorkingMom! * * * All you need to start an asylum is an empty room and the right kind of people. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2000, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-superhero-name/16107/29 "2000-04-18T16:02:00Z")
All and sundry have agreed that **Gay Guy** has a superhero ring to it… 😃 I also am referred to as “Tenor God #1,” and Steve is my companion, “Tenor God #2.” We’re, um, tenors. 🙂 When I played the role-playing game Champions I of course came up with a slew of characters. My first was Crystallyne, a silicon-based being from another dimension who had control over the 5 elements. Then I came up with Flame, a superhero much closer to the real me (yes, he was gay, and he actually _flamed_). After that was Bluewing, a mute assassin turned superhero, and I remember working on a speed character named Zing. Take yer pick. Esprix * * * ## [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) (or, if you prefer the Jesusfied version, [Asketh the damn Priest Guy!](http://www.askjesus.org/ask.cgi?http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html)) ## “Never assume a malicious intent when stupidity will explain just as well.” {This space reserved for a Genuine WallyM7 Sig™} ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2000, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-superhero-name/16107/30 "2000-04-18T16:18:00Z")
The Culinary Avenger! Protected by his secret identity as a stockboy at Dean & Deluca, Culinary Avenger protects the tastebuds of the citizens of Pantrytown from the depredations of Dr. MSG and Fugu Manchu. In his vehicle, the Palate-mobile (a refurbished catering truck), he rescues people who are about to suffer through bland and boring meals. Pantrytowners everywhere look to the sky in gratitude when they hear his cry, “Mmmm-boy!” * * * Live a Lush Life Da Chef ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2000, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-superhero-name/16107/31 "2000-04-18T16:20:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Chef Troy: > \*\*Culinary Avenger protects the tastebuds of the citizens of Pantrytown from the depredations of … Fugu Manchu. > \*\* For the sushi-impaired, _fugu_ is made from poisonous blowfish and causes your lips and tongue to go numb. * * * Live a Lush Life Da Chef ---
**Author:** ![Narile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@Narile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Narile)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-superhero-name/16107/32 "2000-04-19T05:05:00Z")
Chef, you forgot the dropping over dead part w/regards to _fugu_ * * * \>\>Being Chaotic Evil means never having to say your sorry…unless the other guy is bigger than you.\<\< —The dragon observes ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-superhero-name/16107/33 "2000-04-19T05:24:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Breckinshire: > \*\*THE INCREDIBLE HOVERING VACUUM! > > Look! It’s a vacuum that hovers!\*\* doesnt that make you kind of working against yourself there??? ---
**Author:** ![stolichnaya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bcef8e/32.png) [@stolichnaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stolichnaya)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-superhero-name/16107/34 "2000-04-19T05:29:00Z")
Good Omens… hee-hee. “War, Famine, Pestilence, Grevious Bodily Harm, and Things Still Not Working Even After They’ve Been Given A Good Thumping”. My superhero name is “Captain Inertia” which was assigned to me after my knowitall gland spewed a lecture on the behavior of helium ballons in a car I was driving. I even have a sidekick, “Gravity Boy”. * * * stoli “There’s always a little dirt, or infinity, or something.” -Feynman ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-superhero-name/16107/35 "2000-04-19T05:48:00Z")
**Mistress of Uncommon Reactions to Prescription Drugs** Seriously. Look waaaay at the bottom of the list. Those are the reactions I get. * * * You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you. With love from the poster voted as having the **"Most Confusing Username"** ---
**Author:** ![Joe\_Cool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecb155/32.png) [@Joe\_Cool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joe_Cool)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2000, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-superhero-name/16107/36 "2000-04-18T18:47:00Z")
Since it doesn’t seem to be taken, I am EL NIÑO: destroyer of worlds, ruiner of vacations. ---
**Author:** ![h\_thur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/db5fbb/32.png) [@h\_thur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/h_thur)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2000, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-superhero-name/16107/37 "2000-04-18T20:03:00Z")
Kudos to Suzanne and Yankee Blue. I must add: SingleWorkingMom Racing from work to the sitter’s to home only to balance baby on the hip while balancing the tight household budget, washing clothes, and cooking a meal simultaneously with no private time or sleep ever. (I know WorkingMom and “Mommy” are no stranger to these feats. We are all allies in the sticky back alleys of Childhood.) Another superhero I knew: Count Bethula - my bargain-hunting old roommate, haggling for the best price and sucking the life & validity out of any good deals I thought I had made. My old superhero name was: Soap Opera Woman. If it was dramatic and bizarre - it happened to me or someone I knew. (There will be a book someday. And it will involve: satanic kidnappers, prospective partners that turn out to be homosexual pedophiles, elusive lying criminals exposed and thus jailed, tales of excess, the seedy underworld of local barflies, illegitimate children, abusive partners, drug dealers, religious fanaticism, why I don’t meet my neighbors anymore, and more. All true stories…) ---
**Author:** ![rubes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@rubes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rubes)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2000, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-superhero-name/16107/38 "2000-04-18T20:09:00Z")
Not really a superhero, but I am known as Reuben Huggleby, P.I. even though that’s not even close to my name, nor am I a p.i. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2000, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-superhero-name/16107/39 "2000-04-18T20:23:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Narile: > \*\*Chef, you forgot the dropping over dead part w/regards to _fugu_ > \*\* Aw, that only happens when it’s prepared improperly. And even then you could probably fix it with more butter. * * * Live a Lush Life Da Chef ---
**Author:** ![Sassy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@Sassy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sassy)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2000, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-superhero-name/16107/40 "2000-04-18T22:37:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by dpr: > \*\*Ambivalence Man > Righter of wrongs (but in an unsure, slightly apatehtic way). > > Superpower: able to see both sides of everything and therefore usually debate himself into inaction. > > _sigh_ > > \*\* ## Are you related to me? I am a redhead, you see, and I do not tempt. I insist. -Cristi [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-superhero-name/16107.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-your-superhero-name/16107.md?page=3)